AN: Set the night Thranduil returns from his day (and evening) with Clara in the woods. I don't own the image and I can't find the artist...but it's amazing right? So yea thanks to the talented artist.
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There you go...sweet dreams my little leaf."

"Nigh-nmm."

Legolas wriggles into the covers, burrowing his head into the plump downy softness of his pillows. His cheeks flushed pink with sleep, his eyes clouded in dreams. I can't help myself as I gently stroke the soft tuffs of his golden hair, were they have stuck to his face. Grinning proudly, I lean in and press a kiss to his blazing brow, pausing to breathe in his elfling scent.
If I could keep him like this forever I surely would. 

Every battle, every war, every wound and scar is all worth it, if it keeps him safe, if it secures his freedom. I would take it all again - gladly - if it meant he would never live in a world doused in evil again. If I could spare him such sacrifices I would...but such miracles are nothing more than whimsical daydreams. He will fight one day - but not for as long as I can avoid it.

Straightening up from his bed, I wearily amble into the hallway, hoping I can navigate my way to my bathing rooms without bumping into Adar. That is another meeting I am happy to avoid for as long as possible. He wants to see me, I'm sure to point out my lack of responsibility to my title, but I need to bathe...I really need to bathe.

Mercifully, after a few near misses with servants...who'd likely rat me out in a heartbeat....I slip into my own chambers. Trailing off clothing, piece by grubby price, I finally reach my desired destination.

The inviting sound of rushing water, from the overhead spring that runs down the rocks and into bathing pool, beckons to me. I know the showering water is cool, but not uncomfortably so - the thermal energy of the caves maintains a desirable temperature. If I wanted anything warmer I would have a servant draw a bath, but it's not heat I need...I need to cool down...I need to calm down.

There is a quivering knot in the lowest pit of my stomach. I can ignore it for the most part, but not always. At times it snags and pulses, tormenting me with a slew of unwanted desires. Desires that circulate every time I so much as think of how her body felt against mine...how enticingly soft her lips felt, when I stupidly attempted to kiss her!

What insanity drove me to act so recklessly, so beyond decorum, and propriety? I can not blame her, she was not to fault, she never so much as expected it...but then she never exactly refused the notion either? She didn't recoil...could I have encouraged her? Would she have let me if I had of persisted instead of retreating like a coward?

The moment I let the question form in my mind, is the moment my imagination alights. Without permission that knot tightens and coils, and a heat spikes through my fea - it is not an unwelcome sensation, In fact it is too welcoming.  I practically lunge into the cool water of the spring, so as to muffle an excitable groan, and still the flying of my spiked pulse.

What have you done...you fool?

I inhale with deliberate slowness, then gratefully accept the calmness that comes with my steadied exhale. I focus on the invigorating water, as it pours over my head and down my neck, streaming down my back and legs, and pooling in every little crevice and dip in my scarred skin.

Gently I tip my head fully back, letting the water crash over my broken face. Parting my lips out of habit, I fill my mouth with the clean water, in my vain attempt to cleanse myself.

Once I feel like I have squashed any further desires, I run my bands over my face and through my hair, then spit out the water held in my mouth. With a shake I bring myself forward, and rest my head on the wet stone of the cave wall in front of me, until my breathing relaxes and my senses return.

Studying the splayed fingers of my left hand, as it rests on the stone wall by me, I contemplate my options;

My first, and most sensible option, is to ignore this. To carry on like today never happened...erase it. Adar would prefer if I went with this option, this would be wise to him. But, I felt her fea...I purposefully connected to it...that was my first terrible mistake! I tasted what it would be like to be closer to her, and now I want nothing else. I know - with complete certainty - that I will never feel half of what I feel from her with anyone else. So no, this option is not feasible...I'll never forget.

I could pursue her - I prefer this option. I could do all in my power to win her affections. Then I could have it all...a love that is real and honest. A family for my son.  I could do right by him, I could fix it...with her.  I could fix everything that was undone. But...she would have to love me in return. I could never force her, my heart will not take another failure, and I am not so sure she feels as strongly as I do. If she even feels anything at all?

Perhaps, I am not in my right mind...perhaps I am rushing towards some sort of non-existent hope?  I am sure it appears that way, but it doesn't feel that way. Oh for the love of Elbereth...this is insanity! I am not a youth, I am not an idiot, I know my own mind and I know I care for the elleth. If that is a crime so be it! Who am I to question such things? Logic and well laid plans do not necessarily equal success either, I am living proof of that.

With an audible huff at my inner argument, I reach for a towel and briskly dry myself off. Scowling and muttering as I go, until eventually I catch myself in the reflection of the water in the pool beneath me. I sigh, and run the towel over the ends of my hair...arguing with your own mind is certainly a sign of impending madness.

However, I am not quite sure if this is a sickness of the mind or the heart? As if to answer, my heart skips a beat as I touch my cheek.

She kissed my cheek, and was not repulsed. It was only a peck, barely distinguishable, as light as butterfly wings. Yet it has left an imprint on my faux skin, forever trapped in the memory of the enchantment coursing in the veins of my fea. She has unwittingly left her mark...I have no one to blame but myself if this ends tragically.

My mind is made up, as I quit the bathing rooms and slosh back into my bed chamber. I will not find any peace until I know for certain if I have even the smallest of chances. If it is even remotely possible for her to return my feelings, then I will take the chance. If not, well, what is one more scar to heal?

I reach my bed, and with a quick check to ensure I am alone, I fall face first into the pillow. A tad immature I admit, but the fact that I am attempting to pursue an elleth after at least several decades of solitude, is enough to make me cringe. I have not the slightest inclination were to start?

I used to be good at this! I used to have have ellith in every corner of the Kingdom. Depending on my mood, I would flit to whomever I felt I could tolerate...but I was young, and none of it was about love. It was all innocent courting...well most of it. I will admit to being on the receiving end of a few angry fathers' but it was all in the game. I never bonded with any ellith, I never wanted too. I have only ever lain with the mother of my child, and that was the only soul purpose for the act. I never desired her, I wanted to, but I couldn't please her...she did not want me to, I respected her wish. But the very thought of being that close to Clara, just the suggestion of it, is enough to undo me. I dare not imagine such a thing, it is improper and I care too much for her to degrade or taint her with my selfish desires. She deserves so much more than that, and if all I can ever do is stand in the shadows of her radiating light, then that is more than enough...I would be satisfied with just that.

"And where exactly have you been?"

I literally hiss in shock at hearing his voice, it's anger smashing up my perfect rivière. I wrestle with the loosened towel around my waist, as I scramble to my knees to face my Adar...and his cold appraisal.

"Out," I answer a little too huskily, and I attempt to clear my throat...and my head...before I shame myself further.

"You were not out Thranduil, you were having supper with lady Gilron's daughter and that elleth no doubt!" He reminds me scornfully, his jaw clenching in irritation.

"Legolas was having such a great time, I just did not have the heart to tear him away." Oh how despicable Thranduil, blaming your infant son instead of yourself...you should be ashamed!

"You will ruin that child, you indulge him far too much." Adar snaps and shakes his head in disappointment; "You were expected to dine with myself and my Lindon guests tonight...your absence did not go unnoticed!"

"You mean Lady Ithril noticed," I correct him, much to his annoyance, as I stroll to a chest of drawers and begin rummaging for fresh clothes; "Ada, the elleth is about as interesting as a rock. Would you please just find someone else to amuse her, I am in no mood to entertain Sindarin aristocracy."

"Are you not Sindar ion nin? Are you not nobility?" Adar huffs haughtily, his voice sounding bored with me already.

"I am not of Lindon, I have nothing in common with those elves," I mutter as I wrestle an olive tunic over my head, then sigh glumly when it gets stuck.

"Yes but maybe it would do you no harm to enlighten yourself," He grumbles as his hands reach for the hems of the tunic I am twisted up in; "Oh for heavens sake child, you are a disaster!"

"It's too tight," I whine, when I force it over my head with a final push; "All my own clothes are tight, I need to train more, I need to get my body back to what it was."

"It is tight because you are still swollen, things will even out soon, the healing enchantment is already working exceptionally well," Ada comments lightly, a small smile warming up his cold features. "You do not need to train so much, there is no need. It's not like you will be returning to the guard or taking up your previous duties."

"Yes I am," I reply defiantly as I brush past him and return to my bed. I am not having this discussion again; "I am still commanding general of our forces, and I will continue to be, for as long as the woodland elves remain and I am blessed with life. You will have to accept it Ada...this is my choice."

"Ai, you wear me out," Adar grouches bitterly, as he plops himself down on the edge of my bed, peeking up at me with cautious eyes. I merely inspect my nail beds, before feigning interest in the farthest wall.

"Are we done, can I assume I am reprimanded for not turning up to your elegant feast?" I mutter, whilst still glaring defiantly at the far wall.

"I am trying ion, I really am trying," Adar groans into his hands, where he nestles his face. I feel a tad remorseful -  he didn't ask for this, it's not his fault his child is a walking disaster; "I thought maybe if you were surrounded by some of your peers you might feel a little more like yourself? You were a warrior, and an iconic one at that, but it's time to let those days pass Thranduil. There is plenty more interests open to a Prince other than combat. You could turn you hand to politics, law, trade even? You have a wonderful charisma, you would make a great ambassador, and Eru knows I loathe those frivolous parties. Would you not just indulge me, it can do you no harm to mix with your counterparts in other realms. You never know, you might just find-"

"Do not finish that statement," I groan, and flash my Adar a defeated grimace; "We both know there is no elleth in Lindon that would entertain me...at least not out of genuine reasons."

"One mistake Thranduil, we can all make one mistake. You do not have to berate yourself forever," Adar tells me with a sympathetic look which churns my insides. He still defends me, even when I shut him out, even when I deserve the blame. With a sigh he stands, and smooths out his tunic before flashing me a grin; "Although I would agree, that Ithril is a terribly irritating elleth. But her father and I are friends, she is welcome here, and she may come in useful for idle gossip.  Just try ion, just try and broaden your mind...hmmm?"

I give a tight smile and forced nod of agreement. I try to look interested, I try to appear like his words mean something to me, but I know my eyes (or I suppose one working eye) betray my utter dislike of the whole idea.

Me? Show my face in Lindon again...as an Ambassador? I can see it now, it would be the end of civilised negotiations as we know it...particularly if any of her political inclined family are involved. I would probably end up embedding my fist in one of her opinionated cousins' jaws...how is that for Silvan hospitality!

No, no I really do not think that is a wise situation to put me in, at least not yet. There is still much bad blood between Legolas' mother and I...far too much.

Sliding down into the blankets of my bed, I sigh and lament my stubbornness. I understand Adar's point, I really do, but the world is evil and filled with darkness. My people are not accustomed to such monsters, they need directed wisely and sensibly. If the whispers are true, and war does come, then I will be ready...and so will my people. Adar cannot disagree with such logic, I just have to prove I am capable of returning. Capable of knowing my own mind.

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Thank you all for the views and adds. And as alway thank you Raider-k  and Tammyt70