I woke up the next morning expecting to see sky blue walls, but instead, I saw mint green walls and completely different furniture.

I also expected to wake up to Minato telling me that Kakashi, Obito, Rin, and I had a mission.

But no, this is real life.

They aren't here anymore and I don't stay in my old bedroom anymore. I stay in Minato and Kushina's old room since I needed more room and I couldn't bring myself to move out of this house. 

My old bedroom is used as a guest or storage room, but I don't have very many guests so it's mainly a storage room now. 

Since I had a dream of Obito again, I was going to go visit him again. I missed him more than usual today and he keeps appearing in my dreams more lately.

I quickly got ready and rushed to the cemetery.

When I got there, there were a few other people here visiting other headstones and I walked over to Obito's. 

"I know I just saw you yesterday, but I had to come visit you again. I miss you so much..." I trailed off.

Tears started to fall down my cheeks.

"Words can't describe how much I miss you. You've left a hole in my heart and no one else will be able to fill it but you," I sigh, wiping the tears away. "Sometimes I just wish something could take me away so I can be up there with you, but I know you probably wouldn't want that," 

More tears came pouring down.

I couldn't get that dream about him out of my head.

My dream always gave me haunting memories of the day we got together or the days we used to go do everything together. But this time, the dream I had of him was the one where we had our first kiss.

I'd do anything just to feel his lips against mine again.

I attempted to calm myself down by taking deep breaths and looked up. I wiped some more tears away.

But then when I looked back down, I saw a black figure in the tree above me.

I looked back up again, but that figure was gone. 

Maybe I'm just seeing things.

I said my goodbyes to Obito's headstone and left the cemetery. 

Everyone tells me that he would want me to move on and be happy, but I can't do that. No one else makes me feel the way he made me feel and no one else compared to him.

I didn't have anything else to do, so I just went to the bookstore and I saw Kakashi in the back. I rose an eyebrow.

"Kakashi, you used to roll your eyes at me for even liking the Makeout series," I said, making him jump a little. "Now you're out here reading them?"

He grabbed one of the books off the shelves and he looked over at me. 

"I like it for the plot," 

"You're a guy. Do you think I'm stupid?" 

He didn't reply and I smirked.

"You're here for the same thing, aren't you?" He cleared his throat.

"No, actually. I'm here for a different book by a different author," I said. "I just saw you back here and decided to mess with you,"

"What book?" Kakashi asked me.

"I heard about this book called 'Shiver' so I wanted to check that out," I replied. 

He nodded and I could tell he was feeling awkward right now since I caught him off guard and at a bad time.

"I'll see you around, I need to go find it," I said.

He nodded and started walking towards the front counter. I walked around the bookstore trying to find the story I wanted to read. 

Once I found it, I paid for it and walked out.

I didn't have anything planned today, so I figured I could stay at home and read.

I rushed home so I could change into some leggings and a sweater, then immediately sat down on a big round chair I bought for the living room. I immediately started reading the story and I was really into it.

The author even changed the color of the words on the pages to match the color of the cover. 

Just when the story was about to start getting good, there was a knock on my front door. I was a bit irritated, but also confused since I normally don't have people coming over. 

I put a bookmark on the page I was on and walked over to the door.

I rose an eyebrow when I saw who was at the door.

"Kakashi?"

"Sorry for coming over this late," He said.

I looked over at the clock and was taken aback. 

"How is it seven already?" I asked, "I was reading and I didn't realize how much time had passed,"

I invited him inside and I shut the door behind him.

"Did you want anything to drink?"

"No, I'm okay. I just wanted to come by since I thought we should catch up some more," He replied.

I nodded and he sat down on the couch and I took my seat on the oversized chair again.

He looked around and I could tell he was reminiscing about the memories here. 

"I managed to keep this place in shape after they...passed," I spoke. "I found out they were close to paying off this house, so I decided I would pay it off and just stay here permanently,"

He nodded. 

"The people who owned this house previously also felt bad for me, so they gave me a break and let me make payments when I turned into an adult. I saved up when I went on missions and that's how I paid it off pretty quick,"

"I'm actually glad you have this house still," Kakashi said. "Because a lot of our memories are tied to this house and its kind of comforting to be able to see it again,"

"It really is," I agreed. "That's why I don't ever plan on moving out. I'm staying here and I haven't really changed much here. I just bought some new furniture when the old ones wore out and remodeled a few things that needed to be changed,"

Kakashi and I changed the subject and he started telling me about some of his experiences with the ANBU. I then told him about how I found myself at a very low point in my life in my early adulthood and tried my best to get out of the hole I dug for myself.

Occasionally I go back into that hole, but it's rare. 

I didn't exactly tell him what that hole was and I don't plan to. Kurenai and Anko were the only ones who knew because they tried to help me. I pushed Anko and Kurenai away. Now, they pretend they don't even know me. 

I miss them deeply. 

I wish there was a way for me to go back in time and make myself accept their help.