Carmen should have been worrying about his performance that was in less than five minutes. He should be be freaking out as he usually did before he got on stage, but he couldn't bring himself to care about it.

All he could worry about was...

I'm not a virgin anymore.

It really didn't feel that different. Being a virgin and not being one.

Walking hurt, and he feared (or hoped maybe?) that his relationship with Osmond would be different, but on the inside he didn't feel any different.

"Are you feeling okay?" Osmond asked and Carmen blinked, coming back to his senses and turning to Osmond, who was looking down at him with a blank expression.

"I'm fine. Why do you ask?" Carmen asked. They hadn't talked much over the past hour, though they had been in a rush.

"I don't-" Carmen just then noticed that Osmond was holding his phone and when he looked at the screen he could clearly see Keith's name. "Your brother does. Why doesn't he just text you?"

"Because he knows that I'd never bring my cellphone on stage with me. Put that thing away, please," Carmen said and Osmond blinked at him slowly before sliding his phone into his pocket. "Did you turn it off?"

"Why would I?" Osmond asked, looking ahead to the stage where the state band had finally finished after a thirty minute set and was exiting on the opposite end. That meant they had less than two minutes before they had to go on.

"Because... because what if it goes off?" Carmen asked and Osmond looked amused by this.

"It's on silence".

"But it still buzzes," Carmen pointed out and Osmond raised his eyebrows, apparently still not getting the point.

"It does," Osmond agreed.

"Doesn't that distract you?" Carmen asked. He could recall one of his first concerts, which would have been back in elementary school, when his small flip phone had spent the entire time buzzing in his pocket. Multiple mistakes had been made and afterwards he had been scowled heavily by his mother and sent to his room. Without dinner.

"I think you're overestimating how often it goes off," Osmond said with this new undertone of playfulness that he was apparently using now. "Not many things can distract me, anyways". Carmen averted his eyes when Osmond looked at him as if he was one of the things that could.

Osmond had been different all- well, for the hour they had been awake. Where they hadn't talked a lot, when they did it was a different kind of talking. Osmond seems lighter, less uptight. Maybe, Carmen considered, this was good for him. Sex had made Osmond less bitter.

What fun.

"Would you like me to turn it off?" Osmond asked, and Carmen was about to say no but Osmond had already withdrawn his phone from his pocket and switched turned off. "There".

"Uh- thank-"

"Next for your tonight is-" began from the stage and Carmen swallowed, his hand tightening on the neck of his violin.

"Hey," Osmond said, his voice soft now as Carmen chewed on his lip. "We're going to do great". When Osmond said we're it took some of the pressure off of him, making him relax just a little as a hand was placed in the small of his back and gently lead him forward onto the stage.

***

"I feel bad," Carmen whispered, leaning into Osmond's side so he could be heard. The seating section of the auditorium was dimly lit so they could barely see each other's faces, but they could still talk as long as they kept it quiet.

"For?" Osmond asked in return, shifting a bit in his chair. Carmen felt almost un-natural sitting next to him. Where Carmen was slumped down in his chair, Osmond sat straight, as if they were still performing.

"I get all the credit," he said and Osmond turned his head slightly to the side, his grey eyes looking almost silver as he gazed down at Carmen for a moment before redirecting his attention back towards the flutist on stage.

"You deserve all of the credit".

"I do not," Carmen said, a bit louder than he should have. The man on the other side of Osmond leaned around him to glare and Carmen sunk further into his seat. If it weren't for Osmond's soft chuckle that he was sure he'd die of humiliation. "Why are we even still here?"

"I like to critique the other piano players and think about how I could play the piece better," Osmond said and Carmen slapped his arm.

"You do not". Osmond was silent. "Please tell me you do not".

"I do. I can't help it". They were quiet until the end of the song, and then Osmond was nudging his side again for attention. "You want to go get dinner?"

"Dinner?" Carmen repeated slowly, but Osmond was already standing and gesturing for him to do so as well.

Since they were performers they got an aisle seat so they could slip in after they played and had minimal interruptions. It also made for an easy exit.

Osmond held the door open for him without seeming to realize it and Carmen fought to keep his cheeks from flushing. Ultimately he failed and ended up looking like a tomato.

"Where will we get dinner. We don't know any place around here," Carmen said, swinging his violin case back and forth. "Except-"

"Were not getting pancakes again, Carmen," Osmond said without looking at him and Carmen sighed loudly.

How did Osmond, a boy he had known for barely a month, already understand him more than half of his family?

Carmen sighed and shook his head, peeking up at Osmond from the corner of his eye. "Are we just going to keep walking?"

"Yes," Osmond said shortly. "Can you eat anything besides chocolate?" There was a pause. "You like pasta".

"I do," Carmen agreed. "Did Keith tell you that I only liked to eat chocolate?" Osmond shrugged. "I'm picky, not that picky".

"Well what are you hungry for now?" Osmond asked, stopping at the end of the sidewalk and looking both ways before crossing the street.

"I'm not really sure". Carmen felt his stomach flutter with nerves at the look of impatience Osmond gave him. "I could eat something with noodles".

Without a word Osmond turned to him and took out his phone. They were standing close, just on the edge of the sidewalk, and Carmen who nearly tripped over the curb put a hand on Osmond's bicep. Either he didn't notice or didn't care because there was no change on Osmond's face as he looked down at his phone. Keeping his hand pressed against Osmond's hot skin, he pushed himself up onto the tips of his toes to get a view of the others phone screen.

"What are you looking for?" Carmen asked and Osmond scrolled through the map on his phone quickly.

"The fastest way to get there," Osmond mumbled and Carmen tilted his head to the side to look up at him.

His black hair was tangled and Carmen wanted to reach out and feel the softness of it again. His pale skin was tinted pink, most likely due to the wind that was constantly blowing across his face. With slightly parted lips and grey eyes, Carmen thought Osmond looked too good to be true. Why would a boy this attractive agree to travel with him when he could have stayed back and modeled if he pleased?

Why would someone like Osmond have sex with someone like him?

And that's when the idea first occurred to Carmen, but he quickly pushed it to the back of his mind.

"Get where?" Carmen whispered, his breath catching in his throat and Osmond's fingers paused on the screen of the phone.

"To the Italian place". Carmen took a step to the side then, releasing Osmond's arm and wondering what the hell had gotten into him.

"You found one?"

"It's not far," Osmond said as his response, looking around and then up at the street signs, reading the names out loud.

Turns out it wasn't far, just on the other side of the block. When they walked in, Carmen felt a bit underdressed, even though he was wearing his concert cloths, and ducked behind Osmond, who seemed to be a total ease.

"Table for two?" The server at the front asked and Osmond glanced to the side, and then over his shoulder at Carmen as if checking to see if he was still there.

"That'd be fine, thank you".

They followed her towards the back of the restaurant where there was a table for two next to the window. Osmond sat without a word but Carmen made sure to thank the girl as she handed him the menu's, still staring at Osmond as if she was waiting for him to notice her.

This surprisingly bothered Carmen and he dismissed her quickly.

Osmond didn't seem to pick up on these kinds of things. Hints weren't understood by him and it was both pleasing (that he hadn't noticed their waitresses hungry gaze) and frustrating (that he still had yet to look up at Carmen after a minute of him clearing his throat loudly.

"Do you do that on purpose?" Carmen couldn't help but ask, and it was as if he he had been expecting the question because Osmond answered immediately.

"Do I do what on purpose?" And then he gazed up at him from above the top of his menu in a way that made Carmen think he knew exactly what he was doing. Carmen's heartbeat was so loud that Osmond had to repeat himself twice. "Do you know what you want to eat? Do you know what you want?"

"Are we not going to talk about it?" Carmen asked quickly, addressing the thing that hadn't really left his mind since it happened. Osmond blinked in surprise and then handed his menu to Carmen, even though they each had their own.

"Find something to eat and then we'll talk". It only took Carmen a minute to find fettuccine Alfredo in cursive print on the second page of the menu and then he was snapping the laminated book shut.

"How did it happen?" Carmen asked and Osmond's eyebrows raised and he looked troubled.

"You don't remember it?"

"I remember it all," Carmen said, looking directly into the other's eyes before dropping his own to Osmond's throat as he watched the older swallow. "But I don't know why it happened. How did we get to that point?"

"I don't know," Osmond said, leaning back in his chair and drumming his fingers against the wood on the table as if he was playing the piano. "It just kind of happened". Carmen nodded slowly. "It can't happen again".

Hearing Osmond say this hurt more than he thought it would. He didn't have feelings for him, no, he couldn't have feelings for him, but he never thought that Osmond would regret what had happened.

"It can't?" Carmen asked and Osmond's eyes widened. "I mean... I don't know what I mean".

"Try," Osmond urged and Carmen swallowed. His idea from earlier, the one that he had ignored without really considering came back to him.

"What if it does happen again?" He leaned forward towards Osmond who was looking at him with a blank expression.

"It can't".

"Why not?" He asked and something flashed on the others face, something like fear and hurt and panic and... intrigue. "Why can't it happen again? I mean, I know we're just friends but that doesn't have to change, Osmond. We can be smart about this".

"I don't want a fuck buddy," Osmond snapped and Carmen groaned.

"That's not what I'm-"

"It is," Osmond argued. "That never ends up how people want it to".

"That's why we'll be smart!" Carmen argued and Osmond opened his mouth, most likely to protest again. "Think about the advantages, Oz. I haven't been stressed at all today, well barley. I was calmer than usual, and you've been less hostile. I think that maybe this is a good thing".

"What exactly are you proposing," Osmond asked, staring out of the window.

"I guess that we... do it every night before a performance. Then we can both be relaxed. I mean, I have never ever had a performance go that well". Osmond grimaced and Carmen gently kicked him under the table. "Don't tell me that you didn't enjoy it". If Osmond said he didn't then he would be lying.

Carmen could still clearly remember everything about the night. How Osmond tasted strongly of chocolate, and how it felt to have his tongue against his very own. The feeling of him moving inside of him, the silent noises of pleasure.

Osmond's face as he slid into Carmen, his teeth biting his lower lip as he chenched his eyes closed in absolute pleasure.

He had enjoyed it, and there was no denying it.

"Of course I enjoyed it," Osmond mumbled, turning his head quickly and catching Carmen starring. "And apparently you did too, or else you wouldn't be asking this".

Carmen nodded in agreement.

He had enjoyed it. More than enjoyed it. Carmen loved it. Loved being that close to another person, sharing something he had never shared before. It was a feeling that he couldn't even describe. Euphoric as he came undone at the hands of someone else.

Carmen loved it and Carmen wanted more.

Now he could only hope that Osmond felt the same. "So?"

"I'll think about it," was the response he was given, which wasn't the worst thing in the world but also wasn't exactly what he had been looking for.

***

"Car, you were supposed to call me yesterday". It was the first thing Keith said when he picked up the phone and Carmen's eyes rolled.

"I was busy". Busy getting fucked, but his brother didn't need to know that.

"Doing what?" Keith asked. "You have enough time to call mom but not me?"

"I had to eat. Mom doesn't let me eating be an excuse for not doing anything. You're a bit more understanding," Carmen explained, even though it wasn't exactly the truth. He knew that his brother wouldn't argue with him over eating.

"Have you been eating?" Keith asked and Carmen thought about the meal he had eaten less than two hours ago, where he once again impressed Osmond with his ability to put away food.

"I have," Carmen said, "it's like... I'm hungrier when I'm here. Osmond seems to want to make sure I actually like what I'm eating as well, which is a great bonus".

"That's good!"

"How?" Carmen mumbled, placing a hand on his full stomach.

"I'm glad Osmond's taking care of you". Oh, he was. "Not many people can get you to eat like that. I'm just happy you're there with someone I can trust".

"Me too," Carmen said, dropping back onto his bed with a sigh and a smile.

"Oh, hey-" Keith began, "your work called mom and dad".

"What?" All worst case scenarios came to mind. Was he fired? Did something happen? He was sure that he had told them he would need off.

"Yeah, uh, a boy named Jordan Sullivan was calling for your number".

Carmen's heart damn near stopped. Jordan. How could he have forgotten. A number of emotions hit him all at once, but the most prominent, by far, was guilt.

Guilt for forgetting about Jordan, who he had been in love with for so long by now. Guilt for having sex with Osmond. Guilt for wanting to still have sex with Osmond.

Carmen felt like he was cheating.

But you're not. Jordan isn't dating you. Jordan doesn't want to date you. You don't have time for Jordan.

You've done nothing wrong.

So he calmed down enough to ask, "did you give it to him?"

"Um, yeah, I think they did. Moms hoping that they're going to fire you".

Carmen was well aware that his mother had never wanted him to get a job. It was a distraction.

"I'm not going to get fired. He's just... just a friend of mine," Carmen explained, his mind on his beautiful tan co-worker.

"A friend, or a friend". Right then Osmond came into view in the living room as he stood from the couch. He slowly walked to Carmen's door and leaned against the frame, watching him with careful eyes.

"A friend," Carmen said, and then cleared his throat. "I've got to go Keith. I'll talk to you later".

"Okay but-"

He hung up.

"I'm going to shower, if that's okay," Osmond asks and Carmen nodded slowly.

"Yeah. I'll use it after you". They looked at each other for longer than necessary. It was Osmond who broke the contact by pushing off of the doorframe and walking away, presumably towards the bathroom.

And all Carmen could think about was how desperately he wanted to go with him.