I stared at the empty seat on the couch next to me. How did she do that? She's just gone... I hope she comes back. Whoever was at the door knocked a second time pulling me out of my thought. I jumped up and went to the door. I had to stop myself when I remembered I had just been crying and I had to gather my composure.
When I finally opened the door, I saw the last person I had expected to be there. Scott Hoying.
"Hey,"
"Hey," the tension was still thick after that fight we had. I still can't believe I punched him.
"Can I come in?" He asked.
"Oh yea sure," I said letting him in. "Hey listen," I began, I knew Kit was expecting me to say sorry to him so I had to do this (even though deep down I knew I should), "I'm really sorry, man. About the other day." We looked at each other a moment before Scott opened his arms and embraced me in a hug. I felt good to know I had my friend back. It felt good to be reminded that I still had friends that were living, and maybe I should be more thankful for that.
"It's okay, and I'm sorry too. I shouldn't have said those things to you... I didn't mean to be so harsh, it's just... I miss her, man." He choked out, tears forming in his eyes. I could feel myself begin to cry again too, so I pulled him back into the hug. I was sad, but relieved to know I wasn't going through this alone. "I just can't believe she's really gone." He mumbled into my shoulder. I said nothing as he continued to cry. "I know how you felt about her, Avi." He said looking back at me. "And I'm really sorry for you."
"Thanks man." I was afraid to say too much. I didn't know if I should really talk about this "Ghost Kirstie" I knew, I might sound crazy.
"I was thinking, it might be good for the four of us he we tried to see someone, like a therapist or something." He shrugged, "I don't know, I feel like it will help us get through this... So we can at least still stay friends."
I wanted no part of that. But I did t want to disappoint him, "yea, that would probably be good for us." I agreed anyway.
"Oh! There is a reason I came over here today." He chuckled wiping his eyes. "I have to ask you something," his words reminded me that Kirstie was just about to ask something before he knocked.
"Sure, what is it?" I asked, Scott closed his eyes and took a deep breath, as if whatever he was about to tell me was very important,
"Would you... And feel free to say no!" He began,
"What is it?"
"Would you be interested in taking Olaf?" He said. I felt my eyes grow large, that was the last thing I expected him to say, I'd completely forgotten about Olaf.
"What?" I asked, shocked.
"I know! Look, Kevin's apartment won't allow for pets, Mitch and I have a cat... Jeremy doesn't want him anymore." He rolled his eyes, "he claims the dog reminds him too much of her, so he's abandoning his own pet...".
I never liked him.
I didn't know what to say, I really didn't think I could take care of Olaf, yet it wasn't very easy to say no to him...
"It's either you or a shelter... I'm sure he'll find a nice family but, it still just breaks my heart to think about that happening." He said
"Yea I know what you mean... Scott, I really don't know." I shook my head, "I don't know if I can't take care of myself, let alone a large dog."
"He's already housebroken, and well trained." Scott said, "I don't want to pressure you, but I something in me told me I should ask you." He said.
That made me wonder her Kirstie's spirit was visiting him too. It was quiet a moment while I sat and thought. "I don't need an answer right away... But soon." He sighed heading for the door. "Will you think about it?" He asked
"Of course! Yea I'll give you a call sometime about it..."
"Thanks Avi, it means a lot," he said. He shouldn't thank me yet, I don't think I can accept this offer.
We said our goodbyes and I closed the door behind him. When I turned around, I was met with Kirstie suddenly standing really close behind me.
"Oh GOD! KIRST!" I jumped, I'm not so used to this whole ghost thing yet. "Don't do that! C'mon I need a little warning if you're gonna pop in and out like that." I said catching my breath. She just stood there, eyes big and round, her bottom lip poked out, her hands clasped together... I recognized that pout.
"Kirstie, no." I sighed
"Please."
"No."
"Please Please Please Please-"
"NO!"
"PLEASE!" She whined jumping up and down, I did miss her temper tantrums, it almost made me smile to see her put up a fight like this.
"I can't do it, baby, I'm sorry!" I walked into the living room where she had somehow beat me to the couch. I wish she wouldn't do that...
"Why not?" She crossed her arms, she didn't give me a chance to answer before she begged again, "Avi, please take my baby! Please take him, he's an angel, he's the perfect pet. I would be heartbroken to see him go somewhere else with strangers. He loves you!" She pleaded.
"A dog is a big commitment and I don't think I can take care of him."
"Oh nonsense! Of course you can!"
We went back and forth like this for a while...
"I really really need you to do this for me." She said
"Are you trying to make me feel guilty?" I asked
"No," she said quietly, "I know I've made a lot of big mistakes... And know everybody had to suffer the consequences of my mistake... And this is one of them... And I'm sorry." She whispered
"Why aren't you alive anymore?" I asked her, for the hundredth time.
"Because I was suffering. And I couldn't handle anymore... Not one more day." We sat there quietly just looking into each others eyes. "Please take him." She asked again. I sat back and rubbed my hands over my face. When I opened my eyes, she had disappeared, and in her place sat my cell phone. The screen read: Calling Scott Hoying...
Shit.
I quickly picked up the phone and sure enough it was ringing. How did she do that?
Hello? I heard from the other line.
"Hey, Scott... I uh, I made a decision.

What am I doing?