A/n: Before we begin, I would like to address y'all sexy mothafucka's attention to a slightly less attractive Wattpader I'm affiliated with by the name of Warlider. He's young, single, featured in a War Thunder compilation video at one point, and so far has an interesting RWBY story that deserves a little more attention. Sure he says it's garbage, but we all say that about our own stories. (Except for me) Plus, a dumpster fire is still fun to watch sometimes! So go give him some love/mutual affection! And if you're reading this, War, I do this 'cause I luv u. No homo. Maybe. STORY TIME!

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[Location: Ozpin's office]

(Y/n)'s p.o.v.

(Y/n): No.

Ozpin: (y/n), please-

(Y/n): No!

Ozpin: You can't be selfish abou-

(Y/n): No, I can be selfish about this as much as I want! Do you even know what your asking of me?

Ozpin: (y/n), the Aura disruptor technique is quite possibly one the most powerful battle techniques to ever be mastered. If you were to just teach it to some of the students, or even other Huntsmen-

(Y/n): Most of whom are assholes. This isn't some trick you teach for shits and giggles. It's a sacred form that barely a handful of people back in Vacuo know how to use, much less master it. The last person that learned it went power crazy and had to be put down. Hence my assholes comment earlier. Hell, I don't use it because of its unpredictability on certain aura levels among people. And you know I'm in to unpredictability!

Ozpin: Just-

(Y/n): This ain't up for debate, Ozpin. I'm not teaching these kids a move that could make them accidentally implode someone they're trying to subdue.

I turn on my heel and make my way to the elevator. As I enter, I press a button and face Ozpin again. He looks annoyed.

(Y/n): You know for a wise old fart, Ozpin, you're kinda oblivious to certain things related to what you ask for. Like a dense protagonist with someone hitting on them, you can't seem to grasp the concept that there is more than meets the eye with thingsthatyouobviouslydidn'tputinthe EFFORTTOLEARNINGBEFOREHAND!

I quickly try to say as the elevator doors finally close. Descending me to the school grounds.

(Y/n): I gotta time those better........ Wait, why did I use the elevator? I can teleport, for fuck sake!

*bamf*

Using my semblance, I teleport outside of Glynda's room. Pulling out the spare key that I totally didn't make a copy of, I saw myself in.

(Y/n): Knock knock, Sexymus Prime! Your arch nemesis, Megacock, has arriv-what the hell?

I look over and see Glynda face down on her pillow, hair disheveled, and in nothing but a tank top and underwear. More noticeably is the field of tissues strewn about her room.

Glynda: "groan""cough"

(Y/n): Crimi-fucking-nently. Who hit your ugly switch?

She slowly turned on her back and struggled to sit up. Her nose and eyes are beet red. With snot dripping out of her nose.

Glynda: "snort" I'm sick, you ass. "cough"

Her voice has a heavy nasal congestion sound to it as she tries to talk.

(Y/n): In the morning as well?... Are you pregnant?

She reaches over to a tissue box and pulls out a new sheet. Lifting it up to her leaky face.

Glynda: *blow* Ng-no. My last period proves that theory wrong. "sniff"

(Y/n): Gross.

Glynda: Wait. What time is it?

(Y/n): Twenty till nine.

Her eyes widen a bit as she tries to get out of bed.

Glynda: I'm gonna be late for classes! Help me find my cape!

(Y/n): That's cute. You're staying in bed.

Glynda: Like hell! I just need some cough medicine and nasal spray, and I'll be fine-

I stand right in front of Glynda and stick my middle finger to her forehead. Surprising her.

(Y/n): No.

I push her head back with my finger. Causing her to fall backwards in the bed.

(Y/n): You won't. You're going to stay in this bed and that's final, young lady. 'Dad mode activated.'

Glynda just glares back up at me from her bed. Kinda adorable in a she's-sick-and-can't-do-anything-about-my-bullshit kind of way.

Glynda: "sigh/cough"... So what about my classes then?

(Y/n): Not a problem! In case you don't remember.

*bamf*
.
.
.
*bamf*

I return with a bucket and an electric thermometer.

(Y/n): I can practically be in two places at once. Peach says hi, by the way.

Glynda: (y/n), I appreciate you helping me, but-mmph!?

I stick the thermometer in her mouth, silencing her.

(Y/n): Under the tongue. Don't worry about it for a few days, Glynda. I'll try not to make your job a living hell when you get better maybe.

She raises a questioning eyebrow at that last part.

(Y/n): Anyway, I'll be right back with some medicine. Once classes start, I'll give the students a double dosage of (y/n)!... I'll drop by every now and then to make sure you're not dead. Bye, love you!

I kiss two of my fingers and tap her on the forehead before setting out for the meds.

*bamf*

3rd p.o.v.

Early on that day, word has spread that Professor (l/n) is filling in for Professor Goodwitch. There have been a few murmurs of interest from the situation. Until it's replaced with horrified realization that they have to deal with (y/n) twice a day now. In one of Glynda's classes, (y/n) waits for the next class to arrive. Looking at epic fails on his scroll as he waits.

A minute or so later, students begin to pour in. A few immediately notice (y/n).

Jaune: Oh God, they were right!

(Y/n): Good to see you too, Jaune. Now sit your asses down so we can start!

They take their seats without question. In fear of pissing him off.

(Y/n): All right, wait one sec.

*bamf*
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
*bamf*

(Y/n): Sorry. Running two classes is a bitch. Anywho, let's start off with a few simple sparring matches. Let's seeee...

He scans over the students to see who would make an interesting match against each other. A few students try shrinking away from his gaze. Some seem enthusiastic. He sees his son, Noir, conversing with team CFVY. Somewhat pleased to see him making new friends. Moving on, he spots Yang taking a nap, Nora fidgeting on the spot while mumbling about legs, Ruby picking her nose, Weiss being disgusted by this, Pyrrha waiting for her Jaune-senpai to notice her, and so on.

After a minute of searching, (y/n) suddenly has an idea for a match. He knows he'll have to explain his decision later. But until then, he sports a grin as he speaks.

(Y/n): Noir (l/n) and Blake Belladonna!

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