Noir's p.o.v.

Weiss: Your dad's a mad man.

The white crayon of RWBY states as everyone in my class make our way to the court yard again.

Noir: I'd find that insulting if it weren't obviously true. Just don't say it to his face. That'll only encourage him.

We make it outside and see dad with a few duffle bags at his side and some chairs. This oughta be good.

(Y/n): You know the drill. Toss your shit, shut up, and pay attention to my words of educational wisdom.

We dispose of our personal weapons and just wait for him to start teaching us whatever the hell he wants.

(Y/n): Same concept as the last two lessons. For whatever reason, you don't have your weapon on you. Or any weapon for that matter. So what do you do? Unless you're in the middle of nowhere and/or lack the simplest concept of imagination; you use whatever the hell you can get your hands on!

He reaches into one of the duffle bags and pulls out a hard back book of 'Violet's Garden' while grabbing a chair.

(Y/n): From books to chairs, pepper shakers to DVDs, paper clips to cotton swabs, et cetera to et cetera! Sky's the limit when you don't give a shit in a fight!

To no one's surprise, Weiss raises her hand.

(Y/n): "sigh" God dammit. What?

Weiss: This seems kind of ludicrous. Nevermind the fact that not having your weapon at hand would be extremely unprofessional, but-

(Y/n): Weiss, people like you are the reason I take drugs with my beer for breakfast. And if that's the mindset you're sticking with for the rest of your life, you're gonna be very disappointed and very dead quick in the real world. Now I don't know nor care what they teach you in the frozen butt fuck tundra we call Atlas, but down here in the rest of the world, it's do or die once you somehow graduate as a Huntress. So if you don't want to die, ya gotta be creative on what to do in a battle situation where you are most likely gonna get killed. And if that means bludgeoning someone with a used toilet brush, then so be it. Which reminds me.

He soon reaches into the duffle bag again and pulls out a toilet brush, tossing it at Weiss. As she catches it, she quickly lets go of it in discuss. We all just laugh at the display as dad starts grabbing stuff from the duffle bag.

(Y/n): Form a line, kiddies!

After a minute of being handed a random asortment of utensils, we are given partners to spar with. Right now, I have a wooden chair as I face against Coco with a 30lb dumbbell.

(Y/n): Aaaaaannnd, FIGHT!

She lifts up the dumbbell like a boxing glove with ease. Given the fact she carries a gatling gun like a purse, a 30 pound dumbbell is basically nothing to her. That's kinda scary, actually... I swing the chair up and prepare to fight.

Coco: Hey.

As we circle each other, she desides to start a conversation with me.

Coco: You're the guy that helped Velvet with that Cardin problem, right?

She charges at me, swinging the dumbbell down towards my head. I dodge to the side as the weight crashes into the ground. Dirt and grass flying up as it lands.

Noir: Technically, all I did was mutilate someone with sporks during the time.

I thrust the chair at Coco and ensnare her with the legs. Instead of getting knocked over, she just twists her body around and tosses me to the side.

Coco: Still, thanks for that. She's part of my team, but we're not always around to help her with that kind of crap. Not having the same lunch time definitely doesn't HELP!

She swings the dumbbell at me again on the last word. Catching me off guard. The dumbbell makes contact with my chair and completely shatters it. Leaving me just standing here dumbfounded with two pieces of wood in hand. I quickly use them as batons and take a defensive stance.

Coco: Say, after this do you-

Ruby: EW! WEISS, GET AWAY FROM ME!

Out of nowhere, Ruby just runs between us. Weiss following close behind with a toilet brush.

Coco:... You want to hang out with me and my team? She might be too fidgety to show, but I'm sure Velvet would appreciate it.

Noir: Sure. Sounds fun.

I charge at her with my makeshift batons. She prepares another swing, thinking I'm that straight forward. Without warning I toss one of the chair pieces at her stomach, catching her off guard. She keels over just a bit from the blow. I quickly toss the other at her head. Causing her head to whip back as she's now stunned.

Still charging, I jump in the air and drop kick her across the field.

Coco lays on the ground for a second before she gets back up. Dumbbell still in hand. She adjusts her sunglasses back into place and sports a grin.

Coco: All right. No more playing around.

Slightly worried now, I duck down and pick up one of the chair pieces closest to me. Off in the distance I can still hear Ruby screaming her head off. Praying for salvation from the toilet brush.

[Location: Teachers lounge]

As the coffee machine brews the nectar of the gods, Ozpin grabs his head and slowly turns it to the side. Eliciting a few pops from his neck. He lets go and soon reaches up to the cupboard to acquire a certain coffee cup. After feeling around for a few seconds, he diverts his attention to a different cupboard. A few plates, some glass, and a thermostat. But no mug.

Completely puzzled, he starts looking through every cupboard, drawer, and lastly the dishwasher by the sink. Overall, he couldn't find that one coffee cup he's looking for.

Ozpin: Where in the world is my favorite mug?

[Location: Back to the court yard]

Ruby continues to run around as Weiss keeps chasing her with the toilet brush. Taking the chance, she quickly turns around and winds back her arm as she holds a mug. The words '#1 Headmaster' printed on the side. She tosses the mug right towards Weiss. Only for the heiress to duck down at the last second, mug flying over her head.

She glares at her team leader before chasing her again.

[Location: Another generic abandoned warehouse]

White Fang at work, Roman Torchwick bossing them around, and Cinder looking over plans with Emerald and Mercury. She scans over photos from the progress of their plans until she comes across a photo of the new teacher in Beacon.

Mercury: Soooooo, what's the big deal about this guy? He just looks like a generic Huntsman.

Cinder: "sigh" As far as Adam has told me, he has caused a lot of trouble for the White Fang in Mistral at some point. What that trouble specifically is, he didn't bother to say.

Roman and Neo soon join the little meeting after giving the grunts enough orders.

Roman: All right, most of the supplies are bagged at this point. All that's left are the guns and we'll be on-

He looks down at the photo and immediately recognizes the man.

Roman: I know who that is........ Oh. Oh-ho-ho, fuck my life!

He face palms himself in absolute disbelief as Neo looks at the photo as well. Her eyes go wide in an instant as she points her umbrella up. She opens it, floating up in the air and Marry Poppins' the fuck out.

Cinder: Roman, you know who this is?

She asks. Somewhat curious of what's going on. Roman takes a minute to collect himself before responding.

Roman: (y/n) motherfucking (l/n)... Welp, we're boned! I'd say it was nice working with you all, but that be a lie.

Cinder: Oh for fu-Who the hell is he and how dangerous can he be!?

She shouts as her hands alight with flames. Threatening to torch Torchwick.

Roman: "inhale" He... is an unrelenting mad man. If you're not from Mistral or Vacuo, then you've no idea what kind of hell he's capable of raising in a short span of time. In Mistral, he's started civil wars by just sleeping with someone's daughter, burnt down forests just to smoke out one person, nearly bombed a city just to get back at someone, and completely brought down the black market in a matter of minutes. And that's barely scratching the surface on what he's done! A few years ago, I had the misfortune to have him come after me... I've nearly been killed three times. And I've only faced him once!

He reaches up and combs his bangs to the side, revealing his other eye. It's heavily scarred and half open. The eye itself is much more dull than the other. Clearly blind.

Roman: Once.

Cinder:..... Good to know.

She turns around back to the table and stares at the photo of (y/n). Slightly intrigued, and mostly worried.

----

Deadpool: Can I have one of those guns?

Cable: No.

Deadpool: That's fine. Just gonna use this brick.

A/n: Basically the premise of the lesson.