"Steven, TokTok wants to know if you're gay."

Steven sighed. "Really?" Alex nodded. "Exclusively?"

"Yep." Alex's smirk was so smug Steven had an urge to pin him against a wall. He wouldn't be so damn full of himself if his lips found his neck. Which, the hybrid supposed, was a rather gay thought.

"Then let's make a TokTok about it. I'll take it on my phone."

Steven was, for all intents and purposes, "conventionally attractive" but in a pretty kind of way. He had his moments of handsomeness according to his friends, but he'd much rather be a pretty boy.

"Connie, do I read as gay?" He asked as she walked into the kitchen.

Her movement slowed to a stop. Wide eyes met his and her lips curled in before answering, "Why?"

He shrugged and leaned against the wall. "Just curious. If you had no idea who I was, would you read me as gay?"

Connie pressed her lips together, barely containing a smile. She walked up to him, unintentionally pining him against the wall herself as she pressed a hand lightly to his chest. "I try not to look at people and guess anything. But."

"But?"

"But if I saw you at a bar, I wouldn't hit on you." The grin burst through, she couldn't resist the hilarity of it all.

Steven on the other hand pressed a hand over hers to keep her close as his lip poked out sadly. "What!? Why?"

Connie rested her head against his chest and chortled. "Because I would think you were gay."

"But why? There has to be a reason."

"Typically," Alex interrupted, "Gay men are the most gorgeous men. People assume you're gay if you do any of the following."

Steven nodded for his continuation.

"Do you dress nice?" Alex looked over his outfit and huffed. "Never mind, that outfit is so killer on you it has a body count. Okay, are you hot?"

His chest puffed out as he ran his hands through his hair. "Physically or easy on the eyes? Because..." He leaned over the island and let his voice naturally deepen. "Yes."

"You're gonna need to get knocked down a few pegs, baby boy," Hazel teased as he entered for a beer.

Connie turned away, her nose wrinkled with distaste for her automatic response. "Thought we made a deal not to do that thing with your voice?"

Steven tossed her side eye and smirked as Alex continued.

"Last question, have you ever slept with a man, kissed one, or thought about kissing one?" Alex already knew one of many answers was standing in the kitchen and tried to choke back his laughter.

Hazel quirked a brow and pointed between the two of them. "Whoa, what's this about?"

"Steven wants to know if he reads as gay." Connie pressed a kiss to his sternum, then was pulled in for a deeper kiss.

"I have a girl I'm insanely in love with. I just don't get it," He chuckled.

"Steven?" Jasmin asked, poking her head out of the door joining her house and the commons. "Gay? No way. Not like he's pounded the ass of mine more times than I can count."

Hazel snorted. "What, so like, three?"

"Don't forget what I did to you, smart ass." She outstretched her hand. "Now throw me that beer or I'll do it again."

Eyes turned to an almost haunted looking Hazel. "She's crazy as Connie, but in a completely different style. Our girls are wack, yo." He walked it to her instead and she patted his chest.

"Good boy. Go on, git."

"Steven, you've got your thinking face on." Connie reached up to turn his head to hers. "Whatcha thinking, baby?"

"I feel like such a bitch when you call me that," He groused as his cheeks turned red. "Never stop."

"Steven."

"Right. I have an idea, but it'll just happen naturally anyways so there's no need to plan."

*

Steven was correct, very correct.

The couch in the downstairs living room could easily be pulled out into a bed, a very massive bed fit for eight snugglers.

For Steven, it was perfect. They snuggled in the way they were accustomed to, with him as the base, his Connie on his right side and everyone else all cuddled up to the gleeful heater.

This was peak excellence in his mind. He was literally surrounded by the people he loved most in the world.

He was lucky enough to have a free arm, so he grabbed his phone from under his pillow and turned on the camera.

Now, Steven always jokingly bragged but the truth of the matter was he didn't think any more highly of himself as he did anyone else. There were still more days than not that he felt like he might hate himself.

Even still, this was worth bragging about, and killing three birds with one stone would be a reasonable use of his time even if he was being a cocky little fuck about it.

He raised his arm up to show his face, a huge happy grin and then slowly reaching out until the entire band could be seen using him as a giant body pillow.

The caption at the top read: "They'll still think I'm gay, won't they?"

He sent it to Alex, who excused himself to the bathroom. A cackle came from there, the echo startling a couple. Steven patted and scratched at their hair idly, forgetting what the movie was even about in favor of just enjoying himself being smothered with a hushed reciprocal love and adoration of each other.

The next day, his phone had been put on silent, presumably by the disgruntled woman groaning in her sleep and scooting closer to him. "D'jou find it, hun?"

"Mhm!" He kept it silent and grinned at the success shown by all the notifications amounting to more than 99 apparently.

Hundreds upon hundreds of comments were there; all either crowing with laughter or pointing out little subtleties he hadn't noticed.

'Have you guys ever noticed the way Jacob always takes Adam's left thigh to rest his cheek on? He's always under Connie, next to his Jazzy, clinging to Steven, but needs to be touching Adam too.'

'I have a million questions and none of them are more than incoherent screeching.'

'AHA will only spread out like that when the whole groups involved, but still holds hands anyways.'

'Went to the doctor after this and got diagnosed with diabetes. So sweet!'

'I'm so fucking jealous I'm seeing pink!'

'Here's the link to the video edit that made everyone think our trophy wife is gay'

He hummed curiously and glanced at Connie, quickly turning down the video and watching the first few seconds. It wasn't much, only around 20 seconds long. Every clip was him just being a background character and being thrilled at having them all, but blushing hard when he was teased. Any bashful habit like rubbing his neck, scrubbing his cheek or trying to pull off an indignant eye roll only to fiddle with his hair apparently meant he was gay. And to be fair, it was usually only in reaction to the other men in the band.

'Tibnaald headcanon: they do this all the time.'

A reply under that comment read, 'Counter headcannon: Steven's pan, not gay or bi.'

He grinned and clicked the comment to do another video. "Finally, someone gets it! Or at least close enough. I feel like I must have mentioned it a few hundred times, but yeah pan is a much better fit for me. I'd even go as far as to say omniamorous. I love everything and everyone, but I love my Connie more than anything in the entire galaxy."

"Cover your smoking hot body, you fan service slut," She mumbled, reaching for the camera blindly and turning into his chest.

His thumb slipped a little and the video froze as he turned to her. "I'll show you a slut."

At lunch Jacob watched through the video and nodded appreciatively, grinning a bit as it ended. "Some of these people are actually scary perceptive. Anna, they're loving the new star earrings."

Anna brushed her hair behind her ear to show them off better with a giddy smile. "I love them too! Classy and fun, like me!"

"Oh, Hazel," Adam called with a small chuckle. "They commented about your hand being under Stevens shirt. That'll look great as the edit it will eventually become."

Hazel choked on his waffle laughing and dropped his own phone. "Holy shit! Steven did you mean to do that?!"

"Do what?"

As they watched the video Steven grew confused, then mortified. His friends cackled as he dropped his head into his hands. "They'll be making voice edits of that for months. It'll haunt me everywhere I go."

Connie hummed, rosy cheeked and satisfied. "I sure wouldn't mind that playing on repeat for awhile."

"Keep it in your pants, Connie." Adam shook his head with a grin.

Stevens woman set down her cup delicately, a loving smile painted across her face as she walked over and bent down to whisper in his ear.

Adam started stone faced, but when she pulled away he was nearly crimson. "Anna, Jasmin, get your girlfriend before I decide to break her in half."

"He talks big shit until you start talking dirty right back to him," Anna told them, sipping from Connie's cup.

"You girls wanna have a slumber party tonight?" Jasmin asked abruptly.

"Do I get to come again too?" Alex perked up a little, which was cute, but he would go unsatisfied for this time.

Jasmin grinned. "Nope, I'm forcing you to spend time with your Sugar Daddies."

"Doll, don't you want that new Nansi jumpsuit?" Steven tipped his head and watched as Alex' eyes darted between the four men.

"You're bribing me?"

Jacob chuckled. "Of course not, you've got more than enough to buy it yourself."

"But he doesn't like to," Hazel reminded them coyly. "He'd rather be spoiled with it and dressed like a doll."

A series of offended sounds poured out of him and he turned to the girls. "Aren't you going to help me?!"

"We already know it's one of your days, quit the bullshit," Adam warned. "You can take the easy route, or even the one out. But a little birdy told me you've been slacking on being careful."

Alex's jaw nearly dropped to the floor. "Jasmin, you wretched snitch bitch whore."

"Come on ladies, let's leave the boys to play with their doll." Jasmin tossed him a really nasty smile and they sauntered off to Jasmin's house.

Jacob burst out laughing, quickly joined by the others. Alex turned on selfie mode of his camera and sighed. "If anyone sees this video...," The camera showed his best friends all approaching from behind him. "Send help. Also, Steven's pretty gay, yeah."