Chapter 23

Words I hated To Hear From You

Nothing is constant. Everything changes. Sometimes it would take you a decade, a year, months, days, weeks, and sometimes it would only take a few seconds… a few seconds for your life to turn upsidedown.

I’ve been back to school for a month and a few weeks now. Am I living my life like a normal girl does? No. Of course not. After that disgusting video? After looking like a big fat liar for claiming that I was sexual harassed? There’s no way in hell that these people around me would let me live like a normal girl.

Ganoon naman, eh. When you do something good, nobody else notices it. But when you screwed up once, suddenly, all eyes are on you. They will all start to define you, judge you, and think the worst of you. And it’s funny because they don’t even know the whole story.

Nagitla ako at nahila ng realidad nang dumampi ang isang malamig at basang bagay sa aking pisngi. I jolted and yanked away from it as I stared up just to meet Ciel’s lazy grin.

It was then I realized that he bought me an ice cold bottled water. “Inom ka na nang gamot mo. Ipinanghingi na rin kita sa clinic.” He said, placing the bottled water and a sealed tablet of mefenamic acid on my desk before finally sitting beside me.

I smiled at him. “Sabi mo mag C-CR ka lang…” I said.

I have been silently groaning before our Biology class even started. I didn’t tell him, I was trying to be discreet as possible but he still noticed. He asked me what’s happening and I told him that I’m having menstrual cramps. Gusto niya akong dalhin sa clinic pero hindi ko pumayag, it’s our Biology period. There’s no way that I’m gonna miss this.

“Mag thank you ka na lang, Clavel.” Aniya.

Natawa ako nang bahagya kahit na ramdam ko pa rin ang pananakit ng puson ko. “Thank you po,” I smiled sweetly at him.

Napangisi siya at bahagyang naningkit ang mga mata. “Feeling mo niyan cute ka?” He teased, making my smile fall into a slight frown.

Mas lalong lumawak ang mga ngisi niya. “Kunsabagay. Cute ka naman.”

“Alam mo? Pinapaasa mo na naman ako. Banat-banat ka tapos maya-maya sasabihin mo you can’t reciprocate my feelings.” I told him, honestly and bravely in a joking manner.

He didn’t answer. He actually went quiet for a few seconds as his grin slowly leaves his face.

He eyed the bottle and the tablet on my desk. “Inumin mo na para mawala na ‘yang sakit ng puson mo.”

“Chill. I was just kidding. Friends can give each other compliments.” I say, looking at him with a small grin forming on my lips. “You have hot as fuck curls and a dimple that is so irresistible not to look at everytime it appears.” I said, giving him a compliment… or simply stating two of the many things that I love about him.

“See? Compliment!” Bawi ko kaagad.

He eyed me for a second, his features are getting lighter as a low yet sexy chuckle rose from his throat.

“Now I know why you rarely give compliments… they can make the receiver go speechless.” He said, grinning at me for a few seconds before eyeing the bottle and the tablet. “Go drink that already.” He said, nodding at my desk.

I nodded my head as I do what he say. He didn’t take his eyes off me. While I was unsealing the tablet, opening the cap, popping the tablet into my mouth, and drinking the water from the bottle. He was watching me all the time.

After resealing the cap, he looked at me with full of anticipation.

“You feeling better now?” He asked.

I shot him a weird look. “Are you fucking serious, Alfieri?” Natatawa kong tanong sa kanya.

He didn’t answer, he just looked at me.

A soft chuckle escaped from my mouth as I rolled my eyes at him. “Masakit pa rin… Kakainom ko lang, e but it’ll be gone in a few minutes. Thank you… again.” I said, smiling at him.

He nodded before avoiding my gaze.

Itinuon ko na lang din ulit ang atensyon ko kay sir Zamora. He just finished discussing the menstrual cycle and about the rise and low of estrogen and progesterone levels during the cycle.

“Kaya kayo boys, kung may girlfriend man kayo, intindihin niya kung bakit minsan ay emotional sila kasi ganyan ‘yung nangyayari sa loob nila tuwing menstrual cycle nila.” Sir Zamora said.

I felt Ciel gave me a quick glance after sir Zamora said that. I saw it through my peripheral vision but my eyes remained in front… I don’t want him to know that I can’t take my eyes off him, that it takes every ounce of me not to look at him.

I touched and played with the pendant of the necklace that he gave me instead as I try to focus on sir Zamora’s words. Listening attentively to a lesson before was way too easy for me but having Ciel sitting beside me had to take a lot of effort before I can finally focus on the speaker in front.

We were in the middle of the discussion when my classmate raises a hand, causing sir Zamora to stop talking. “Yes? You have any question?” He asked.

“Opo, sir. Sir, lahat po ba ng mga lalaki matic na nage-ejaculate?” He asked.

Umiling si sir Zamora. “No. Not all men ejaculate… may mga lalaki na hindi iyon ginagawa.”

“E, sir sabi niyo po kailangan ng lalaki na mag ejaculate. So, ano po’ng mangyayari sa mga lalaking hindi nag e-ejaculate?” Curious na curious na tanong nito. This guy doesn’t usually listen to class… but now he is. Ah, the power of reproductive system.

A grin formed across sir Zamora’s face. “That was what I was about to ask,” he said facing the class. “Class, ano sa tingin niyo ang mangyayari kapag ang isang lalaki ay hindi nag e-ejaculate?” he asked the whole class.

“Matitigang siya, sir.” Ciel replied like nobody’s business as he inspects the skin on the side of his nails. The whole class laughed even though it wasn’t his intention to make everyone laugh.

“Gago ka!” Tumatawang sabi ni Colton na nakaupo sa harapan namin katabi si Cyprian.

“Totoo naman, gago. Tanong mo pa sa kanya.” Maloko niya pa’ng sagot. Napailing na lang si Colton sa kanya.

“Other answer,” Iling-iling na sabi ni sir Zamora habang nakangisi dahil sa sagot ni Ciel.

I raised my hand.

“Oh, Ms. Clavel.” He addressed me and I took that as a cue to stand up.

“Since it is necessary for men to have at least 21times of release per month, for men who don’t ejaculate, ‘yung katawan niya po mismo ‘yung magti-trigger sa kanya na kailangan niya na ng release by having a wet dream.” I said.

Ngumiti si sir Zamora. “Very good, Ms. Clavel. Plus five ka sa post test mamaya.” He said.

I smiled. “Thank you, sir.” I said and before I could even sit Logan suddenly voiced out his comment that I am not asking for.

“Ang galing talaga ni Mona pagdating sa mag titi!” He said and I felt my muscles turned stiff as all my blood went rushing through my face. I clenched my fist the moment I heard some of my classmates laughed. It was always like this, almost half of the class thinks that I’m a slut ever since that video was spread into the whole class.

“Putang—“ Ciel was about to snap but I immediately held him by the shoulder to stop him. I quickly shook my head while looking into his eyes. His jaw clenched hard for solid five seconds before finally letting out a harsh sigh.

Isinandal niya ang ang likod niya sa inuupuan niya sabay hilamos sa kanyang mukha gamit ang kanyang mga palad. It’s as if it’s his way of calming himself.

Hinarap ko si Logan na ngayon ay tumatawa pa rin.

“But in your case, Logan… kahit mag ejaculate ka pa habang nag we-wet dream, hindi ka pa rin lalabasan… wala ka naman kasing bayag. And oh, hindi lang ako sa mga titi magaling, I’m also good with vaginas and as well as how other internal organs work— the heart is my forte, how about you, Logan? Aside from being a dick, what are you good at?” I savagely said, making the whole class cheer, sina Ciel ang pinakamaingay syempre.

“You bitch!” Logan hissed.

I just grinned at him before raising my pinky finger to represent his small wiener before taking my seat. Mas lalong naghiyawan ang buong klase.

“Oh, ano! Wala ka pala, eh!” Mayabang at nanghahamong hiyaw ni Colton.

“Ano, putangina imik!” Ciel yelled with full of arrogance.

“Bago niyo kasi awayin si Mona dapat nagre-review muna kayo! Mga bobo!” Cyprian said, proudly.

Logan raised his middle finger towards our direction and the three Cs’ did, too. They raised two middle fingers towards Logan while booing him as they show their most arrogant yet intimidating expressions, not letting Logan win.

“Tama na ‘yan…” Mahina kong saway sa kanila pero hindi nila ako pinakinggan. Nakipag sukatan pa talaga sila ng titig kay Logan habang nakataas pa rin ang mga middle fingers nila.

“Alfieri, Abrigo, Ponce de Leon! Tama na ‘yan!” Saway ni sir Zamora sa tatlo at ‘di nagtagal ay sumunod naman ang mga ito. He then faced Logan.

“And you, Logan. Get out of my class.” He said with full of authority. Logan was taken aback.

“Pero sir—“

“Out! Hindi ko kailangan ng mga bastos dito sa klase ko.”

Logan paused for a few seconds before angrily getting up from his seat. “Fuck you!” Sigaw niya dito sa direksyon namin bago tuluyang lumabas ng classroom.

“Damn… men are trash.” Iling-iling na sabi ni Ciel habang sinusundan nang tingin si Logan.

“I know right.” Cyprian agreed and his eyes were also at Logan’s.

Sir Zamora started discussing again as if nothing happened. My eyes are fixed in front but my mind was being jinxed by the conversation that I had with my Dad a few days ago through Skype. 

He was angry. That was the first time that he raised his voice at me. I was taken aback, I couldn’t speak, and so I walked out from the room, leaving my Mom there para sila na lang ni Daddy ang mag-usap.

I was being slut shamed almost everyday, verbally harassed, being stared as if I was the most disgusting human being, you name it. There was even this one time when I was alone in the corridor while walking on my way to the comfort room and before I could even reach the girl’s comfort room, a hand firmly held my wrist, pulling me inside the men’s comfort room. 

It was Adam De Guzman. I was taken aback and my muscles went stiff. Hindi ako makagalaw dahil sa takot, my back was pressed on the wall, I was cornered by him and he was staring at me salaciously while tucking some strands of my hair behind my ear. 

“You know, Mona... no matter how hard you try to resist, I will still make sure that you’d end up with me. Lahat ng gusto ko, nakukuha ko.” He whispered, grinning before pressing his lips on my ear. 

I tried to jerk away from him but his hands held my arms firmly, his hold was so firm that I could feel it on my bones. It hurts. I wanted to scream for help but with the way how people stared at me? They won’t believe me. They all think that I wanted this. 

Hindi lang sa classroom kumalat ang video. Ang mga kaklase namin ay may mga kaibigan mula sa kabi-kabilang section, I bet they showed that video to others kaya ganyan na lamang sila makatingin sa akin parati. 

I just shut my eyes tightly, trying to think of ways to get away from him but I couldn’t think of anything. Nauunahan ako nang takot at panic. He was always like this. Sometimes he would stare at me until I feel uncomfortable. 

“Putangina mo! Hindi ka ba talaga titigil, ha?!” 

I opened my eyes when I heard a loud familiar voice booming around the room. And there I saw Colton, holding Adam by the collar. 

“What’s happening here?” It was Ciel’s voice. 

“Itong putanginang ‘to! Binabastos na naman si Mona!” 

“Ano?” Ciel’s voice was low and dark as he takes slow steps towards Adam who was being held by Colton on his collar. Hindi pa siya nagpapatinag talaga, nakangisi pa siya habang inaantay na makalapit si Ciel. 

I was about to stop them because the tension between the three of them is palpable but then Cyprian put his arm around me. 

“Ayos ka lang ba? Halika na. Lumabas na tayo dito… Doon na natin hintayin ang dalawa.” Punong-puno nang pag-aalala ang boses niya. 

“Cyprian, pigilan mo sila. Mag-aaway sila.” Nanginginig ang boses kong sabi. 

He didn’t answer me, he just urged me to get out of the men’s comfort room. 

“Cyprian… ayoko na nang gulo, please.” I begged him. 

He eyed me for a second before letting out a deep sigh. “Oo na. Pipigilan ko na… hintayin mo kami dito, ha?” Marahan niyang sabi sa akin. Tumango lang ako. 

Hindi natuloy ang away nila Colton, Ciel, at Adam but my Mom and Dad still found out about it. They have eyes in here that are looking after me. Lahat nang nangyayari sa’kin dito, alam nila. 

They both think that it is not safe for me to stay here… Dad wanted to take me with him to Boston. Ayaw ko. Ayaw kong umalis. 

Dahil kapag umalis ako dito ay parang pinatunayan ko na lang na totoo lahat nang ibinibintang nila sa akin. 

Kung mayroon mang dapat umalis, sina Adam ‘yon. Hindi ako! 

“Mona… you alright?” Reality pulled me in when I heard Ciel’s voice. I tilted my face to look at him, he was already looking at me. 

“What’s up, huh? Ayos ka lang ba? Masakit pa rin ba ang pakiramdam mo?” Marahan at sunod-sunod niyang tanong sa akin, habang inaalis ang mga ilang hibla ng buhok ko na nagkalat sa mukha ko. 

I smiled at him before shaking my head. The three of them still don’t know about my parents’ plan to take me out of this country. Hindi ko na sinabi dahil wala akong balak umalis. Hindi ako aalis. 

Just the thought of leaving them makes my heart ache. Ayaw kong umalis. I will still try my best to convince Dad. 

“Then what’s wrong? Iniisip mo ba ‘yung sinabi ni Logan, huh? Don’t mind his nonsense comments, Mona. O kahit sino pa man ‘yang nagsasabi ng mga masasamang bagay tungkol sa’yo. Their words can’t make you less of an amazing woman that you are… don’t ever forget that.” He gently said, putting all his sincerity on his tongue to his words. 

His words never failed to infiltrate me and there’s no way for me to resist because I like it better when I’m consuming his words. He just know how to make me feel good and appreciated. 

I gave him a warm smile. “I won’t.” I whispered. He nodded as a small smile drew across his face, giving me glimpse of his irresistible dimple again. Ah, one of my favorite sight. 

“May gagawin kami mamaya sa library ng mga groupmates ko… I think we’ll be done by 6:30… I still don’t want to go home. Can I watch your volleyball practice instead?” 

His smile grew wider. “Of course, you can. Ako na lang ang maghahatid sa’yo pauwi.” He said and before I could even respond, sir Zamora spoke. 

“Okay class, get an activity sheet and number your papers one to twenty.” 

--

“Grabe, ang galing mo talaga mag manage ng time. Kapag sinabi mong 6:30 matatapos, 6:30 nga matatapos. Kaya sa’yo ako, eh.” Castro cheered while we’re on our way out of the university library. 

“Ewan ko sa’yo…” Iling-iling kong sabi. “Dito na lang ako, Castro. Mag-iingat ka.” Sabi ko nang tuluyan na kaming makalabas ng UnivLib.

“Hala? Hindi ka pa uuwi?” Gulat niyang tanong.

Umiling ako. “Sabay kami ni Alfieri. Manonood ako ng training niya.” I told her, trying so hard to smile like an idiot. Nakakakilig kasing pakinggan. 

“Isang malaking sana all! Gusto ko rin ng Ciel Alfieri!” Napanguso siya. 

“Akin na ‘yon, hoy.” I joked. Ayaw nga niya sa’kin, eh. Friends lang daw. Tss. 

She giggled like an idiot. “Tangina. Nakakakilig talaga kayong dalawa!” 

“Biro lang. Friends lang kami.” Bawi ko. 

“Wow. Sana all may friend na gaya ni Ciel..  Idagdag mo pa si  Colton, at Cyprian! Ikaw na talaga, Mona! Ikaw na talaga ang babaeng pinagpala sa lahat!” She said, exaggeratedly raising her hands in the air. 

I let out a short laugh. “Hay nako, Castro. Umuwi ka na nga at baka gabihin ka pa. Ang layo-layo pa naman ng bahay mo.” 

“Uy. G na G na makita si Fafa Alfieri! Pero sige na, mauuna na ako. Ingat ka!” 

“Ingat ka din!” I told her before we finally separate ways. Bago ako nagpunta ng gym ay dumiretso muna ako sa yellow canteen to buy a bottled water, a carbonara in a cup, and a pack of salty crackers.

Pagpasok na pagpasok ko pa lang ay kaagad hinanap ng mga mata ko si Ciel. The team were all scattered doing their own thing. May umiinom ng tubig, may nakaupo sa sahig habang hinihingal, may mga iba namang nakikipag usap sa mga ka team nila habang hinihingal rin. Just like Ciel and Archie. 

Ciel was panting and his body and whole face were bathing with sweat… He used the round collar of his jersey to wipe his face and as the fabric slides down, he caught it in between his teeth. 

Irresistible dimple. Slighty bouncing hot as fuck curls. Ciel biting the fabric of his round collar— let’s add this one to my fifty favorite sights of Ciel Alfieri. 

Archie’s eyes went to my direction, his eyes narrowed for a bit before looking back at Ciel. May sinabi siya na naging dahilan upang pati si Ciel ay mapatingin dito sa gawi ko. 

His teeth released the fabric of his round collar (aw) but then a warm grin drew across his face (good Lord) as he began to approach me. 

“Hey,” he greeted me. 

“Hey,” I greeted back. 

“Nagutom ka yata sa research niyo?” He said, eyeing the food that I was holding. 

Umiling ako. “These are for you… sakto, break niyo?” 

Ngumiti siya at tumango. “Damn… You really know what I like. But I can’t eat that pasta now. Hindi pa tapos ang training.” He silently groaned. 

“Sayang naman.” I said and I couldn’t hide the dismay on my face. Excited pa naman akong ibigay sa kanya ‘to kasi alam ko gusto niya ang carbonara. 

“I’ll take the skyflakes for now… tapos kakainin ko mamaya ‘yung carbonara pagkatapos ng training.” He said. 

“Hindi na mainit, hindi na masarap.” 

“Masarap… binigay mo, eh.” 

I paused. He noticed. 

“S-Syempre, kapag binigay ng kaibigan ko ma-appreciate ko. Si Cyprian nga binigyan ako ng Kinder Joy kahit ang tanda ko na, tuwang-tuwa pa ‘ko. Cute nga nung laruan na nakuha ko, eh. Si Elsa.” Bawi niya kaagad na naging dahilan upang matawa ako. 

“Really? Anong ginawa mo doon kay Elsa? Dinisplay mo?” 

Umiling siya. “Nilaro ko muna tapos binigay ko na kay Megi.” He said, smirking. Hindi ko talaga alam kung seryoso ba siya o ano pero hindi ko talaga mapigilang matawa. 

“Paano ‘yung laro?” I teased. 

Before he could even speak, Archie suddenly showed up behind him and he was with another varsity player na hindi ko kakilala pero kateam nila Ciel. 

“Hi, Mona!” Archie greeted me. I smiled at him. 

“Naligaw ka yata… wala naman dito ang bebe Colton mo, ah.” he smirked, giving Ciel a teasing glance. 

Ciel grinned. “Outdated ka. Ako na kaya ang crush niya.” He joked, slightly pushing Archie on the shoulder. 

Humalakhak si Archie. “Gago, tumira ka na naman ng katol.” 

“Ayos ka pala, Alfieri… Mahilig ka pala sa mga wild.” The guy suddenly said, giving me glances that made me feel uncomfortable. 

Biglang natahimik. Maging si Archie ay natigilan sa sinabi niya. 

“Bakit? Totoo naman, ah. Ipinakita nga sa’kin ni Adam ‘yung video. Fetish mo daw ‘yon, miss? Yung naka record kapag nagsesex? Open ka din daw for threesome, sali naman ak—” before he could even finish his sentence, Ciel’s fist landed on his jaw causing him to be taken aback. 

“What the fuck!” He said in shock and before he could even recover, Ciel pushed him on the chest, it was hard that it caused him to fall on the floor. Sinamantala ni Ciel iyon para pumaimbabaw siya sa lalaki, paulit-ulit niya itong sinasapak sa mukha. 

The guy tried to throw a punch on Ciel, it landed on his lips, causing it to bleed but that didn’t stop Ciel from throwing punches at him.

“Ciel!” I screamed, trying to stop him. Maging si Archie ay pilit na inaalis si Ciel sa ibabaw ng lalaki but Ciel was just too strong. His whole face and neck are turning red in much anger. His teeth were even tightly clenched as he kept on punching the guy’s face. 

Nagsitakbuhan na rin ang mga kateam niya dito sa amin pati na rin ang coach nila. 

Binitawan ko kaagad ang mga hawak ko at hinawi si Archie at ang mga iba pang umaawat kay Ciel. Damn! He’s going to kill him! 

I didn’t know what to do or how to stop him because he was livid as hell… Wala na siyang marinig, kinakain na siya nang galit niya. 

I was so scared and shattered to see him like this. 

“Ciel…” I wrapped my arms around him. “Ciel, tama na… Please, tama na...” I cried as I hugged him tight. And from my embrace, I felt his muscles turned weak. 

“Get off me, son of a bitch!” Daing ng lalaki. Basag ang kilay niya at ang labi niya. 

“Let’s go…” I gently said, guiding him to stand up. 

“Ano ba ang nangyayari sa’yo, Alfieri? Tingnan mo ang ginawa mo!” Galit na galit na sabi ng coach nila nang makatayo na si Ciel nang tuluyan. 

Hindi sumagot si Ciel. Tiim bagang lamang siyang nakatingin sa baba. 

“Hindi ka magsasalita? Sige, you are one week suspended from our training!” 

“S-Sir, h’wag naman po… H-Hindi naman po niya sinasadya—” 

“Anong hindi sinasadya? Binasag niya ang mukha ko!” 

“Coach, na provoke lang po si Ciel. Binastos kasi ni Santos itong si Mona na kaibigan niya.” Archie tried to explain. 

“Hindi pa rin ‘yon sapat na dahilan para manapak na lang siya basta-basta! Tingnan mo ang ginawa niya kay Santos!”

Natawa nang pagak si Ciel. “Hindi sapat? Parang wala kang anak na babae, coach, ah.” Sarcastic at iling-iling niyang sabi. “Sige, coach. Suspend niyo na lang ako ng one week.  I’m so tired of arguing to make you all understand the real essence of respect.”  Ciel said before facing me, holding me by the wrist. 

“Umuwi na tayo.” Maawtoridad njyang sabi at iginaya ako paalis. Nagpunta muna kami sa may locker area nila para kunin ang mga gamit niya. 

Walang nagsalita sa aming dalawa hanggang sa makarating kami sa loob ng sasakyan niya. He started the engine and turned the AC on but he didn’t put the car on drive. 

He was just firmly gripping the steering wheel and his forehead was pressed against the middle part of it.

“Ciel, I’m sorry…” I broke the silence with my broken voice. I know how important his sport was for him.

He tilted his face to look at me. His features are firm and intimidating.

Hindi siya sumagot, tiningnan niya lang ako. I was frustrated with the way he looks at me because I couldn't read his expression, I couldn’t read his eyes. 

“Ciel…” I called him, almost breathless. 

“Your Dad talked to me last night… He asked me to convince you to go with him in Boston. Ngayong sabado na ang flight mo ‘di ba?” He broke the silence, his voice was low and I couldn’t find emotions there. 

My eyes narrowed. “Y-You knew about that?” 

“Mona, I think they’re right. It’s better if you’d just leave.” His words are like needles, torturing my heart.