What am I doing? What am I doing? What. The. Fuck. Am. I. Doing?

But damn did it feel good.

Carmen's mouth was so warm against his own, so soft and gentle. It was late, Osmond knew, and he figured that Carmen had brushed his teeth already since his mouth tasted like spearmint. Osmond was just about to part his lips to taste it more when Carmen pulled back.

For a second he was greatly disappointed that their kiss was ending so soon, but then he told himself that it was for the best.

"You taste like chocolate," Carmen whispered and Osmond opened his eyes just in time to see the other moving forwards again, this time more aggressive and his hands slid into Osmond's hair and he pulled him closer.

This was his first kiss- well, second really if the short one leading up to this counted- this kiss with this boy next to this piano.

Osmond hoped he was good at kissing.

Deciding that this would be the only chance he got to do something like this, he swiftly parted Carmen's lips with his tongue, pushing it through into the other's mouth and groaning as the taste of him exploded against his tongue. Carmen moaned deeply, moving closer and closer to him on the piano before he got sick of the distance and simply straddled Osmond's waist.

Woah woah woah.

It was obvious that Carmen didn't have much experience with... anything, since his boner was pressing into Osmond's abdomen, though Osmond really wasn't one to blame since his own was pressing into Carmen's ass and he was positive that the boy could feel it.

And it became damn clear that he could feel it as Carmen began to grind down against him, his mouth lifting off of Osmond's for a moment so he could take a quick breath before he was tilting his head to the other side and reconnecting their lips.

Osmond let him take the lead, allowing Carmen's tongue to search his mouth eagerly, drawing moan after moan out of his mouth. Small hands clutched at his hair, pulling his head black and their lips parted once more.

Osmond opened his eyes, though they refused to open completely, and looked up at Carmen, whose brown eyes were wide as he stared down at him. He looked absolutely gorgeous with his swollen lips and flushed skin.

"Fuck, you're beautiful," he breathed and Carmen closed his eyes, his hips still moving against Osmond's but slower this time.

"Don't- oh fuck," Carmen gasped and Osmond couldn't help but buck up against the younger's ass again after he made that noise the first time. Carmen threw his head back and Osmond wasted no time in pressing his lips against the boy's neck and kissing the skin gently. A second later he received a tug to his hair from Carmen again. "No- that's not what I want-"

Osmond pulled back from him, leaning away. Carmen continued to grind on him so Osmond quickly moved to stop his hips with his hands. Aloud whine left Carmen and he looked down at Osmond in surprise. "You don't want this?"

"I-" Osmond didn't wait for Carmen to finish his sentence. He was pushing the small boy back into his original seat. "Osmond!"

"It's a bad idea anyway-" he tried to reason with himself but it wasn't really working with his boner pressing against his zipper.

Carmen leaned towards him, his hot breath hitting Osmond's neck and he tilted his head to the side, exposing his neck to him completely. A low moan fought to leave his lips as Carmen began to kiss up and down his neck and then trailing his tongue over the hot skin.

"I want this," Carmen whispered in his ear, his hand coming down onto the front of Osmond's jeans and began to rub slowly. "I don't want you to treat me like I'm fragile, because I'm not".

"What are you saying?" Osmond breathed out and Carmen chuckled against his skin before pulling back.

"You're supposed to kiss me like you mean it".

So he did. He kissed him, like he meant it, because he did.

Kissing him like he meant it involved getting completely on top of Carmen, pressing the boys back against the piano bench and kissing him so hard he was surprised he didn't taste blood.

"Oh god," Carmen moaned as Osmond kissed down his neck, biting into his skin some places and soothing it over with his tongue. This was all new to him, so when he kissed back up Carmen's neck on the other side and began to grind down against him it took him a minute to find a rhythm. "Yes".

Osmond looked down at the panting boy for a moment. His blond hair was tangled and his lips were parted wide to accommodate large breaths and fuck Adrian Vang, this was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.

First he kissed the corner of Carmen's mouth, and then the other side, before once again connecting their lips, their tongues meeting in the middle, fighting for a dominance that Osmond desperately wanted. For a second he backed off, almost letting Carmen take control before his teeth suddenly sunk into the other's lower lip and Carmen whimpered, submitting immediately.

This felt natural. Kissing Carmen. It felt like playing the piano did at first. A little uneasy but what he was meant to do. All he needed was time.

Carmen gently sucked on his tongue and then trailed a hand down Osmond's chest slowly, his fingers stopping to grip the front of his jeans. Barely hesitating he slipped his hand inside the front and rubbed Osmond's member over the front of his boxers, causing Osmond to part their lips to moan throatily.

"God you're hot," Carmen said and Osmond growled, hating that their lips were parted long enough for the other to talk.

Carmen shouldn't of had time to breathe, much less talk.

He was going to do that, he decided. Osmond was going to take Carmen's breath away.

When they kissed there was tongue, too much tongue and not enough thought to care that it was too much. All that mattered was that they were touching and that it felt good. So good. Especially with Carmen's hands down the front of his pants. Osmond felt like he should do something in return, but didn't necessarily want to. It wasn't that he was afraid of doing it wrong, it was just that they were on a piano bench in the hotels public dining room with the door still open.

Him noticing this prompted the words, "show me to our room," to be whispered into Carmen's ear before his tongue tasted the shell of it.

Their lips barely parted on the way up the stairs. Carmen even took them backwards as they went, his footwork slow and careful as his hand grasped the front of Osmond's shirt and pulled him up after him. This was unnecessary. It was like he thought that Osmond needed to be pulled along or he wouldn't come, but Osmond had already decided that where Carmen, and his lips, went, he wouldn't be very far behind.

When they got to the room Osmond took a moment to press Carmen back against the door and ravish his mouth as his hand worked on the doorknob, turning it both ways and then groaning in frustration when it wouldn't open. "What's wrong?" Carmen whispered, pulling back an inch to look at his face.

"Do you have a key?"

Carmen's brown eyes suddenly widened and he began to repeat, "key key key," as he ran his hands over his own body. "Oh! Yes! I have a key. Wait here". And then he was literally running back down the hall and nearly tripping over his own two feet.

The door creaked as Osmond leaned against it, closing his eyes and breathing, trying to rationalize with himself, though this time he was trying to convince that this was a good idea.

That Carmen wouldn't regret whatever it was they were doing, and about to do, in the morning.

But he couldn't. Because Carmen, beautiful and smart Carmen, would most definitely see fault in this when he woke up. Because he had sense.

Osmond wouldn't regret it though. Actually, he feared that he would want to do it again and again until his lips fell off. Kissing Carmen was addicting.

Osmond wondered if this meant he actually felt something for the boy, but before he could really consider this Carmen was trudging back up the stairs again, clutching a silver key in his hand triumphantly.

"I got it! I got it! I-" Carmen came to a stop in front of him, his cheeks red from running, and cut off, scratching the back of his neck. "Um, are you okay?"

"Do you want me to be okay?" Osmond whispered and Carmen's eyes widened to the point where it was almost comical.

"Yes," he said quickly and Osmond sighed, tilting his head back against the door for a long second, fighting with himself before he pushed off of the door. "We don't have to-"

An arm was already sliding around Carmen's waist, pulling him closer so Osmond could gently brush his lips over Carmen's to shut him up. The breath had audibly caught in Carmen's throat as Osmond's tongue swept over his lower lip slowly before making its way into his mouth.

Before Carmen could get too distracted he leaned back as said, "then open the door".

His arms remained around Carmen's waist, now holding the boy's back to his chest as he kissed down the shorters neck. This seemed to be distracting Carmen since his hands shook and it took him a couple of tries to unlock the door.

"God, Osmond," Carmen moaned, he moaned, throwing his head back against Osmond's shoulder and leaving the pianist to reach around him and push open the door before shuffling them into the room and kicking it shut behind them.

"What room?" Osmond whispered in his ear before gripping his hips and spinning him around to face him. "Carmen?"

"This one," the blonde said quickly, coming to his senses and gripping Osmond's hand, pulling him into the room on the right.

"What would you like me to do?" Osmond asked softly, standing at the end of the bed as Carmen released him and flopped back against the mattress.

"Whatever you feel like doing," Carmen said. He was propped up onto his elbows to look at him, but once he said this he dropped back down against the covers and squeezed his eyes shut as if he was nervous.

"Anything?" Osmond said on an exhale and Carmen's head bobbed in response. "Are you sure?"

"Osmond-"

Whatever you feel like doing.

A loud whimper left Carmen as long fingers pressed against the bulge in his pajama pants and his back arched. "Yeah, that's good. Keep doing that".

The only sound in the room was Carmen's heavy breathing and the sound of Osmond's zipper being pulled down as Carmen reached forward to get it.

"Jesus Carmen, what are we doing?"

"Stop thinking," was all Carmen said in return and Osmond couldn't help but to smile. "You're trying to cock block yourself". That made him laugh and Carmen's eyes popped open in surprise.

"You laughed". It was a stupid thing to say so he didn't dignify it with a response. "Like an actual laugh. Because of me".

"I did," Osmond agreed, leaning over Carmen's body to press his lips against his chastely. "You're funny".

Carmen looked incrediably pleased with himself and he stuck out his tongue, tracing Osmond's lips with the tip of it before pushing him back and sitting up to pull his shirt over his head. Osmond leaned back, appreciating the view, but Carmen felt his eyes and quickly crossed his arms over his stomach. "I'm- I don't look good".

"Says the boy who just whipped off his shirt without me having to ask," Osmond mumbled, reaching his hands out and tracing his fingers over the skin of Carmen's arms.

"I didn't think this through," Carmen whispered, his eyes wide. "How could I not realize that if I wanted you to fuck me that you'd have to see me naked. I-"

But Osmond was no longer listening. His mind was still on Carmen's previous words. I wanted you to fuck me.

And once again he was reacting without thinking, his hands gripping Carmen's hips and pulling him down the bed until his legs were hanging off the end. Osmond gripped his knees and pushed them apart before moving in between them and thrusting up against Carmen's erection. "-oh fuck," Carmen exclaimed and Osmond repeated the action once more before bending forward and kissing his lips. Almost immediately Carmen's arms moved from his stomach and wrapped around his neck, holding his face close so their tongues could rub against one another's, drawing moans from the both of them.

Osmond's hips continued to thrust up against the younger's and eventually Carmen was having a hard time deciding whether to continue to kiss him or moan, so Osmond made the choice easier for him, pulling back an inch to trail his lips down to the boy's jaw and neck, sucking at the skin every couple of seconds. Continuing his path down his body, Osmond ran his teeth gently over the violinists collar bone.

"Oh," Carmen groaned as Osmond's hot tongue circled his nipple slowly before he sucked it between his teeth and gently nibbled on it. "That feels..."

Osmond didn't get to find out how it felt as he began to rub his hand against the front of Carmen's pajama pants again and the boy was rendered speechless. Trailing his lips down Carmen's abdomen he dipped his tongue quickly into the boy's belly button, drawing an adorable laugh from the boy underneath him.

"God, Carmen. You're so beautiful," Osmond admitted, receiving an embarrassed tug to his hair as he leaned back to look down at the boy on the bed.

Matted white blonde curls on his head, flushed pink cheeks and bruised red lips. The skin of his chest was smooth and Osmond raised his hand from the front of Carmen's pants, ignoring Carmen's groan of annoyance, and trailed his fingers down his chest before pressing flat against his thin, stomach. A pained whimper left Carmen and when Osmond's eyes flickered back up towards his face Carmen was staring up at him as he chewed nervously on his lip.

"I know I'm not all that-"

"You're perfect," Osmond said, and he meant every syllable. "So fucking perfect, Carmen".

And then he was gripping the front of Carmen's pajama pants and pulling them down. In the dim light he could see Carmen's blush as he nodded, and then Osmond's eyes were drinking in his body.

His erection was standing tall, precum leaking from the tip as Osmond wrapped a hand around it confidently, stroking up and down the shaft. Carmen became a fumbling mess, his voice stumbling over random syllables as drool ran over the coroner of his mouth.

"Oz," he managed to get out, "stop for- uhh," Osmond slowed his strokes so Carmen could at least get a sentence out, "take your cloths off. Please".

"Why?"

Osmond knew why, but he wanted to hear it again. "Because you can't fuck me with your cloths on".

And then Osmond was gone, moving so none of his skin touched Carmen's as he hurriedly yanked his shirt over his head and kicked off his shoes. Watching him do this, Carmen seemed to realize he was still wearing his own shoes with his pajama pants tangled around his ankles and he sat forward quickly to push them off.

By the time Carmen was completely naked and lying back against the mattress, Osmond was standing at the end of the bed in only his boxers, his hands at the waistband but not removing them. "I don't-"

"Come up here," Carmen said, his voice deep with lust. He was so persuasive with his sinful eyes and flushed skin that Osmond's body moved on its own, climbing onto of Carmen and dropping his hips down on the others. "Off". Carmen's hand slid down the back of his boxers, hooking his thumb over the waistband. "Oh fuck, you're big".

"Um, thanks," Osmond grumbled, wincing as a small cold hand wrapped around his cock and pumped it twice before dropping his hand and raising it to his lips.

Realizing what he was doing, Osmond's hand shot up and he grasped Carmen's wrist. "I can do that".

"You don't-"

"Carmen," Osmond said, exacerbated and Carmen swallowed, his eyes darkening.

"Then yeah," He said, "I'd like you to do this for me".

And then Osmond shut him up by putting his fingers in his mouth.

Feeling Carmen suck on his fingers had his eyes nearly rolling back into his head. As his warm tongue ran over the underside of his fingers he could almost feel it on his dick, which Carmen had gone back to slowly stroking him when his hands had been pushed away from his mouth.

Carmen sucked Osmond's fingers in completely and Osmond felt his eyes widen when the boy's throat constricted to accompany them. "How do you-"

"I don't have a gag reflex," Carmen said when Osmond slid his fingers from his mouth and began to trail them down his body, pressing his two wet fingers against his nipple for a second before training them down further. "I could show you-"

"Oh god- Carmen". The younger boy's eyes flashed and he smiled, and then Osmond's fingers were pressing against his hole and Carmen arched so far that Osmond wouldn't be surprised if the boy had back problems after this.

Osmond had never done this before, not even with himself, so he was hesitant as he slowly pressed his fingertip into Carmen, who let out a choked sound of pain. The panic must have shown on Osmond's face because Carmen let out a breathy laugh and shook his head quickly.

"Don't stop. It's supposed to hurt at first," he explained and Osmond really wished at that moment that he had spent more of his time watching porn.

"Are you sure?"

"Just do it, Osmond". He did, pushing his pointer finger into the heat completely and groaning as Carmen clenched around his digit and hissed through his teeth. "Oh fuck".

He couldn't help but nod once in agreement. Oh fuck.

After a few inward thrusts of his pointer finger Carmen's small hands unintentionally squeezed on his dick and Osmond choked. "Oh god, Osmond. Do that again".

Since Osmond was quite sure of exactly what he had done, he tied to mimic his past few movements. It took three thrusts, all in a different location, before Carmen mewled loudly and raised his hands to pull at his hair. "Right. Fucking. There"

"What is this?" He asked as his fingers grazed the spot in the boy that had him thrashing against the sheets. Bending his finger, Osmond bumped the spot once more, and then chuckled as Carmen's eyes rolled back into his head.

"Pros-state. It feels... so good. Could you use another finger please?"

Osmond did, easing it into his entrance. Once again Carmen tensed, but immediately relaxed as Osmond thrust back into the the same spot. This time Carmen's whole body lurched and he cried out. "Oh god! Oh god. My fingers have never reached this deep before- oh. Oh, Osmond".

The idea of Carmen doing this to himself, spread open on his bed back home, did something to Osmond. It made him imagine exactly what that looked like and his movements became frantic.

"Put it in me now," Carmen demanded, gripping Osmond's cock again and sliding down the bed so it was in line with his entrance. Osmond's eyes widened and he braced his hands on Carmen's arms, halting him in his quest to get Osmond to impale him.

"What?" Carmen looked up at him with wide eyes as if he had just been broken out of a trance. "We should probably take this slow". A small nod was all he got in response and Osmond laughed softly, ducking forward to peck his lips before sliding down the boy's body.

"What are you- oh fuck, Osmond!" Carmen exclaimed, his hands reaching out to grip the edges of the mattress as Osmond hesitantly swallowed his dick whole. When Carmen was distracted by this he pulled of quickly and dropped his head lower, his tongue pressing into the blonde boy's entrance, surprisingly enjoying the taste of lavender soap and Carmen. "What the hell are you doing?"

Osmond pulled back. "Does it not feel good?" He asked, looking up at Carmen through between his legs. He watched as Carmen swallowed and he tilted his head to the side, pressing a kiss into the boy's smooth thigh.

"It does, but- oh". As soon as he said it Osmond was back at it, this time his tongue pushing inside the boy, along with his two fingers that continued to rub against his prostate quickly.

"Then why are you complaining," Osmond asked, his voice muffled and Carmen let out a breathless laugh that evolved into a throaty moan as Osmond continued to fuck him with his tongue.

"This is so dirty," Carmen pointed out, but he wasn't really complaining, simply stating a fact. And it was dirty. Lewd. Sexy. With Osmond eating him out as Carmen withered on the bed, one of his hands pulling at Osmond's hair as the other tangled in his own blonde locks.

Though Carmen was too far gone to, Osmond kept his eyes opened. The boy was so gorgeous at the moment (not that he wasn't all the time but this minute he was exceptionally so) with his mouth parted and a thin layer of sweat all over his body. A loud moan left him suddenly and Carmen lifted his head, forcing his eyes open to look down at Osmond's whose tongue was still moving in and out of him and a rapid pace.

"Oh god," Carmen groaned at the sight. "I think I'm going to-" Osmond slowly traced the rim with his tongue. "I'm definitely going to-"

So Osmond pulled back, full out laughing at the beautiful boy who cried out in frustration. "What do you think your-"

"Now I'm going to put it in," Osmond said, crawling back up over Carmen's body and hiking the boy's legs around his waist, over his hips. "If that's okay with you, of course".

"It is," Carmen said quickly, tightening his legs around Osmond's waist and nearly forcing the boy into him. Sloppily, Osmond's erection ran over Carmen's  and the smaller cried out. "Come on, Oz".

"So impatient," Osmond said, but he gave him what he wanted, carefully sliding the head of his erection into Carmen and stopping immediately once the body beneath him went ridged. "Are you okay?"

"No- lube," Carmen gasped out, his eyes clenching shut and breathing through his mouth heavily.

There had to be an easier way to go about this, so as Carmen adjusted, Osmond tried to think of one.

"I think I'm ready for more," Carmen whispered, though he still felt tense. Osmond stupidly dismissed this as nerves and pushed about a centimeter into the other. "Fuck! Why are you so big".

"I don't know what that means," Osmond said and he pulled away from Carmen's body, ignoring the youngers protests as he dropped down onto the mattress next to him.

"It's not a bad thing-" Carmen began, sounding both annoyed and relieved that Osmond had stopped. Even if he was a bit relieved, Carmen still looked delighted (and a bit confused) as Osmond grabbed his hips and pulled him on top of him so he was straddling his waist. "What's-"

"This way we can go at your pace". Carmen hummed happily, pleased as he placed his hands on Osmond's shoulders and positioned himself over his cock. He tried to slowly ease down into it and whimpered in protest. "Jesus fuck, Osmond. I don't know if I should take my time or just sit on it". There really was no good response to this so Osmond didn't give one. "You have like, a really big dick-"

"Would you stop saying that? I don't really understand what that means," Osmond groaned, gasping as Carmen managed to get the head of his cock into the tight warmth.

"Well-" Carmen said through gritted teeth, clearly talking to distract himself, "you should take it as a compliment".

"You say it as if you've seen a lot of naked men before," Osmond said, also through gritted teeth but for a completely different reason: he was having an extremely hard time keeping himself from thrusting up into the other boy.

Carmen paused in his slow journey sinking down on top of Osmond, considering this statement. "Well, not in person, but I'm a eighteen year old gay boy who has no one to fuck but his fingers and the occasional vibrator. Well, and you now. But porn has been essential in my life". Osmond began to rub his palms over the inside of Carmen's thighs, reminding the boy of the matter at hand and grunting as Carmen began to press down again. "Maybe it's too big". Though that didn't stop Carmen from sitting down on it completely in a second, taking him all the way to the hilt.

The room erupted in noise. From Osmond it was a loud cry of pleasure as his hands gripped Carmen's hips tightly, most definitely leaving bruises. Carmen's cry was one of pain, his head falling back as his mouth dropped open. Sharp nails pierced the skin on Osmond's shoulders but he ignored it.

"Too big, too big," Carmen was saying as he wiggled on the boy beneath him, not making the situation better for either of them. "I can't-"

Osmond tightened his grip on his hips and Carmen stopped moving completely, looking down at himself with wide, tear filled eyes. "If you just stop moving and wait I can make this work".

Slowly, Carmen blinked and a tear rolled down his cheek. "You promise?"

Osmond really didn't know how he would make it feel good, but with those eyes on him, looking so hopeful, he couldn't help but to nod. A loud sigh left Carmen and his upper body suddenly dropped completely down against Osmond's, his face pressing into his shoulder. For a second Osmond was concerned he had passed out on top of him, but this was clearly not true when he felt Carmen's teeth sink into his neck.

Instinctively he wrapped his arms around the boy, running a soothing hand up and down his back, trying to help him relax. Osmond felt a bit selfish. He didn't know if he was helping him because he didn't want Carmen to be in pain any longer, or if it was because he desperately wanted to move.

Never had Osmond's dick been surrounded by something this tight or warm. Sure, even he would once and awhile would masturbate, but he could probably count the number of times he's done that on his fingers, and none of them had ever felt this good.

When Carmen finally did relax, after what felt like ages, Osmond wondered if it was just because the blonde had fallen asleep ontop of him. Once again he was proven wrong as Carmen's teeth nipped at his ear before whispering in it, "I think you can move now".

And he most definitely didn't need to be told twice.

He started with an experimental thrust upwards, in which Carmen responded with a roll of his hips downwards.

And then it was as if there was no pain at all. It had been completely forgotten with the 180 degree change in their paces. Going from nothing at all to using all of their energy at once.

Carmen, who was literally deduced to a sobbing, drooling mess on top of him tired out first. Eventually he couldn't continue meeting Osmond thrust for thrust and settled for pressing their lips together and muffling Osmond's many noises that he hadn't known he was callable of making.

Then they continued like this for a while, Carmen still on top but barely moving anything but his tongue against Osmond's, though even this ended once his prostate was found because moaning became more vital than kissing.

Flipping Carmen onto his back, Osmond slid between the boy's legs and fucked him like this. It was faster this way and far more effective, for Carmen barely had to do anything but wrap his legs around Osmond's waist and hold on tight.

And then Osmond remembered exactly where Carmen's prostate was, and how the boy had reacted the first couple of times he hit it, and all he wanted to do was to hear those noise again.

So, stopping his hips completely for a second and adjusting their position a bit, he prepared for what he hoped would be the beginning of the end of their endeavors.

Not to be misunderstood; it was amazing, Osmond was just getting tired.

The noise Carmen made the first time Osmond slammed into his prostate was enough to drive him down right insane.

Osmond had never been one to engage in self pleasure very often, but after hearing that noise, that sound that surely he would never get out of his head, he couldn't see how he could not need to get off just because of that every single day.

But it only got better from there. The noises got louder and louder until Carmen was practically screaming in response to every single one of Osmond's hard thrusts directly to the place where he needed them to be.

It wasn't surprising to either of them based off of the current situation that Carmen came first, his back fighting to arch against Osmond's weight against him, a loud yell and cry of "yes!" Leaving his lips before he was rendered completely speechless as Osmond continued his assault on the boy's prostate, now desperately searching for his own release.

And it was almost there, so close he could taste it, but Carmen, who had just come down from his high, was over sensitive and uncomfortable. Giving up, Osmond moved to pull out, but the legs still wrapped around his waist tightened as they felt him retracting, forcing him back in place.

"Cum in me," Carmen whispered into his ear, hot breath hitting his neck and Osmond couldn't have stopped it even as he tried. Pressing his face into the crook of the wonderfully beautiful violinists neck, he released inside of him, his hips slowly moving.

Where Carmen's release was loud, Osmond's was quiet. Only a soft whimper left him as his entire body shook with the kind of orgasm that made him understand why people become sex addicts.

This feeling, this boy, this... was addicting.

***

When Osmond woke up, the first thing he realized was that he was not in his bed at home.

The second thing he noticed was that he was not in this foreign bed alone.

And the last thing was that he was scared.

The third thing made sense once he understood the first two.

Of course the bed he was in wasn't his own. He could clearly recall the plane ride with Carmen the day before and checking into the airport and-

And the reason why he wasn't in bed by himself. If he remembered correctly, when he turned his head to the side he shouldn't be surprised to see that it was Carmen sleeping on his arm.

Osmond checked, and even though he was right he was still surprised.

And this is where the fear came in, in its many different forms.

The most noticeable fear was the kind you get after doing something that could leave you vulnerable. Ever since he had met Carmen, he had felt something different. All this time he had been trying to avoid it, but Osmond feared he could no longer. Not after how they had spent their night.

With Carmen, things felt different to him. They felt, dare he say, easier. Even composing became simpler as long as he kept the other in his mind.

Carmen just made him relax. He wasn't as afraid to be himself around him as he was with others. It was refreshing and terrifying.

The next kind of fear was the kind that happened after doing something that you've wanted to do for a while. The kind you got after your first kiss. The does he like me back- what if he doesn't kind. Osmond wasn't used to this feeling so he dismissed it for a stomach ache.

And lastly, he was afraid, no, terrified, that he might wake Carmen up and have to see the look of regret that would undoubtedly be on his face first thing.

And yet all too soon, Osmond couldn't help but shift and Carmen stirred and ultimately awoke, his eyes blinking open slowly.

Osmond chewed on his lip nervously as he watched Carmen go through the same thing he had when he first woke.

Surprisingly, nothing like regret showed on his face. "What time is it?" Carmen asked softly and Osmond directed his attention to the clock on the nightstand to his right.

"Almost- that can't be right".

"What?" Carmen asked, pushing himself up onto his elbows and looking over Osmond to the clock. It was amusing to watch his eyes go from droopy and sleepy to alert and surprised in less than a second. "What time is our thing?"

"Soon," Osmond said, pushing the covers off of himself and then groaning and pulling them back over his naked body. "Umm".

"Oh right," Carmen said, his cheeks flushing as he averted his eyes. "I'll keep my eyes closed if you want to put something on quick. Um-" his eyes closed as Osmond gestured for him to do so, but he continued to talk as the taller climbed out of the bed and searched for his boxers, which he found on the floor at the base of the bed. "We're going to need to talk about this".

"We will," Osmond agreed, "you can open your eyes now". Carmen did, smiling at him sheepishly for a moment.

"We don't have time," he said softly and Osmond nodded in agreement.

"Not right now". They looked at each other for a bit longer before Carmen cleared his throat.

"Um, we're kind of running late. Could you-"

"Yes!" Osmond exclaimed quickly and Carmen chuckled at his outburst. "I- sorry". He left the room, closing the door behind him.

Sitting in the center of the living room was his suitcase, which he could have sworn, now that he thought about it, he had left next to the piano in the dining room.

Stuck on top of the case was a sticky note.

Found downstairs- didn't want to disturb.

Groaning loudly, Osmond lifted the case onto the the couch and opened it, riffling through it until he found his medicine bag that held his prescription. With is sigh, he took two pills out, looking at them resting in his palm for a moment before bringing his hand to his mouth and swallowing them both together.

Then he took out what he planned to wear for the first performance.

For the first time ever, Osmond was worried about being distracted when he played.

A/N So like... what did I just write????????