Last Chapter 

He cleared his throat from the other line.

"I-Ikaw?" He paused, taking a glance at my car. "Nasaan ka? Nakauwi ka na?" He casually asked, still staring at my car. The way he still asked me despite seeing my car parked in here proves his intention to lie.

He probably thinks that I'm still inside the hospital, giving him the excuse to keep on lying to me.

I didn't answer. My muscles suddenly felt so weak that the hand that I'm using to hold my phone to press on my ear slowly slid down until it fell on the mattress of my car.

I rested my arms on top of the steering wheel, resting my forehead there to let all my silent sobs out.

I hate that he lied to me. But I hate myself more because I know that he did it for the sake of me. He's been trying his best not to hurt me but what's happening was the exact opposite.

I slowly lifted my head, tilting it on the side when I heard the passenger's door open. It was his eyes that I immediately met. His eyes that couldn't decide if they want to be sad or flabbergasted.

His mouth was parted but no words came out. He was still standing outside with his hand gripping at the frame of the passenger's door.

I don't even know if he ever got some plans to come in and confront me because staring at him right now was obvious that there's currently a war going on inside him. I don't know what war was all about but I didn't wait for it to end, instead I avoided his gaze before sitting up straight on the driver's seat.

Wiping my face using my palm, lying in front of him just like what he did before answering my call. After fixing myself I started the engine of my car and without looking at him I said, "Are you gonna come home with me or I'm just gonna drop you by at the airport?"

I'm surprised by how I've managed to compose my voice and make all my words firm as they roll off my tongue. But then I remember that I'm a surgeon, I'm a good liar. A great actress perhaps.

Silence.

He remained silent for about five seconds that felt like forever.

I tried not to move a muscle the moment I heard the movements of his body as he slowly hopped inside, sitting on the passenger seat before closing the door beside him.

I didn't bother tilting my head to give him a side glance but despite my decision not to look at him, I hate that I can still feel him, occupying every single small space that we have inside my car.

"You saw all of it... Didn't you?" He suddenly spoke in his low voice to somehow break the silence.

I shrugged, taking a glance on him. "Depends on what you want to hear from me. Do you want me to lie just like how you lied to me a few seconds ago or do you want me to tell the truth?"

His jaw tensed but his eyes looked so taken aback. "I'm sorry..." He whispered, fixing his eyes down because he's too embarrassed to look at me.

As much as I wanted to pull myself together, a stubborn tear suddenly escaped from my eye as my lips began to quiver.

"And I'm sorry too." I said, together with a sob that I tried to swallow but I just couldn't.

His eyes went up on mine again, looking so hurt and worried. That sight broke me into bits. I hate how he's worrying about me again despite the fact that he was currently breaking into pieces as well.

Looking at him right now slaps me with the truth that I cannot swallow.

This is not healthy for him anymore. I am not healthy for him.

"I'm sorry, Ciel..."

"Mona..." He called my name as fear suddenly tainted his features.

I just gave him a sad and a bitter smile as I look into his deep brown eyes. "Do you remember the day when you made me promise that when the time comes that you are suddenly turning into a person that causes me to get hurt, I would honestly tell you about it?"

He went silent as his jaw began twitching hard. I saw Adam's apple bobbed up and down as he tried to swallow the lump in his throat.

"What did I do, Mona? Did I just turn into someone that causes your pain?" His voice sounds so broken and scared.

I noticed the corner of his eyes starting to water again as he stared at me in confusion and agony.

Tahimik akong tumango habang panay pa rin ang pag-agos ng mga luha ko mula sa aking mga mata. "You're hurting me, Ciel. Not in the way that you're thinking you were because you are so much more than that. I was hurting not because you did something wrong. In fact, I appreciate how you try your best not to hurt me," I paused looking at him with a sad smile on my lips.

"But that's what is hurting me the most..." I whispered, painfully looking at him. "It's just so painful to watch you restraining yourself from feeling the emotions that you are valid to feel just because I am hurting." I said, almost begging. My voice sounds so broken because of my desperation to stress my point.

"Nung tinatawagan kita. I was expecting you to admit that you don't feel good. That you are not able to go to the airport because you feel so fucked up. I was expecting you to say that you need me, Ciel..." I said, looking into his eyes.

His lips parted, wetting it before speaking.

"I... I'm sorry. I just don't want to upset you. I know that there are some things that you're dealing with on your own. Ayaw ko nang dumagdag pa." He explained.

"That's how it makes our situation more complicated, Ciel. That's what makes it unhealthy. My pain shouldn't stop you from feeling your own pain, Ciel. Just because I'm weak doesn't mean that you're required to force yourself to be strong."

I raised a hand to cup one of his cheek while I was still looking at him in his gorgeous eyes that I haven't seen light up since last month.

"I... I'm sorry. I just don't want to bother you."

"Ciel, you are my boyfriend. I will drop everything just to be with you when you need me the most. I know that you're the one who usually saves me but it doesn't always have to be like that. Baby, you are allowed to be weak. It's okay... You don't always have to be strong for me. You can fall apart, Ciel and I will fall apart with you. We can fall apart together. We can be fucked up together. You don't have to be alone with this. You have me, Ciel. Through your highs and lows you'd always have me."

Panay pa rin ang pagtulo ng mga luha ko habang binabanggit ko sa kanya ang mga salitang iyon. He was just looking at me and there were tears streaming down his face too.

Maybe God allowed me to witness how Megi expressed his pain to Ciel. Maybe He allowed me to see how wrecked Ciel was so that we could open this conversation and talk about all the things that we have to talk about.

A faint smile formed on my lips as I stroke his cheekbone using my thumb. "You can give me all your pain, Ciel and it doesn't matter if I was hurting too because I'd rather fall apart with you than to watch you comfort me as you silently break inside. I fell in love with you for being the best but I swear to fall in love with you more through your worst."

"Oh, Mona." A gasp came out from his mouth as he held my hand that's touching his cheek, stroking my knuckles using his thumb.

He grabbed my hand, placing it on his mouth to press his lips there. I smiled, watching him do that small gesture that has a huge intimate affect on me.

I felt him smile through my palm before pulling his mouth back to look at me. "I was trying to be still despite all the hurt that I was feeling because I was thinking that you're hurting too and I'm the only person that you can lean on... but it turns out to be a wrong move because I forgot how strong and brave you are."

"And I'm sorry for forgetting it. I'm sorry for hurting you as I try my best not to." He whispered, sincerely.

"May kasalanan din naman ako. You're not the only one who built walls to hide your pain from me because I did that too. Unconsciously, I've built my own walls too just to hide my pain from you..." I admitted.

"And it shouldn't be like that." He whispered.

I nodded. "It shouldn't be like that." I whisper back.

He smiled, reaching out to hold my other hand that I willingly offered to him. He looked at me, sincerely as he entwined our fingers together.

"Mona, from now on I will be more vocal and more honest about all my pain but you have to promise me that you would also do the same," He whispered, looking at me softly and hopefully in my eyes.

I smiled at him, nodding a little. "I promise."

"Now let's start." He suddenly said, making my lips part as I looked at him in confusion despite all these tears.

"Wanna know all my pain that I didn't tell you about?" He asked, revising our 'Wanna know something that I never told someone about?' into that. I smiled despite knowing that this is gonna be a painful confession that I would hear from him.

He squeezed my hand, still looking at me so I nodded my head because that's what he's just waiting for. My cue.

He wet his bottom lip, subtly clearing his throat before finally speaking up.

"I've just become the man that I warned my sister about. A man who just raised a hand to hurt a woman. And that woman was my sister. Every single day, what I did to my sister kept on haunting me. It's so hard to be happy knowing that I left a hole in her heart with what I did to her. I don't want to use the hurt that I felt when she said those words to you just to justify what I did because in whatever circumstances, hindi dapat ako nananakit. Hindi ko dapat sinasaktan ang kapatid ko." He confessed and his voice was beginning to break again as another batch of tears started falling from his beautiful eyes.

"These past few weeks I've been feeling sad and hurt, I tried to keep it all inside my chest because I'm scared that when I show you my pain, you'd end up blaming yourself because honestly, it's not your fault. It was mine. I could have just controlled myself but I didn't. I let my hurt and anger towards all those words that came out from her mouth drive me."

"Ako dapat ang nagpo-protekta kay Megi but the moment I hurt her was the moment that I gave other men the permission to hurt my sister too and that's what breaks me even more. Paano ko pa maipagtatanggol ang kapatid ko kapag may nagbalak na manakit sa kanya kung ako mismo na Kuya niya ay nasaktan ko rin siya? Ang sama kong kapatid. Wala akong kwenta." He cried so hard and it's breaking me. A crying Ciel Alfieri is going to kill me.

I stretched so that I could reach out for him and cup his face. Hinuli ko ang mga tingin niya kahit sobrang sakit na makita ang mga mata niyang lumuluha.

"Shh... No, baby. Don't say that." I coaxed him while I cried too. "Hindi ka masama, nagkamali ka lang. And don't you ever label yourself as the worst brother because seeing you, being broken and sorry for what you did to your sister makes you the best. Your single mistake cannot define you as a brother to Megi. What inside this," I paused, putting my palm on his left chest, directly to his heart. "Is what defines you as a brother to Megi and that definition is what I can call the best. Ciel Alfieri, you are the best brother in the whole wide world. You are the best brother to Megomi Alfieri." I sincerely and proudly whispered as I wiped his tears using my thumb.

A smile formed on his lips as he looked at me appreciatively. "You think so?" He whispered.

"Mm-hmm," I smiled nodding my head proudly. "And I also think that you are the most beautiful person with a beautiful heart that I've ever seen and Megi knows that and I'm sure that she's proud of you just like how proud I am of you. And I'm very certain that Megi will eventually forgive his beautiful brother with the most beautiful heart." I said, cupping his face to kiss the tip of his nose.

A low chuckle rose from his throat as he wrapped his arms around me, trying to lift me up from my seat. Nakuha ko naman kaagad ang gusto niyang gawin that's why I helped him by lifting my body as well until I'm sitting on his lap.

I rested the side of my head on his shoulder as I felt his embrace and warmth of his body. Tonight felt different. His embrace was more intimate with the absence of guilt and holding back. His smell, filling my nostrils is the kind of intoxication that I'm always down for.

"You just know how to make me feel better, Mona. I wish I told you about this sooner." He said, managing to pull up a joke.

I narrowed my eyes at him. "Ewan ko kasi sa'yo, eh. Masikreto ka masyado." I said, riding along.

He just gave me a faint smile before squeezing my hand that's currently resting on my lap.

"It's your turn now." He suddenly said in his low voice. "I wanna know about all your pain that you chose not to tell me."

I looked at his face, not knowing how to start. "Well," I said, clearing my throat to somehow get rid of the lump in my throat.

"These past few weeks are kind of rough for me too. Sometimes I can't tell if I fell asleep or I just closed my eyes for hours. There are a lot of things going on inside my head that I don't even know which thought I should deal with first. Sometimes I just want to scream, thinking that it would somehow ease the pain that I'm keeping inside. Sometimes I just want to sit on the floor and cry but how can I do that when I'm surrounded by a lot of people inside the hospital? People who are probably on their verge too. It was always like this. I was in the middle of being numb and being in deep pain... and I hate it. I hate that I have the audacity to feel like this despite all the damage that I caused to the people around me." I confessed, hearing my own voice shake regardless of how I try to make it firm.

"Sa tuwing tinitingnan ko si Nika, iniisip ko na dapat ako ang nandoon sa pwesto niya at hindi siya. Sa tuwing nakikita ko si Bree na nangungulila sa Mommy niya, sinisisi ko ang sarili ko... And everytime I look at you, trying your best to remain still and intact for me, I wanted to ask you to just leave and walk out because what you're doing for me is not healthy for you." I admitted in between my sobs. I didn't look at him, I just rested my head on his shoulder as he held me tighter.

I felt his lips on the top of my head. "Oh, Mona." He whispered.

"I'm sorry but that's the truth," I apologized, shutting my eyes tight.

"It's alright," he whispered. "That's what your pain was pushing you to think of. I understand that." He said.

"But, Mona everything that has happened around you is not entirely your fault. I hope you stop blaming yourself from the things you have no control of... Nika saved you because she wanted to. I tried to keep my pain from you because I thought that it was for the best. It's not your fault that we made all these choices, baby." He said as one of his hands went up to my hair to remove some strands scattered around my forehead and cheeks.

"I'm sorry," I sobbed like a kid, slightly hiccupping. I was beginning to feel at ease and the weight on my chest is starting to evaporate. It feels so good to let it all out to the person who is willing to listen.

"It's okay, baby. I'm so proud of you. I am so proud of how you managed to remain still despite all these struggles and pain, torturing you silently. I'm so proud of you for being brave and strong..."

Oh my God. His words.

I found myself sobbing harder while I buried my face on his chest upon hearing his words that never failed to seep all the pain that I got in my bones. Having someone who is so proud of you for being able to just stand up in spite of all your pain is so hard to find these days and I'm glad that I already found mine...

"But baby, you don't have to hide all your worse parts again because I will gladly embrace all of them just like how you'd be willing to embrace all of mine." He said in all sincerity as he looked at me delicately.

"Look at me," he softly commanded and so I did. I lifted my face to look at him.

He smiled at me, wiping my tears using his thumb as he looked at me softly in the eyes.

"You don't have to endure all of your pain silently because I am very much willing to take every part of them to make them as mine too. Every drop of your tears, every frustration, every pain, I will take them, inch by inch to own them too because we're a team, Mona. What is yours is mine. Your highs are my highs and your lows are my lows. When you fall, I will fall with you and together we will always conquer." He whispered, staring at me like I'm the softest thing in the world.

Unconsciously, my lips suddenly puckered. God, can you see this man? This man is someone that I want to spend the rest of my life with. Kapag naman kami hindi pa nagkatuluyan nito, hindi talaga ako mag-aasawa. He just set the so bar high that no other man would even get to surpass.

I reached his face to cup one of his cheeks as I looked at him, all serious and sincere. "I love you, every inch of you and if God will forbid us to end up together, I'd rather die single than to be in a relationship with a guy that is not you." Seryoso kong sabi.

He stared at me for about two seconds before bursting into laughter, showing me that irresistible dimple again.

"Totoo ang sinasabi ko!" I said, frowning at him. Akala yata niya ay nagbibiro ako.

His laugh died down but there was still a left over smile on his face as he stared at me.

"Relax, baby. You'll end up with me." He whispered, slowly leaning his face down to mine.

"Really?"

"Mm-hmm," he proudly said, nodding before finally crashing his lips to mine. I didn't waste any second, I immediately responded to his wet and hot and passionate kisses. I even clung my arms around his neck as he softly brushed his tongue in between my lips.

Are we going to have sex inside my car? I don't want to get fired! But I don't want to resist him either. Not when his hand is slowly crawling inside my scrub top.

Isa pa, isang buwan na rin. We were both emotionally drained these past few weeks, puro kami cuddle. Baka naman. Pa-experience naman ng car sex. Sabi ni Mommy masaya daw.

I suddenly chuckled between our kisses, making him stop from kissing me and his hand from squeezing my boob. He looked at me, quite confused. Akala siguro nito nababaliw na 'ko.

"Naala ko si Mommy... According to her, it's fun to have sex inside the car." I explained.

A salacious grin appeared on his lips, flushing all his confusion out. "Then I think we should try? You know, to find out if it's really fun."

I let out a fake gasp. "That's what I thought too." I agreed and he was about to kiss me again but my phone suddenly rang making him stop.

He knows how important my phone calls are.

"Tingnan mo na muna kung sino," he said, with a faint groan. Napangisi ako bago iling-iling na inabot ang phone ko na nasa matress pa rin.

"It's from Dr. Ramirez," I informed him, showing him the screen.

"Answer it," he said and I did... even though his hand was still on my boob.

"Hello?"

"Dr. Clavel, I just want to inform you... gising na si Nika."

My face suddenly lit up. "Really?"

"Yeah."

"Alright, thank you!" I said before dropping the call. Masaya kong tiningnan si Ciel na kasalukuyan ding pala na nakatingin sa akin, naghihintay ng balita ko.

"Nika's already awake!" I exclaimed.

His face lit up too. "Really? That's good news, baby!"

"I know! Tara na, puntahan na natin sila." I frantically said, trying to fix my hair.

"But the bad news is... there is no car sex for me." Nakanguso niyang sabi na naging dahilan upang matawa ako.