CHAPTER 16

Eiichi was not made as the leader of HEAVENS for no reason. Instead, he always did his best as the leader figure in idol industry who anybody wished to be and meet. He was smart, and responsible. For his teammates, he was someone that anybody could rely on given how caring he was. Even the hard-headed and brusque Yamato also warmed up to him.

But behind the strong frame, Eiichi concealed the very fragile side that only Raging Otori knew. But instead of offering a solution or comfort as a father, Otori manipulated his first son. He constantly put the pressure of being the epitome of Raging Entertainment until Eiichi was not only suffocated but leading his life as if he was hypnotized 24/7. He functioned like a robot; obeying his father without further questions.

Eiichi had learned as much as he could remember that it was never easy to satisfy Otori's greed and desire. So, when Otori himself had literally provided him with a 'silver spoon' which was Ittoki Otoya's background information, he had spent a lot of time to study the them.

Indeed, this information was rare and precious. Up until now, everyone was convinced that the great Shining Saotome never married nor had a lover.

But now, in his hand, he had found that the fact was fake. Saotome might not marry anyone but he certainly had a love child. Whether it was a one-night stand or a long-term lover, the informer did not get to explore deep into it. But for sure, Saotome used to have a relationship with his composer who disappeared shortly after that.

And Otoya also happened to inherit the history which was being in love with his composer. The difference was Otoya had a more stable relationship with Haruka but with no child.

"Use it so that HEAVENS can beat STARISH."

His father's voice echoed back in his head; it was an order that he could not ignore after all. That was why he spent hours to consider what his father had implied beyond the personal background of his duet partner.

Hours passed but he had no clue what to do. If he had to ask his father again, he would be insulted with 'colorful' words like 'stupid', 'useless', 'dimwit' and so on.

"Why should I care about his personal background anyway? At this moment, it's our song that matters..."

He paused as something crossed his mind.

"Does Dad seriously expect me to wrack that Ittoki so that it can ruin STARISH in the long run?"

Out of those seven members in HEAVENS, why he had to be paired up with Eiichi? The man seemed like he always had venom in his mouth like a snake that he always belittled STARISH in every opportunity that he got. With such a toxic personality, they should pair Eiichi up with someone strong like Ren or Syo.

But, during the first meeting, Otoya had learned that while the first impression lasted longer and held the importance for the relationship development between two people, it did not really cast what kind of person Eiichi really was. Their first meeting for the duet project, which was also joined by Haruka as the composer...

It turned out surprisingly peaceful.

"I believe we don't need to act too formal. Just act like friends who motivate each other to do better will promise a success for our duet project, Otoya."

Of course, the man should address him by his name but to hear that usually intimidating and so-called almighty voice called his first name sent the chill down his spine. Otoya could not help but flinching and kept more distance between him and the man.

What the heck is this person doing!? His heart screamed as if he was a robbery victim who desperately needed help but was held hostage by the culprit.

"You can call me Eiichi too, you know."

While Haruka... she knew instantly that this situation had been the red flag. If this would go the same way with the original timeline, she should let Eiichi had his way.

In the original timeline, Eiichi used the excuse of him wanting to bring Otoya's true self out of the redhead so that they could produce the most intense and soul-shaking song compared to other duet projects. Given Otoya who tended to sing upbeat rock songs, Eiichi's justification had made him agreed with the man.

Of course, in the beginning, the process did not start smoothly. Otoya exploded when Eiichi harshly threw his lyrics to the floor. Eiichi calmly explained that their song needed something more intense. Nobody questioned how on earth a stranger and STARISH's competitor like him knew that Otoya still did not completely express himself out just from reading the lyrics.

Little did everyone know, Eiichi already did a background check on Otoya. That was what the guitarist had told them afterward in the original timeline. Eiichi already knew that Otoya was raised in an orphanage after his aunt died on him.

"Okay, Eiichi," Otoya said hesitantly.

"So, Otoya," Eiichi continued right away, "What are your thoughts on previous duet projects so far?"

Otoya blinked at the question. He was not the type to think deeply and metaphorically so he simply said, "Well, everyone has been amazing."

"Sure, we can't deny the fact. So, that's why, we as the last duet project, we should do what those six duet projects do not explore yet. In other words, our song should be intense and soul-shaking."

"Intense and soul-shaking?" Otoya repeated, eyes instantly cast his puzzlement at how Eiichi emphasized the words in determination.

"Do you mean that you want to sing an intense song that you never try singing before?" Haruka interrupted calmly.

"Yes, exactly," Eiichi exclaimed, eyes glittered at how quick she caught his words. "You, Nanami Haruka should write a soul-shaking song that will surpass the rest of the duet project."

Unlike in the original timeline, this time, Haruka's heart thumped so loud against her chest.

This was just so wrong in many levels.

As they were waiting for their company cars to pick them up while Otoya went to the toilet, Haruka took off her mask of innocence right away. She turned to Eiichi, eyes looking dagger at the guy who towered over her with his height.

"I will be direct with you, Otori-san," she began coldly which sent Eiichi's purple eyes to size up. "Don't try anything funny with Otoya-kun."

"Excuse me, Haruka? What are you talking..." His words were cut off by her palm which she lifted on his face level. He could sense how tense the aura around them had turned, thanks to her interposing him from talking nor defensing himself.

"I appreciate if you treat this duet project as a solely business relationship so please stick with the formality. We're not that familiar with each other to call by our first name yet," she added, much to the man's shock. "As for Otoya-kun, please use a genuine method to achieve your goal in creating an amazing song. I understand you want him to write an outstanding lyrics but if you try to wreck his emotion with whatever psychology method that you think it will work, I won't sit and do nothing. I would rather compose a crappy song that will cause our president to scold me instead of letting you manipulate Otoya-kun."

Shit! Does she know something?

"Haru... No, I mean Nanami-san... I think there is a misunderstanding here. I know, I tend to be a bit aggressive and intimidating. That's what people always tell me all the time," he bitterly chuckled. Despite loving to sing more than acting, he did have acting skill that could match professional actors. "I cannot blame you for thinking that way since STARISH and HEAVENS were supposed to be competitors. Either we like it or not, we ended up in this duet projects to brush up our skills. I tend to be all-out when I work and this is the method that I always use. I am sorry if I come out as too pushy with your husband. Man, even my teammates also still say the same thing sometimes. I promise I will be less proactive after this."

Seconds passed. She still stared at the man, did not intend to show what she felt outright.

The fact that she still did not trust the man... the man should not know that.

"Glad to hear that," Haruka replied solemnly as she turned her gaze away, indicating the end of their conversation.

Otoya was nowhere a planner like his ex-roommate, Tokiya. The guitarist did everything by instinct. When the idea struck, he jotted it down before constructing the words into proper lyrics with flowery sentences. When Eiichi expected him to be true with himself, he never thought it much. He just expressed how ecstatic he was with his life which seemed perfect with friends and a perfect wife. He put them down in his lyrics with genuine feelings after listening to the instrumental version of their duet song over and over again. He often stayed until late at night, hopefully he would achieve the level of the soul-shaking song that Eiichi had dreamed of.

But, it was to no avail. After seemingly scanning the lyrics, Eiichi did not take time to throw his lyrics to the floor during their next meeting.

"What do you think you're doing!?" Otoya yelled right away. This time, he was glad that Haruka was not around so no one would calm him down for yelling and almost started a fight.

"This is not good enough, Otoya," instead of flinching at Otoya's spontaneous reaction, Eiichi pointed out the flaws in the lyric right away with his straight face. "Well, considering it came from you, I should not have expected something amazing anyway."

The redhead balled his hands into fists as they still rested on his thighs. His anger started to rise to his head as the man did not only bother to apologize but he was all complacent as he belittled Otoya's skill.

Who did he think he was? Acting like a judge and coach when they were on the same level. They were both from two groups which would compete in Triple S decisive concert so why on earth Otoya had to seek Eiichi's approval and acknowledgement? He just could proceed with his idea and let Eiichi went nuts instead.

"And who are you to say that right on my face? I don't think I need your approval, Otori Eiichi," Otoya said, losing his coolness and bubbly voice.

Come to think of it, when was the last time he used the same stern and scary tone?

Ah, yes, that moment. The last time his voice turned eerie out of the blue was when his friends from the orphanage made fun of him for always listening to Saotome's old song.

He had made an oath to himself that he would just show what kind of person that people expected from Ittoki Otoya.

Smiling and shining like the sun who constantly brought light to other people with no worries...

"Yes, that emotion. That's what I am talking about and what are we about to achieve, Otoya," Eiichi leaned to give his shoulders encouraging squeeze, "your true self. You get angry when you feel angry. You are insulted when people insult you. Then only you can produce the best soul-shaking lyrics for our song."

"Then, did you do this just to provoke me?" Otoya said, his voice slightly shaking from carrying his anger.

"Well, the answer is with you all the time. You know how yourself behave when you're provoked and desperate."

That made Otoya felt the chill flowed down to his spine again.

Otoya was staring at the reflection of himself in the dressing room as he was pondering on Eiichi's words.

You know how yourself behave when you're provoked and desperate.

Yes, he always knew how he reacted when he was in both situations.

Absent-mindedly, he took out a picture from his wallet before staring at it longingly.

It was the picture of a wide sunflower area which his aunt had promised to go there with him had she recovered from her illness.

But it was never fulfilled since she left him first. She was the only family who he had but she had to die early. Living in a crowded but fun orphanage was never the same. His heart missed the true surrounding of a family.

A group of people who would love each other unconditionally.

A group of people who was meant to live together in the same house from the start.

Not a crowded place which was full of a bunch of kids who were abandoned or left.

"Otoya..." A soft voice came from behind, sending him to put the picture back in its spot in hurry. The reaction was natural for him since he had cultivated it since he was small.

Tokiya was staring at him with his poker face.

"Are you having problems with your lyrics? I heard from Nanami-san that you always stayed up late at night."

You should show your true self more, Otoya.

Eiichi's convincing voice just made him shook his head to erase the thought. It definitely caught Tokiya's attention.

"Is there something wrong?"

"Huh?" Otoya cracked his eyes open. "No, nothing. I mean... Yeah, the lyrics... Eiichi stated that something is missing in my lyrics. It doesn't really fit with Haruka's strong melody."

Little did he know, Tokiya was digesting every single word and tone from him.

"Could it be..." Tokiya supplied, being surprised at how cold his voice turned out despite he was supposed to play dumb. "Rather than thinking, you're aiming to write lyrics based on what you really feel?"

Otoya flinched at how correct the guess was.

"Whatever you're thinking of doing, I hope you don't end up losing yourself at the end and make those who care about you worried. You have all of us to rely on, Otoya. Remember that."  

Bad! This is bad. I absolutely cannot sit here with this guy.

"No, of course not! Why should I write lyrics based on what I truly feel? It's not like I am going to make a confession or something, right? Haha," he still ended up blurting the awkward laugh despite he knew that the serious Tokiya would not play along with him. "I think... Since I am not that inspired, I am going to take a walk around the studio. I will be back in 30 minutes before the recording, okay?"

He walked away as his eyes gazed straight ahead, did not bother to glance at Tokiya.

Which was totally fine since the blue head himself had a lot of thoughts in his mind that he felt tired to pretend like nothing serious happened.

I literally had given you a warning, Otoya. After this, it's up to you to make the best choice for Nanami-san and yourself.

Strolling to clear his mind...

As if...

When he was alone in the park, Otoya ended up spacing out again.

Being true to myself... is it the only choice that I have?

I tried so hard to conceal what I truly feel all this time. It's definitely not easy to smile around like nothing happens.

It was so tough and physically draining to act how much he loved Haruka so that he would gain Saotome's attention to him. Knowing that he needed to improve a lot of his skills, saving for his dancing skill according to Ringo, he needed to find a shortcut.

That was when Nanami Haruka barged into his life, always invading his privacy with her sweet words about her late husband from future. She always made him uncomfortable with her angst. While he did have the strange affection to the composer which he believed that it was love, he would habitually brush it off. He hated to feel the love. He despised the growing affection in his heart every time she was around.

He had grown as a man with no belief towards love, affection and all sorts.

Not to mention the other STARISH members... he could only chuckle at how fake they acted around this time.

"Otoya," he had no idea how long he was dragged to his deep thought when a tap on his shoulder followed by a pair of curious cyan eyes served him the sight of Syo.

"Syo?" He could not conceal his shock before realizing that it had been long since he had spoken well with his teammates. For some reason, the fact that they lived separately after Otoya's marriage had contributed more to the reasons why he no longer contacted others frequently. It was not too much for Otoya to say that STARISH was just a business group who would cut ties with each other once they were not restrained by the group and contract.

"Do you have a recording here?" Syo asked, surprisingly sounded natural.

The thought that he and Syo had always in a good term just like how Masato and Tokiya were always referred as peas in a pod had thumped his chest maliciously.

But, there was no use to dwell in such nostalgia and emotions. All of them would leave him anyway so he better prepared for the outcome.

"Yes, with Tokiya," he replied, shifting so that he would give a space for the guy to sit beside him.

You said you want to prepare for the outcome and yet, you still anticipate to talk with Syo. Just decide already which side do you want to stay, Otoya, he was positive that he could hear someone whispered to his ears while smacking his back in frustration.

"I see. Mine was finished a few minutes ago and I was waiting for Natsuki to finish his," Syo said, eyeing him suggestively. "You spaced out just now, didn't you? Something happened?"

"No, not really," Otoya replied instantly.

"Hey, don't say that. You don't look good at all. Do you know Otoya? When you don't smile or look overall miserable, you don't look like yourself..."

"Do I look like myself only when I am smiling or laughing? Am I not allowed to feel sadness, anger or frustration at all? Am I supposed to accept every damn thing even when things don't go how I want or when those people treat me like trash!?"

It was too fast and loud for Syo's hearing. He was just stating the universal fact that was acknowledged by everyone including Otoya's fans but Otoya treated it like Syo just gave him a death threat.

Seconds passed. A pair of cyan eyes still exchanged gazes with another pair of red eyes. It did not only feel his words caught in his throat but Syo was also positive that Otoya could kill him with his glare.

Shit! What have I done? Regaining his composure, Otoya's voice yelled in his head.

"Otoya..." Syo's soft and guilty voice had made him flinched.

"I am... I am sorry. It's just that, I feel stressed out..."

"Is there something wrong with your duet project?"

"No. What makes you say that? Do you have to act like Tokiya as well? He's worried about nothing..."

"You always have fun with whatever project you involve in. It doesn't seem to be you to put a lot of pressure on yourself, Otoya. Did Eiichi..."

"No, he didn't," Otoya said coldly. He lowered his head to stare at the grass, suppressing his explosive emotion from surfacing. "Don't simply say that you know what kind of person I am when all of you focus on Haruka the most."

"What!? What kind of conclusion is that?" As expected, Syo shot up from his seat, looking dagger at him but Otoya chose to leave the spot. "Oi, Otoya! I am talking to you!"

But he still chose to leave.

This can't happen. There's definitely something suspicious with him. I must tell others, Syo thought before a call from Natsuki distracted him.

"Man, is that Ittoki Otoya of STARISH?"

Yes, I am. Got a problem with that?

"He's so cool! Don't you want to greet him?"

I appreciate if you don't disturb me at all. I am not in the mood to talk or smile.

"I am amazed that he can walk around without a disguise."

It's because I don't even bother to put up any.

Otoya ignored the girls who were his fans, lowering his head as he strolled down the town. People continued to whisper around him but it was a bless that they acted more understanding upon seeing him wearing a despondent expression.

That was when a limo saved him, parking just before he arrived at the bus stop.

"Otoya," Eiichi's voice echoed as soon as the car mirror was automatically pushed down. How the hell did the guy know where he was; it was one of the questions that clouded his head. "Let's go. I'll give you a ride."

Sure. This was way better than wandering aimlessly in the street and the on the next day, the gossip about him fighting with his wife circulated around. Certain journalists sure knew how to write a tragic novel instead of facts.

"A training camp?"

"Yup, just the two of us. We'll be using the facility in Raging Entertainment. My father already gave permission for me to bring you with me. Are you okay with that?"

"I guess yes. With how things turn out, the last thing I want to happen is me being unproductive and cause everyone trouble."

Eiichi chose to smirk instead of comforting the redhead. After all, he was used to be honest since that was how he was educated by his father. So, he was not going to comfort the redhead.

All Otoya needed was a truth. All Eiichi needed to do was to push the true self out of the man.

The pair immediately worked on their duet project as soon as they arrived at Raging Entertainment. At first, it was a silence since Eiichi gave Otoya space and time to think thoroughly and brainstorm for his lyrics. In a rare occasion, Eiichi would blurt out some random questions about Otoya's personal life which the redhead answered vaguely.

It was only almost an hour later, Eiichi decided to be work on his next plan. He could not wait any longer.

"Otoya, I think it won't hurt if you take a break for a few minutes," Eiichi suggested, putting down a glass of hot tea and a slice of cake on the desk which Otoya was using.

"Thank you but I will pass," Otoya said, red eyes still fixed on the papers between his arms. His head was scratched impatiently before he added, "With the due date and how you and Haruka could manage your works just fine, I have to be quick and efficient so that our song will surpass others."

Eiichi smirked. He knew the feeling that bloomed his heart lately was strange and downright abnormal but he could not help it. Instead of being frustrated with Otoya's lack of progress as the duet partner, Eiichi was thrilled.

Soul-shaking, huh? The answer is obvious, Otoya. It's you who constantly deny your true self.

"Then, shall we find the solution together?" Eiichi pulled a chair before sitting next to Otoya. "So that you can write the lyrics easily."

"How can you?" With the unstable emotions and his tense relationship with his wife and friends, Otoya could not help but losing his impatience easily. "You said that all I have to do is breaking out my shell and be my true self."

"Yes, I did."

"But, even I did that, I still have troubles with the lyrics. I cannot come up with any," Otoya confessed desperately. "And now, you said that you can help me when you barely know me."

"I didn't say that I can totally help you. The outcome must come from you after all but I can offer you some options that you might overlook given you seem to be under stress lately."

"And what are the options?"

"Otoya..." Eiichi rested his hand on the redhead's shoulder. "I believe that it's not like you to have troubles to come up with the lyrics. The lyrics, the words are already in your head. It's just that you refused to accept the really true self that you have."

That made Otoya stopped tapping his pen against the paper. Instead, he froze with how suspicious his partner sounded before fully turning to Eiichi with his eyes sized up.

"What are you on about? Why are you talking like you know me more than myself?" As if he just faced an enemy, he got up and stepped back. "This is ridiculous."

"Well, I think it's the time for you to know the truth," standing calmly and leaving Otoya dumbfounded without a proper answer, Eiichi made his way to one of the shelfs before taking out some documents. He leisurely made his way back to Otoya who was still glued on his spot.

"I am not sorry to say that I have done a background check on you, Otoya," he said nonchalantly as he lifted the documents to match Otoya's eye level.

"What are those?" Otoya said in horror.

How could it turn into something like this?

"I know almost everything about you, Otoya. You're not an orphan. You still have your family member which is your father. Am I right?"

What the hell is wrong with this man? He's sick.

Right now, he knew he was going to be exposed. It was difficult, considering nowadays he started to lose the fake him.

"I am leaving. This conversation is pointless and you just messed up my head even more," Otoya picked up his bag and turned to leave. "Sorry for making the disturbance."

"I just want to make your head clear, Otoya. That's why I am doing this," he said. "To bring out your true self. Your self who only longs for the love from your father..."

"Shut up, won't you?" The red eyes which always shone brightly, together with the smile that spread over his lips were no longer in sight. Instead of being bright, it was dark with warnings. "So, this is your trick to make STARISH feel intimidated and defeated, huh? You're trying to be understanding but at the end of the day, you're just a jerk. You're just a dumbass like your father who wants to play dirty with our president..."

"Your president is your father while my president is my father. Does it sound like I am the only one who really understands what it feels like to be you?"

His eyes widened.

"What... what are you on about? What kind of nonsense that you're trying to talk into me..."

"I did say that I did a background check on you, right? It's because I want to know you more and better as a duet partner and friend. A pair of singers can obtain chemistry and win the audience when they already learned about each other and knew exactly when to shine and encourage each other," Eiichi said. He formed a warm smile that Otoya unconsciously needed as an assurance that his stress and dark moments would find their way out again. "And it turns out that it's a cruel but amazing destiny that we end up working with each other. I am in your situation as well, Otoya. We look pathetic in our dads' eyes."

Otoya froze. Yet, his hand which clutched his black bag tightly told Eiichi that he had slowly gained the trust from the unofficial leader of STARISH.

"Yes, my father might take care of me just like how a normal parent would do but it hurt to be brough up only to have a high expectation on your shoulders right after you born. I wasn't allowed to dream and imagine the life that I want. It's true that I want to be an idol but I have no freedom to decide which path should I take and what should I do. He forced me to train under him when I already had another agency in my mind at that time. Not to mention the diet routine plan, my daily workout regime... they hurt me so much in order to satisfy my father's demand. These..." he vaguely pointed out his muscular body from his head to toe. "Are all the results of starvation, nonstop training and going in and out of hospital to get an IV drip. He pushed the image of a tall, dark and handsome idol into me when I don't even give a shit to how my body will look like as an idol. I just want to sing and work happily with my teammate."

Otoya's shoulders started to loosen up. The tension that his frame had endured all this time flew out smoothly into the air. Sure, he did hear rumors about how behind Otori family's glamorous life, Eiichi was actually not that close with his father. They appeared as a close-knit nation's father and son but in real life, they were not as affectionate to each other. Rather, they just wanted to live the life of what the media and fans had expected from them.

"I know. Your case is different mine. You have been raised in an orphanage after your aunt died. But, please tell me, Otoya. What do you really feel when you know Shining Saotome is your father, all rich and successful on his own?"

Otoya lowered his head, collecting his thought since his frame was always busy with a lot of emotions.

"I feel betrayed," he said weakly.

"Then, do you want to take a revenge?"

Otoya quickly lifted his head. Red eyes locked themselves with another purple pair. One with surprise and one with dark determination.

Instead of Reiji who directly said to Otoya that the guy did not look like himself when he did not smile, I chose Syo instead since I want to give him another scene to show up. Last but not least, I apologize for this very late update ;)