Legolas lingered just beyond the grand pillared entrance to the Healing Halls watching the quiet comings and goings of the palace staff.  He had been there since dawn and it was now sometime past eleven o'clock in the morning, and still he had made no attempt to enter the dwelling.

Having been left with his father's unsolicited wisdom the night before, Legolas had been unable to rest and spent the rest of the night tossing, turning, and torturing his mind. As much as he wanted to ignore his father's ridiculous sentiments - that somehow he and his adoptive mother had a bond unbreakable - it was hard to do just that. He wanted to claw his heart out of his chest and throw it away when his thoughts swirled around the last memories he had of his Nana.

It was fragmented, too bright, flashes of events now that the horror lay in the past.

His jump had been successful, he had caught her, and somehow managed to reach the far side narrowly before most of the falling debris took out the huge chunks of stairwell and outer walls. It was not his most graceful of landings, and the jolt to the ground had caused his Naneth to tumble from his arms. She might have hit her head then, he couldn't recall, but he did remember that she was awake briefly. When he had pulled her off the ground - panicking that he would never get them safely out of the disintegrating structure in time -she had cried out for him, or at least he thought she had?

Legolas had been certain she had weakly called his name, and he had promised her then and there he would get her out safe and sound, because that was what he did...he was her little rescuer.

That is what she called him. But now that the days and weeks had dragged on, he began to wonder did he imagine it all in his mind. Had she never spoke at all? Would she ever speak again? He had heard the cries she made, he had felt her pain when he kept watch by the fortress, and now he had only wished he had been brave enough to have been quicker.

Now they wanted to take her away...but he had only just found her.

Yes, in his heart Legolas had failed. He had never been gifted and ethereal like his little sister, he had never been wise and careful like his baby brother, and he never shared the bond they did with their mother. He had never been jealous before, he had never had need to be, because he and his Nana had something special, something his siblings would never have...they had their hearts.

It was a stupid, ridiculous, childish, and completely outrageous notion, but Legolas always felt he had captured Clara's heart and she kept a special piece all for him - as he did for her. No one could ever share their story, no one would ever know the secrets she told him of the colourful lands beyond the stars where she came from...where she was sent from to look after him.

No one could ever take away the dragons they fought, the adventures they travelled on, and the bridges they built together. There was no one like his Naneth because no one had a Nana quite like his, for she had been everything and more of what he had always dreamed of in his young heart.

Once he thought he had special powers, that his imagination could make anything happen, for Clara was always able to make it happen with her pictures, her ideas, and all her wonderful stories. Now that he was grown he realised he did not have super powers, but he truly did have the love of a mother who would do everything within her ability to make him still believe he had. Now she was gone and there was nothing he could do to bring her back, he did not have the power, it was all just a beautiful illusion.

Swallowing a painful lump in his throat and wiping the tears from his eyes with his sleeve, Legolas pulled himself up straight and decided to get this over and done with.

There was no point in putting this meeting off, he needed to go and see his Naneth's condition for himself, he needed to judge for himself if Lord Elrond's suggestion had merit. Yes, he knew his Adar was totally opposing to the thought of sending her away, but the more he had mediated on the suggestion over the course of the night he understood the Healer's point of view, and, if the only reason his father hesitated was because of the hurt it would cause his children then Legolas needed to be the mature one.

He could not hold onto his Naneth if she would never be revived, it would place such a burden on his Adar and his siblings. He would let go, if that was the right decision, because maybe Clara was only to be his for a short time, maybe she had more hearts to heal elsewhere, maybe his Grandpa needed her?

Legolas liked that thought. Maybe his Grandpa had been awakened, like the elders say, and was walking in the enchanted forest's of Valinor with a saddened heart...a heart that his Naneth could certainly bring cheer to. Again these were all such immature thoughts but they were only thoughts he could allow himself to think, the only ones that didn't break his heart in two and cause him to scream his injustice over it all.

So the young prince walked calmly and gracefully through the large marble corridors of the Healing wing. He nodded his 'good-mornings' and his 'hello's' to the passing healers and servants. Occasionally some would stop and speak with him, passing on their sympathy and prayers, telling him that the people continued to hold prayerful vigils every night for their Queen and that all thoughts were directed towards the royal family at this most crucial time. At these times he struggled to keep his act together and his mask in place. He wasn't as stoic or as hardened as his Adar could be, nor was he as collected and unmoving as his grandfather had been, he was simply still too young to have mastered the art of concealment that his forebears wore so well. A talent he would probably earn with time, a skill likely honed by facing sorrow far too many times than one ever should, and suddenly he had a greater understanding of the burden placed on his father - this was not an easy task.

When he eventually made it to the his Naneth's room, Legolas found it an altogether busier place, not louder just a larger presence.

He stood a few feet from the open door and watched as the elleth he knew as Lady Celebrian, sat up on the bed with his Naneth and tried to show her something from a book.

His Nana had been propped up on pillows but she seemed like nothing more than a stuffed corpse. Her eyes focused on nothing and her skin was a deathly pallor, everything about her was lifeless and absent, and his heart ached at the sight.

Closer to the door he found his sister crying into her hands and the lord Glorfindel quietly trying to console her heavy and heartfelt tears. Ollie was there too, across the room from his sister nursing a perplexed and saddened Ferion. His baby brother seemed too young to hold such sorrow in his big, saucer-like, eyes. It was obvious something had happened, something upsetting, and his stomach churned.

Servants dashed in and out the room quickly, their faces drawn and anxious, but still nobody spoke.

Hesitantly Legolas reached for the door handle to pull the heavy double doors open further, and just as he did a familiar face met his and he blew out a relieved gasp.

"Legolas," Aradan whispered, his voice seemed tight with emotion and his eyes danced with unshed tears, but he smiled warmly for the young prince.

"Where is Ada?" Legolas questioned, his eyes roaming around the empty room and seeing nothing but anxious faces and heaps of unwanted tension. Aradan seemed to contemplate the question for a moment, deliberating how best to answer, which did nothing but raise Legolas' suspicions.

"Your Naneth had another episode this morning," Aradan spoke quietly, his eyes flickering back to the lifeless form on the bed. "Lord Elrond thought she had slipped away, and I confess I was convinced of it myself. Her eyes closed and she seemed to dim before our eyes...your Adar was badly shaken...he...well he needs to rest."

"But she is okay now?" Legolas queried, twisting around the elder elf to get a better look at his Naneth, who lay well plumped up on pillows. There was no way of telling what she heard, or what she saw, but she looked alive...if one could consider her present state alive.

"For the meantime she appears stable," Aradan nodded then shared a look with his wife.

Legolas caught the tail end of the look between the couple, and in Ollie's eyes he deciphered so much pain that it was hard to truly regard her. Her eyes were red rimmed and her face gaunt and haunted, her husband fared a little better but the worry in his features spoke volumes of what everyone was truly thinking...it was only a matter of time before this happened again.

"Brother!' Celairiel cried as she strode straight into his arms and buried her face in his neck, "please do not let them take Nana away."

Legolas wrapped his arms tightly around his sister, pulling her close and letting her sob through her grief. He wanted to promise her he wouldn't but now he wasn't so sure - could they truly live like this? Continually waiting for their Naneth to fade a little more, to watch her waste away until there was nothing left to cling to?

In the moment Legolas was so overcome that he pulled away from his sister and taking the last few steps to his mother's bedside. He felt so small as he stood before her bed, observing her still frame, her unseeing eyes not meeting his, and her lips remaining downturned - no smile saved only for him.

He barely sensed Celebrian as she rose up and squeezed his shoulder, leaving him to come to terms with what was left of his mother. He wasn't sure why but in the moment he wanted nothing more than to will her awake, to believe wholeheartedly that his Adar was right, that somehow he could reach his Naneth.

Falling to his knees by her bed he felt the tears prick in his eyes, and without his consent they freely spilled down his cheeks with all the force of the grief he had tried so hard to keep controlled. Reaching for her still hand he closed his fingers around it and tugged it to his face, the sleeve of her silk dress slipping up her wrist to reveal her bracelet where his little heart stone hung. The very image tore at his own heart all the more, and it burned in his chest as he touched the little stone with his fingertips, remembering with clarity the day he gave it to her, like it was only yesterday.

"It is not long enough," he spoke with a broken sob, "a few short decades are not long enough, you cannot leave me, not now."

There was nothing but quiet, her storm grey eyes only staring glassily from behind heavy purple lids. Legolas bit his lip and shook his head, he should never have come here, he could do nothing to save her...what could? The trauma she must have faced, the horror, the evil in her mind making her sick from the inside out - how could she come back from that?

"If you can hear me," Legolas tried again, unsure why he even bothered but somehow his heart would not let him give up. "If you are still there, then please, come back to us...Ada needs you...and Ferion and Celairiel...everyone needs you...I need you."

Nothing.

"Nana," her name seemed to come like a whisper from his lips as he stretched out and stroked her hair back from her forehead, "Nana, you look like you did when I rescued you in the woods back when I was little...with Grandpa...do you remember?"

Silence.

"You looked like you were sleeping," Legolas pushed on even though his own tears made the words sound rough and horrible to his ears. "You know I never told you what I was doing that day," he licked his lips and pulled in a long breath as he traced the shorter lengths of her silky hair. "I was hiding from Grandpa, because I was angry at Ada for being away for so long and I did not want to go inside...you know how I love hiding...well, I was in the long grass telling Illuvatar that I wouldn't get cross at Ada anymore if I had a Nana to look after me when he was gone...and then there you where? I could not have known at the time that you were truly the answer to all those prayers, but you were...so please, don't go...not now."

There was a heartbeat of painful silence as Legolas waited. Every elf in the room seemed to hold their breath, like they waited for the inevitable to happen, like Clara would not move and Legolas would come to the bitter understanding that he would never get her back.

They were wrong...he would never give up on hope!

Clara's eyelids fell, and Legolas jolted, letting go of her and inhaling sharply.

"Nana?" he gasped.

Her eyes remained shut. She breathed in once...a hard rasp of a sound...and then nothing.

A heartbeat passed.

Then the sudden silence was shattered by the raised and urgent voices in the room. Someone called for Elrond, he heard his sister give a devastated shriek, his baby brother burst into terrified sobs, but Legolas could not let go.

"No," he shouted bitterly and gently shook his Nana, her eyes remaining closed, her head weakly falling to the side, "No Nana...don't you dare..."

Still nothing happened, only strong hands clamping on his shoulder and attempting to pull him away. He resisted.

"No, let me go!" he cried and reached for her, "Nana! Nana! Gi Melin Nana!"

A flutter of something passed between them in that moment - something profound and natural - like how the breeze rustles the leaves. There were no words he had to describe the feeling, only that in his heart he knew that it to be love...and that was when he saw it.

He saw her chest draw in a deep breath, how her eyes blinked heavily, and how her lips formed around the letters of his name.

"L-l-lego-las..." she croaked, her hand outstretched weakly, "...Legolas..."

*************************
A/N:  *feels*

Just...feels.

Media: 'Waiting Between Worlds'
By
Zack Hemsey
***When I was drafting this piece this song created the backdrop to pretty much the full cycle of Clara's Story.  It's an incredible poem with such strong Spiritual truths that I fully recommend you listen to it whilst reading.***

In other news - It's nearly Christmas!!! Yay!!! So who is has been good this year?  I think I have been -mostly- good.  Apart from breaking all your hearts occasionally hehe.

Also, REMEMBER, I am running my own little Christmas Fandom comp.  Please do check it out, it's really just for a bit of fandom bant! 

Lots of Love
<3