a/n: sorry for the two week wait, my loves! i hope you like this chapter and don't think it's shitty lol, because i do. this story is almost finished, just a couple more chapters and an epilogue i think. 

dedicated to Isaycrapsometimes (i do too) for the lovely comments she consecutively left on most of the other chapters lol

Chapter 37: "Stop being such a little bitch."

I had been doing so well.

Jayden stared at me from his position on the floor, his mouth agape. The chair I had thrown at him lay on its side to his right, one of its legs completely broken off.

"Miss Wolfe, you have not been in this school for very long, but I simply cannot excuse this kind of behaviour," my Calculus teacher scolded, frowning deeply at me. "Especially since this is the second time this has happened."

Jayden seemed to swallow his astonishment enough to smirk at me. I clenched my jaw, shoving down my anger at his stupid cockiness. Did he forget the reason he was on the ground and my chair was in pieces?

"Ms. Buchanan, as I previously mentioned, I was using self defence," I said politely, ignoring the way the rest of the class stared at me.

"What is her problem?" someone muttered. I ignored the whisperings. God knew I needed to keep my temper under control, but I kept forgetting that this school did not know just how vicious I could be. Luke was the one who was able to calm me down during times like, but he wasn't here, and that was why Jayden would probably go home today with a couple of nasty bruises. And not for the first time.

"Self defence? Against what?" she asked, thoroughly exasperated.

I pointed at Jayden. "Sexual harassment."

"For fuck's sake, Jordan, I was just teasing," Jayden said, gingerly standing up.

"Language!"

"What?" he exclaimed. "She threw a chair at me, and you're coming after me for saying fuck?"

Ms. Buchanan glared at him. "That may be so, but at least she can show me a little respect." I had to bite back an amused smile at his outraged expression.

"She threw a chair at me! Do you remember that? Because it just happened!" He waved his arms around erratically. "Ms. Buchanan!" he whined.

"Miss Wolfe has a point," she said. "Sexual harassment is serious, but since physical violence also is, I will settle for detention for both of you. Not today, I have a meeting today. But tomorrow, immediately after school. One hour. Sound fair?"

I shrugged. It did sound fair, and I had expected to get more than that, but Jayden kept spluttering like an idiot. I rolled my eyes and sat down in an absent kid's chair since mine was now in pieces. "Thank you, ma'am," I said, clasping my hands around my knee and turning my attention back to the whiteboard, effectively ending this whole debacle.

"I'm gonna kill you," Jayden said, brushing off his jeans and settling back in his seat.

I ignored him as he continued muttering grievances under his breath, threats against me and promises that I would regret it. He was an idiot, so I wasn't too worried. He'd get over it soon enough, like he always did.

It had been over two months of learning his character, and I knew he wasn't really mad at me. I wouldn't say we were friends per se, but I ate lunch with him and the other guys, and sometimes we all got coffee. "Chill out," I finally had to whisper. "Stop being such a little bitch." He just glared at me and huffed like a child. It reminded me a little bit of Luke when I had to end calls with him earlier than expected.

After class, instead of walking beside me, Jayden followed behind me like a petulant child, his feet dragging obnoxiously against the linoleum floor.

Amit and Michael were sitting at their regular table. Michael glanced up from eating his sandwich when we entered the cafeteria. He looked from me to Jayden, who was standing a foot away. I shrugged and sat down. "What did you do?" he asked Jayden.

"Why do you think it was me who did something?" he screeched.

Daniel arrived then, and I turned around to see him clapping Jayden on the shoulder, causing Jayden to pitch forward. "It's usually you," he said impassively.

"Do none of the rest of you care that she's leaving in three days?" Jayden snapped.

I clenched my fist around my apple, breathing deeply. "If your knickers are so twisted over me leaving, why the fuck did you ask me out then?" I asked. "Firstly, you know I'm dating Luke. You've even talked to him on Skype! Secondly, why the fuck did you ask me out?"

He finally sat down across from me, slumping. The glum look on his face didn't soften me, because I was too annoyed. It was a dick thing to do, asking me out when he knew I had a boyfriend. I had been ignoring his flirting because obviously it wasn't going anywhere. But to ask me out? That pissed me off. Particularly since I knew he did the same thing with other girls who had boyfriends. I bet he thought I'd be easier or something, since my boyfriend wasn't here. Fucking cunt.

Amit snorted out a laugh. "Idiot."

"I-I just...I'm sorry! I thought I'd give it one last go before you left. Is that such a crime?"

I raised my eyebrows. "What did you expect would happen?"

"I didn't expect anything. I especially didn't expect for you to throw your fucking chair at me!"

At that, Amit and Michael burst into laughter, while Daniel scoffed. "Again?" Daniel asked. I shrugged and looked away.

I liked these guys enough, but I knew we weren't going to keep in contact after I moved back to California. Maybe we could try, but we didn't have that strong of a bond like I had with Luke. Plus, I wasn't coming back here, except maybe to visit Seth and Marie. I was already accepted at UCLA, so what was the point anyways? It wasn't heartless, I just...I didn't try and connect because I knew this was temporary. I didn't want to make it harder for me than it already was.

They knew that, too. Daniel, Michael, Amit. They knew. They didn't try with me either. I had no idea why Jayden was being difficult.

I tried to ignore the way Jayden was piercing me with his gaze. I tried to focus on my lunch, but I felt my neck prickle. I was so uncomfortable, and I think he knew that, which was why he was trying to wear me down that way.

Finally, I had had enough, and I slammed my hand against the table. The people sitting on the other end glared at me but I paid them no mind. "What is your problem?" I snapped. "What the fuck is your problem?"

"You're just going to pretend like we never existed?" he snapped right back. "You're just gonna go home and forget all about us, go back to your precious boyfriend and we'll never hear from you again? Is that it?"

I gaped at him, taken aback. Daniel snorted beside me. "It's not a big deal, Jayden," he said.

Jayden glared at him. "You guys are the problem, too!"

"Jayden, for fuck's sake," I said, exasperated. I hadn't known him for very long, so why was he acting like I was abandoning a longstanding friendship? "We're not that close, you're not going to die without me."

I didn't like the hurt expression in his eyes, but I was telling the truth. I liked them, I did, but I was leaving on Saturday! Who fucking gave a shit? "You don't understand," Jayden said. He stood up and walked away after that.

I stared at his retreating back with wide eyes and an open mouth. "What is his problem?" I asked, looking at Michael, then Amit, then Daniel.

Michael looked just as shocked as me, and poor Amit was shuddering slightly. Daniel, the stupid git, didn't look at all fazed and just kept eating. Classic. "I have no idea," Michael said, shaking his head. "I have no idea what's gotten into him."

I frowned. So was Jayden just off, then? That was the last I'd see of him?

And he was going off about abandonment.

***

"And he just fucking stormed out of there!" I explained to Luke on the phone, shaking my hair out of its braid. "I have no idea what I did."

"Well, you did throw a chair at the guy," Luke said mildly.

I rolled my eyes. "No, Luke, that's not it. He was going off about me leaving and completely forgetting them." I sighed and fell back on the sofa. "I'm not being a complete horrible bitch, right? It's not irrational to realise we're probably going to lose contact, since it's only been about three months?"

"Nah, you're not being a bitch. He's probably just feeling a bit hurt, is all. Three months is a pretty decent amount of time to get to know somebody."

I rubbed the tiredness out of my eyes. His words didn't really make me feel better, but it made sense. "Yeah, I guess you're right."

"Oh, I know, beautiful. I always am," he boasted, and I could practically hear him puffing out his chest.

I smiled, wishing I could fast forward to Saturday, when I would finally see his face in person again. God, I missed him so much. "Three more days," I whispered.

Seth and Marie and the babies would come back to California and stay with me for a couple of months. Seth said he was going to help me sell our house so that I could rent an apartment before going off to uni. He wasn't happy that I was leaving, but that was his fault for moving to New York and leaving me in the first place. New York was his home now, but California was still mine.

I heard Luke sigh in contentment on the other end. "Three more days," he repeated. "I miss your ugly face."

I laughed. "Miss you too, leech," I said. Just then the doorbell rang, so I stood up to go answer it. "One sec, babe."

When I opened the door, I stepped back in surprise. Jayden stood there, hands shoved in his pockets, a sheepish expression on his face. "Hey," he said.

"How did you know where I live?" was the first thing out of my mouth. I'd been very careful not to disclose that information to the boys, especially him. I was horrified, to say the least.

"Broke into the school records," he said lightly, a ghost of a smile on his face.

I raised my eyebrows, not at all amused. "I'm almost positive that not only is that an invasion of privacy, but it's also illegal."

"May I come in?" he asked, completely ignoring everything I just said.

I stared at him for a second, and I saw him nervously gnawing on his lip, already expecting me to refuse. I stepped out of his way, unsure what I was doing. "What do you need?"

"I just had to come and explain what happened at school."

"You couldn't have waited until tomorrow?"

"No, I couldn't, Jordan, I just have to say it, okay? It's fucking eating me up inside, and I know you have a boyfriend, and I'm sorry for doing this to you and to him, but I don't know what else to do, because I'm going fucking insane."

I blinked slowly, not knowing what to say. He looked kind of crazy, with his heavy breathing and his intense gaze and his clenched fists. It was freaking me out, to be honest. "W-what?"

"I love you, okay? I love you, and you probably don't believe me since it hasn't even been that long, but I've never felt this way before, for any girl, and...and...and why aren't you saying anything?"

I ran my tongue over my teeth, my eyebrows furrowed with this new information he'd just dumped on me. "What did you expect from saying this?" I asked, like I did back at school. Why did he have to do these things? He knew it wouldn't end well. "That I would leave my boyfriend whom I love for you?"

He looked away and ran his hand almost violently through his hair. "No," he said roughly. "I didn't."

"Then what?"

"I just had to say it. I just had to get it off my chest." His eyes moved shiftily over my brother's apartment, deliberately avoiding my gaze.

My eyes narrowed and I slowly walked towards him, pointing my finger at him. "You had to get it off your chest?" I repeated. "Why do I feel like that's complete and total bullshit?"

He scowled at me and pushed away my hand that was poking him in the chest accusingly. "It's not bullshit," he said. "I can't believe you're calling my feelings bullshit!"

"Because it is bullshit," I said scathingly. "I'm not an idiot. I've noticed things these past couple months, Jayden. You won't give the time of day to any girl who's single, but as soon as you find out she has a boyfriend-"

"I didn't come here to be accused of things that aren't true!" he shouted. "I'm just trying to say I love you, why do you have to throw it back in my face like that? What kind of person does that?"

Just for a moment I thought, perhaps, that I was wrong in my judgment of him. Just for a moment I felt sorry. But then I saw a shadow of a conceited smirk on his face, and realised I shouldn't doubt my gut feelings, because I knew this type of personality. I knew how these people worked. I especially knew how dirty slimeball boys worked, since I used to date one - Ryan. "Get the fuck out," I said, pointing at the door. When he didn't move, I stomped my foot childishly. "I can't believe I thought you were actually my friend. Get out!"

"Fine," he snarled, striding outside and slamming the door shut so hard the lightbulb above my head shook.

I spent the next couple of minutes breathing in and out deeply to try and calm myself down the old fashioned way. I almost screamed in rage when I felt hot tears rolling down my cheeks and realised that that piece of shit made me cry.

"Jordan? Jordy, beautiful, are you still there?" Luke's voice came from my phone. I hadn't realised I still had it clenched in my grasp, my knuckles white from the tight grip.

I breathed deeply one more time and brought the phone back to my ear. I could feel a headache coming in, and I furiously wiped those stupid, useless tears off my face. "Luke, I'm here," I said, glad that my voice didn't wobble.

"Beautiful," he said, and I could hear unadulterated the rage in his voice, even through the static-y connection of our phones. I closed my eyes. "Are you okay? Did that bastard touch you, because I swear-"

"He didn't touch me," I interrupted. I rolled my eyes at the thought of Jayden even laying a finger on me. "Remember, I threw a chair at him, Luke, twice. Don't think he'll be forgetting those bruises anytime soon."

Luke growled. "Are you okay?" he asked again.

I thought about it for a second. "I guess," I said, even though that was a lie.

Of course he caught on. "Jordan."

"No," I amended. I felt hurt. Kind of betrayed. "I thought we were friends, but he was just being a total conniving dick the whole time."

"You don't think he meant it, do you?" he asked in a small voice.

"I never did anything to make him believe there would be a chance," I said instead, making sure he understood that. I couldn't have him thinking I'd actually done something with that dickass. "I just...I'm tired, Luke. Why can't anyone give me peace of mind? Why does this kind of crap keep happening to me?"

"I'm sorry, beautiful," he said softly. "You don't deserve any of this."

I flopped back onto the sofa, suddenly incredibly fatigued. Thank God I was here alone, otherwise I'd have more questions and more things to deal with. "I love you," I said. Luke was one of the only ones who helped me up after I crashed and burnt. I didn't know how to convey how grateful I was. He even stayed on the line during Jayden's confession instead of expecting the worst from me and hanging up.

"I love you, too," he responded, trying to say it cheerily to help cheer me up. "You know I'm here for you, babe."

I loved Luke, I really did love him with my whole heart, but I wished my mum was here to talk to me about this. We hadn't spent tonnes of time together throughout the years, but whenever boys treated me badly, she was always there to talk to me about it.

Admittedly, half of it was her attempting to convince me to date Luke, but she still could cheer me up regardless. It was a weird mother thing that I craved, and I didn't know what to do or what to say to fill that craving. I really couldn't do or say anything, though, because she wasn't here. She was gone and she was never coming back.

I breathed deeply. Fuck, I didn't need this right now. I pinched the bridge of my nose and tried to bring myself back to the present. Luke, Seth, Marie, Randy, Leo, Rita, Brandon. They were all here for me now. I should focus on them. "Luke," I said, sighing. I needed to hear his voice again after that painful internal monologue.

I heard something crashing on Luke's end, but I didn't bother questioning him. Hopefully the clutzy manner being angry made him hadn't caused him to break one of his mum's precious vases. "I can't believe he said he loves you," Luke exclaimed. His breathing was heavy, and I could tell he was pissed off. I closed my eyes and took in his deep voice, the kind that comforted me even when he wanted to kill something. "Fuck, only I can say that!"

I laughed, as well as I could. "Maybe not only you, idiot. Seth, your mum-"

"You know what I mean! Jordan, want me to fly over and beat his ass? Because I will. Just say the word and I'm there." It wasn't the kind of comforting Mum would give me, but it made me feel better nonetheless.

"No," I said. "I don't care. I'll be home in three days, anyways." I was unbelievably excited to go back, there was no doubt about that. I couldn't wait to see Luke, and Randy, and Leo. I couldn't wait to go back to my house and check my old tree and see the rest of the Tarrones.

But I still felt a pang in my chest as I thought of Michael, Amit, and Daniel. And fuck, even Jayden, that stupid prick.

I knew making a connection with people here was a bad idea.

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hey, i'm shitty with writing emotions, so i'm sorry about that. lemme know if you think jordan's reaction to jayden was a bit over the line, though, because i can't decide.