Chapter 3 

The sickness 

      I woke up in the morning to the sound of someone groaning. I went and knocked on Connors' tent. “You okay?” 

          “Me? I’m fine. I’m just… doing yoga.”  

          “Well… okay but I have some tea ready so come out and drink it okay?” I said, gesturing to the pot on the fire. It had a good smelling aroma.

        “I’ll come out… in a minute.”  

        “You don't sound too good, are you sure you're okay?” I said slightly concerned.

          “Perfectly fine. Just… really focused on my yoga.” 

        I sigh. “Connor come out here. Now.” I say crossing my arms and waiting for him to come out. 

          “I will. As soon as I finish up. You can’t rush this.”  

         “Connor, I said. Come. Out. Here. Now.” I said becoming slightly more concerned. 

       “I’m not a dog. I’m allowed to stretch.”  

      “Connor you're making me worried just please come out.” I said I was genuinely concerned about him. 

          “… Fine. Whatever.” Connor says as he slowly walks out of his tent. “Happy now?” He was really pale and there were bags around his eyes and his face looked flushed and he could barely stand.

         “Connor you're sick! Why didn't you just tell me?” 

          “Sick? Me? Nah, this is what happens when I can't finish my yoga. I did just wake up after all.” 

        I sigh and walk over to him and press my hand to his forehead. “Connor you're burning up! Come sit down.” I said and gently grabbed his arm and steadied him so he could sit. 

        “No, I’m fine. I’m just sweating from the yoga. Now, where is this tea you said you made?” 

       “It's right here.” I said handing it to him in a cup. “Be careful, okay.” 

          “It’s just a cup of tea. I don’t need to be particularly careful.” 

         “Just be careful ok?”

          “You don’t need to repeat it. I’m just fine.” He then lifts the cup, and starts to drink from it, his hand shaking violently the whole time. He then drops the cup. 

           I calmly pick it up and go and rinse it out by the stream and pour him some more and then go and sit by him lifting it so he can drink from the cup. “Here let me help you.” 

          “I’m fine. I don’t need help.” 

         “Yes you do, you just dropped this. Please, you're running a fever, let me help you.” I begged my eyes filled with concern. 

          “I’ll be fine. It’s just some random fever. I’ll be better by tomorrow.” 

          I put the cup down and exited camp. Once I was out I took a couple of deep breaths. I remember when John almost died because of a fever like this… I thought to myself sadly. Once I had calmed down I entered the camp and sat down beside him. “Please let me help you. My brother had this same thing once and he almost died. I don't want to lose another person please Connor.” I said wiping away the tears that were starting to form. 

          Connor looks at you for what seems like forever. Eventually he sighs. “Fine, but stop with the traumatic backstory manipulation. I will stab you if you happen to have another convenient sob story.” 

                “I wasn't trying to… it wasn't like that. Fine then help yourself. I wasn't trying to manipulate you!” I shouted and stalked off to the other side of camp and sat down against a tree trying to calm down. 

          “I said you can help, and you walk away. People make no sense to me.” 

         “Yeah maybe because I'm sick of you not letting me help you?! Do you really think I would do anything to hurt you? Do you?! I need you to look me in the eyes and answer me this be honest.” I said, whipping my head around to look at him.

          “I don’t think that. It’s just… you’re not the only one who has trauma. I just don’t talk about mine. Ever.”

             “I know that! I know! Would you like me to just stop talking about my past altogether? I’m sorry I didn't realize I was being selfish. Can you please forgive me?”

          “I’m not upset at anything. You walked off. I don’t care how often or not you talk about your past. I just… never mind. I’m going back to my tent so you can sort yourself out.”

           “Don’t I'm fine but you need to eat and drink.” I said coming over to sit by him. I took the old cup with the tea in it and dumped the old out and poured new tea in it. I carefully held it up near his mouth so he could drink from it. “Do you think you can hold it this time?” 

          “I’ll be fine.” He says as he takes the cup from me using his left hand, and chugs the drink until it’s empty.

         I smiled and got to work grilling some of the rabbit meat and once it was done shoved one of my arrows through it and handed it to him. “Now eat okay?” 

          “… fine.” He then takes the arrow from me, and takes as many bites of food as he can before handing the arrow back to you, and walking to his tent to sit next to it. 

         I smile and walk next to him and sit down. “How do you feel?”

          “Useless, and suffering. Anymore questions?” 

        “Connor, you're not useless.” 

          “Yes I am. Lying isn’t going to help.”

         “No you're not. You can still use your metal hand right? You can still throw daggers.” 

          “No I can’t. I can only see clearly with one eye right now, and the downsides of bringing a sick man into a fight far outweighs the one benefit.” 

          “What's wrong with your eye. Also you know I wouldn't bring you into a fight when you're sick i’d protect you.” 

          “I’m sick. That’s what’s wrong with my eye. Also that’s the point. I’m deadweight in battle.” 

            “Usually being sick doesn't affect your eyes. Are you sure that's the only reason why?” 

          “That’s what I assumed, but now that I’m thinking about it, the cybernetics in my eye might need maintenance. I’ll look in a little bit.” 

         “Okay… let me know if I can help in anyway although I'd probably be of no help at all as per usual.” 

          “You’re more helpful than me.”  

          “I doubt it. But anyways I'm going to go hunting, wait here for me.” I said switching to Alpha’s armor and shouldering my bow and quiver. I went a good couple miles out of camp and had just sat down to wait for some deer but out of nowhere I was tackled to the ground my bow and quiver hit the ground.

        I looked up to see Arnu pinning me to the ground. Thankfully I had Alpha’s super strength so I managed to get one arm out and thrust an uppercut to his nose breaking it. He jumped up and released me and grabbed his sword  and slashed at me leaving a deep gash along my right arm and then stepped back a couple feet.

           I put my head down and ran at him tackling him to the ground and used my nature element to tie his arms down as I punched him. He broke free of the vines and then punched me in the face, making me let go of him and stagger back. He then started throwing out some roundhouse kicks at me backing me into a corner. I felt my foot hit the tree root and I mimicked what Connor had done before using the root to propel myself. I did a flip and kicked him in the back of the head making it hit the tree and spun around and kicked him in the back making him fall to the ground.

        Then I finally drew back my fist and hit him hard and made him pass out. I then grabbed my bow and quiver and shouldered them and ran back to camp clutching my right arm which was bleeding constantly.  

             As soon as I entered camp I yelled Connors name. “CONNOR?” 

        “Calm down with the shouting, I have a headache.” Connor said as he exited his tent. “What do you-“ his eyes then widened as he got a good look at you. “What happened?” 

           “Arnu happened.” I almost collapsed but caught myself. “Sorry I didn't bring back any meat. I'll go out again if you need me too.” 

        “Forget about the meat. Just sit down and patch yourself up. 

           “I'll try but my left side is kinda useless.” I said as I stumbled to grab the medkit from my saddle bag. I ended up tripping on a branch and falling on my already bruised head. “Ow.” I got up and grabbed the medkit and winced as I cleaned my wound and bandaged it. I then walked over to Connor and sat down next to him. After a moment a look of realization crossed my face. “I’m sorry I haven't made you anything I'm sure you're hungry.”  I said as I started to get up.

        “Sit back down. I’m fine. Focus on yourself right now.” 

            “No I have to ah- take care of you.” I said standing up. 

        “Sit. Down. Now. You can’t take care of anyone in that condition, so if you want to take care of me, take care of yourself.” 

               I ignored him and walked to the edge of camp and put my left hand into the air and made a closing fist motion as soon as I did a large bulb-like plant enclosed the camp but still leaving enough room for us and our things. I then stepped out of it, cutting a small hole for me to walk through and took off the responders that made me turn invisible and put them on the bulb and turned on the invisibility.  I formed a large basin like a leaf to hold stuff  then walked to the river and using my water element formed a large sphere of water and walked back inside and filled the leaf with it. I closed the hole I made behind me and sat down exhausted. “There we should be okay now.” 

        “What was the point of that? This camp was hidden already, you know. You need to rest, not try to overwork yourself. Especially since you’re still injured.” 

           “Yes it's hidden but knowing Arnu he’ll use Vega to come and search for this so it's just a precaution.” I said walking over and touching his forehead which felt a little less hot but still very warm. I sighed and opened the medkit and tore off a piece of bandage and wet it from the leaf basin and handed it to him. “Go lay down and put this on your head. I'll keep guard over camp while you rest.” 

           “No. You just got attacked. I’m not going to sit around. I’ll set up wire traps.” 

           “You're sick, you need to rest or you'll only get sicker. I'll handle this.” 

           “And you need to rest or your wounds will get worse. Still here you are, not resting. Also, I know I make it look easy, but you can’t set up my wire system for me.” 

         “Yeah because my wounds are manageable your getting sicker the longer you stay out here! And we don't need traps!”

           “And we didn’t need the plant bubble, yet here we are. I’m not resting until you’re resting, and that’s final.”

           “Fine then we don’t need it? I'll get rid of it.” I said walking outside and grabbing my tech and putting it back on my armor. I then thrust my arm into the air and made a pulling motion and it all went back into the ground. “There and I'm not resting until the sun goes down. You need to rest more. Stop being stubborn.” 

           “I’ll rest when you rest, and that’s final.” Connor repeats.

            “Ugh fine.” I say sitting down and slumping against a tree. I mutter under my breath. “I was doing it because I care about you. You big idiot.” 

           “Well, you shouldn’t care about me. I know a lot about you, and that gives me reason to care about you, but be honest, what do you know about me?” 

              “Well, I know for starters that you've probably had a rough past. I know you're guarded and stubborn, kind, caring and most of the time you're hiding who you really are from me. That's about it.”

            “Exactly. You have no reason to care about me, so why?” 

            “I think you're mistaken, those are all reasons why I do care. I know you've probably had a rough past and I want to help you with that someday if you'd ever let me. I also consider you a friend and I don't abandon friends.” 

            “Well, if I told you my past, you’d abandon me, so you’re helping me with that never, but whatever. You’re resting a bit now, so I’ll keep my word, just stop with the needlessly pushing yourself.” 

           “Alright, I’d never abandon you because of your past.” I paused for a moment before going on. “I do hope we can be friends someday. Even after graduation I mean. Come sit, you said you’d rest.” I said gently and patted the ground next to me.

            “I’ll rest in my tent.” Connor says before starting to walk to his tent. 

           ¨I'm gonna try to make something.¨ I said, grabbing  medicinal herbs from near the stream. 

    I sighed and went and looked at the stream for about an hour before returning to near his tent. I then move to grab the medicinal herbs I got earlier from the stream. I boil the water and then throw the herbs in the pot and turn to see the sun starting to set in brilliant colors of gold and orange.

I got to my saddle bag and grabbed some bread and drew my katana and sliced it and sat down and stared at the now simmering soup. ¨Ugh I'm really tired.¨ After placing a bowl of soup outside Connor´s tent I turned and retired to bed. 

I got up early before the sun and grabbed some mint that was growing beside the stream. I heated up some water and placed the mint in once it was steeped enough I set it gently outside on a log near Connor´s tent. I then grabbed a cup for myself and sat down enjoying the peacefulness of the early morning.

¨I´m gonna do some training, my arms feeling a lot better. Connor, you want to come watch?¨

“I’ve been unable to move for a while. I’m not watching. You’re getting actual practice in.” Connor says as he stands up and pockets his daggers. 

¨And what the heck do you think you´re doing?¨ I said standing up and grabbing my own daggers and throwing them into a bag with some other training gear. I also grabbed my bow and quiver and put both on my back. 

“What it sounds like I’m doing. Giving you a sparring opponent.” 

¨No, I'm not going to fight you. It wouldn't be fair with you still sick.”

“You think so? I can handle you.¨

I glared at him and crossed my arms. ¨Really?¨ 

Connor looks at you, unfazed. “Really. I need to move around, and you need more than to shoot an arrow at a tree.”

I sigh. ¨Just… be careful okay?” I mutter underneath my breath. ¨You don't know how worried I was when you were sick.¨ 

“I’m fine. Besides, you have yet to beat me.” 

¨And it's unlikely that I ever will. But let's go.¨  I said, shouldering my bag. 

“You need confidence. Anyway, is your arm good? I need to know now if I need to be careful.” 

¨Dunno lemme look.¨ I said tugging at the bandage that I had wrapped around the wound. It came off and it looked slightly reddish but a lot better than before. ¨Mmm should be fine.¨ I said, tying a fresh bandage on top of it. ¨

¨That's good.¨

¨Anyways shouldn't we get going?¨ 

 “Let's go.” Connor just shrugs and starts walking. I sigh and start walking after him. “Hey wait for me.” I say half sprinting to catch up.”

Connor continues walking, but slows down a little bit to let me catch up. 

          “I sure hope I'm better than last time.” I joke. 

“We’ll see.” Connor replies back. 

        We reach the training area and I drop my gear and reach for my gloves and slide them on and sweep my hair back into a ponytail and switch to my katanas and take up a fighting stance. “Ready when you are.”

Connor pulls out six of his daggers, and lets four of them dangle above the ground, only stopping because of the wires on them, while he holds the other two and gets into a fighting stance. “Your move, and don’t go easy.” 

I smile and rush forwards knocking him off his feet and go for a slash on his face. Connor moves to block it. As he blocks, the daggers that were dangling move in a similar motion as his arm to try to hit me. I take a step back to avoid the daggers and go for a slash on his arm but I miss and stumble backwards for a split second. 

        Connor takes the moment to trip me fully, and slams his elbow into my chest so I hit the ground hard before taking a couple of steps backwards. I stand up winded and catch my breath for a moment before slipping my bow off my back and shooting a couple of arrows that pin him to a nearby tree.

           I then go near him and manage to get in a couple of well aimed punches and kicks. Connor then headbutts me, then wraps a wire around me, kicks me in the stomach, and pulls me in closer to knee me in the stomach before breaking the arrow pinning him to the tree, and hitting me in the face with the hilt of one of his daggers.  

       I step back and drop my katanas and hold one hand up the other on my stomach. “...ok you've proved your point.” I said stumbling forward before almost hitting the ground.

Connor sighs as he puts his daggers away before helping you stand up. “... Alright then. Let’s stop before I hurt you any more.” 

           “Mm so you do care?” I joke as I try to walk back to camp.

“Of course I do. Why wouldn’t I?” 

            “I don't know, maybe cause… nevermind. Let's just go home.” 

“Because of what?” Connor says as he starts to step in front of me. 

            “Nothing…” I said sidestepping and heading back to camp.

            “We’re not playing this game.” Connor says before stepping in front of you again. “Talk.” 

            “It's just sometimes it's hard to tell if… well if we're actually friends or not. I mean it's kinda hard to tell and sometimes I feel like you don't want to be friends with me?...I guess.” I said quickly the words tumbling out of my mouth before I could stop them and I turned away.

            “Oh. Then say that next time. I want to, it’s just that the risks that come with being my friend are too many for you to handle.” 

            “And how do you know that? I will stand by you through whatever happens. I won't just abandon you.” 

            “I know you can’t handle them because you can’t beat me. Not even close, and my problems are worse than me.”

¨That's not fair! I don't care how bad they are or if they beat me up! You think I care about whether or not I get hurt? I will heal. I care more about you but you never seem to understand that!¨ I say with a hurt look on my face. ¨I wish you would understand that. Maybe I´m not strong enough to beat you! So what?! I care about you and your problems!¨  

            “I don’t think you understand. You won’t get beat up, you’ll get killed.” 

¨Then why…¨ I didn't finish my sentence but turned and walked the other way from camp. ¨Then just leave me here.¨ 

            Connor then walks up to you, and slaps you in the face. “How many times do I need to tell you? I’m not leaving you. Quit bringing it up.” He says before walking into his tent. 

I go to sit by the fire and stare into it. ¨I wish I was stronger then. Maybe I could have a chance if I was stronger but I know even then you wouldn't let me help.¨ I stand up with a determined look on my face and trudge off to the training area and spend a couple weeks training and head back stained with sweat. I drop my bag and grab some water before getting ready to head out but something stops me. ¨What.¨ I ask my tone flat. 

            “Where are you going?” Connor responds. “Don’t say nowhere.” 

       “To train.” I said grabbing my gear bag and walking off to the training area again.

            “Why? You shouldn’t be pushing yourself like this and you know it.” 

            “I don't care and I'm not going to stop.” 

            “You should care, and I’m making you stop. This is ending in one of two ways. None of them will end in the way you want. Might as well pick the nicer option.”

¨You said you know I can´t handle the problems that come with being your friend because I can´t beat you. So why do you think I'm pushing myself?¨ I said turning around to look at him. 

            “And I’m telling you now. Don’t push yourself.” 

¨I…¨ I looked down at the ground for a minute before looking back up at him. ¨I… can´t.¨ 

            “What do you mean you can’t?” 

¨What I said. I can´t.¨ 

            “Just stop. Don’t make me stop you.”  

¨I am doing this because I… want to be able to fight with you. Connor, I… I don't want you to have to do this alone anymore. I´m not going to stand by and watch you get hurt by whoever is trying to hurt you.” 

            Connor sighs, and crosses his arms. “Look, my problems are my own. You don’t know anything about them. Stop trying to kill yourself with training.” 

¨So what if I don't know anything about them? I still want to help! And I´m not trying to kill myself with training.¨ 

            “Then answer this. What do you think happened for me to have those problems? For all you know, I did something really bad. Leave it, and quit pushing yourself to train.” 

¨How do you know I didn't do something really bad either?¨ 

            “You told me, remember? And before you say you lied, you’re horrible at lying, and you’d have to be putting on a really good performance to fool me.”

¨I… I´m going home. And not this home. I mean my actual home. I know they dont love me and they won't accept me but at least.. at least I'll have somewhere to be. Where I don't cause trouble for you or anyone else. It's either with them or in the Arena.¨ 

            “Ok, when exactly did I say you were causing trouble? Can you stop with the pity and think for two seconds! I don’t want you training for no reason on a problem I can handle, got that? So walk back to camp, and pull yourself together, or I’m knocking you out and dragging you myself!” 

¨I´m not going back.¨ Connor stepped forward and was going to punch me but I caught his fist and wrenched his arm behind his back and then let go and drew a katana slashing his arm. 

Connor sighs, and closes his eyes for a moment. “… Fine. I guess we’re doing it the hard way. Don’t blame me when you wake up in the morning.” Connor then rushes forward as he opens his eyes, and almost stabs my arm with two of his daggers. I step to the side and look closely at the training area and see wires everywhere. 

Connor then spins around and kicks me in the stomach before backing up a few feet, and pulling out two more daggers. I grunt and stop to catch my breath before sheathing my katanas and ramming into him at full force and stepping back a couple feet away. As I back up, I notice wires too late as he pulls me forward and knees me in the face before making me hit the ground face first. I push myself off the ground, my face bleeding and wipe the blood out of my eyes before noticing the wires behind me and use them to jump up and kick Connor in the face and then move behind him and kick him in the back. 

Connor stumbles forward, but then catches himself. “…You’re really determined to leave huh. Fine. I’ll take you seriously.” As he says that, the wires around the training ground start moving around rapidly, causing some to hit me with surprising force. I stand there bleeding for a minute and try to decide what to do next. I then grab my own dagger and toss it into the moving wires and they slow down by just a fraction. ¨I´m not determined to leave. I just want to show you that I can actually do better than you think.¨ I said, backing into a tree and using it to leap over a couple of the wires and stand in front of him. ¨I was never actually going to go.¨ I said before slashing him in the face with my other dagger. 

Connor leans back to dodge most of the slash, and swings his dagger upwards to cut me before two more wires move and slam me backwards. I stagger back to my feet but nevertheless ready myself for another hit by this point there's a small pool of blood at my feet. “Stop this. Now. Don’t make me keep going.” Connor says as most of the nearby wires begin to surround me, blocking me from reaching him. 

“Why not? You clearly don't believe me yet?” I say as I move forward and unsheathe my katana to try and break some of the wires. “...what, are you worried about me? I'm fine.”  

“I will warn you now. You cut a single wire, you’re waking up with a nasty headache, and several cut wounds. You’re already losing too much blood. Quit being stubborn, and stop this.” 

I put away my katana and stare him dead in the eyes. “Then let me help you.”

Connor sighs, and looks at you. “I’m not involving anyone else in my problems again. That’s too much of a risk.” 

“Then I'm not going to stop fighting.” 

Connor sighs again, and makes his wires stop moving. “One last chance. Know when to give up.” I can see the wires start vibrating as if ready to move again at any moment. 

      I get ready to fight but then everything goes black and I fall forward onto the ground. When I woke up again, the sun was setting, and stars were starting to peek into the sky. My arms and legs were bandaged, though I still felt battered and bruised. I look around, and find Connor sitting near his tent working on his gear. ¨…thanks. Sorry I'm so stubborn.¨ I said starting to stand up but a jolt of pain made me stagger. I waited for a minute and it passed and I very carefully and slowly made my way towards the stream. 

Connor looked at you, and put his gear back on his arm. “Next time, when I tell you to stop, listen the first time.”

¨I still haven't earned your respect have I?¨ I asked scooping up some water and drinking from the stream. 

“Pushing yourself for no reason won’t do that. Knowing when you’ve reached your limits, and when to push past them will do that.” 

¨Mm well, I'm an idiot then.¨ I said standing up and lifting my bow and quiver onto my back and starting to walk out of camp.

Connor sighs and stands up. “Can we not do this again? Rest.” 

¨Can´t gotta get some food for us or we´ll starve. I´m just hunting relax.¨ 

“No. You’re not. I already did. Now sit down, and rest. I’m really not eager to do this song and dance again.” 

¨I was going to hunt. But okay if that's what you want.¨ I said sitting back down. ¨Y´know you can't protect me forever right?¨ 

“I know that, and that’s not what I’m doing. I’m making sure you don’t reopen your wounds by trying to run off into the forest again.” 

¨Man I hate myself…¨ I said sighing and sat down leaning against a tree. 

“And why is that?” 

¨Cause I know we´ll have to split up when this is all over and I don't want that.¨

“And that makes you hate yourself why? Also why bring that up now?”

¨Hm? Oh its not just that its other stuff as well. Cause I´ve been thinking about it.¨ I said glancing at him for a second before turning my gaze to the stars.

“Are you going to explain the other stuff, or no?” 

¨Depends do you want to be here all night or no?¨

“Quit stalling and talk, or just say I don’t want to talk about it.” 

¨…I don´t want to talk about it?¨ 

“Ok then. I’m getting rest.” Connor says before stepping inside of his tent. 

“Night.” I said heading to my hammock and climbing in. 

The next day I woke up really early just as dawn was spreading it's orange and pink rays across the sky. I got of the hammock and was going to make food when another jolt of pain shot through me reminding me I wasn't quite healed yet. I then moved and sat down on a log and started sharpening my katanas. 

I heard Connor moving around and then saw him come out of his tent. “Why are you up so early?”

“I could ask you the same question.” 

“Didn't sleep well. You?”

“Thought you were going to try to run off again.” 

“Really? I couldn't go anywhere while I'm still like this.” I said, gesturing to my bandages.

“You still would’ve tried.” Connor says as he moves to the fire. 

¨No, I wouldn't have.¨ 

Connor just shrugs and nods his head. 

I sigh and just look up at the sky. ¨Y’know some days I just don't know what the heck you're thinking. Sometimes it's like I don't even know you.¨

“Good. The less you know about me, the better.” 

¨That's not what I…. fine be distant whatever.¨ 

“Ok.” Connor says before grabbing a stick and throwing it into the fire.

¨I´m going for a walk I need to think.¨ I said standing up and grabbing my katanas.

“You just said you’re too injured to try to run off.” 

¨I´m going for a walk. Not trying to run off.¨

“You’re leaving camp by yourself for an unknown amount of time. You do realize that every time you get ambushed it’s because you leave camp alone right?” 

¨I didn't say you couldn't come with.¨ 

¨Anyways I'm going now so well see you later.¨ I said turning and walking out of camp. 

Connor sighs and stands up to start following me. “You really need to hold still for a day or two. 

I turn and glance at him over my shoulder before turning away so he can´t see me start to shake. A minute later a tear hits the ground and then another until I'm sobbing. 

I close my eyes and this time I see ten year old me and John playing I get hurt but then John runs over and helps me to our house and bandages my knee and takes care of me. 

Connor walks next to me, and looks at me with concern. “What’s wrong? What happened?” 

¨I… just had another flashback and- and it…¨ 

“It did what? Why did the flashback trigger?” 

             “It… it showed my older brother taking care of me but I.. don't know what triggered it. I said falling to my knees. 

             Connor sits down next to me, and looks at me. “You’ll be fine. Just take deep breaths.”

            I sit there and take big gulps of air and slowly I start to stop crying until eventually it stops all the way.  “I'm… sorry.” 

             “Stop apologizing for no reason. You’re fine.” 

           “Thanks, it means a lot to me that your here.”

             “You’d be just fine without me. Now let’s head back to camp.” Connor says as he starts to stand up. 

            “I know but I'd miss you.” I said softly almost underneath my breath. ¨I´m going to stay here and explore for a bit. I´ll be back in a little while.¨ I said standing up and walking in the opposite direction.

             Connor sighed and turned around. “No, you’re not. We’re heading back to camp. You just had a panic attack, you shouldn’t be wandering around.” 

I sighed and glanced over my shoulder at him for a minute before turning fully around. ¨Look I just want to explore a bit. Besides it helps me calm down when I am able to walk in calm places like this ok?¨ I paused and then seeing the concern on his face continued. ¨I promise you I´ll be careful if it makes you feel better you can come with me.¨ I said and leaned against a tree to wait for his response. 

            Connor eventually sighs and turns around to walk to camp. “Anything happens, you’re dealing with it.” 

I smile and turn around and walk the other way. I walked about thirty miles out of the area until I heard rushing water and I stopped and followed it for another couple of miles until I came upon a large clearing in the forest and at the top there was a waterfall cascading down from the top of a sheer cliff. It was beautiful with small fishes swimming in the pool below and the water gurgling softly. It was surrounded by various flowers like hibiscus, and lilies and some other lush greenery. 

I stayed there for a while, my feet dangling in the water until the sky lit up in a beautiful sunset of pinks, oranges and yellow. I then headed back to camp. It took me about two hours but even then I still had the biggest smile on my face. I looked around for Connor but I didn't see him so I softly called his name.  ¨Connor.¨ 

            “What is it?” Connor asked from a makeshift hammock above his tent.  

¨Oh I´m sorry I didn´t know you were sleeping I'll tell you tomorrow.¨ I said, looking away and heading for my own hammock. 

            “I’m already up. Tell me now, or I’m not listening later.” 

¨Ok, I saw the most beautiful place today. It had a huge waterfall and there was lush greenery and a stream and flowers and it was just… amazing.¨ I said, my voice filled with awe. 

            “Sounds interesting.” Connor says with a half yawn as he gets out of his hammock, and retracts the wires he was using to make it.  

¨What are you doing?¨ 

            “I’m going inside my tent. Why does it matter?”

          “I was just asking goodnight.” I said settling into my hammock. I woke up in the middle of the night gasping for air. I had a nightmare about everyone I knew disappearing. Everyone was strewn on the ground and bleeding out and Arnu was standing over them smiling.  I had it before so I quietly got up and started the fire and stared into it. Eventually I was able to fall back asleep but I again woke up at dawn.

          “Why are you still up? Go to bed.” Connor said as he walked next to me. 

¨Um it's the morning? Also I couldn't sleep.¨ I said, shivering for a moment we remembering the dream. 

          “Still too early to be up. Go to bed.”

¨No, I wouldn't be able to sleep anyways.¨

          “Bed, and quit being stubborn. You know you need rest.” 

¨I´m not going to bed.¨ 

          “You need the rest.” 

¨I´m okay.¨

          “Listen, you need sleep. I need sleep. We’re both sleeping one way or another, and you won’t like option two of how I get you to sleep.” 

¨Fine.¨ I said walking over to my hammock and climbing in. The next day I got up was about nine o'clock in the morning.  

        I got up and made some food and soon the aroma was wafting around camp.  I was wearing different clothes today instead of my usual armor and had a blue t-shirt on with some jeans and my hair was tied back in a messy bun. I sat there and closed my eyes imagining the waterfall and opened my eyes with a peaceful smile appearing on my face. I heard footsteps behind me and turned my head to see Connor.

¨Hey.¨ 

“Hi.” Connor said as he yawned before looking at the food.

¨Do you want some food?¨ I asked standing up and moving to get some. I grabbed some and put it on a flat stone. ¨Here.¨ I said, holding it out and smiling.

Connor takes the food before sitting down, and beginning to eat. “Is something wrong with your armor? You’re wearing something different.” 

¨Hm? What?¨ I glanced down at the clothes I was wearing. ¨Oh sorry, yeah I actually was going to do some maintenance on it.” I said a concerned frown replacing my smile. 

“What’s wrong with it? I can take a look at it if you need me to.” 

¨Yeah that would help. I don't actually know what's wrong with it. It's just that the gauntlets are a bit slow on running. I want to conduct some tests first. Could you help me with them?¨ I said standing up and grabbing the shoulder and hand armor and putting it on. 

“What kind of tests?” Connor says before stuffing his face with the food that he has, and standing up. 

¨I need to test the shields so basically I need you to come at me. Also I need to run aiming tests in high pressure scenarios, and the responsive qualities of my signal.¨ 

“Ok, but what does aiming and reaction time have to do with your armor?”  

¨The gauntlets are a part of my armor. They all run on the same network so I might need to fix some bugs in it. Also it's just a part of my general maintenance. If you have other things to do I can run them myself.¨ I said, turning away and walking away from camp.

“I just said I was helping you. I was just asking what specifically do you need my help with.” 

¨Basically I need you to create a high pressure situation in which I need to react well and that tests my armor.¨ I said, grabbing the rest of my armor and putting that on. I then swung up into the saddle of my horse and waited for Connor to get on his horse. ¨I assume you can do that.¨ I said jokingly. 

“Yes, I can do that. I think you’re still recovering from the last time I did that. Anyways, where are we going? Why do we need the horse?” 

¨Cause, we need to be in a location where things don't catch on fire.¨ There's a more isolated place a few miles out.” I said pushing my horse into a walk. 

“Wait, why? I don’t use fire.” Connor said as he walked to his horse. 

¨I use fire, that's why we are moving. Let's go.¨ 

Connor sighs, and packs a few more things from his tent before returning to his horse and looking at me ready to follow me. 

I pushed my horse into a gallop and about twenty minutes later we were there. I hopped down from my horse and stood there for a moment and nodded. ¨First test shields. I need you to attack me.¨ Connor then pulls out two of his daggers, and throws both of them at half speed. 

I slammed on my gauntlets but they took too long and I had to side step. ¨Well that clears up the shield test.¨ I sighed and put my head in my hands for a moment. ¨This is gonna take forever to repair and figure out what's wrong. Alright next is aiming in high pressure situations. Go ahead.¨ I said nodding to him. 

“How high pressure do you want it to be?” Connor says as he retracts his two daggers, and pulls out some of the wiring to hold in his hand. 

¨Use your ability please.¨ I said water weaving around my hand and arm. 

Connor looks at you with concern for a moment before sighing. “Alright then.” Connor then throws out the wires, and uses his daggers to pin them into rocks, creating a spider web-like design around you. He then throws three more daggers at the wires, and the daggers start bouncing off the wires heading towards you.

I sigh and aim the winding water over the wires but it does not reach high enough. I turn invisible and look all around closely and see all the wires everywhere. I then turn back. ¨Ënough please. I've figured out the problem.¨ I said once the wires stopped I took off my armor and laid it on a log and walked a couple feet away a stressed and concerned look on my face. 

“Alright then. What’s the problem?”

¨It's me.¨ 

“And that means what exactly? Do you need therapy?” 

¨What? No. I just… need to do a couple things.¨ I said putting on a smile even though I wasn't feeling it. I muttered underneath my breath. ¨Well at least I hope this works.¨ 

“Hope what works? What things do you need to do? Quit being vague.” 

I shrug and walk off to sit underneath a tree heat radiating from me. I then curl up into a small ball. Connor looks at her with concern, and sits down where he’s at. “Um, are you ok? Are you going through another flashback?” 

I groan and curl up even tighter and press my head against the rock which is surprisingly nice and cool. 

“Ok, what are you doing? Can you still speak? Are you poisoned? Can you tell me in the slightest what is wrong?” 

            “Nothing is wrong it’ll- ah pass.” I said curling up even tighter.

            “So you're telling me it’s normal for you to randomly curl up into a ball, and lay your head on random rocks while sounding like you’re in pain?” 

            “Yeah, this is completely normal.” 

            “Prove it then. Stand up. If this is normal, then you should be able to stand up with no issues.” 

       “Okay.” After a moment she manages to stand up without shaking.

            “Ok then. Now, should we head back to camp? We’ve done all that we needed to do after all.” Connor said as he crossed his arms. 

¨Ah- ow.¨ I said, falling over and curling back up into a ball. 

            “Thought so.” Connor said as he walked next to you. “Alright then. Tell me what’s really wrong with you.” 

            “I'm sick.” I said, groaning again. 

            “Alright then.” Connor says as he walks away for a moment, and returns with the horses before helping you up onto your horse, and using wires to make sure you don’t fall. 

          When they got back to camp I staggered and almost ran into a tree and collapsed on the ground. Connor walks next to me and helps me to the fire. “ So, talk. How long have you been sick?”

         “Ummm… promise not to kill me if I say for how long?”

            “Depends on how long you’ve been sick.”

            “Uh… seventy two hours.” I said nervous. 

            “I’m sorry, and you told no one WHY!” Connor said as he stood up. “You of all people should know better!” 

            “First of all, what are you, my dad? Second of all because I knew you'd act like this and not let me do things I have stuff to do. It's not that bad.”

            “Call me a dad again, and you’ll be more than sick, and I’m only acting like this because you think it’s a good idea to hide the fact that you’re sick! Do you ever think!?” 

I sighed. ¨Yeah I do actually, maybe I just wanted to actually be treated like an adult.¨ I said, glancing down at the ground, my head kind of drooping. ¨…sorry I'm an idiot i´ll tell you next time.¨ 

            “You want to be treated like an adult? Act like one, now stay here so I can get water.” Connor said before turning to his horse, and grabbing some water bottles to refill. 

I sighed and put my head in my hands and curled up again like that mad at myself and ashamed. Eventually Connor comes back with three bottles of water. He sets one next to you. “Drink some. Now.” 

I remained like that and didn't move. Connor sighs and then looks at you. “This is ending in two ways. Either way, you're drinking water.  Don’t make me be the bad guy for a minute.” 

I sighed and grabbed the water bottle and drank a little from it. ¨….life sucks.¨ I said before putting my head down like an exhausted little kid. 

            “You’re telling me. Now keep drinking water.” Connor says as he sets down the other two water bottles. 

I didn't answer but instead grabbed the water bottle and drank some more. ¨I… have Asha disease. I´ll get better after a while.¨ 

            “Are those even real words? What’s Asha disease?”

           “First of all, yes they are. Asha disease happens in wooded areas like these and can be transmitted through a bug bite. It's a lot like the flu but it takes a while to recover.¨

            “Then focus on getting better, and drink water.”

¨I don't want to. I don't have the energy.¨ 

            “Quit being lazy and drink. You have a robot hand. Use it.”

I sigh and drink some more from the bottle. ¨Happy now?¨

            “Yes. That wasn’t so hard now was it.” 

¨No, I´m just hungry. There any food?¨

            “You would know better than me.” 

            “I don't know, I'm really tired. Can you go hunting while I rest?”

            “Sure. Actually rest though. And drink water.” 

I sigh. ¨I will, go hunt now please.¨ 

            “That’s what I’m doing. Be patient.” Connor says before walking into the forest. 

I got up and moved to my hammock and closed my eyes, falling into a light sleep. 

            After several hours, Connor comes back with a deer and a rabbit.  

I woke up when I heard him come back into camp. ¨Hey.¨ 

            “Hi. Did you rest?”

¨Yeah, I did. It wasn't very helpful though.¨

            “Uh huh. Sure. Anyway, I brought meat.” Connor says as he sets the dead animals down. 

¨Yeah I saw, thanks. What else did you do? You were gone for a while and it usually doesn't take that long to hunt?¨ 

            “You have a bow. I do not. I have to get closer than you.” 

            “Ok.” I said putting my head against a log and letting out a long groan. “Can you hand me the medkit please?” 

            “Sure. What for?” Connor says as he walks towards his gear. 

          “I need an ice pack.” 

            “You’d probably have to settle with cold water. It’s not cold enough for the ice to stay ice.” 

           “It's fine. I'll be okay, just leave it.” I said standing up a bit shakily.

           “Sit back down. There's still some ice left.” Connor says as he tosses a bag full of ice to me. 

I catch it and give a brief smile. ¨Thanks. You don't have to stay with me all this time though you could go train.¨ 

“And risk you running off? No way.” 

           “I'm not going to run off, I'm too sick. Besides, you don't need to always watch over me.” 

           “Uh huh. Sure.” 

¨Just go train or something.¨ 

           “Why do you want me to leave so badly? It’s kind of suspicious that you care so much about me leaving, you know.” Connor says as he leans against a tree, and crosses his arms. 

¨I´m tired and I´d like to be alone.¨

           “Then go into your tent. That’s not enough of a reason to try to kick me out of camp.” 

I sighed and put my head against the log. ¨Fine you can stay. Just don't try to make me do stuff okay?¨ 

“The only thing I’m going to make you do is eat and drink water, now quit acting like you don’t want me here.” 

I groaned and smiled. ¨I´m never gonna get rid of you, am I? You just care too much about me.¨ I teased. 

“And you don’t seem to care enough about yourself.”  

¨That doesn't mean you have to take care of me.¨ 

“That’s exactly what that means. You want to get yourself in danger, go ahead, but someone has to bail you out.” 

¨No, I don't have to be bailed out. I´ve lived alone for… nine years now and I've fended for myself just fine. I don't need another liability to look after me.¨ I said standing up and trying to walk past him.

Before I could walk past, his hand reached out and grabbed my arm, making it hurt within seconds before looking at me with a look that put fear directly into my eyes. “… You ever call me a liability again, and I’ll make sure you become one.”  

I blink at him for a second before wrenching my arm free. ¨Alright, it´ll make no difference to me. I already am a liability to you. After all, you won´t tell me anything.¨ I said shrugging and continuing to walk away. ¨Guess I´ll just do you the favor of getting rid of one less person to deal with.¨ I called over my shoulder my expression grim. 

“Quit trying to run off. Seriously, do you think? You’re sick. Rest, not try to run away from me again. The moment you’re better, I’ll leave. Happy then?” Connor says as he steps in front of me. 

¨Are you crazy? This isn't about me. Connor…. You're the reason I work harder, train harder than I ever have. You´re the first person to care for me in nine years. The last thing I want is for you to leave. You want to know why I ran off? It's because all this time I thought maybe we were friends. But no matter what, no matter how hard I tried to prove myself you never gave me a chance.¨ I shoved past Connor and ran into the forest, tears streaming down my cheeks and fell to my knees in the heart of the forest just as rain started to fall and envelop the world.  

The rain was chilling and it soaked me to the core but it was nothing compared to the heartache I felt. What is this I thought? I have never felt anything like this before. I sat up and curled up in a small crook of a tree to warm up. Eventually, Connor walks up to me and crouches down until we are eye to eye. “Remember when you said you don’t run off? You’re in no condition to run off, and I’m sure I’m not that horrible to be around. Quit doing this and let’s head back.” 

I look up at him shivering and shake my head no. I tuck my head back into the crook of the tree I was in. 

Eventually Connor sighs and stands up. “Fine. Keep throwing a tantrum.” Connor then walks away, leaving me alone.

After about an hour I stood up and walked back to the place with the waterfall its  peaceful gurgling of the crystal clear pool below the cascading waterfall soothing me. I spotted a white lily growing nearby and plucked it gently and set it upon the water watching it float away. As I sat down I took off my shoes and let my feet dangle at the edge of the pool, the cool water weaving in and out from between my toes. Eventually I stood up and sighed and placed my shoes back on and began the journey back to camp.

Once I reached there I walked in with my head down expecting the usual lecture ashamed of running away. I quietly murmured to myself ¨I… can´t keep running away. It's stupid and I keep saying I won't but I do… from now on I won´t run. ….no matter how much my past haunts me no matter how much I want to escape the pain of the past.¨ I shiver as I walk into the clearing and immediately regret not packing a jacket before I set out on this whole journey. 

“Just skip the fake promise, and go grab your jacket.” 

I sighed and glanced at him and headed for my hammock. ¨I didn't pack a jacket.¨ 

“Wow. Ok then, grab your blanket, or a sleeping bag.” 

I paused mid step and pivoted on my heel. ¨I want to really talk this time, can you come with me somewhere?”

“Why can’t you just say it here? It’s going to get dark soon.” 

I'm

I laughed. ¨Just trust me please? I really want you to see this place and there's been some…. things I need to discuss with you.¨ I said playing with a strand of my hair suddenly more focused on it then anything else. 

Connor looks at you for a moment before sighing. “Fine, but quit playing games.” 

I glanced at him for a moment, searching his face for a moment before turning around and walking to my horse I gently swung up into the saddle and set off at a brisk trot. After a couple moments of silence I turned my head to look at him before looking away. About half an hour later we arrived at the place. It was beautiful at night, the already glorious waterfall reflecting  the light of the full moon as fireflies danced around the clearing. I hopped down from my horse and kicked off my shoes, my feet dangling in the water. 

¨…so I know you want to know why I ́ve been running so ask away.¨ 

“Why bring me here? There's no point in coming to a pond. What do you really need?” 

¨I need you to tell me what happened to you.¨ 

“You know I can’t tell you that.” 

I sighed and turned to look at him, my gaze sad. ¨Why can't you? If I work hard enough I know I could be of some use to you all I want is to help you. You do tru-¨ 

“Yes, I trust you, which is why I can’t tell you. I can handle my issues myself, and I don’t like talking about it. Quit bringing it up.”  

¨I know you can handle it but I wish you would at least let me be your friend. I won't ask you to tell me your story. I´ll wait for as long as you like, just please let me be a friend to you.¨ I said softly looking at him, my eyes silently pleading with him. 

“We are friends, but I’m not telling you my story. Last person I told stabbed me in the back. I’m taking no chances.”

¨I would never do that to you. I wouldn't betray your trust in me like that. Whoever did that was a jerk and they didn't deserve your kindness and friendship.¨ I say my gaze turning hard with anger for a moment. I then looked away as my gaze was filled with sadness once again. 

“Like I said, I’m taking no chances, and you shouldn’t be involved in my problems anyway.” 

¨I want to be involved in your problems.¨ 

“No, you don’t.” 

           “Yes I do, how many times do I have to tell you I want to help you.” 

           “And how many times do I have to tell you I can handle it myself.” 

I stood up and crossed my arms and looked him dead in the eyes. ¨I never said you couldn't. Would it be so hard to trust me enough to let me help you?¨ 

“There’s no point in getting you involved. Now quit asking. I’m not involving you.” Connor then turned around and started back to camp. 

¨You know, you say you trust me but it really makes me wonder if you actually do when you won´t tell me your story much less let me help.¨ I said standing up and falling into step with him. ¨But I won't push you. You can tell me on your own time. I´m going to go hunt. You coming with?¨

“No. you’re going to keep asking about my past if I go with.” He says before continuing to walk to camp. 

          I ran in front of him and looked at him. “I promise I won't.” I then stumbled and almost fell to the ground.

“Uh huh. In any case. I’m still heading back to camp. Good luck hunting.” He then steps around me and continues walking. 

           I carefully stand up and make my way back to camp slowly and grab a blanket from my saddlebag and head to sleep. The next morning I have a really bad headache so I don't get up for a while. When I do get up I notice Connor’s not in camp. “Where are you?” I call.

“Look up.” As I did, I saw him standing on a wire about twenty feet in the air. “What is it?” 

           “It was nothing, sorry.” 

“You sure?” He says as he crouches down, and inspects the wire he’s standing on. 

            I stop walking for a moment and then resume it. “Yeah… it's fine.” I said walking over to a tree and bringing my knees to my chest and placing my head on top of them.

“You know you’re bad at lying right?” Connor says as he climbs down using his wires before retracting them. He then hands you a water bottle. “Drink up. You need to.” 

            I glance at him for a second and then take the bottle and downing the whole thing before returning to stare straight ahead of me. 

                I had just walked home from school and stepped inside my house and saw my parents giving me funny looks. “What? It's me Jewel.” “We don't know who you are. I think you must've mistaken us for someone else.” They said together and I turned and ran out the door. 

         “We don't know who you are.” It echoed in my mind, tormenting me silently. If I had only been good enough or worked harder or tried harder and not run away then they might still know me. I thought my face turning sad. 

  “Alright, what traumatic moment, sad image, or personal wrongdoing are you thinking about this time? You look sad again.” 

I shook my head for a minute before replying. ¨It's nothing I won't get over.¨ I said, looking down at the ground. 

Connor sighs before looking at you while crossing his arms. “You know you’re a terrible liar. Start talking.” 

¨It's just another flashback.¨ I said, crossing my arms. Connor continues to look at me, not changing his expression. I sighed and the sad look returned to my face. ¨It's just I can't help thinking about the last thing they said to me. ¨We don´t know who you are.¨ If I had only worked harder maybe… maybe they'd still remember me.¨ 

“… let me ask you a question. Did you want them to lose their memories, or are you the one that did it to them?” 

I immediately stood up. ¨No, I would never want them to lose their memories! I love them, they're my family!¨ 

“Then stop acting like you caused it, because from everything that I know, you didn’t. Don’t say the whole I wasn’t good enough thing either, because punishing somebody by wiping someone else’s memories isn’t normal in the slightest.”

¨It was my fault. I should have won. If I did everything would be fine but I didn´t. So its my fault and that's one of the things I will always regret.¨ 

Connor then reaches up and smacks you. “Correct me if I’m wrong, but you are a human being correct? Guess what people are, NOT PERFECT, so quit this pity party about not being perfect, and accept the fact that you aren’t perfect.” 

¨This isn't about being perfect!”

“Every time you’ve done this, it’s always ‘I wasn’t good enough,’ even though you failed all of two times at the age of, what was it again, twelve? Get it together, and realize that the messed up institution you were a part of is in the wrong, not you!” 

¨…so I didn't do anything wrong?¨ I said slowly thinking about it. This was the first time I had realized it. ¨I guess you're right they made me do those things and it wasn't my decision. Thank you for helping me realize that.¨ I said looking at Connor with a grateful smile.  

Connor shrugs and starts to walk away. “I just stated the obvious.”

¨Where are you going?¨ 

“To fine tune my gear. Now rest.”

¨Can I come watch?¨

“You need to focus on resting, and getting rid of your sickness, not on how my gear works.” 

I sigh. ¨Alright just don´t think about me when you're working.¨ I said sitting down again near the fire. ¨I don't like it when people worry about me it makes me feel uncomfortable.¨ 

“Uh huh. Knowing how you act, I’ll worry anyway.”  He says before stepping into his tent. 

I groan and mutter to myself. ¨I´m not a little kid.¨ 

After a couple hours later Connor walks out of his tent, and sits next to the stream, filling up some water bottles. 

“Hey, how's your gear looking?”

“Don’t worry about it. Just rest and get better.” He says as he tosses you a bottle. 

             I catch it and take a sip. “I forgot to ask what were you doing earlier?” 

“You mean with my gear? I told you that already. Fine tuning.” 

            “So that's why you were up twenty feet in the air?”

“Yep. Making sure my wires aren’t bad.” 

            “Huh… you must have really good balance to stand on them.” I said a thoughtful look crossing my face. 

“Uh huh. That and practice.” 

             “Practice?” I said with a raised eyebrow.

“Don’t ask questions.” 

            “Well that isn't suspicious at all.” I said 

crossing my arms. 

“Whatever you want to believe.” Connor says as he points to the water bottle in your hand, signaling to drink. 

        I sighed and flicked my hand in his direction and a  small blue flame quickly darted near him but never touched him. Immediately a dagger lands in the water bottle you were holding. “You know better than to play around like that.” Connor says as he tosses you another water bottle.

            I smirk and snap and the water bottle cap goes flying off and I form the water from the bottle into a ball and drink from that. “Why not? I was just playing around.” I said. 

“Did you fail to notice the dagger in your old water bottle? That would’ve been your hand if you weren’t holding that. That’s why not.” 

           I smirked and then laughed. “You do know that I'm not afraid of you right?” 

“At this point your lack of fear is concerning.” 

¨It´ś mostly because were friends and I don't think you would murder me.¨ I said with a raised eyebrow.

“At this point, I might kill you by accident since you think it’s a good idea to shoot deadly flames near me for fun.” Connor said as he grabbed his dagger from the bottle. 

I shrugged. ¨Go ahead I suppose that´s a fair enough of a point.΅ Connor then sighs and sits down near his tent. 

¨I´m not going to stop you, after all I have nothing less to lose.¨ I said a sad look passing over my face.

“Stop feeling sorry for yourself all the time.” 

¨Maybe someday when I have my old life back.¨ I said, taking a sip of water.

“Good luck with that one.” 

¨Yeah, yeah I know. It's probably not going to happen. But all I can do is try right?¨Connor just looks at me and shrugs. 

¨I mean eventually I´ll have to go home and we won't see each other anymore… I mean I´m sure I'll be okay… hopefully.¨ 

“Just do what makes you happy I guess. I’m going in my tent now so you can sort yourself out.” Connor says as he steps into his tent. 

Darkness falls upon camp bringing out the twinkling stars and I sigh and lay on my back. I speak out loud to no one in particular. ¨Truth is I don't want to be alone, if only I could…¨ I let my voice trail off and continue gazing at the stars.  

         I stand up and walk near Connors tent. “Connor, can we talk?” I ask my voice soft in case he's sleeping. 

“Depends on what you want to talk about.” 

¨About what happens after this whole thing is over.¨ 

“Why do you want to talk about that now? It’s only been like a month or two since we started this whole thing.” 

¨I… nevermind.¨ 

“...Alright then.”  

I mutter softly underneath my breath. ¨I just wanted to ask if I could travel with you for a bit when this is all said and done.¨

“You need to speak up.” Connor bluntly replies.

I sighed and cleared my throat for a moment. ¨I just wanted to ask if I could travel with you for a bit when this is all said and done.¨ I said, looking away and rubbing the back of my neck.

“... Maybe. Depends on what happens here.” 

¨Okay… well I guess I know my answer then.¨ I said standing up and getting in my hammock. I got up early the next morning and stretched and grabbed my bow and quiver to start training. ¨I´m going to train Connor.¨ I said before I left and went to the training clearing. 

“No you’re not.” Connor said running after you. “You’re still sick.”  

¨Okay then I´m going hunting.¨ I said, still walking away but quickening my pace. 

“What part of you're sick did you not get from that?” Connor asked while stepping in front of me “You. Need. To. Rest.” 

I sighed. ¨I also need to do something or not being able to move is going to kill me.¨ I said, crossing my arms. 

“Then walk around camp. Don’t try to leave it.” 

¨I meant something else.¨ I said, stepping around him and continuing to walk away. 

Before I could get far, Connor tripped me, causing me to fall to the ground. “I’m not playing this runaway game again. You’re resting. Now.” 

I stood up and turned around. ¨I told you where I´m going. Also I've rested enough.¨ 

“Ah, so you’re no longer sick then I assume?” Connor said while crossing his arms. 

¨Pretty sure.¨ I said looking him straight in the eyes.

“Pretty sure leaves room for error. Not good enough. Go back to camp. You know you’re not beating me in any fight.” Connor says returning the same look you’re giving him.

I sighed, ¨Yeah but I'm a lot more stubborn than you are. I can stand here all day.¨ 

“I have other ways of getting you to move. Either way, you’re not standing here for long.” 

¨Fine then but you´re doing the hunting and everything else.¨ I said walking back to camp. 

“We still have meat from the last time I went hunting. We’re fine.” 

¨Just go do something. I´d like to be alone.¨ 

“And try to sneak out again? I’m not an idiot. I hope you know that by now.” 

I walked back into camp and turned to face him. ¨Then sit down and be quiet.¨ I said before moving to sit by the fire. 

“For your safety, don’t give me orders.” Connor replies before grabbing some of his daggers and throwing them upward into trees. 

¨I´m not afraid of getting hurt.¨ I said looking up. ¨What´are you doing up there?¨ 

“You should be afraid, and none of your concern. Now stop asking questions. I’m supposed to be quiet, remember?” 

¨I want to come up there sometime. I mean I think it´d be cool to sit in a tree or whatever.¨ I said smiling. ¨And that was uncalled for I´m sorry.¨ 

“No.” Connor says before returning to sitting in his wires, and inspecting those more. 

“You're a jerk.” Connor ignores me and continues to look at the wires before throwing out a couple more daggers into trees at the same height as him. 

I sigh and stand up and grab a rabbit from last time and skin it and shove a stick through it and put it over the fire. I stand up and walk around the edge of camp and grab some wild garlic and sprinkle a little over it. About twenty minutes later it´is finished and I grab one of my arrows and put a piece of the meat on it and start eating. I then look up for a moment and put the arrow down. ¨You hungry?¨ 

“No, I’m not.” Connor says.

¨You sure? You´ve been up there for a while.¨ I said with a concerned look. 

“Yes.” 

            “Come on please, you know I don't like it when you don't eat.” 

“I’ll eat later.” 

              I sigh. “Alright if that's what you want.” I lean back against the log and move closer to the fire as it is colder today. I shiver and bring my knees to my chest to try and warm up some more. ¨How are you not cold?¨ I say looking up yet again.