'Men judge generally more by the eye than by the hand, for everyone can see and few can feel.'

Court of Peter the Brave.

November 1st, 1004 CE.

The court was as luscious as any of the King's castles. Located somewhere in the South-East Of England, it was part of the booming society that was becoming the centre of their community. Despite their spread out districts, it was not uncommon for noblemen and women to visit court. Mostly to get noticed by the king but now that the king was married with a son, it was mostly the son than people lusted after- seeing now as he had made the ripe age of eighteen.

Erwin, for all his royal visits over the years, had never seen it decorated as richly as now. It was to be expected, he guessed, with it being today that was Nile's eighteenth birthday.

The silk ribbons that ordained the upper trim of the castle walls were all a deep, royal purple and the rugs rolled out, a handsome blue that was soft underfoot, even with his shoes on.

Erwin understood the extravaganza. Nile was the king's only son and the next in line to the throne. Their attempts at other children had ended in multiple miscarriages and stillbirths and Nile, although the first, was also the last. For that reason, the king doted on him. And it was also because of that that Nile was such a spoilt prince.

When Erwin had first seen the invitation, he had been so reluctant that he almost rejected it but after careful thought- and fear of being killed in his sleep- Erwin sent his messenger to give the king his letter of acceptance and that he would be there.

Erwin, for all it was worth, at least made it on time, despite his sour mood that had only grown over the six-hour journey down to the King's court. He was still the last to arrive, anyway. Well, actually, second to last but people tended to ignore the man that made it just behind him. He seemed much more leisurely about the affair, his dark hair groomed flawlessly and a snarl that was just as perfect. The man's name was Levi, they all knew that; although, not much more. He didn't give a last name, going by Lord Levi. Unfavourable family, Erwin assumed.

He didn't speak to the man as they exited their carriages, their steps matching, nor did he even catch his eye. People did not talk to Levi, it was commonplace. No doubt he was only here because the king was as oblivious as his son to the enemies within their ranks. It was up to the rest of them to set the trusting man in line.

Erwin made it inside with no time to spare and quickly greeted everyone he knew, Mike- his best friend- Nile and the rest of the nobles he had met at similar events. Nile, to his credit, had found a woman to take to this occasion who had not left his hip since Erwin had walked into the room. Marie, her name was. A lovely woman, Erwin soon found. And, for the first time in his life, someone who was glad to call herself Levi's friend.

She had bounced away from Nile and come back with a muttering black-haired man, saying something suspiciously like 'hag' to her. 'This is my friend, Levi.' She announced to the small group consisting of Nile, Mike, Erwin and a nobleman from the southwest, Moblit. Levi grumbled something else that Erwin couldn't pick up but hoped it was no throw at the prince- he could take an insult but it was clear that Prince Nile most definitely could not.

'It's nice to meet you, Levi.' Erwin greeted him with, doing his best to be kind even after he had heard so much about the man. He and Levi had been to many gatherings together but not once had they spoken. Only looked. Looked for suspiciously long times, in fact. Although, it seemed that neither of them realised that.

Levi suddenly turned his attention to Erwin rather than the floor, his face barely changing but Erwin could perceive the slight flash of surprise behind those eyes. Erwin did not know what he had done to cause that surprise but he assumed it was the courtesy he was showing. He suddenly felt sorry for the man, did no one show him any common courtesy?

'Nice to meet you too...'

'Erwin Smith.'

'Erwin.' Levi tested the words on his lips, a smile barely forming but a small twist of his lips gave Erwin enough information to know that the man was pleased with it. It didn't make much sense as to why that would be but he shrugged it off. No one else seemed keen to make conversation with him apart from Marie, whose jaw was now slack as she watched the exchange. He really must never get any common courtesy.

That was all Erwin was doing right? (He didn't realise until later when he was chastised by Marie, whom he still barely knew, that he was in no doubt flirting.)

'You don't like last names do you?' Erwin asked, a sly smile pulling at the corners of his mouth.

'No, in fact, I don't. Family names are not important. First names show that person, a family name only shows how unfortunate they are.' Erwin was surprised, for such a reserved man he looked like he had no qualms about opening up like this. The man's face remained neutral whilst Erwin could imagine the flush that would capture his face if he were to say something so meaningful at such a pitiful event. It seemed that Levi did not like to attend things that were of no use to him. It was an obligation to him, like it was to most people, really.

'I guess you are right, Levi.' Erwin smiled, finally letting go, finding the embarrassment faded as he looked at Levi. (Little did he know that Levi was, in fact, flirting with him too- even if he was rather bad at it).

An awkward silence fell as Levi and Erwin remained staring at each other, the others unsure of whether to pipe or not. Marie's mouth was still open, gaping like a fish. 'Would you like to dance?' Levi suddenly blurted, his lips moving faster than his mind could comprehend. Oh shit, he suddenly thought, he had already messed this up.

But, Erwin turned thoughtfully to the dancefloor in the middle of the room where a few couples mingled and danced to the background music. 'I would like that.' If Erwin had thought Marie couldn't get any more surprised, he had been wrong. She looked like she was about to speak but the words would not come out.

Erwin raised his arm and Levi took it, their height difference comical to most onlookers but neither of them cared. They were still staring at each other. 'I've heard a lot about you, Levi.' Erwin admitting, trying to make conversation, unwilling to continue only their staring contest.

'Have you? I guess you would, gossip spreads quickly. I assume not much good.' Levi did not seem distasteful to the statement, rather accepting, in fact. Levi had probably spent a lifetime listening to nobles criticise him for his introversion.

'I'm afraid not,' Erwin admitted, seeing no point in lying, 'but I'd like to hear the good.' Erwin smiled again, letting himself ease into their gentle movements, their bodies swaying together but not quite touching, their hands hovering just inches away from each other's.

'Maybe.' Levi shrugged, his ears tinting the slightest shade of red. But Erwin was an observant man, he would have seen it from a mile away. He was liking the effect he had on this man. He was beginning to like a lot of things about this man. And suddenly, he wondered what people didn't like about him? So far, he had seemed perfectly nice.

He didn't know he was getting the special treatment. Marie, whose mouth was still hanging open, was speaking to Nile. 'Has Levi not been possessed?' She asked, her eyebrows furrowing.

'I don't think so.'

'I have never seen him be this polite.'

'Neither have I.'

'He hasn't made a single awkward joke.'

'Or told him to fuck off.'

'He loves him.' She suddenly sounded so certain.

'I don't think...'

'No, he loves him.' She suddenly found herself smiling, looking at the pair with glistening eyes. Levi had been her friend for far longer than she would admit and never had he had any interest in her. He made it clear to her that he had no interest in women when she had made her move but she had almost begun to believe that he didn't have an interest in men either.

And now she was seeing it. Even if it hadn't flourished yet, she was seeing it. This was the seed of love. And she was going to water it with her life.

Erwin and Levi didn't notice her, though, too focused on each other to even see that Nile was trudging towards the guards to tell them the actual birthday celebrations would start in five minutes. This was his party, not Erwin and Levi's, he had to have the attention back on him. Nile was ever arrogant.

'You're a good dancer, Smith.' Levi complimented, his mouth barely moving as he spoke. It almost surprised Erwin but he was getting used to hearing the emotions in Levi's voice and not on his face. It was unsettling at first but he was already becoming adapted to it.

'I thought you didn't like last names?'

'Well, it suits you.' Levi admitted, that light red turning a shade darker.

'I'm glad you think so.' Erwin admitted, pushing himself closer to Levi, their hands almost intertwined: like magnets, drawn together but pulled apart by a man's will. The silence that fell was comfortable. They both continued to dance, even when the song stop and a new one replaced it. The lute was a gentle thrum in the background as they watched each other from the corners of their eyes, unable to admit that they were willing to stare for this long a time.

The height difference did not help the dance but neither of them paid attention to that. Whilst his back was upright, his legs were slightly bent without realising whilst Levi was tipped onto the balls of his feet. The compromise made for comedy to the spectators but felt so natural to them, as if they had known each other for far longer than an hour.

They were unfortunately interrupted by the ringing of the bells. The celebration was only just beginning. Levi sighed and Erwin withheld a chuckle at the sight of Levi's dismay at the thought of celebrating Nile's birthday.

'Are you not a fan of parties?' Erwin asked, pulling away from Levi to join the crowd that was gathering by the stairs.

'Did you think I was?' Levi raised an eyebrow suspiciously as Erwin's almost sinister smirk. He was teasing him, Levi realised. This may have been the first time that it didn't get on his nerves.

'Oh, Levi, you're the life of the party. A nobleman who is loved by all.' Erwin's smirk grew into a full grown smile, just short of a laugh. He was enjoying this far too much, Levi realised. Retaliation was key.

When they joined the crowd, Levi spoke again, his neutral face set back in place. 'Yes, I am. Have you not noticed?' Over the years, Levi has perfected the art of not moving one's face when speaking to keep a perfect facade of normality. And, it gave a certain type of satisfaction when he saw Erwin's eyes widen and his eyebrows raise.

'Erwin, how dare you think otherwise!' Levi raised his voice, his mouth still in a flat line but his speech a clear pitch higher. 'I am a well-respected noble. I am especially close with the king's son.' The imitation of the others bibles surrounding them was impeccable: petty, sly and bragging.

Erwin laughed, drawing the attention of the growing crowd. It was a surprise, Erwin did not laugh- he was too busy scheming, getting his way, manipulating. On top of that, no one laughed at Levi. No one talked to Levi, even. Apart from Marie who was rarely around. They were a pair made in hell. So opposite that no one could ever believe they would even notice each other. Talking, no doubt, was sinful. And sins, sins were taking very heavily.

Erwin and Levi, although both religious, prided themselves on the lack of fear about going to hell. They were braver than any other man, ready to sin for another man's redemption.

Maybe it was this that drew them together.

'Levi, what is your last name.' The question was sudden and unexpected, asked after too long a silence as the crowd chatted around them, waiting to see the king- who would give his speech and congratulate his son. And, more importantly, name his heir. And although people suspected it would be Nile, it wasn't common for a king to name his son his heir. It most likely would go to a cousin or a brother. But everyone saw how King Peter doted on Nile and it would raise no qualms for him to be next in line. Although most hoped it would be a very long time later. Nile, as most people had picked up, was a little too arrogant to become king yet.

'I don't tell people my last name.' Erwin picked up on the hostility immediately. Erwin tried to push through anyway.

'What is so wrong with your last name?'

'A lot of things.' Erwin decided to stop. The venomous look in Levi's eyes said it all: Erwin was not to push anymore. Erwin wouldn't. Levi was still dangerous, he had heard stories of him on the battlefield although he had never seen it.

Levi was blood-thirsty. It was the first reason people avoided him. No one knew his past but they knew it wasn't good. Levi was a mystery that many people didn't want to solve. Erwin did.

Erwin was sombre when the trumpets played, his face as impassive as Levi's. He had overstepped his boundary and although he didn't regret doing so, there was something nagging at him. Regret? Erwin rarely regretted anything. It was a good thing until he forgot what it felt like and the emotion was so confusing that all he could do was focus on the little voice saying that he should revert his actions. But Erwin wouldn't apologise. His pride would be damaged and Levi would only think less of him. He could see the stubbornness in Levi and he could see that Levi prized that in other people too.

Erwin was finding that he already knew a lot more about Levi than he was supposed to.

Yet, the tension between them was palpable. Erwin had taken the wrong turning and they had jumped back to square one.

Erwin hasn't realised he was so lost in thought until cheerful clapping reverberated around him. The king had finished his speech. Looking around, trying to hide his panic and surprise, he found Levi, still next to him, with a curious look on his face.

'Erwin?' Erwin turned to Levi, remembering to look down and not across.

'Yes, Levi?' He replied as if it was a question he had been asked and not a check on his sanity.

Levi didn't continue, seemingly happy with the answer. Their attention moved to the stage where Nile was now standing, Marie by his side. Both of them were a little disgruntled at having to listen to the birthday boys speech which emphasised his excellence and advancement- all of which was hyperbolic nonsense. Levi and Erwin took peeps at each other and watched as they sighed, gritted their teeth and withheld a laugh at the repetitive lies. Even Marie, who was on the makeshift stage, looked as if she was about to laugh. Although, the other nobles were gullible enough to be drawn into the lies. Most of them, anyway. It was a shame how many of the people with money had little more than a pea for a brain.

Another round of clapping later and they were free to join the party again, convening with friends and enemies and congregating on the dance floor. Places like these were perfect to gain status and brag, making and losing connections. Everyone was on their best behaviour.

Except for Levi. And, in turn, Erwin.

Neither of them had made any connections that night but each other. They were both happy with that.

Erwin, much to his chagrin, was approached by many. Despite Levi's constant presence, they seemed happy to ignore him and try and wrangle their way into the hierarchy. It's said that due to Nile and Erwin's close relationship that Erwin would become his right-hand man when Nile became king. He had a few other contesters, though, and was doubtful that he'd take the position.

Luckily for him, though, Levi didn't take lightly to being ignored, surprisingly. Apparently, he was perfectly happy to be overlooked in the corner but when approached and then utterly ignored, he became rather bitter.

People tended to run away after that.

When they were left alone again, the sun was nowhere in sight. Disoriented due to the early sunset, both Erwin and Levi made their way outside despite the strong gusts of wind and biting cold. Neither wanted to go back inside, though.

They stood in silence, mulling over their nights. Both had had very different experiences but in the end, it left the same thing. Something very unclear. 'Levi, I'm sorry about earlier. I shouldn't have pushed you about your family name.' Erwin apologised, his face sombre and serious. He really was sorry; he often pushed too far and as a result, ended with a few bad relationships but nevertheless got what he had intended to get. Levi was different. Levi was someone that he wasn't willing to hurt, for whatever reason.

'It's fine, just don't do it again.'

'Noted.' Silence fell again, thick and awkward. Neither of them knew that that was probably the hardest thing either of them had done. Erwin never apologised and Levi never accepted one. Both of them were too proud for that. But, here they were, making the impossible possible. For each other. Why were they so close already? It didn't make sense. They were running on instinct, that nagging that told them to not leave each other's side. Erwin always believed instincts were there for survival- he was beginning to change his mind. His instincts right now may have been leading to his downfall.

It was Erwin who broke the silence, unwilling to take it anymore. 'Why me?' Levi looked over, his cheeks chapped by the wind.

'What?'

'Why talk to me? Of all the people in the room, you decided to talk to me. Don't mistake me, I'm honoured. But why talk to me?' Erwin looked like he was trying to solve a puzzle. Levi didn't doubt that Erwin was a man that wouldn't settle for anything less than the truth. A thinker, strategist and warrior always had a quest for the truth and Erwin was all of those things.

'Because you didn't look down on me.' Levi admitted. He didn't know why he said it. It was the truth, yes, but it wasn't an admittable one. Erwin couldn't know all his secrets right away. He cursed his own mind, his own thoughts made it seem as if he were allowed to tell him at any point. Levi did not trust people and he certainly didn't do so so quickly.

Levi wasn't allowed to feel like this, to trust like this.

Suddenly, Levi wasn't shivering from the cold but from fear. Fear of his own impulses. Erwin spoke on, anyway, not perceiving the small change in Levi's behaviour. 'No one deserves to be looked down upon.' Levi didn't have an answer to that.

Another silence passed, both of them too distracted by their own thoughts to even recognise the tension. Erwin went to speak again but found no sensible words to say. Levi, on the other hand, didn't want to speak at all.

He settled on simple words. 'I should go now.' He gave no reason, no room for argument. Erwin didn't fight him, just nodded solemnly. Disappointed by the acceptance, Levi left, finding another reason to be annoyed at Erwin. After they had been so open with each other, Levi couldn't help but be bitter against the handsome man.

They were both terrified, that explained it all.

Erwin didn't leave the balcony for another quarter of an hour, staring at the stars above him like they were the most beautiful things in the world. He didn't speak aloud, fearful that someone might overhear, but the words in his mind were so prominent he was sure his ears were picking them up as sound.

'I'm an idiot.' He admitted first, looking up at the stars as a friend and not a foreigner. 'Levi and I are...not a pair. Levi doesn't do others, does he? Damn this, I care for him already, don't I? I can't hide it. He must know it, right? But, then again, he left. He didn't want to stay with me. True, the conversation was going nowhere.' Erwin sighed aloud, looking out over the fields surrounding the palace. 'I shouldn't overthink these things. Levi only did what I was thinking of doing.' He took a step back, nearing the door, taking one last view of the building. 'I guess the night's over and Levi's a stranger again. It was fun whilst it lasted.' Erwin hadn't realised he said the last sentence aloud until it was too late. Spinning hastily, he checked for any onlookers. He would rather not be labelled a madman. The area was deserted. Erwin was just paranoid.

Erwin trundled back inside, his face downcast and sorrowful. No one seemed to take notice, though, as they flocked to him- glad to see Levi gone. But Erwin didn't feel like talking. Suddenly, he hoped that Levi had stayed and would be able to save him.

He wasn't. He was already in his carriage on the way home.

Erwin didn't have the heart nor the confidence to walk away from his partners in conversation, joining talks of politics and weddings, putting on his best smile. All for the sake of his reputation. Reputation above sanity. Sanity, Erwin found himself thinking, was something he trusted would always be there. A simple chat could not diminish that.

At the moment, that thought was already beginning to be overruled.

'Oh, I am so sorry! I must get home, I am meeting someone tomorrow and I must get back!' Erwin interrupted as soon as the man he was talking to paused, feigning panic, the lie rolling off of his tongue. He had picked the perfect time. The man looked too shocked to ask any questions as Erwin strode off, nor did he look annoyed.

Erwin had a presence that few people had the heart to hate. Maybe that's what happened to Levi. No, he needed to stop thinking about Levi.

Erwin's carriage was just where the driver left it, the driver himself smoking a pipe from his seat. Erwin didn't say a word, opening the door and throwing himself into the cabin, slamming the door to tell the driver that he had arrived. He was glad when he heard no questions and the carriage began to move, he would only explode. Erwin's temper was not something that could be broken easily but with his mind in such a state of disarray, he wasn't surprised that he was coming to the end of his tether.

All because of Levi.

He knew Levi wasn't a good thing. Levi was a poison, tricking his mind into something it wasn't. His personality was changing, adapting to fit Levi into his life. He didn't want this. He didn't need this...this weakness.

Erwin grunted, hitting his head against the back of the carriage, hoping the shock might regain some of his rationality. Nothing happened. His head became only fuzzier.

Erwin gave up, ignoring his thoughts. He fell asleep soon after, letting his defences down. He wouldn't remember the dreams anyway.

That night, he dreamed of Levi and in the morning, for the first time ever, he remembered what he dreamed of.

word count: 4012

published: 21.11.17