I closed the door behind me, ignoring the energy resonating in my fingertips. I'm not scared. The maze isn't that scary.

"I'm so bloody angry, right now," Newt said, pacing around the room.

After talking to Minho, I'd met up with Newt, who'd simply huffed that 'We needed to talk.' I didn't argue, as he angrily strode to the homestead, but I couldn't help the knot that had found its way into my throat and stomach. What had him so upset? I assume it's about the whole Nick sending me into the maze thing.

"We knew this was coming. Nick wasn't going to let my punishment drop that quickly." I reasoned, hoping to stabilize the situation. Good thing is; we're alone right now, actually in the Medjack's room. So I can talk one-on-one with Newt without either of us being influenced by anybody else.

"But, they're sending you on a death mission." Newt ran his fingers through his hair, his voice wavering in its strength.

"It's okay. I'm gonna be okay." I slowly stepped further into the room.

"What if you aren't?" Newt glanced at me. I had been hoping he wouldn't say that. Because he was right. If I'm the bait for their griever search, then that means, I'm the first to go if things happen to take a turn for the worst.

But I answered positively. I mean, one of us had to be the 'glass is half full' type of person, "Then so be it." With this answer I hoped to, also, calm the uneasiness I felt rolling throughout my whole body.

You escape death, just to be faced with it again.

This seemed to be life.

"Nick's a liar," Newt seethed, shaking slightly. His breathing was ragged and his voice was hoarse. He reminded me of a young child who'd lost his parents in a grocery store, on verge of panic.

"Everyone knows that. Alby and the Keepers are taking everything into consideration." My hand reached out to touch Newt's arm.

He moved away from me, and with a gasp said, "I don't know what to do? My life is awful."

"It's okay." I mumbled, not understanding where Newt was going with this conversation. If his life is awful, goodness gracious, what the heck is mine?

"No, it isn't." He bent over, hands on his knees. I heard him taking quick, short breaths.

"You're not the one dying, its okay." I tried to touch him again, only to be pushed away, again.

"It feels like I am." He stood to his full height, still not breathing properly.

"Quit swallowing air, Newt. It doesn't help anything. Sit down." I said sympathetically, as I walked over to the window. I propped it open. A rush of cooler air flooding into the room.

"No, it's okay." He leaned against the wall using his arm for support.

"Newt." I stared at him. He struggled to control his breathing, coughing in between breaths. He gagged a couple of times. Tears rolled down his cheeks, he was having a panic attack, "Newt, can you breath?"

He nodded, coughing again.

"Come here, cool air opens the lungs."

He shook his head, before barely getting the words "I'm fine" out.

"You obviously aren't fine." I stepped closer to Newt. He bent down again, unable to breathe, "Newt." He moved away from me, "Hey, don't keep pushing me away." I whispered, "I'm trying to help you."

Newt shook his head again, "It's okay." A sharp intake of breath, "I'm fine."

"Take a deep breath, Newt." I grabbed onto his arms and pulled him up from being so close to the ground. His hands were shaking, "Look at me."

He looked at me, but only quickly, "I can't breathe." He finally admitted, crying some more.

"I know, come over here, to the window." I wrapped my arm around him and walked the both of us over to the cooler air, "Focus on breathing slower. Think of happy things."

"I can't." He inhaled air quickly, still panicking.

"Newt, in through your nose, out through your mouth." I tried to demonstrate what I meant, but I don't think he understood, his eyes not paying attention to me. I wiped away the tears on his cheeks with my thumb, "Just relax, everything is okay."

"I feel like I'm dying," He said, shaking his head.

"You aren't, you're only panicking." I focused all of my attention onto the sobbing, yet slowly calming, boy in front of me. His blonde hair was messy and his cheeks were tinted red, shining with fresh tears. His quivering lips were parted as they desperately tried to control his breathing. The color of his eyes seeming darker and deeper than ever before as they stared out the window. I studied the face of the person I'd come to love, giving Newt a few minutes to console himself. In this moment of complete weakness, I didn't see anything weak like I knew Newt thought I would. The look in his eyes, pupils dilated, held a certain strength behind them. A particular strength I knew I didn't have. Newt was a beautiful mystery. Unfolding at the edges, soon to be discovered. In this moment, I want to save him. Learn why he feels defeated. Know why the tears he cries are falling down his cheeks. Discover the inner depths of his being. I want all of Newt.

"You want to leave, don't you?" Newt whispered, seeming to finally control his breathing; his panic attack over.

"No," I said, wondering how he could honestly think I didn't want to help him.

"Yes. You probably wish you had never stumbled upon my sad world. I get it, you want to run away from me. But, please, do it now. Run away now, before I fall any deeper in love."

"I would never run away from you. I care about you, Newt."

"Don't lie to me." Newt finally met my stare. His eyes telling me words his mouth would never mutter. He was scared.

"I don't have to lie. I'm here and that's final. I wouldn't want to be anywhere else." I said, the cool air from the window, chilling.

Tears welled in Newt's eyes again, "I don't like to break down in front of people. It's weak- I'm weak."

"No, Newt, you could never be weak. If anything, I think you've only gotten stronger after tonight." I caressed the hair out of Newt's eyes, "Don't push me away when you need help. I want to be here."

"Then come closer to me. Even when I push you away," He said locking eyes with me for a second time, "Be here, close to me. Please, I need you."

"You have to let me in sometimes," I hinted, "You have to tell me how you're feeling."

"There's some things even you shouldn't know. They'll scare you away," Newt's voice sent shivers over my skin. His thumb was drawing circles on my forearm, calming my anxious body. He looked at me with an intense gaze.

"I'm not scared," I mumbled, losing my breath, "I want to help you."

He picked up my hand and placed it on his chest. His fingers intertwined with mine on top of the soft fabric of his tshirt, I felt the fast and steady beat of his heart through my sweaty fingertips and the cotton material, "Fast. My heartbeat does that when you're around. It pumps for you, even when I want it to stop completely."

"I need you." I whispered, shamelessly.

"But you don't, okay? You can't need me." Newt said, biting his lip.

"But I do."

"It's my fault you're being sent into the maze with that group." Newt quickly said.

"Huh?"

"It's my fault. I brought that idea up to Nick. I said it as a last resort. I didn't mean it." Newt looked on the verge of tears, again.

"It's oka-" Where were all of these emotions coming from?

"No it isn't. See that's the kind of stuff that I warned you about. I mess things up. I hurt people."

"I'm in love with you, Newt." I whispered, "Nothing you say or do could scare me away."

"I basically killed you-"

"No, you saved me. Newt, why are you blaming yourself for that?"

"Because its my fault." He looked away, his voice shaking.

"No it isn't. Everything's okay. It was okay two hours ago. It's okay now. And it's going to be okay tomorrow."

"You don't know that."

"If it isn't okay tomorrow, then just know that I love you and that I don't have a life here without you."

"What?"

"You make here, not so bad, Newt. You didn't kill me, you didn't make up my punishment- Look, I need you and if you don't like that, then that sucks."

"Nobody needs me. If I weren't here, if I'd never been sent to this place, you would still live and be happy. But if you weren't here, I wouldn't be the same. I'm attached and I can't be."

"Why not? Let yourself be attached."

"When you get close to people, they leave. They hurt you."

"I'm not like other people." The words rushed from my lips in a quick exhale.

"I know."

"But you obviously don't. I want to know everything about you, Newt. The highs and the lows, the dark times and the good times. Against everything my mind is telling me, I haven't known you forever. I'm still in this shadow of unknown with you. Let me in. I want to know you."

"Then buggin' know me. I want to be an open book with you," Newt spoke these words angrily. But, I took them differently. He was hurt. Newt was hurting and I had to heal him. A different kind of patient for the Medjack that I am. A special case.

"Is that a challenge?" My mind sped up, trying to understand what was happening. Within the last five minutes, Newt had revealed more about his feelings to me, than he'd ever talked about in the time that I've known him.

"I'm still buggin' furious and upset-" So I kissed him. What a change in conversation, Brianne. I think I deserve a cookie or something. Steering clear of a touchy conversation.

But this kiss was definitely not the same as the others Newt and I had shared.

This one was heavy and rushed, full of emotions. My hands pressed to the sides of his head. One of Newt's hands resting on my hip, the other on my neck, pulling me closer, but also pushing me away. My back hit what I assume to be the wall with a thud. The whole time Newt hadn't broken our locked lips. I closed my eyes, swallowing the overwhelming feeling bubbling up from my stomach. Words couldn't describe the type of high Newt gave me.

Newt's hand eventually traveled up to my knotted mess of hair, that I had thrown into a bun earlier. He pulled on the elastic band, letting my hair fall down over my shoulders and back. His fingers ran through it, "I like your hair."

My cheeks glowed pink, "I-I like yours too." I said, my mind fumbling for words, as I tried to remain in control of whatever was happening. I can't tell if Newt's still angry, but either way I want to keep the mood light.

He laughed, the skin beside his eyes crinkling. His hand had stopped playing with my hair, and currently rested in the space between my neck and face, but I couldn't ignore the other hand on my hip though, "You look so bloody scared. Are you sure you're not terrified of me?" Newt's face was close to mine still, even though we weren't kissing.

My eyes fluttered, and I relaxed into the wall behind me, "I'm not." I said, my voice cracking slightly. Where the heck was my sass when I needed it?

"I'm not a griever, no Changings around here," He leaned closer to me. Extremely close to me.

My breath hitched in my throat, my heart pumping blood at an unhealthy rate. To be honest, I was kind of scared he might be able to hear my heartbeat all the way through my chest.

He pushed the hair back away from my face and over my shoulder. His lips ghosted across my cheek, before he moved his mouth over to my ear, whispering, "The only thing I've wanted to change is your relationship status."

I laughed tilting my head to the side away from Newt, "That was cute."

"Yah?" He pulled away, distancing himself from me.

"You feel better?" I asked, tentatively.

"No," He paused, and I was grateful he continued, "I want to protect you. Anyone who gets in the way of that is the enemy."

"You don't always have to be at war, Newt." I whispered, knowing that my words had struck a sensitive place, somewhere in him, "Peace is okay sometimes."

Newts eyes were focused behind me, His eyebrows lowered, "I love you, you know that right?"

My eyebrows furrowed too, and I brought my free hand up to his forehead, stroking the hair off of his face, "Of course, I love you too."

The brown color of his eyes seemed to swirl in pools of black, his pupils small. "But do you understand how much I love you?"

"Yah." I was confused, "Why the sudden questions?" I tried to smile, ease his stiffness, but he wasn't paying attention to me, he was still staring out the window.

"I just think you should know." He took a deep breath, "No matter what happens, I still love you."

"I know." I took a step closer to him, he looped his arm around my back, so now we were both facing the window.

I followed his line of vision, trying to decipher what had caught his attention, but only became more confused when I realized what he was staring at.

The maze walls.

He spoke before I had the chance to ask questions, "I will love you unattainably and uncontrollably, forever." Newt whispered, his lips pressing against the side of my head, "My love."

"Forever." I whispered back, deciding then, that that would be our thing. I love you unattainably and uncontrollably, forever.

With a 'my love' thrown in there somewhere, too.

~~~~~

~~~Author's Notes~~~

I'm actually proud of this chapter. I really like it a lot. It's totally different than how I normally write, but I think it's nice. It's emotionally engaging and I think it really captures Newt and Brianne's relationship. If it flows correctly, it's a one of my favorite chapters. IDK GUYS, I ENJOY IT.

BUT HOLY CRAP, IT'S FEBRUARY. Which means Valentines Day!!!11!!1?! But I was thinking that y'all could be my valentines because this girl is forever alone, lol!!

ANYWAY! ILY ALL SO MUCH AND I'LL TALK TO YOU IN THE COMMENTS, because I like responding, OR IN THE NEXT UPDATE!

*we're only chapters away from my story's halfway point* AHDJFKJFNSK, I'm sure some of you can guess what chapter will mark the middle.... *winks but cries a bit* I'll give you a hint: Newt.

Just realizing that this chapter might be kind of short, OH WELL!!

ALRIGHT IM REALLY DONE NOW, BYEEE!!!!