I leaned closer to Alexander, inhaling the sweet flowery smell of him. A smile slid to my face, and I glanced up at him as he continued to read his book. He didn't notice me at first, but the moment he did, he closed his book and tilted his head at me, cocking an eyebrow.

"What?" he asked.

"What do you mean, what?"

"You're staring at me."

"I am not."

"You are too."

Seeing no other course of action in order to win this debate, I moved up to kiss him. His lips curled into a smile, and I felt his body relax. Seconds later and I let go of him so I could continue to read. His fingers moved to my hair and began to play with it gently, completely occupied.

"What are you reading?" His voice was soft, as if being any louder would break the spell and ruin the moment.

"A book."

"Really? Huh. Who would've guessed it? What book are you reading?"

I moved the book so he could see the title. When he realized what book it was, he met my eyes and grinned again, a laugh almost on his lips.

"Deathly Hallows, huh?"

"I never got around to reading the last one," I returned sheepishly, dog-earring the page and setting it down on the table besides us.

The library was quiet despite the birds that had joined us, but they had come to the general consensus that they were too lazy to make any noise. It was a gray afternoon, rain clouds just looming in the distance. But that only made the mood more comforting, more serene. We had lit the fireplace, though I personally enjoyed the chilly breeze that fought through the window.

Alex was content playing with my hair as I rested my head against his chest. We watched Belletra and Amica messing around the table, both of them flaring their wings as they argued about Divinity knows what. Something to do with freeing all the birds in human pet stores and zoos?

I don't know. I was hardly paying attention to them, choosing rather to give it all to Alexander.

I listened to the pulse of his heartbeat, my head rising and falling with his chest. He was telling me about a spell he wanted to create, something about spider-people. He mentioned something about a movie, but I never really watched many of those during my time on Earth. I found myself hooked on every word he said, enjoying the sweet sound of his voice as he went on and on.

"Are you listening to me?" he teased, unaware that I listened like every word he said could be his last.

"Of course! You were talking about a Spider Man and someone named Stork."

"Stark, but close enough."

"Oh, give me a break."

Alexander's hand slid down to my back, where he began to drag his fingers across the skin lightly. I flinched away from him at first, unsure of what he was doing.

"What's wrong?" he murmured quickly, a hint of alarm sparking through his voice.

"Nothing," I breathed, settling back down. "It just feels weird, that's all."

"Should I keep doing it?"

I paused, looking up at him. "Yes please," I decided after a moment, then laid my head back on his chest.

Alexander smiled lazily in amusement and continued. I sucked in a deep breath and decided that I liked it. It felt nice, in an innocent way that was far better than anything else I had experienced before.

"What are you doing?" I asked after a while, purely curious.

"Scratching your back?"

"Huh. And I'm assuming this is an Earth thing?"

"Yeah?"

"I like Earth."

"Me too." He paused, letting a silence drift between the two of us, but I didn't feel uncomfortable or anxious waiting in its hold. "What are these flowers?"

"What flowers?" I asked, stalling. I knew exactly what flowers he was talking about and I did not want to answer him.

He handed me one of the petal that the butterflies left everywhere.

I sighed. "You know how humans have sex?"

Alexander's eyes widened in surprise, completely caught off guard. "Uh, what? Yeah."

"And then the baby kinda just... grows inside the female?"

"I don't really want to know where this is going."

"Hey, you asked!"

He smiled and kissed me. "I guess I did. Continue."

"Well, Peritum kinda have the same thing here. So, we have sex, too. But then the energy that we produce while... um, doing so... goes into these flowers and then there's a new Peritum."

"I cannot wait for you to explain this to your children." Alexander closed his eyes for a second. "So when the butterflies leave these petals here, then that means they want us to—"

"Yeah," I said quickly, trying to ignore the heat in my face. "And can we move on now?"

Alexander leaned forwards, and his lips found mine. He slid his fingers underneath my chin. My heart fluttered at the soft brush of his skin against my skin.

He broke away a minute later and continued to run his fingers down my back, scratching gently. I was just about to drift off, lulled by his sweet touch and his soft voice murmuring, when he asked me a question that snapped me out of the blissful trance.

"Have you been doing okay lately?"

I drew away from him without meaning to, and a frown tugged at his lips. "What do you mean?" I asked, fearing that I was right in what I thought he meant.

"I don't know." He let go of me, and I felt empty at the absence of his touch. "You just... I don't know. It's just that you've been acting really different lately. I just want to make sure everything's okay."

My gaze fell to the couch, unable to look him in the eyes as I swallowed the lump forming in my throat.

"Look, Thomas, I'm not demanding that you tell me everything. You have every right to keep some things private from me, and we've hardly been together for very long. Definitely not long enough for you to have to tell me everything. But, at the same time, I'm really worried about you."

"It's nothing, Alexander, I promise."

"I don't want to press, but it doesn't really seem like nothing, though. Is it me? Did... did I do something?"

I was so caught startled by the question that I didn't answer right away. "No!" I exclaimed, finally able to find my voice. I leaned forwards and grabbed his hands, holding them in mine. "Alexander, you did nothing wrong, okay? I adore being with you. I wouldn't trade it for the world."

I let my grip on his hands relax as I surged forwards and wrapped my arms around him, clinging close to his body.

He let out a loud sigh and relaxed, holding me close and kissing my face lightly. "Then what's been happening? It seems like you've been keeping things from me and you've just been generally upset lately. Is there anything I can do to help?"

"Nothing's happening. I've just been really stressed out lately, but you have had absolutely nothing to do with it. In fact, without you, I probably would've gone insane by now." I added the last part with a hint of humor, but nothing I had said had been a lie.

The worried look in his eyes didn't pass, but regardless, Alexander began to scratch my back again, and I found myself pressing closer against his body, breathing in his scent. I closed my eyes so I could properly relish the moment and the closeness.

"Do you need anything?" he asked after a while, returning to the sweet and calm voice he often used when it was just me and him.

I shook my head. "I'm just happy to be here with you."

"I'm happy to be here with you, too. But if you ever need to talk to someone, I'll gladly be there for you."

The irony of it was that I wanted nothing more than to pour myself out to him right there, right then. I wanted to tell him everything, to curl up close against him and sob into his chest.

Instead, I smiled and curled my hands in the fabric of his shirt, pulling him down and settling my lips against his. His hands went to cup my face, and I relaxed against him.

When he let go of me, I slipped away from him and sat up, smiling like an idiot.

He stood up and reached for my hand before taking it up to his mouth and kissing it lightly.

Divinity, I hated how much I loved that. How useless it rendered me.

"You're an idiot."

"An idiot whom you adore."

"I suppose that's true."

"I know it's true. Anyway, I'm bored. Wanna go on a walk with me?"

I flexed my wings, shooting him a meaningful look.

He eyed them warily. "Not today, Thomas. But I promise you, I will go on a flight with you one day."

"You better."

His grip around my hand tightened, and he pulled me to my feet. "Walk?"

"Fine." I leaned down and kissed him lightly, slipping my hands into his.

~•~

My eyes flung open and were welcomed by darkness. A thundering agony tore through my body and I stumbled back until my hand brushed against something warm and sticky.

I tried to adjust to the darkness. It must have been night, but the moon and stars were hidden by the thick cover of clouds.

My body was exhausted and drained of energy, but I forced a light to my fingertips so I could see what was in front of me.

It took everything I had not to scream.

I stumbled away from the bloody carcass, unable to tear my eyes away from it. "No," I whimpered, my voice cutting through the thick silence of the night. "No, no, no!"

My back hit a tree and I fell to the ground, holding my head in my hands and repeating the same word over and over again, as if somehow that would make it all less real.

My breathing came heavy, but it was the only sound in the darkness of the night. I realized that I was covered in blood, so I had no doubt that whatever the creature was that lay dead just yards from me, I had been the one to take its life.

I just hoped it wasn't somebody I cared for.

I sat for the longest time, unable to force myself to move. All I could so was sit there and try my best not to cry.

The silence and darkness didn't last for long.

A single bolt of lightning flashed through the sky and landed somewhere not too far off. I braced myself, but was still shaken by the almost immediate bellow of thunder that followed.

I tried to stand up, hoping maybe I could get home before the rain started, but I fell to my feet after a single step.

I was far too exhausted to walk.

So instead, I stared at the carcass and quivered.

I had transformed, hadn't I? I had transformed into a Tenebrie and killed an innocent creature, whatever it may be. The only thing that confused me was how I was Peritum now.

The undergrowth began to rustle. I jumped backwards, cowering against the tree and reaching for my sword, only to find it missing. I was weaponless, alone, and too exhausted to move.

I stared down at my hands. Were my fingers claws, or was that just my imagination getting the better of me?

Whoever—or whatever—it was must have heard my breathing. "Who's there?"

I let out a sigh of relief at the familiarity of the voice and called out timidly. "Angelica?"

"Thomas!"

She burst through a nearby bush, pushing the leaves out of her face. Her hand leapt to her mouth in relief and she surged forwards, kneeling down next to me.

"You're okay."

I shook my head.

"Thomas?"

I pointed to the carcass.

She glanced over, and a mixture of surprise, horror, and then relief rushed into her gaze. "Thomas, it's okay." She looked back at me and took my arm. "It's just a deer."

"A deer?" My voice didn't sound like my own.

She nodded. "Just a deer."

"What happened?" I demanded.

"You don't remember?"

"I remember you. And Aaron. He was there too. We... we were talking. I couldn't take it anymore. I left. To get some fresh air. And then..." I swallowed and shrunk away from her. "I felt a presence at the back of my mind. Calling to me. And then, I woke up here." My breathing turned into panting for breath. "Did anybody see me?"

Angelica shook her head. "No. Nobody else. Just Aaron and I."

A flash of lightning illuminated the clearing for a second, and I was able to see my clothing. Soaked in blood.

"You turned into a Tenebrie," she said. "And you flew off."

I looked at her. "Flew?"

"Well, on the bright side, your... other form... is kinda cool." Her attempt at optimism, though kind, fell short. She sighed and shook her head. "A dragon."

I held my arms, wishing I could just disappear.

"How do you feel?"

"Exhausted. Angelica, I just want to go home." The horrific realization hit me. "I can't go home."

"You're going home." Her tone left no room for argument, and I had never seen a look so intense. "Are you hurt?"

I shook my head, which was a lie. She must have seen it too, for I felt a sudden rush of energy course through my body, running as swiftly as water in a river.

"Do you think you can walk?"

"I'll try."

"Okay, so that's a no." She chewed on her lip. "I'll let Aaron know I found you."

"You've been looking for me?" I wasn't sure if I should have felt touched or ashamed.

"Of course, Thomas. You're our friend."

The clouds decided then would be the opportune time to open up and pour on us.

Angelica sighed. "Come on. I'll teleport us home."

"You don't have to, you know. Maybe I should stay here for a while. Or forever."

"Don't be ridiculous, Thomas. We're going home. And then you're going to get some rest, okay?"

"Okay."

Angelica's energy seeped out of her and filled the air around us. I didn't have to wait for long before the sound of the rain ebbed away, becoming more distant.

I opened my eyes, finding the infirmary.

"I'm not staying in here. Nothing is wrong with me."

Her mouth shot open, ready to argue, but her eyes softened and she gave in. "Fine. But at least let me heal you. Please."

When she was done, I dragged myself up the staircase to my room, holding onto the railing for support.

Alexander was already there, but he was fast asleep under the blanket.

Before I went to join him, I drafted my letter to Aaron.

Then, I wrote a second.