Chapter 3

What Is Love? 

I stared at him, my mouth in slight agape. Did I hear him right? Kinukuha niya ang papel ko? 

Tinanggal ko ang ka isa-isang earphone na nasa tainga ko habang hindi pa rin tinatanggal ang tingin sa kanya. 

He raised his brows as he stared at me back. I don’t know what to react because this situation is very foreign to me that I am having second thoughts if I really did get what he’s trying to say. O baka naman namali ako nang dinig? 

“Excuse po kay Kuya Ciel!” 

Our stares that was close to being a contest was interrupted by a small girl’s voice coming from the first door of this classroom. 

Halos magkasabay kaming napatingin ni Ciel sa pinanggalingan ng boses and there I saw a little girl, wearing a uniform as well. 

“Kuya Ciel! Pinapabigay ni Daddy!” Sigaw niya mula sa labas ng classroom namin at inangat ang isang paper bag na may mukha ni Jollibee. 

Narinig ko ang pagbuntong hininga ni Ciel bago ika-ikang naglakad papunta sa gawi ng babaeng tumawag sa kanya na ‘kuya’. I assume she’s his sister because despite of our distance, I can see from here that she’s got the same curly hair as Ciel’s. 

Sinundan ko nang tingin si Ciel hanggang sa makalapit na siya sa kapatid niya. Kinuha niya ang paper bag mula dito at nag-usap sila saglit na hindi ko na nakuhang marinig dahil sa distansya namin. 

Natapos ang usapan nila sa isang tango ni Ciel. Muli na siyang umikot paharap dito sa gawi ko. 

I watched him as he takes his slow steps towards me. My brow arched when he pulled the empty chair right in front of mine. Pinaikot niya ito paharap sa akin bago siya tuluyang umupo doon. 

Damn! Magharap ang upuan namin. Nakaupo siya sa harapan ko. Ano ba ang trip nito? Hindi ko talaga mapigilang hindi magduda, e. I was so used of being treated worse that being treated good is starting to scare me. 

I eyed him as he puts his hand inside the brown paper bag. When he pulled his hand out, I saw few capsules caught in between his fingers. 

Muli niyang tinupi sa ibabaw ang paper bag at tuluyan nang nalaglag ang panga ko nang bigla niyang iabot sa akin iyon. 

I looked at me, quizzically. 

“Take this.” He said.

“Ako?” 

His face straightened. “Hindi, ‘yung upuan. Baka kasi gutom na siya.” Pamimilosopo niya. My face turned into a small scrunch.

“Syempre, ikaw. Tayo lang naman ang dalawa dito.” Bawi niya. 

“But why?” I asked, sounding confused, and almost mocking. Hindi ko talaga maintindihan. 

Umarko ang isa niyang kilay. “Why not?” 

Umawang ang aking bibig ngunit walang salitang lumabas. I had to chew my bottom lip for a few seconds before having the courage and the sanity to speak again. 

Ngunit bago pa man ako makapagsalita ay naunahan na niya ako. 

“Come on, just take it. Nagpabili na ‘ko ng lunch kay Cyprian at umay na umay na ‘ko sa lasa niyan dahil halos araw-araw kaming nagpapa deliver para sa kapatid ko.” He said, pushing the bag further towards me. 

Alanganin ko itong kinuha. The moment my hand touched the paper bag, I flushed. I don’t know why but I suddenly felt embarrassed. Bakit sa akin niya pa naisipang ibigay? Dahil ba mataba ako? 

“T-Thank you,” Sabi ko na lang at ipinatong sa desk ng katabi kong bakanteng upuan ang ibinigay niya sa akin. 

Walang sabi-sabi ay kinuha niya ang activity sheet na nasa ibabaw ng arm chair ko kasama ang lapis na gamit ko. 

“A-Ako na diyan!” Sinubukan kong bawiin ang papel ko ngunit nang mag-angat siya nang tingin upang salubungin ang mga mata ko ay natigilan ako. 

It took just one stare. One damn intense stare for me to back down. 

Nang mapansin niyang natigilan ako ay gumuhit ang isang ngisi sa kanyang labi bago siya muling yumuko at sinimulang guhitan ang aking papel. 

“M-May sagot ka na ba? Kopyahin mo na lang ang akin.” Presinta ko. 

I don’t know, I just feel obligated to give him back the favor. Hindi talaga ako sanay na binibigyan kaya kapag nakatanggap ako, hindi na ako mapakali kakaisip kung paano ibabalik sa kanila yung pabor na ginawa nila para sa’kin. 

“Kanina pa ako tapos. Kumopya ako ng sagot kay Logan…” He said, still doing his thing and not looking at me. 

I watch him with every sketch and stroke of the pen. His moves are fast, graceful, and artsy. He really knows what he’s doing. 

Marunong pala siyang mag drawing? 

“Himala. Hindi naman nagpapa kopya si Logan.” I said, thinking out loud. Iyon kasi ang napansin ko sa kanya. Hindi siya nagpapakopya pero kapag siya naman ang humingi ng sagot, gusto niya meron kaagad. 

We really have that one kind of classmate in every classroom. 

Dinilaan niya ang kanyang pang-ibabang labi habang gumuguhit bago ngumisi. “Syempre inuto-uto ko siya. Wala ka namang tiwala sa’kin…” Aniya. 

So, that means I won’t be able to give him back the favor? Shit! Hanggang mamayang gabi niyan ay iniisip ko ‘to. Idagdag mo pa ‘tong Jollibee na ibinigay niya sa akin. 

“T-Thank you…” Sabi ko na lamang. 

Hindi niya ako sinagot. Busy pa rin siya sa pagdo-drawing and I watched him with amusement as he finished drawing the first five equipment. Ang galing niya! 

He got a talent in drawing! 

I think it’s amazing how people can give life to an empty paper using their pencils and their coloring materials. 

It’s just sad how some people don’t consider other digital art an art. It is actually. The fact that you managed to create something new from a certain photo, making an innovation, and adding another form of life to it is just incredible. 

Some people create their arts on an empty canvas and some use technology and I think they all deserve to be given recognition for that. Because people have different arts that they can express in their own kind of different ways. 

I watched him and he’s now on the sixth equipment. Ni hindi nga niya kailangan ng kopya! Parang memoryado niya na sa utak niya kung ano ang hitsura ng equipment na ‘yon. 

Bakit ba niya ginagawa ‘to? Bakit niya tina-trabaho ang trabaho ko? This is first that someone did something like this for me. 

I want to ask why he’s being nice to me but I just bit my tongue to prevent myself from doing so. I’m scared he might snap and find me annoying… He’s just so hard to figure out. One second he’s laughing at me and then the next he’s being nice to me. 

“Thank you, Ciel.” I said, as I eyed him a bit nervous. 

Natigilan siya sa pag guhit at tiningnan ako. “Paulit-ulit.” Aniya. “Wala ka na bang ibang alam sabihin? Tell me a story, ask me a question, just anything other than thanking me.” He shrugged. 

“Uh… What is your type in girls?” I asked, questioning my own choice of question. What the hell, Mona? Bakit naman iyon ang naitanong mo? 

A low chuckle escaped from his lips. “Syempre ‘yung mga sexy at hot na hawig ni Megan Fox.” He replied. 

My brows creased. “Katawan talaga at ganda?” 

Tinaasan naman niya ako ng isang kilay. “Well, that’s what I’ve just said. What do you expect me to answer? I’m just a man, Mona and men are all assholes.”  

Natawa ako nang bahagya. 

“You guys are really into women with perfect bodies and faces, huh?” 

“There is no such thing as perfect face and a perfect body. Even the hottest girl in town have flaws and imperfections.” He said matter of factly. 

“Wow.” Iyon lang ang lumabas sa bibig ko. I didn’t expect that from him. Ciel Alfieri said that? 

Ngumisi siya. “Ano, pwede na ba ako doon sa mga sikat ngayon sa facebook? Those memes like ‘a philosopher once said’ and shits.” 

Again, I laughed a little, shaking my head. 

“But you know, those are just standards, Mona… Kahit pa sabihin mong gusto mong mag-asawa ng kamukha ni Harry Styles, kung tinamaan ka naman sa mukhang kabayo, wala rin.” Bigla niyang sabi. 

Napanguso ako at napatango-tango. “Kunsabagay, tama ka… Love is blind nga, e.” 

Siguro kapag may nagkagusto sa’kin, sa hitsura kong ‘to? Love is blind din kung maituturing. 

“Love being blind is a fucking myth.” He said as he quietly proceeded in drawing. 

“Huh?” I asked. 

“Love shouldn’t be blind, Mona. Love is seeing all the imperfect parts of a person and yet you still look at her like she’s the most beautiful art in a museum. That’s how love is.” He said as he kept doing his business. 

Ako naman ay napatanga lang na nakatingin sa kanya. “Woah. That’s powerful.” I absentmindedly said, still looking at him, dumbfounded. 

Nag-angat siya nang tingin sa akin. A faint smirk drawing across his face. “You know what’s more powerful than that?” 

I inspect him. The sunlight coming from the open windows is illuminating his beautiful face once again. It’s just so perfect, the way the sun kisses his skin. 

“W-What?” 

“It’s looking at your flaws through the mirror and realizing that you’re not just a beautiful art, you’re the whole exhibit.” He said, his voice was low and every word he said managed to hit something on my chest. 

Damn. Who are you? 

“C-Ciel? Sigurado ka bang na sprain ka lang at hindi nabagok ang ulo mo?” I asked, a bit worried. 

First he’s being nice to me and now he’s starting to give me his words of wisdom. Ano ba? May taning na ba ang buhay niya? 

A low chuckle rose from his throat before handing me my paper. Tiningnan ko ang kabuoan ng activity sheet ko at manghang-mangha ko siyang tiningnan. 

Umarko ang isa niyang kilay habang nakangiti. “Oh, ano? Thank you na naman?” 

I shook my head. Still amused. “No. It’s just that ang galing mo.” I praised him. 

“Maliit na bagay.” He showed me his pompous grin once again. The one that can get on your last nerve and at the same time make a girl’s panties drop. 

“You have a talent in drawing.” I couldn’t help but to say. 

“Namana ko sa Daddy ko.” He said. 

My face lit up. “Artist ang Daddy mo?” May bahid nang pagkamangha sa boses ko. 

He shook his head, running his fingers through his short and neat curls. “He’s a pilot... But he used to design aircrafts.” 

I almost gasp. “That’s amazing!” 

A small grin appeared on his face. “Yeah.” He agreed. 

“How about your Mom? Siguro ang hirap para sa kanya na magka-asawa ng isang piloto dahil hindi sila madalas magkita.” I suddenly said and I was even a bit surprised with myself because out of all the years that I’ve been studying here, ngayon lang ako naging komportable na makipagkwentuhan sa isang kaklase. 

I don’t know why but I think Ciel genuinely wanted to talk to me, hindi iyong kinakausap niya ako kasi may kailangan siya. 

“They’re divorced… And my mom’s a nurse by the way.” He said. 

Gusto ko tuloy tuktukan ang sarili ko. Bakit ko ba kasi siya tinanong nang gano’n? 

“I’m sorry.” I apologized. 

He chuckled. “It’s alright. I take no drama from our situation. Naiintindihan ko naman. They did that for us and for them as well.” Kaswal niyang pang e-explain. 

And this is what fueled my amusement for Ciel Alfieri. He knows how to talk about the worst things without breaking down. Sobrang chill niya as a person.

But somehow, it scares me. Because he was too subtle that it would be hard for me to distinguish the real from not. 

“Anyway, what a noble profession that your mom decided to pursue.” Sabi ko na lang. 

Tumango siya at ngumisi. “I know. She’s amazing. My sister adored her so much that she wanted to be like her when she grows up.” 

I smiled. That’s cute.

“How about you? Don’t you want to be like your Mom?” 

Umiling siya. “I want to be like my Dad. Gusto kong maging isang piloto.” 

“Then pursue it!”

Natawa siya nang bahagya. “Dreaming is easy but facing the pressure is not. I came from a family of pilots. My grandfather is a pilot, my dad’s a pilot, my cousins are also going to become pilots, tapos ako, ballpen lang ang pilot sa’kin. Pulot pa minsan.” 

Natawa ako sa kanya. “Baliw.” I said rolling my eyeballs. “But you know, I really believe that if you’re really passionate about something wala kang hindi kayang tiisin para bagay na mahal na mahal mo. You know what beats the pressure? Determination.” I said, smiling at him.

“Sandali! Totoo ba itong nakikita ko mga pre?” 

My smile automatically fell the moment I heard Adam’s voice. Damn. Why do assholes suddenly appear?