I imagined myself as a bird, flying over the back of the property where a large expanse of grass was carved out in the center of miles of trees, swooping down to see two naked bodies in the window of an otherwise empty cottage, glistening with sweat under a chandelier. I wondered if the bird would be able to tell by the way we explored each other's skin with our hands and our mouths late into the night, frantically searching and colliding, that our bodies were foreign to each other. Would the bird know from the way we didn't look away––even when it hurt to see his perfection carved out like a marble statue or the strangeness of my body reflected in his eyes––all that had been between us before that moment, the years and the pain and the miles and the what-ifs?

Darren fumbled his way around me, nervous and curious and shy. He was happy to let me guide him, my hand on his hand on my skin, our fingers intertwined, figure skating along the hills and valleys of my nakedness. I placed his hands between my legs and told him to hold me. He did as I asked and said my name, a deep, breathy whisper in my ear that rippled through the rest of me. We kissed until we were out of breath and then used our lips to trace where our hands had been. The sky began to change color when we finally collapsed on the floor and fell asleep wrapped in each other's arms.

In the morning, I refused to open my eyes as Darren began to stir. I could feel the warm sun rising in the window behind us. I remained frozen, scared that it had been a trick of the alcohol or the cottage in the moonlight or maybe the adrenaline from thinking I was lost or hurt. If I kept my eyes closed and stayed still, the perfect memory of the night before, only a few hours ago, wouldn't be over yet and he wouldn't be able to regret what we did or tell me he can't do it again. So I didn't move.

Then I thought of Phil. I couldn't help it. How would my brother feel about Darren and me together? The fact that that was even a sentence––Darren and me together––blew my mind. I wanted to believe that Phil would have been happy for us, that after he left we were able to find some kind of happiness. And he was, in some part, responsible. But there was also a part of me that reverted back to my teen years, rewound the memories and looked at them from his point of view. How would he have felt knowing his brother and his best friend––all of the important people in his life––were gay? I wished I could have asked him.

Then I had another thought. What if it was only a one-night stand for Darren? He just wanted to see what it was like on the other side and now that he had a taste, he decided he'd rather be with women. Or, worse, what if he continued to sleep with men, but not me? I was going crazy, my mind traveling a million miles per minute. Then Darren kissed my shoulder and pushed into me from behind, his arm squeezing me tighter.

"You talk in your sleep," he said, more a raspy whisper than anything.

"No, I don't," I laughed, finally opening my eyes, all of my worries evaporated with one whisper. I contracted into him.

"You said my name," he said. He imitated my voice, sexy and sleepy. "Darren. Darren. Darren."

I flipped over to face him, still wrapped in his arm. "Liar!" He kissed me before I could even finish yelling at him. I draped my arm over his torso and then squeezed his cheeks. He didn't even stop kissing me to laugh.

Then there was a buzzing sound coming from his jeans as we kissed. Darren suddenly shot up from our spot on the floor and struggled to pull his phone out of the denim pocket. He stood up and answered, "Hello?" and then, "Hi, Linda." It was Noah's grandmother. He paced the nook back and forth completely naked. I watched as he apologized for not checking in last night or this morning. It sounded like everything was fine, she was just worried when she hadn't heard from him.

When he hung up and returned to me, ready for more morning kisses, I backed away. "Should we talk about this?" I asked. I couldn't stop running scenarios through my head––Darren leaving without saying a word, never being able to kiss him again. He laid on his side while I sat on my heels, looking down at him. "How this will affect Noah? Because if this is something you can't..."

He reached for my hand. "Let's save the analysis for later," Darren said. He pulled me back into him and I let him.

We collapsed in exhaustion after another round of exploration, thoroughly checking that there were no undiscovered surfaces on our bodies. The sun peeked above the trees in the backyard and the sky was finally blue after an early morning of pink and orange. We talked about the bar last night and the people and Sadie.

"We should call her," Darren said.

"Let her sleep in. She'll have a short commute this morning. Speaking of," I said, "I was thinking about the plans for the cottage." We both sat up. "Right now, you're keeping the second floor the same, generally, and adding another bathroom in this nook area. But! What if you took out this wall and added another one here and made this side of the floor a large master bedroom." I got up to prove my point. "You should keep the chandelier, of course, and make this entire back wall floor to ceiling windows. Look at that view! It should be a luxury master. That's what's going to sell this place." I spread my arms open wide to exaggerate my point, but Darren wasn't looking at my arms.

I tried to explain my ideas for the cottage construction, but Darren couldn't see it. He kept getting distracted, whistling at me and pulling me over to him on the floor. "Let me draw it," I said. "Do you have a pencil?" We both looked around, but there was nothing but debris and tools and other odds and ends that the previous owners had left behind. "Wait!" I said. I ran down to the closet under the stairs where I knew there was a can of paint and a brush.

"Be careful!" Darren called behind me.

When I returned upstairs, Darren was waiting for me under the chandelier where I had left him. I opened the can of paint, a deep shade of green like the forest surrounding us, and dipped the brush into it. I began to paint the cottage on the white wall in front of us, first the outline, and then the rooms as I imagined them. "This will be the new wall," I said, pointing to my creation, then the actual area in the room. "And then all of this section is windows."

"What about the first floor?"

I painted an identical outline in green next to the one drying on the right. Then I filled it in with rooms and doors and even shadows of furniture.

"I finally get to see the master artist at work!" Darren said. "What's this?"

"That's where Noah will sleep."

"And this?" Darren approached me at the wall and pointed at a spot I had just painted where the enclosed back patio used to be.

"That's where we make love every night under the stars."

"You can see yourself here? In Pennsylvania?"

"I can see myself here with you."

Darren scooped me up in his arms, the brush drenched in green paint squeezed between us and dripping down the front of our naked bodies. We kissed again and he pulled me to the floor. Just then, we heard the sound of an engine and tires on the dirt outside.

"Shit, the crew! What time is it?" Darren asked, pulling away. We fumbled for our clothes and our phones, laughing and bumping into each other as we struggled to get dressed. I covered the paint can with the lid and left the brush on top.

By the time we made it downstairs to the front door, dressed and wet with paint under our clothing, the first two trucks were already parked on the lawn and their doors hung open, steam rising from morning coffees. Darren waved to the crew and approached them while I made my way to the passenger seat of Darren's truck. I could tell they were surprised to see him there so early by the way they looked at each other.

After a few minutes of chitchat, Darren met me at his truck and tried to keep a straight face as I teased him. He put the keys in the ignition, but the car wouldn't start. "Crap!" he said. "I left the headlights on all night. The battery is dead." So we had to ask one of the guys on the crew to give us a jump.

We were finally on our way back to Windber by nine o'clock. There was some traffic on the state road, but the sky was blue and the sun was warm. We rolled down the windows to weaken the scent of the drying paint and I watched the trees pass us by. I was excited to see Noah, to hug him, and tell him how much I loved and missed him. It felt like days since I had seen him. We didn't discuss what we would tell Noah about us or what living together would look like now that we were sleeping together and I didn't want to bring it up. I just wanted to enjoy the best day of my life and one more hour alone on the drive, watching a little bird follow us for a couple of miles. At some point, Darren reached across the seat without looking away from the road and squeezed my hand in his like it was the most normal thing in the world. He didn't let go until we got home. 

Author's Note: Thanks for reading! <3

How do you think Noah will handle his two favorite uncles getting together?