Chapter 19: "You do say a lot of stupid shit, don't you?"

I've been trying really hard to not hate Dad, but lately, he's not been giving me much leverage in that endeavour.

He's never acted like a father to me. We've never been to any father-daughter dances, never had a day to ourselves, never even hung out before. I can barely have a conversation with him and I highly doubt that he even knows my middle name.

And now he does this disappearing act on us. When Mum needs him the most, he decides to run away on a "business trip" with his tail between his bloody legs. I couldn't believe that was the man my mum had fallen for.

He was being a complete and utter twat, and that's saying something considering his normal behaviour.

"Mum, it's alright, he'll be back soon," I tried to soothe her again the next morning.

She was curled up on the couch with her favourite pregnancy food: ice-cream with sriracha sauce. Don't even ask me how she discovered that. Plus, I wasn't even sure why she was eating it because I don't think she's allowed spicy food in her second trimester.

But she used the hot sauce as an excuse for her teary eyes when I know that it's really about Dad.

She looks at me, blinking rapidly, her growing belly resting uncomfortably on her knees as she curled into a weirdly shaped ball. "He wasn't there for your birth, darling. What if I never see him again? What if he's just left me?"

I clenched my jaw and looked away from her heartbroken face. I hated when my mum was like this. She was such a strong woman, but to have all this shite thrown at her? I could easily see her caving under all the stress. "If he doesn't come by the time your water breaks, then I don't know why you're upset. At least you know he's an ass now instead of having hope."

"Jordan! That is your father you're talking about!" she scolded.

I refused to look at what I expected to be a reproachful look, because I might apologise for something I completely meant. "Fathers can be asses too, Mum. They're not God," I responded stiffly.

"But don't call him that! You should know better, Jordan."

My expression cooled at her words, appearing as it did whenever I was murderously angry. But not at Mum, just at her words, the way she was defending him when he'd hurt her in the worst way possible. "And he should know better than to leave you alone with only a teenage girl to take care of you."

She knew how I got when I was cross, and to say I was cross now was an understatement. She could tell, because she even let go of her bowl of disgusting ice-cream in favour of rubbing my shoulder. "Oh darling," she said mournfully. "Can't you see it from his point of view? He's losing his wife and has to take care of a baby at his age, don't you see?"

"If he was supportive instead of being such a fucking git, I'd gladly walk in his shoes. But I'm losing my mum, he's not the only person who gets to be upset! Why do I have to be the strong one? Isn't that the parents' job?"

"Jordan-"

"I'm going to school, I'm almost late," I interrupted swiftly. Before she could call me back and scold me for my vulgarity, I grabbed my bag and rushed out the door.

When I noticed the driveway was empty and my keys weren't in my backpack, I cursed out loud. Of course the fucker had taken my car instead of his own. Goddammit. Just when I finally get my license, this has to happen. Brilliant.

I took a deep breath and was about to start the walk when a familiar truck drove up beside me.

"Need a ride, beautiful?" Luke chirped happily from the inside.

"Why are you here?" I asked drearily, feeling exhausted even though it was only seven in the morning. I wasn't ready to deal with his obnoxiousness so early in the morning.

"I figured you'd need a ride since your dad took your car," he replied slowly, his tone darkening slightly at the mention of my dad.

I sighed a little and forced a small smile onto my face. "Thanks, mate," I said gratefully, sliding in beside him.

His cheerfulness softened when he saw how stiff I was being and he reached out to pat my fisted hands. "Are you okay, beautiful?"

I nodded my head, choosing not to speak, because if I did, I might snap. His right hand pressed my tightly clenched fists and before I knew it, he'd untangled them enough to thread our hands together. "What are you doing?" I asked. The butterflies in my stomach rolled a little when he ran his fingers over my knuckles, but I was still too cross about my dad to be rendered useless from his touch.

"I read somewhere that holding hands and hugging reduces stress, but since the hugging might kill us at the moment..."

"Why can't I just hold my own hand?" I interrupted. Then, at least I could hold onto the last shred of my sanity.

"Because if I let you do that, you might just snap off all your fingers," he responded matter-of-factly.

I wrinkled my nose at the image he put in my mind. "Oh stop exaggerating," I scoffed.

"I'm not! Better just to snap off my fingers, right?" He grinned widely and winked at me.

I just shake my head, the forced smile slowly becoming a real one. How did he do that? Make me feel so happy when I was just about ready to scream? "That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard you say."

"Aw Jordy, you don't mean that!"

I paused and rethought my statement. "You're right, you do say a lot of stupid shit, don't you?"

He chuckled and rolled his eyes. "My god, why are you so mean to me? Don't you know that you're supposed to be kind to attractive people?"

"Exactly why I'm not nice to you," I quipped with a wiggle of my eyebrows.

Luke tipped his head back and groaned. "I just set myself up for that one, didn't I?"

I laughed softly, causing him to beam in triumph. "It's okay, Luke, I'm pretty sure there's some poor schmuck out there who likes looking at ugly toads."

"You shouldn't call yourself names, beautiful. I don't think you're much of a schmuck."

I narrowed my eyes at his teasing expression. "I'm actually impressed," I told him with a small grin. "I just set myself up for that one, didn't I?"

"You didn't deny it, homey!" he sang out.

"Did you just call me your homey?" I avoided answering him.

"Still not denying it!"

"Oh stuff it, you toad."

"But I'm your toad, right? Just like you're my schmuck."

"I'm not your fucking schmuck, okay? Do you even know what that is?"

He paused and cocked his head to the side. "...No. Let me look it up."

I crossed my arms. "Not while driving, you toad."

Luke slammed his hands against the steering wheel and let out a triumphant laugh. I narrowed my eyes in annoyance, waiting for him to stop. "You called me a toad!"

I raised an eyebrow and grimaced. "Is that supposed to be a good thing?"

He grinned widely. "It means that you're the poor schmuck who likes looking at ugly toads."

"Stop screwing with my words, Luke! I did not saying anything close to that!" I argued.

"But you didn't not say it."

A pause. "What?"

"That's what I thought."

His triumphant expression was irking me. Like he knew something that I didn't. "Wait, what are you talking about?"

He patted the hand that was still in his tight grip. I had been so engrossed in our conversation that I hadn't even noticed that he'd been rubbing soothing circles into my hand. And not only that, but all thoughts of my parents' problems had flown from my head. "Don't worry about it, beautiful."

By now, though, I was horribly confused. "Don't worry about what?"

He gave me a cheeky smile and just kept driving. I was staring at him, taking in his strong features and twinkling hazel eyes, at how he seemed to light up whenever he was teasing me. How I seemed to light up whenever he spoke. "Hey, Jordy, are you going to the musical auditions after school?"

I sighed at his sudden change in topic, but replied anyway. "No, why would I?"

"Eh, maybe because you're like the best soprano in school?"

"That's not true, plus I'm way too busy to add learning a bunch of lines to my workload."

"Oh, come on, poppet! Please? At least come and watch me."

"Why are you auditioning?" I asked curiously. "You haven't ever before."

"And neither have you."

"So?" I scowled at his slowly widening pout. "No way, that is not fair! You can't just force me to try out!"

"Nobody's forcing you, beautiful," he breathed, bringing my hand up to his mouth.

"What are you doing?" I cried, trying to pull myself from his grasp. He didn't turn to look at me, just smirked.

"I'm not forcing you to do anything, okay?" he said slowly, pressing his smirking mouth to my knuckles. "But I really want you to try out with me." Another kiss, but this time on the inside of my wrist.

"I don't want to," I ground out, pulling harder, but he wasn't letting go. His eyes widened innocently, and my heart started fluttering at the sight.

"Please?" he whispered, his breath tickling my palm.

Why did I let him push me around so much? "Fine!" I growled, finally able to yank my hand away from his. "I'll do the sodding audition, but that doesn't mean I'll try or enjoy it!"

"That's good enough for me!" he sang, pulling into the school parking lot.

I was pretty sure that my face was thunderous at that moment, because when Luke joined me outside the truck, he let out a hearty chuckle. "Which musical is it anyway?" I asked sullenly.

"Beauty and the Beast."

I tipped my head back and groaned. "Are you serious?"

"What's wrong with that? I thought you like Beauty and the Beast?"

"I do."

"Then what's the problem?"

I just shook my head. I wasn't sold on the whole musical idea. Acting wasn't my thing. I just wanted to have the extra time to spend with Mum. Why did Luke have to have those special persuasion powers? I was still mad at him for that, so when he tried to thread his fingers through mine, I almost smacked him.

"Smile a wee bit, okay, beautiful? People are watching."

I glanced up at his grinning face, at how amused he was at my irritation. I should've been angrier and given him the silent treatment, but with the feeling of his skin touching mine and a breathtaking smile on his face, I just couldn't. "Okay, my ugly toad."

__________________


I'm so so so so so so sorry for the long wait! Really, truly sorry! I've been so busy but that's really no excuse, so I hope you'll just forgive me