It was hard keeping a smile on my face today, my eyes unable to hold the joy that I normally felt when I saw Carnival show up in front of me. I'd tried so hard to not let him see but he always was far too observant, just as he had been when I'd spotted him at one of his other jobs.

Of course, that time it had been a good thing, since it meant he had spotted the signs of the panic attack before it had gone too far and he'd pulled me into a quieter area for me to deal with my anxiety. When the owner had come upon us while searching for the clown he'd hired, it had only taken a quick look at my tear-streaked face and shuddering breaths to realize why Carnival had vanished, even if he seemed to give a grumble about hurrying back before too much more time passed.

But today? Today I hadn't wanted him to notice there was anything off, not wanted to have to explain what was happening to me with the man I had come to view as one of the only friends I had left in this city. I'd managed to avoid talking about it thus far, letting him think that the anxiety attacks were the only reason I came to this hospital so often. Yeah, I could pretend that was what I was dealing with right now, but the thought of doing so left a bad taste in my mouth and I knew that if he said anything... if he asked me, I would finally tell him the truth.

"Hey, did something happen?" I wanted to cry when I heard the words come from his lips, certain sounds faded or missing and leaving just enough behind to know what he'd asked me.

Nodding, I looked down into my lap and uncurled my fingers from around the slip of paper, slowly smoothing out the creases that had formed. Lifting it up, I watched as he took the note from my hands and began slowly scanning the page, his forehead creasing in concentration.

"What does this mean?" He questioned me, lowering the note and pointing at one of the sentences.

"It means I've lost more of my hearing and it hasn't stopped getting worse. They want to up my medicine again, but every time they do that, I keep ending up sick. I... Sometimes I wonder if the doctor is trying to help me or if he's more interested in keeping me quiet," I whispered softly, my hands shaking as I took the note back from him.

"But why wouldn't he want to help you? Your so nice, surely he would want to make you better," he said, the look in his eyes leaving me staring at him for a moment before I leaned so close I could feel the warmth of his skin.

"Because the person who did this to me is the one paying for everything and he'll keep paying only as long as I don't tell anyone what he did. Even if I didn't take the medicine, I can't afford the tests I need each week," I barely breathed the words into his ear before pulling back and looking into his eyes.

"Then why did you tell me?" He looked confused as his lips turned down, leaving only the painted smile on his face.

"I... I feel like, out of everyone I've met, I don't have to worry that you'll hurt me. I don't even know if I can trust my doctor, but... I trust you, Carnival. Even if you think I'm silly for it, I trust you." I took a shuddering breath as I leaned back in the chair, my hands trembling in my lap.

"You can call me Arthur. That's my name, I mean. Carnival is just my clown name," he said, his voice dropping a little as he looked down toward the white tiles that blanketed the floor. "You don't have to if you don't want to."

"Arthur," I said as I looked up at him, sticking the note into my pocket as I stood up. "I like that. Arthur suits you very well."

"Your name suits you, too."