My thoughts keep rambling on, it was actually making me a little gloomy and sad before the day even ends. It was like I am carrying the whole world on my shoulders, such feelings that I feel for the first time once again since I've been comfortable in Ireland. My breathing is getting uneven for no apparent reason and I just really feel so sad and problematic right now, all I want to do is just lay on a bed and sleep these thoughts away, hoping that they'll never come back once I wake up from my sleep. It's a bothersome and I can't even bring myself to snap away from my thoughts.

I waved Alice and Marian goodbye and the two of them went home while they chat whilst I lean on the wall beside the staircase, waiting for Niall to come down, his shift is supposed to end soon. We always go home together but right now, I just don't think it's a good idea to be with him for awhile. I need to stay away from him and avoid thinking about him, it's making my situation worse, it's not helping at all and lastly, it's really not that significant for me to think about all the time but here I am, waiting for him to come down so we can both go to his flat.

I sighed really deep and closed my eyes. It's only been a month and there's no way I could feel this way, it's a severe admiration but I think it's the same thing I feel towards Zayn so it's really not a problem. But it's really bothering me, another part of me is shouting that it's not the same as how I feel towards Zayn, so maybe it's really just a crush, besides, who wouldn't even admire someone so angelic like him? This'll probably pass and fade as the time goes by, it's just a phase. Even if it's a phase, I shouldn't be thinking about him all the time as if he's my priority, he's not and he'll never will be, who is he anyway? He's nothing more than just a stranger with a kind heart who took me in and instantly became a friend of mine, I shouldn't be leveling him to my parents' level to the point that I'm actually doubting if I should continue on with the mission.

It's not only because of Niall, it's also because of the mission, I'm starting to worry once again if I couldn't accomplish it and I'd end up in jail considering the fact that Liam might find out about my identity. All these thoughts are non stop, they keep on shouting at me and stays on my mind that I can't even think in peace.

I felt a tear roll down my cheek, I couldn't help but cry at this point because I'm overthinking about a lot of things. In a few days, I can get my first salary on the job, I'd find a cheap apartment to stay at as soon as possible. It doesn't matter if it's really small or anything, I just need somewhere I can stay where I'll be away from Niall because, I'd admit that I'm growing fond of him as each day passes by and it's wrong because if I keep on growing my fondness of him, he'll just get on the way of my mission. In that way, I can not only avoid him, I can also break this "crush on Niall" phase, I didn't want to know if I do have feelings for him or not anymore, it's not my job, I didn't came in Ireland just for this, so the sooner I get to move out, it'll be better for me to start focusing on the mission. And even if I did have feelings for him and dream of us being together, it's really impossible now, who would even want me as their girlfriend?

"Hey," Someone greeted with a cheery tone but faded into a gloomy one, just like how I feel right now. I wiped a tear away that's been rolling on my cheek and sniffed then turned around so we can start going home now.

"Let's go." I signaled and started to walk without even waiting for him. The voice sounds familiar as Niall's so I'm sure that it's him. I heard running footsteps that's heading towards me and a figure soon then popped at my side as he walked slowly, just as slow as I am.

"Hey, don't just leave me alone like that." Niall complained, I didn't look up at him to see his face and I just kept on walking aimlessly, my eyes then drifted and saw Irish walking along with us but then a head peeked over to me and I jumped in surprise. "Hey," Niall said and since his head is the thing I'm seeing right now, I see his face form into a worried expression. Niall does help a lot of people but if he wants to help me, at least he needs to lessen his concern for me that makes me really flustered and admire him much more. I just snubbed him and kept walking while I look at the ground, I'm trying to help myself to not even like him more. We weren't meant to become friends, like I said before, I'm not here in Ireland to do anything, I'm here to finish my job and get my parents out, that's all I've cared about, nothing more, nothing less so why am I here actually friends with a lot of people in Ireland now? I'm not supposed to do this, if only I became more responsible and didn't even bother to develop my relationship with Niall, I wouldn't be having feelings that would complicate me along the way. I'm now realising this, but I did everything wrong from the very beginning.

"Argh, it's so cold, I wonder who took my coat this morning?" Niall blurted out, trying to catch my attention when he said those words while looking at me obviously, wearing his coat, but I didn't reacted and just kept on walking. A hand then wrapped around my wrist and I ceased on my walking to turn back and see Niall. "Victoria, what's wrong?"

"There's nothing wrong, I just want to go back to your place." I lied but Niall didn't seem to be pleased and convinced with my answer when he just frowned and even tighten his grip on me. "There's nothing wrong, so let's just go ba-"

"Let's stop by at the newly opened fast food to eat, our grocery stock ran out, we'll go buy some on the weekend." He dragged me to the opposite side of the road, walking on the pedestrian lane and I soon find myself in front of a red building with different Asian decorations around and as we enter inside, I can smell the stain of newly cooked white rice and the smell of dumplings that I really missed eating when I was staying at Mr. Minami's house. My wrist is still held hostage by Niall's hand until he let's go of it and ties Irish's leash on a parking lot for bicycles and then he grabbed my wrists again and entered. He lead me to one of the high chairs in front of the counter just like how most Asian restaurants would look like, and there we sat at those and he started pointing out some food displayed on the wall, saying how he wanted to taste it since all of the food were unfamiliar for him whilst I'm a little bit familiar because the fast food is a mix of Japanese-Chinese, most of the food there were already served to me when I was still staying at Mr. Minami's place.

"So, what's your order?" Niall asked.

"Oh, anything... Just pick for me, please." I said and then covered my face with my hands. I heard Niall sigh and called for someone to tell our orders. I wasn't in the mood to see his face, all I want now is to go back and just rest because I'm tired of thinking about everything, I'm overthinking things and making problems out of nothing but I really can't help but to think of it. I took my hands away to glance at Niall who's looking on another direction, and thought that maybe it's really just a phase, it's impossible to like someone for only a month, plus what do I even know about it? It's not like I have felt and experienced it before, it's probably my late puppy love that always seem to happen back in high school, but it got late for me that's why it only happened now, it's just a phase, I'll soon get over it.

I look around the fast food and see strong red colours, piercing my eyes and intrigues the customers to eat, followed by a lot of Asian food paintings hung on the wall which makes everyone hungry just by the second you look at it. We're sat on a long counter where some customers can eat but there are also tables for four to eat at. The smell of the white rice seem to never go away and it just keeps on tickling my senses, just by smelling it, it's almost as if you can taste it and just thinking about it, it makes my mouth water and makes me hungrier as every second pass by.

"Victoria," someone called out and I turn to look at Niall with the same worried expression written on his face. "What's the matter?" His hands flew and touched mine which caught me by surprise and even gasp quietly, I pulled my hand away and touched it with my other hand and pressed it on my chest.

"There's nothing to matter about, I'm just tired." I told him then I saw him shake his head from side to side, knowing that it's a lie.

"Don't lie to me, I don't like liars." my eyes bore on his and his bore on mine, he can sense it but what should I say? It's really confidential and it's really none of his business until something popped into my mind. I remembered the time he was nagging me to come to the police station so we can report about the crime and we ended up getting a little distant at that time because we argued, I thought about how I felt towards him, it's nothing, no care, no concern, it's pure nothing, maybe if I can become distant with him right now, I would be able to feel nothing towards him.

"Remember that time when I told you to not dip your business into mine?" I boldly told him with a firm and strong tone of voice, our eye contact broke and he just looked down and fiddled with his fingers. I was bringing back the old me when I wasn't even caring about Niall and not growing feelings nor being friends with him, I should keep it on my mind that he's just a stranger. Now that I'm a little closer to retrieving my things, I should think about my mission now and be serious once again, I know Sheryl is in Ireland and there has to be a way for us to meet but I don't know where or when but I need to ready myself now, any second can be my last glance at Niall before I resume into being an assassin, and the best way for us to cut our connections is to act like the way we used to be, nothing but strangers. I eyed Niall up and down, he's a nice guy really but... It's just a phase, all of this is just a phase, I'll get over it soon.

Our orders came only to find out that Niall ordered me some tempura with white rice, my fantasies for white rice is over because I'll finally gonna eat one and relieve the magical taste that no other food has left on my tongue before, I guess I can say that I've been really obsessed with rice since I stayed at Mr. Minami's place, even if they're simple and doesn't really have any taste, it's still tasty for me. The bowl where the food is placed reminds me so much of the time when I'm in Mr. Minami's place, I clasp my hand together and bowed in front of the food.

"Itadakimasu." I mumbled under my breath, it's a tradition that I often see from Mr. Minami before eating and before I knew it, I find myself doing it too, I have no idea what the word means but I just find myself mimicking his actions and it suddenly kicked in me to do it because of the Japanese-y feeling. A chopstick was handed over to me and I gladly take it and break it into half before proceeding to eat but as I take some rice on my mouth, I can feel someone looking at me and so I turned around and it was Niall who's looking at me so weirdly, I gave him the same type of look but then he shrugged it and just break his chopsticks as well before eating, his dish was different from mine and I saw that he ordered some Chinese food, I planted my eyes on my meal and ate my food. I took a bite from my tempura, and trying to chew it until it becomes soft, it's really crunchy and it's been awhile since I last ate one, so I'm trying to maintain its crunchiness before I swallow it, I took some rice on my mouth as well and chewed it along with the tempura before swallowing it.

I've been taking a lot of food inside my mouth that I didn't even realised that someone beside me is struggling on eating their meal, I put my chopsticks down on the bowl and look at Niall to observe him, it seems that he hasn't even ate one bite of rice nor his dumplings and he's struggling a lot because of his chopsticks, he can't even position it on his hands properly. I took my chopsticks and positioned it on my hands.

"Here's how you hold it." I showed my hands with the chopsticks and he looked at it and once he seen how its supposed to be held, he fixed the way he holds his chopsticks too then showed me as well, his head turned so he can see me, he has a little smirk playing on his lips, probably proud that he successfully held the chopsticks properly. "Yeah and then you open it like this..." I moved my fingers to open the chopsticks. "...and get the food like this." I demonstrated him as I took his dumplings and lifted it with my chopsticks, he tried to do the same but he ends up dropping the sticks on the bowl, he tried to do it several times but he fails on even lifting another dumpling. I sighed and shake my head so I just showed the dumpling to him and attacked it on his face. "Eat." I told him.

"But I-"

"Say 'aah'." I told him and he gladly obeyed so I shoved the dumpling on his mouth and he took a bite from it then chewed the food, I reached for his bowl and lifted some rice and asked him to open his mouth again and he ate it. "Itadakimasu." I said once again as he eats the rice then chews it, I looked down and shake my head. "You're so helpless, you can't even eat with a chopstick."

"Well, sorry, my fingers weren't meant to master how to use the chopsticks, they mastered another thing." He told me after swallowing his food.

"Go ask if they have a spoon and fork." I commanded him to do and I took a bite from my meal but then I heard Niall groan.

"Do you still think I'd go ask for a spoon and fork if I have you to feed me? Think a again, it's a big no." He smirked and made a cocky face to me, I frowned at him and rolled my eyes away.

"Well have it your way, I'm not gonna shove some food to you anymore, I also have something to eat, you know?" I said then turned my back at him to eat my meal peacefully.

"Aww, Victoria, I also have something to eat, you can't just let me starve!" I ignored Niall's words and continued to eat my food, he was trying to make the situation lighter and at ease because he senses how heavy my aura was. "You know... We kind of eventually kissed." I stopped shoving some food on my mouth when Niall said those words, I didn't knew what he meant when he said that we kissed, I didn't also knew when. I turned around to face him with a confused look.

"What are you saying?"

"Well we kind of shared the same chopsticks that touched both our lips... So.." He smiled and my brows furrowed, I also realised that until now but that isn't even close to a kiss, but we did kind of shared the chopsticks.

"That's not called a kiss! You're making up stupid things." I told him and continued to eat, my cheeks were getting hot and I don't even want to know if I'm blushing or not. I lifted a tempura in between my chopsticks and as I was about to put it in my mouth, Niall spoke.

"Well, it's basically one for me." His head dove right in front of me and ate the tempura on my chopsticks, I gasped shockingly and frowned at him. "Aww, come on, I was actually trying to make you smile, but I seem to have failed miserably." He said but I was still frowning at him but then I felt someone tickle me on my side that caused me to bend my body and giggle out of the blue only to find out that Niall is the one who did it. "It's been a long and tiresome day for me, all I want for now is to see you smile, probably to make me a little less tired, because your smile can always lighten up my day." He confessed and I couldn't help but smile, I was flattered by his words. "And then seeing you with a sad face, having a gloomy day and probably problematic, it's not really helping for me, so I thought... Just... Maybe I could do something to turn that frown upside down to benefit not only you, but also me because I'd be smiling the second I see yours."

"Niall, no matter how much you compliment me, I'll still have no money to pay you." I said with gritted teeth, I don't want him to know that I actually feel flattered by his words, it's not helping me get over my crush-on-Niall phase.

"Wh- why do you always say that when I compliment you? I mean those words."

"No,no, you're just saying that because pay day is getting nearer for the both of us and you're already planning on how to get my money." I shake my head side to side but I was still smiling, I hope Niall knows that I'm bantering with him. I grabbed his bowl and put some dumpling in between my chopsticks and shoved it directly at Niall but he seem to have been off guard do he leaned backwards and the dumpling fell on the floor.

"Hey! You just wasted food, you don't go doing that!"

"Well, it's not my fault that you leaned backwards, I was trying to feed you."

"You wasted my dumpling, replace it with your tempura!" Niall seem to have been annoyed but I find it entertaining anyway.

"Well fine!" I lifted a tempura and he took a bite from it. I alternately tried to feed myself and Niall because it seems like the fast food didn't had spoon and fork and it kind of looked like we are a couple if you glance at us, giggling and laughing and feeding each other. I kind of enjoyed our moment together and there's this wild beating of my heart once again whenever I look at him as our eyes smile at each other, it was a metaphor, I know eyes can't smile but there's just thins thing that makes you see that they are smiling. This is probably the first time we've been this jolly and carefree like this since I started working. Niall's a good guy and I know my heart is always beating crazy like this because of unknown reason but I have to at least remember that this is all just a phase that I'll get over soon, maybe my heart screams Niall's name because I fancy him now but I'll get over it later on. And I need to remember what Marian said...

Not everything that the heart wants is what you need to follow.

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A/N YOU DONT GO ABUSING NIALLER OR ILL BE THE ONE TO COME TO YOUR HOUSE AND BURN IT! 😤😤 joke, there's no need to be violent here, I'm just pressed because of the people who sends awful and disgusting things to Niall, I'm glad he finally spoke and I hope some legal action would be done. Anyway, I hope everyone enjoyed this chapter, I'm really trying my best to write very presentable to everyone's eyes. Votes and Comments would really be appreciated 😊, have a nice day.

Twitter: LovingHLLNZ
Next update: 5/30

All the love, "K" 💋💋