The car ride was silent, Bee drove while I sat in the passenger seat. My eyes glued to the sandy terrain, nothing but dirt, trees and nothing else in sight.

We haven't said much since the incident with Julie and that was the only thing that was on my mind.

I pursed my lips into a tight thin line, forcing myself not to make a sound as the tears kept forming and rolling down my cheeks.

What is going on with me? Why am I so upset right now?

The little time I had with that little girl in the park ignited something in me. Seeing Julie and her mom hug, the way she excitedly talked her mom's ear off about her little adventure in the woods...seeing all the little families enjoying their time together...as a family..

What if things have been different for Bee and I?

The thought made butterflies form at the pit of my stomach. It made my heart race. The thought of even coming close to a remotely normal life made me wonder yet terrified me.

Where would I be right now if I had never met Bee and the rest of the Autobots?

"What's going on, baby? You haven't said a word since we left."

My head racing with every different possibility of what my life could or could've been.

Would I be married right now? Having a family of my own? Would I be living in a nice house, with the garden of my dreams? With my favorite flowers; roses in full bloom?

If I hadn't met Bee...would I still have gotten a boyfriend? Maybe even married him and had a family with him?

What if Bee wasn't an alien robot...and was a human like me? Would he still be dating me? What if we actually could have a family? Have a normal life together? Would that even be a possibility human Bee or not?

What if he had found someone else? Maybe another Autobot...would he be happier? Maybe be able to have a better life with...a proper future with endless possibilities since he'd be with his own kind?

What if he's only with me because of guilt? What if...what if I was the only option for him?

What if-

"Lisa?"

Bee's hand now rest on my thigh, finally snapping me out of the deep and dark abyss that I was currently drowning in. I could feel it surrounding me, my body felt cold and stiff.

"Baby what's wrong?"

My chest tightened, my heart beating rapidly to the point where I thought it was going to burst from my chest. My breathing became shallow and I swear I was going to pass out from the shortness of oxygen my body was barely intaking.

"It's nothing." I barely managed to say in between short breaths. "What do you mean nothing? What's going on? Is it about Julie?"

All I could do was nod.

Bee's other hand that was gripping the steering wheel tightened; his knuckles going white.

"Is she in danger? Did you pick up on anything earlier?"

"No..." I replied before bursting into tears. I couldn't stop myself anymore. I became undone as the sobs escaped me.

"I want what they have." I said in between sobs as my wails became louder and my body trembled.

"What?"

"I want what everyone else has! I want a life where we're not constantly in danger. A life where we don't have to constantly look over our shoulders and live in fear."

Everything felt like it was moving all to fast, that the entire world was spinning and spinning. I felt sick to my stomach, to the point where I wanted to throw up, curl up into a ball and sink into the darkness that I was drowning in.

"Lisa..."

"I wish things were different..."

His jaw clenched as he swallowed hard. "Different how baby?"

"I just wish we weren't in this situation...I wish...I wish we could have a normal life..."

There was silence that hung between us. "Do...do you wish you hadn't met me?" His voice was shaky...what made it worse was how he was trying to stop himself from sounding the way that he did. His jaw was clenched as his eyes remained glued to the road.

"No..no baby...Bee...I wouldn't change it for the world. You have been the best thing that has ever happened to me..." I began as the tears continued to stream down my face.

"Sometimes I just wonder what life could be like...us just living without fear. I wonder what it could be like having a family with you...but we're just so different...and I-"

I stop myself for a moment, feeling my chest ache, my heart throbbing. "I wonder if maybe you'd be better off dating your own kind. Being with another Autobot who could give you all the things I can't. So you wouldn't have to worry about me.. so you wouldn't be stuck here with me...so you could actually have a chance at a better life."

I take in a deep breath, trying to stop myself from bursting into tears, as I could see the tears forming in his eyes. "You know if I could give you a normal life...a life where you didn't have to worry, a life where you weren't on the run and in danger all the time I would." He said in between unsteady breaths.

"There are days especially now where I wish I was just human. Human like you. So I could take you out on nice dates, do all the things a normal human guy could do for his girlfriend. The fact that I can't give that to you...the fact that you're in this situation because of me...kills me..."

I stare at him speechless. "You have no idea how much I wish things could've been different...different for us." He said as the tears spill from his eyes and roll down his cheeks.

I hadn't even realized that Bee had pulled over to the side of the road and as soon as he did he burst into tears.

"I wish I could give you all of the things that you deserve. You deserve to be happy. You deserve to live a life with no fear. To be safe, to be surrounded by everyone who loves you.. I wish you didn't have to live the way you live now...and if I knew all of this I wouldn't have-"

"Bee..."

He burried his face into the palms of his shaking hands. "I saw how you were with that little girl. Seeing you smile...truly smile and fucking laugh...I haven't heard that laughter in so long.." he said with a faint yet humorous laugh.

"Seeing you with her...God...you looked so happy...and I wish I could give you that. The thought of having that life with you. Have a family...growing old with you...that's all I could ever want with you Lisa..and the fact I can't give that to you kills me.."

"Bee.."

"You deserve to be with someone who can give that.. to give you all it... I want to be the one who does, but fuck. It kills me, it hurts me, knowing that I can't be the one to do it."

"Bumblebee!"

He turns to look at me as I burst into tears. "I don't want to be with anyone else. I only want you." I reached out, cupping his face. "You are the best thing that ever could've happened to me, as much as I wish things could've been different...I'm thankful and so fucking grateful that I have you in my life."

"Lisa..."

"I wish...I wish we could have the things everyone else has...and I know that its not a possibility that we can...I'm just glad I have you by my side because I don't know where I'd be right now if I didn't have you."

Before I know it I'm on his lap, his arms wrapped around my waist, holding me tightly as I fall apart in his arms.

"I love you so much Bee...I love you and nothing will ever change that. I only want to go through life with you. Only with you. I don't care what our chances are with literally anything at all...you are who I want to go through it all with."

He burried his face against my neck, "you have no idea...of how much you've changed my life." I felt his lips brush against my skin.

"I know you humans have a saying called "soulmates" and while that isn't a term my kind uses... I do believe you were made for me...that somehow we were bound to be together." He looks up at me, a hand caressing my face.

"Even if there was an Autobot out there for me...I wouldn't even bother. You are my everything. The only reason why I'm still here. Still fighting to stay alive. I love you...I love you so much, Lisa."

His lips meet mine and instantly I feel that buzzing feeling ignite in my body. I could feel his body trembling against mine.

When we pulled away I couldn't help but break into another sob, we were both a sobbing mess as we held each other while we both fell apart.  

It was just Bee and I.

There was no hope that any other Autobot was alive.

We just had each other.

No one else could love me the way the Bee does, and even if there was...I wouldn't even take a second to think about it.

Maybe life could've been different...maybe I would still be at home, living with my parents...maybe I'd be married and having a family of my own.

But if it isn't with Bee...then I don't want it.

My future...my life...is with him.

Its just me and him.

Forever and always.

And I wouldn't change it for anything.

･*:.｡..｡.:*☆★☆*:.｡. .｡.:*･

Did I cry while writing this? Yes. Yes I did.
Multiple times you might ask?
Yes. Yes I did.
ANYWAYS!
I'm terribly sorry for being M.I.A. 2024 has not been kind to me..and what inspired me to write this was cuz I was already sad. LOL.
I do hope that you all enjoyed the new chapter! I promise updates will be faster now since all the upcoming chapters are done..
They've just been sitting in my drafts already ready to go.
These few chapters that I had posted were a new addition to the story.
Instead of jumping into it right away I wanted to take the time to write some chapters involving Lisa and Bee's journey after the Chicago War.
So I hope you all enjoyed them and are ready for more!
Thank you all for the never ending support! I greatly appreciate it! I means everything to me and inspires me to continue writing!
See you all in the next chapter!
Love you all!!
⚠️
⚠️!!P.S!!⚠️
I MIGHT COME BACK TO EDIT THIS CHAPTER!
Idk yet. I like it but I might want to add more! No idea yet so I guess keep an eye out for an update on this chapter if yall want more angst cause I feel like I can make it hurt more MWAHAHA!!