Osmond held open the door for Carmen, grinning as the boy flushed pink and past him without a word. "Most people say thank you when a handsome boy opened a door for them," Osmond teased, pressing two fingers into the small of Carmen's back and urging him forwards toward the please wait to be seated sign.

"Most men say thank you when an attractive blonde blows their dick," Carmen shot back, but it was said quietly and his cheeks were still scarlett.

Laughing loudly, Osmond smiled down at the other boy, who looked up at him with an expression he could only describe as adoring.

Since the night before, which was filled with more passion and emotion that Osmond had ever felt before, they had been different. Carmen seemed more nervous around him, blushing more, but also smiling more, and Osmond had spent nearly the entire day teasing him, which was something he didn't do. To anyone. Not even Adrian.

A clearing throat interrupted them and Carmen jumped, making a soft squeaking noise and taking a step towards Osmond, his small fingers fisting the fabric of the others dress shirt.

"I-" the waitress looked alarmed at how easily startled Carmen was. "I'm sorry sir-"

Osmond grasped Carmen's hips protectively and looked down at the boy, who in his embarrassment ducked his head and pressed it into Osmond's arm. Looking back up at the waitress, Osmond couldn't control his smile.

"It's okay". Carmen snuggled into him more. "I feel like I should actually thank you".

"Shut up," Carmen mumbled, his voice muffled, but Osmond could feel lips curve into a smile against his arm.

"Table for two, please," Osmond asked at the girl in front of them, who was probably around their age now that he thought about it, blinked her wide eyes and then nodded quickly.

"Follow me". Grabbing two menus as she turned and began to lead them through the restaurant. It took some coaxing to get Carmen to release his shirt and walk without clinging to him, which made it difficult to them both. When Carmen finally let go, he walked with his head turned down, his cheeks extremely pink.

He only raised his head once they were seated and the waitress had left to get their waters. "I sounded like a woman," Carmen said, lifting his menu and looking over it.

"That's kind of how you sound when I fuck you," Osmond said, trying to fight his smirk but failing miserably. Carmen dropped his menu then and began to rub at his red cheeks.

"Stop saying things to embarrass me," Carmen whined, but he was also smiling so Osmond didn't take it to heart. "By the end of this trip we're going to be able to write reviews for damn near every Italian restaurant in the east".

"As long as you're eating, I'm content," Osmond claimed, closing his menu and looking at the boy in front of him instead. "How are your fingers?"

They had finished performing over two hours ago, there were still small dents in Carmen's fingers from where he had been applying pressure to the strings of his violin. It did not typically happen, Carmen claimed, but since it was their longest performance yet, and Carmen was no longer practicing on a regular basis, his fingers had begun to hurt.

Looking down at his left hand, Carmen rubbed his fingers together. "It's fine". Osmond reached across the table, gripping his hand and then pulling it towards him to inspect the boy's short, but delicate fingers.

"Here are your-" the waitress cut off at the sight of Osmond cradling Carmen's hand, her skin flushing red and Carmen quickly pulled back. "Waters," the girl finished, setting the two glasses down in front of them. "Um... are you ready to order?"

She seemed embarrassed that she was constantly interrupting moments that seemed to be intimate, and refused to meet either of their eyes, even as they ordered.

When she left, Carmen turned to him, his expression very curious. "How come you always order spaghetti with alfredo sauce?" Osmond could remember Ezra asking him this very same question multiple times, and getting angry at him for it, but for some reason it didn't bother him that Carmen wanted to know.

"My mom used to make it," Osmond admitted. "It's my favorite". Carmen smiled hesitantly, dropping his eyes to the table. "What?"

"Are you okay getting Italian food all the time? I don't want you to get sick of your favorite because you eat it every night," Carmen explained and Osmond felt his lips pull up.

"I'll never get sick of it," but then he thought for a second longer, "maybe we could try something else tomorrow though". Carmen's laugh was sweet and light. "What else do you like?"

"I like French fries," Carmen said quickly and Osmond could recall scolding the younger one day at lunch back in Florida for calling a tray filled with the greasy sticks lunch.

"I remember that," Osmond said. "What else?"

"I like chicken fried rice a lot," he said after a moment of thought. "And watermelon".

"I think we can find something," Osmond declared and Carmen smiled before looking away from him, out the window at the city.

Osmond went back to staring at Carmen, not caring if the other boy noticed.

In all honesty, Osmond was a bit nervous. He really liked Carmen, this became extremely clear to him over the past week, and he wasn't used to having feelings for someone who might possiably return them, which, after the night before, he was sure there had to be something there.

But before he could say anything to Carmen about his feelings, he'd have to tell him the truth about his parents. It would be unfair to get Carmen to fall in love with him and then reveal to the other how fucked up he actually was.

He didn't know how or when to do it. Is it just something you say over dinner, pretending it's casual, or do you make a big deal out of it?

Before he could give it more thought, Carmen asked a question that he wouldn't have expected from the boy. "Have you ever been in love?" He asked, his voice soft and Osmond blinked in surprise.

"Um," Osmond said, averting his eyes as he breathed out, "yeah," softly. When he looked back at Carmen, the boy didn't seem surprised.

"With who?" He asked, fidgeting with his straw for a moment before removing it from its wrapper. Carmen had this look on his face, as if he was incredibly interested but was pretending not to be. "Adrian?" The way he said it had Osmond wondering if he was actually jealous, but he didn't ask.

"Uh, yeah," Osmond said, chewing his lower lip and hoping not to say something that would completely ruin his chances with Carmen.

"Why?"

Why? Why has he been in love with Adrian?

Pressing his lips together, Osmond watched Carmen closely, not answering.

"Do you still love him?"

Did he?

"It's more complicated than that," Osmond said, his voice low. "Adrian was really the only one who talked to me my first few months of high school, and I just got attached to him. It was the same year he met Ezra though, and they were just... perfect together so I tried to put it behind me". Carmen was nodding slowly, but Osmond wasn't completely finished. "I fell in love with him my sophomore year". Carmen turned his head up then, surprised.

"So you weren't able to put it behind you?"

"Not at that point, no," Osmond said before beginning to explain. "Ezra had just started college and declared himself an English major. Adrian was really happy about this because- have I told you how they met?"

Carmen blinked in surprise at the sudden subject change but shook his head. "They always knew who the other was. It was hard not to know Adrian, he was just friendly and cute, and Ezra was our star soccer player, so he was well known too. Anyways, Ezra absolutely hated Adri but he was failing language arts and needed a tutor so Adrian stepped up and..." Osmond trailed off and Carmen finished the sentence for him.

"They fell in love?"

"Precisely. But so that's why Adrian was so happy Ezra decided to be an English major," Osmond pressed his lips together, trying to remember what he had been talking about before explaining how the two had met. "Oh! Yeah, but as an English major, Ezra had a lot of books to read and papers to write, so he didn't have much time for Adrian anymore, and Adrian's best friend Helen had just gotten together with a friend of Ezra's, Landon, so they were together all the time. The only person left to take care of Adrian was me, and so I did, and after spending that much time with him I just fell in love with him".

Carmen swallowed, looking a bit annoyed. "Did he really need someone to take care of him?"

"Adrian was..." Osmond began, shaking his head slowly, "he could be really happy and bubbly, and was most of the time, but he could sometimes be like me before the antidepressants". Osmond stopped talking then as Carmen's eyes widened.

"Antidepressants?"

"We're not talking about me," Osmond said quickly. It wasn't really something he wanted to bring up unless he absolutely had to, which would only happen if during their trip one of his episodes happened. They were rather uneventful, but Osmond would have to explain to Carmen why he just couldn't get out of bed. Even on the pills, those days never went away; they were just less frequent.

Carmen's mouth opened to protest his subject change but Osmond was already talking about Adri again. "He had these periods of time when Ezra wasn't around where he'd just stay at home and stop dressing and acting like himself. Sometimes I'd catch him smoking again and he'd always insist it was the last one in the box and he wouldn't go and buy more".

"He smoked?"

"Sometimes," Osmond said, looking down at his water glass.

"It doesn't sound healthy," Carmen said suddenly, "needing to rely on someone else so heavily for your happiness".

"That's why I thought they didn't belong together for a long time. I thought that it was Ezra's fault that Adrian was like that, but I realized I was wrong".

"Were you?" Carmen asked, sounding weary.

"I was". Osmond shook his head slowly. "Ezra's kind of like Adri's antidepressants. He makes him so unconditionally happy that when he's not around, Adrian just goes back to the person he was before Ezra, though before Ezra he had only been sullen when he was at home, and now it's all the time. It's like me and antidepressants. I feel better when I'm on them, and when I'm not, I don't. In the end, they're still good for me". Carmen was biting his lip, probably wanting to bring up the antidepressant thing again.

Instead he asked, "how did you end up realizing this?"

Sighing, Osmond leaned back in his seat, turning his head to look around the restaurant. "I helped them move into their apartment, and the entire afternoon, Adrian was practically glowing with happiness. It was really distracting to Ezra, so I had to do most of the work, but I decided then that any man who could make him that happy every single time they were together couldn't be bad for him". Osmond took a sip of his drink then, his head still tilted so he could watch their waitress carry their food over to them. Before she got there he said one last thing. "I had never made him that happy before".

Carmen, who was also looking at the waitress, turned to him quickly, as if alarmed, and Osmond just smiled sadly, leaning back so the girl could set his food in front of him.

Carmen waited to speak until she was gone. "When did they get an apartment together?"

"Ezra's first year of college," Osmond said, a bit distracted by his food.

"How old was Adrian then?"

"Well," Osmond said, grabbing a breadstick from the basket in the middle of the table and dipping it in the alfredo sauce on his plate, "he was a junior, so probably seventeen".

Carmen, who was twirling his fork in his noodles, looked up at him surprised. "Seventeen?" Osmond only nodded, sure he had made himself clear enough the first time. "Why would his parents even let him do that?"

Adrian Vang was a very complicated topic, Osmond was just beginning to realize, but he sighed and started telling Carmen anyway.

"Adrian didn't have a good family life," he explained and Carmen pursed his lips. "I'm not saying that his situation is worse than yours or anything".

"I wasn't thinking that," Carmen said quickly, flushing pink. "I'm sorry. I don't know why I feel the need to compete with him".

Osmond smiled at this and raised his breadstick to his mouth, biting it and chewing thoughtfully.

Carmen still clearly wanted to talk about this, since he asked, "by bad family life what do you mean?"

Osmond swallowed quickly. "His parents didn't support the fact that he was gay, so they didn't talk to him or acknowledge his presence".

"Oh," Carmen said softly, and when Osmond looked up at him the boy looked guilty. "I shouldn't have made assumptions".

"You're such a strange person," Osmond said without really thinking. Carmen seemed to be deciding where or not to be offended so Osmond said, "it's a good thing!" Quickly.

"Why do you mean, strange?" Carmen asked, narrowing his eyes and Osmond sighed, closing his own.

"You're so compassionate and... I don't know. You're a real human. You feel bad for doing things that are unfair instead of continuing to do it. Like, you apologized for making assumptions that you had made in your head and I couldn't be sure that you were making. You're just unique," Osmond said, hoping that he was making sense. When he opened his eyes, Carmen was just staring at him, his brown eyes glassed over as if he was going to cry.

He didn't.

"So," Carmen began, clearing his throat, "are you worried about Adrian now, when he's away from Ezra?"

Happy for the conversation change, Osmond eagerly jumped on the topic, though at this point, he'd much rather be talking about Carmen than Adrian.

No, Osmond supposed, I don't think I'm still in love with Adrian Vang.

***

The second they got back to the hotel room, Osmond when to sit on the couch, his nerves causing his food to jump in his stomach. "Are you okay?" Carmen asked immediately, sitting next to him and pressing a hand against his forehead. "I'll go get you some wat-"

And then Osmond said it. What he had been thinking about saying all night, and Carmen froze at the sound of the truth he had been asking to hear for so long, but when he looked back at Osmond he didn't look happy to hear it.

"What?"

With a shake you voice, Osmond repeated himself. "My father killed my mother".

And then there was silence again, and Osmond looked away from the other boy, directing his eyes onto the floor.

"What do you mean-"

"My father stabbed my mother to death, and he now lives in a prison back in Wisconsin".

"I thought you said both of your parents were de-"

"He's dead to me," Osmond elaborated, and then they sat in silence for what felt like a long time.

"Are you okay?"

"Am I okay?" Osmond repeated, sounding more annoyed than he meant to and Carmen's eyes widened. Sighing, Osmond gently wrapped his fingers around Carmen's wrist. "I'm never going to be okay again".

"Why did he...?" Carmen trailed off and Osmond looked away quickly.

"I don't know what the exact reason was," Osmond mumbled. "All I remember is coming home and-" is voice stopped working then.

"You weren't there, were you?" Carmen asked and Osmond shook his head slowly.

"Not during, but after. I saw... enough". He most definitely had. "I'm never going to be okay, Carmen. I'm never going to be normal".

"Why are you telling me this?" Carmen asked, his voice still soft. At some point, the boy had removed his wrist from Osmond's hand and instead put his hand there.

"Because you need to know". His voice cracked and he cleared it. "Before you start to think... more of me. I didn't want to be deceiving-"

"Did you believe that I'd think less you you because of this?" Carmen asked and out of the corner of Osmond's eye he could see the boy staring at him. "Oz, look at me". When he didn't, Carmen grasped his face and turned it towards him. "Osmond," was all he said before sitting forward and kissing the black haired boy.

Osmond's eyes widened and he pulled back. Carmen's cheeks were flushed, but he was still holding his face between his hands.

There were so many things that Osmond could say. Why are you kissing me? Why aren't you looking at me like everyone else has looked at me?

But instead he stupidly said, "we don't have a performance tomorrow," before realizing that it could be taken as rejection.

Luckily, Carmen didn't see it that way and grinned, throwing his leg around Osmond's waist so he was straddling him. "I know," and then they were kissing again.

Osmond wanted to pull back and ask the boy what this meant for them, but didn't want to risk it, so he instead eagerly kissed him back, allowing Carmen to part his lips and take control for once.

Slowly, Carmen flicked his tongue against Osmond's, drawing a moan from the back of his throat. Before Osmond could return the action, Carmen was kissing the corner of his mouth and then trailing his lips down to Osmond's neck. Unable to stop himself, Osmond tilted his head, allowing better access for the younger boy who chuckled and nipped at his neck playfully.

"Carmen, I," Osmond began, but he broke up with a loud moan as Carmen began to roll his hips on top of his, slowly and seductively. "Carmen".

"I love how you say my name," Carmen whispered against his neck before sucking the skin between his teeth.

Groaning, Osmond's hands clamped down on Carmen's waist, controlling how the boy moved above him and Carmen began panting against his neck. "Are you okay?" Osmond asked, and Carmen sat back, his eyes dark and lust filled as he looked down at him.

"Can we go to the bedroom?"

Happy to comply, Osmond gripped the back of Carmen's thighs, lifting him as he stood and carrying the other to the bedroom.

He felt so submissive, following the orders of a smaller boy who was usually the one following his demands, but it was a nice change for once.

When Osmond dropped Carmen down onto his feet, the younger looked rather amused at this, gripping the front of Osmond's shirt as he looked down at him hopelessly.

"What now?" Osmond whispered, gulping as Carmen began to unbutton his shirt with somehow steady fingers. Smirking and looking so sexy that Osmond nearly came right then, Carmen parted his lips to demand something of him.

"Take your pants off".

Osmond rushed in doing this, probably looking like a fool but not caring as Carmen looked at him, standing in the middle of the room wearing boxers and an unbuttoned shirt with those eyes.

"Lay down".

God. Osmond couldn't help but think Carmen, telling him what to do was the sexiest thing he's ever experienced.

Obeying, he laid across the bed and Carmen looked pleased. "You're so submissive," the blonde said, running his hands up Osmond's bare legs for a moment before stepping back and removing his own clothes until he was completely bare. "We're not going to have sex". Carmen climbed on top of Osmond, straddling his thighs.

"We're not?" Osmond asked in a shaky voice as Carmen teasingly palmed the front of Osmond boxers before hooking his fingers past the waistband and pulling it down.

"We are not". Carmen shifted up Osmond's body until their hips were pressed together, their members rubbing together sloppily. A desperate moan left Osmond's lips at this action and Carmen grinned, looking rather evil before wrapping a small hand around the both of them, holding their members together as he stroked.

Carmen whimpered at his own ministrations and Osmond's eyes rolled back as he bucked his hips up into the other's hand.

This continued for sometime until Carmen was panting and twitching with sensitivity, his hand slick with both of their precum.

"Oz, please," Carmen gasped, and Osmond didn't know what he was asking, since both of their orgasms were currently in Carmen's hands. "Osmond, your hands are bigger".

And just incase he didn't understand, Carmen grasped Osmond's hand and pulled it to replace his own.

They worked together, their hands moving in synch, Osmond's hand wrapped around Carmen's smaller one.

Even though there was minimal effort involved, Carmen's body was covered in a thin layer of sweat and he straddled Osmond's thighs. His pink lower lip was pulled sexily between his white teeth, and his spread thighs were covered in purple hickies from the night before.

Wanting to see the boy's face as he came undone, Osmond quickened his strokes, watching in awe as Carmen's mouth dropped open. "Grab my shoulders," Osmond demanded, once again taking control and Carmen just nodded, pulling his hand out from underneath Osmond's and gripping his defined shoulders, digging his fingernails into the unblemished skin.

Osmond sat up then, throwing Carmen off balance, causing him to tighten his hold on Osmond's shoulders. The older boy shifted Carmen onto him more comfortably, this time with the boy's legs wrapped around his waist as he sat, and continued to jerk them off. In this position he could duck his head and lap his tongue against Carmen's nipple, which had the boy crying out loudly.

"More more more," the younger one demanded and Osmond couldn't help but to agree, moving his hand even faster and gently biting into the bud.

That was the deciding factor that had Carmen's body shaking against his, and Osmond pulled back quickly to watch the reaction, allowing it to bring him to his own orgasm as he continued to stroke both of them.

When he was finished, Carmen slumped against Osmond's chest, filling sliding his arms around his shoulders. "That was amazing," he said and Osmond could only grunt in agreement, sliding his arms around Carmen's waist so he could roll over and flip the boy under him.

"We should just sleep like this," Osmond said, closing his eyes and Carmen chuckled, pressing a kiss to the top of his head.

"Oz, we need to brush our teeth".

Typically he was very serious about his teeth, but right then, he could care less. Nothing would be separating him from Carmen. "No".

"Osmond, we need to clean ourselves off".

"No".

"We're going to get sticky".

"I don't care, Carmen".

It was quiet then, the only sound in the room being both of them trying to control their labored breathing.

Then, minutes later, just before Osmond was just about to fall asleep, Carmen muttered, "okay baby," and Osmond's heart fluttered. "Okay".