"The next person to call me an edgelord is going to be edged for however long I feel like." Adam was a just a teensy tiny bit moody today, but the fun kind. They couldn't help but fuck with him.

"Come on, you said you'd write us something edgy," Steven teased, resting his head on the table to give him puppy dog eyes. "Pretty please give me something to do. I'm driving myself nuts waiting for Connie to come home."

Hazel chuckled and ruffled his hair. "You're so fucking cute, dude."

Steven then turned his eyes to Hazel and turned up the cuteness. "Really?"

"Oh, don't pull that innocent little voice or I'm going to start fucking around with you anyways," Adam drawled, reaching out to brush his fingers over his cheek. Steven hummed and it was just too precious. "Fine. Give me a beer and an hour."

Steven made a whiny little noise that both irritated and absolutely made him fall head over heels. "Just do a rough draft since I already showed you the track."

Adam tried his hardest to glare at him, but between the baby fat the giant possessed and his big brown eyes, he could not say no. "Get me a pen and paper."

"Hell yeah!" He sat up and resumed his manliness, kicking his feet up onto the seat next to him since the girls weren't home to scold him. "Is this what being Anna is like? Just turning on my puppy dog eyes and getting what I want?"

"Oof, just walked yourself into a punishment for that one."

"Damn," He grumbled. The secret masochist tried not to smirk to himself. He technically got what he wanted anyways.

Hazel returned with a paper and pencil and Adam sighed, trying to think the cringiest bullshit he could that would fit into the track. He left to go sit and listen while he worked them out and the two snickered to themselves.

"What are you guys giggling about? Is Steven ready to take it in the ass again?" Jacob teased as he came home awhile later. "I can, uh, I can go grab the harness."

Steven scrunched up his face and made a sound between a scoff and a groan. "You guys are so cruel to me."

"That's not what you're saying when–,"

"Shut up!" He yelped. "Drop it or I'm pounding ass tonight!"

"Mhm," Hazel cooed, dragging a finger over his cheek. "I totally believe you."

"In Britain they call that 'tosh'. Americans call it a steaming load of bullshit." Jacob laughed and dropped a kiss to his cheek as he started to glow a little. "Where's Adam?"

"Making us lyrics so we can get our cringelord fest over." Hazel leaned in a bit closer. "He's uh, extra edgy lately. And very funishment happy."

Jacob nodded his understanding. "I always find it funny that you act like you're both hot shit until Adam comes around. Then you're all quiet." Hazel gave him a panicked look. "See, me? I avoid pissing him off, I'm just kinda great like that."

"Are you now?"

Jacob suddenly understood the panicked look. "Bollocks," He mumbled under his breath. "Hey, Adam! I was just telling them how great you are, gosh, is that a new shirt?"

His fake cheerfulness was silly enough to make him laugh even with his arms crossed. "You get a pass cause you're funny."

Hazel and Steven burst into protesting and crying out that he was unfair.

"That's so not fair!" Steven cried. "You also personally attack me!"

"Steven, sit."

He slumped back into seat. "At least admit you're intentionally harder on me than the others, asshole."

Adam grinned dangerously. "Oh yeah, definitely." He pushed off the wall and approached Steven just as he decided to pout with his head on the table again. "S'cause every time you squeak or squeal it gives me a personal sense of accomplishment in my life. The intense satisfaction of bringing a giant to his knees at the snap of my fingers is pleasing to no end." He abruptly turned to the other two men and they avoided his gaze as they tried to fight back rueful grins. He was so full of himself it was ridiculous, but they couldn't disapprove or dislike the way he functioned. "I like that I'm in charge when I'm shorter than all of you, that gives me..." He waved his hands through the air as if searching through it for a comparison. "Christmas morning joy."

"Dear god, I feel like we're just listened to an overlord," Jacob muttered. "We just listened to an evil overlord indulge in his power."

"I've got your stupid song written. Have fun making that garbage art. I'm going to go take a shower," Adam informed them with a little bow.

Steven, being the instigator he was with Adam (he just couldn't help himself, maybe Connie was rubbing off on him) laughed. "In blood?"

Adam paused and looked over his shoulder. "That can be arranged. Nothing like a bloodbath to start your day off right."

He could barely hold in his laughter as his friends shook their heads slightly. They knew damn well he couldn't and wouldn't keep his mouth shut. "It's three in the afternoon, edgelord."

"Hm." Adam's shoulders lifted with the sound. "Steven, I promise that when you least expect it, you'll regret that big mouth immensely."

He could hardly wait. "Cool. See you later, Pluto."

He grumbled something under his breath and departed.

Hazel giggled and rolled his eyes at Stevens cheeky expression. "You're so brave for that. As a main of his, I pray your end is quick and painless."

"Painless?" Jacob snorted. "Stevens a pain slut, he'll piss Adam off until he does something crazy to him just to say he survived."

Steven sat up like he'd had an epiphany. "I have an idea. You know that voice you to do when Anna has her little... behaviors, right Hazel?"

They had no idea where he was going with that but Hazel nodded. "Yeah whyyyyyohmygod!" He lowered his volume. "I forgot Adam has a weakness."

Jacob quirked a brow and glanced between the two. "All I wanna know is what and then I'm removing myself from this before I get in trouble."

Steven and Hazel took turns explaining it, and their theories of why in particular his weakness laid there.

Jacob nodded as he processed it, then smirked. "Of course the only way to even the playing field is with some dudebro shit like that. I've done that without thinking and his reaction makes sense in retrospect."

"Like I said, it's just a theory." Steven shrugged. "Connie gets like that in the mornings or if I get sick and my throat hurts. I may as well be covered in catnip the way she starts loving on me."

"Anna's the same way. A firm fist and a certain tone and suddenly her chaotic behavior is way easier to handle. God, she's so sweet."

Jacob narrowed his eyes suddenly at Hazel, as if he'd just thought something for the first time. "Since when did you become the bottom for Adam, by the by?"

Hazel scoffed in offense. "I'm not a bottom. I'm a top leaning vers, but there's not really a way to describe it without me suddenly acting like a kid with a massive crush." He scrubbed the back of his neck, then slammed it on the table. "Dammit, Steven! I swear to god I catch myself doing your habits all the time!"

Steven grinned and pretended to flip his hair. "Well, I do get it. Big Dick Energy, you just can't help but mirror it."

"Pound your ass in front of a mirror," Hazel muttered. "See how much shit you talk then when you're watching yourself be a slut."

"Alright I'm ready, but you're going to have to perform it in front of the girls," Adam told them. "Aw, don't look so humiliated yet! Save me the pleasure."

The three glanced at each other and smirked before Steven stood and cracked his back. "You know Adam, I– and you're gonna laugh at this– I just realized that my throats feeling a little weird."

"Damn, me too," Hazel sighed.

Adam, clueless, looked at them in concern. "Cancelled until further notice."

Jacob shrugged. "I mean, I think they'll be fine. I heard something's going around."

Adams gaze turned guarded as he surveyed their body language. "Strange. I wasn't aware of that."

Stevens shit eating grin held nothing back in being suspicious as he approached Adam with pep in his step. When he stood in front of the now sitting man, Adam snorted. "Are you trying to intimidate me? You're a puppy, Steven. You all are and I could eat you for breakfast and still be hungry."

"I think the best part about being a gentle giant is that people forget I have special abilities specifically catered to being a charmer and I barely tap into them. It's fun that you forget that where you're a sigma I'm a god merely posing as a mortal." Steven smirked to himself as Adam stood to grab a beer before he could blush and instead ran headfirst into Jacob fidgeting with his favorite thing to keep his hands busy, his switchblade.

"They always underestimate the clown sidekick, and that's exactly why that's my chosen persona," Jacob explained needlessly.  "Just by being a goofball, I'm charging up my ability to be something a little more serious when the time calls for it. You call yourself an extremist, but I've literally fucked with a loaded gun pressed to my forehead multiple times for a couple of years now. Where you're crazy, I'm fucking chaos."

Adam rolled his eyes and shouldered him out of the way with a snarl that would've scared anyone in their right mind. Sure, Adam could top any of them in dominance but when it came to being not only double teamed, but triple teamed... He snatched open the fridge door and missed Hazel on the other side before he slammed it back shut.

"And me. You think that as your boyfriend, I don't know your cute little weaknesses. You think I don't observe as much as you do. Sure you're a softie when it comes to Anna and the girls, and I finally know why. I know that somewhere in that tortured soul you're simply waiting for one of us to get fed up and flip the table on you. You're not an extremist top, Adam. You think I wouldn't notice that where I'm a Daddy Dom, you're a Brat?" He laughed as Adam blew out a long breath like he was decompressing, his eyes going bright and wide. "My guy, you've been wanting us to Brat Tame you for years probably. Luckily literally all of us have extensive Brat training. But I think you've already fantasized about that plenty, so I was really only reiterating it for my own personal satisfaction. Tell me when you've heard enough."

Steven and Jacob's eyes widened and they crooned lowly, shaking their heads as they mentally planned Hazels funeral. Lots of daisies and yellow flowers. Something intimate and sweet maybe.

It took Adam what could be considered an embarrassingly long moment to collect normally quick wit into a sentence worth even half of a normal one, but then it was like he was in fight or flight. "And you think that's going to be what takes me down? Fine, you got me but let me tell you little fucking betas something," He growled as he finally achieved his beer and slammed the fridge shut to them all on the other side. "The top of the food chain are Brats. Not ones like Connie and Jasmin, the ones who don't give a fuck about being appeased. The ones who can't be tamed. Your intimidation and empty threats don't work on me because I know things about you that you don't even know about yourselves. It's why I'm top gun around here, it's my job to make sure for certain you're all happy, clothed and fed and satisfied. That being said, I have broken you time and time again until you have begging for my hands to so much as grace your beta ass bodies." He laughed weakly and fought the flustered arousal away. "I should kick your asses for even attempting to make me blush."

Steven forced the smirk off his face and shrugged. "Oh well, you guys. Better go over the lyrics and make sure everything is up to parr for Big Poppa."

They filed past him and tried not to notice the way he was glaring and pouting a little.

Jacob curtsied as he passed, being the goofy fuck he was. "Join us when you're ready, Mr. Johansson. We look forward to your attendance."

Adam couldn't even speak as they trampled down the stairs. Triple teaming was so unfair, and to call him a Brat? His fingers dented the can as his irritation grew. Those rat bastards tapping into a side of himself he barely knew about made him want to both melt into their arms in exhaustion and punch through a brick wall. No matter, they hadn't the foggiest idea what they were doing. Sure their little speeches were cute (did Jacob say he was into gun play cause holy shit that's insane!) but he was still at the top.

Still, he couldn't shake the feeling of being powerless. And what's worse, the feeling that he was kind of proud? He was proud of them, and the helplessness affected him in every way he must have had them before. It felt good, and to a man seldom seen being anything close to submissive, it was at full swing now.

But he could handle it. He could keep face.

The girls (and Alex) bustled in the door with their arms full of shopping bags and drinking coffee with freshly done nails. He tried to greet them and found he couldn't even open his mouth. What was with this strange need to have his head rubbed?

Being the loud mouth she was, Connie noticed it first. "Adam, you're the reddest I've ever seen you in my life."

Anna smirked. "Looks like Daddy might have been finally set straight."

"Anna, I swear to god–,"

"Mmm, no. Come on, Daddy. We know a Brat when we see one."

Jasmin chuckled and they set down their bags. This was far more interesting. "So did they finally triple team you? God I would have stayed home for that! Did they make you cry with pleasure for once?"

Adam wrinkled his nose as he felt more blood rushing to his face. In a labored movement, he leaned forward and set his elbows on his knees so he could cover his face and groan. "My life. My kingdom is rapidly approaching its end. I can see the incoming storm from my castle and it does not look good."

Connie grinned and did jazz hands. "Welcome to era 4. The only downside is if the boys pull this off, we're going to have some changes in dynamics too. Though I guess I wouldn't mind some new surprises."

Speaking of surprises, then came the boys dressed to the nines in a shocking array of lack of color.

All eyes fell upon them strutting their stuff as they approached their women for a greeting.

"We just walked into a house of goth boys," Alex mumbled as his pupils quite literally dilated. "Can't say I'm complaining."

"We know we look good." Hazel dropped him a kiss before he picked up Anna. "Hey babygirl, did you have fun shopping?"

She blinked rapidly as if she couldn't believe her eyes and giggled. "My god you're fine."

Connie bit her lip at Steven and trailed her hands over his jacket. "You... I– wow you're..." She sputtered and shook her head as he leaned down to shut her up and dig his fingers into her ass.

"I missed you." Even his admittance seemed smoother and that son of a bitch knew it. "I can't wait to make you cry." He grinned as she flushed and weakly smacked him. "Do you like me in black, Berry?"

"There's something about your curly hair in a beanie and still managing to be messy that's undyingly sexy. How about another kiss?" She smiled into it the whole time, fiddling with those baby hairs sticking out and framing those soft cheeks.

Jasmin couldn't even speak past, "You're so fucking dumb for this I don't even know what to say."

Jacob chuckled. "Your fake bullying is so weak. When are you gonna realize I already speak Jasmin? Just say you're speechless, I'm hot, and you can't wait for me to have you later."

"You're the worst," She groaned, trying and failing to stop herself from drinking him in. "Whatever."

He chuckled as her head thumped against his chest. "I love you too, dear."

They then turned on the goth boy glaring at them. The second their eyes landed on him he looked away for the first time ever. It was a full head turn and everything.

"Oh shit," Alex whispered. "I think we finally got him."

Steven held back laughter as he pretended to move the girls around and glance over the commons. "Hey, where's that tiny little sigma we usually have running around?"

Jacob tsked and shook his head. "Dunno. Maybe the ole chap died a miserable, valiant death. All I see is a Brat very similar to my own. Good thing I'll be in the booth with him for maximum efficiency."

Adam sulked even harder, his resolve strengthening at the same time he felt his body start having a breakdown. "If you so much as breathe the air I'm breathing–,"

Jacob made a step like he was going closer and Adam sat up straight on high alert, causing giggled and awed breaths.

Anna motioned for the girls to follow and they all surrounded Adam with kisses, cheering, "One of us! One of us!"

Humiliated but supposedly unbreakable, he rolled his eyes. "I hate you people."

Alex, enjoying the chaos, gasped. "Hey, now you sound just like me! Twinsies!"

"Ladies, if you could escort your newest recruit downstairs and make sure his legs don't give out from how smoking hot we are, that'd be swell," Steven told them.

"You'll never be a real goth," Adam sneered as they lead him away.

Steven smirked. "I don't need to be. I've already got your number, baby boy."

Adam's jaw dropped indignantly but he couldn't even speak.

*

"Good luck still trying to act like you're cool with the hot garbage I made you." Adam crossed his arms smugly, trying to ignore the way Anna and Jacob were kissing anywhere they could find bare skin. "Eat like kings."

Hazel and Steven exchanged a look and Steven sighed into his mic. "God this is going to be so terrible."

"I know," Hazel agreed with a wink. "May as well just get it over with. Alex, start the camera and the track."

"Remind me why there's cameras?"

"For fun."

The track started playing and Steven and Hazel exchanged a few words far enough from the mic to not be heard. Steven nodded and jogged to turn off the main light, dimming their figures enough to make them all have to lean in a bit. That was the real fun here, the showmanship along with the atomic bomb they were about to drop.

The beat, the track, was perfect for the theme they were going for. Bass-y, a little dark. The kind of music you played with bass maxed out as you speed down a highway with the top down while you snort lines. Steven could hardly contain his excitement with the task ahead. He firmly believed he could make anything a hit, and this one was going to sit at the top of the charts if his life depended on it.

Hazel took the first line and even Steven had to stifle a shiver. There was nothing sexier a man had to offer than his natural bass often not heard during the day. That morning rumble or that evening hum as they push in balls deep, that was a man's best asset. Even still, Hazel held back just a bit so the chorus would drop just that harder.

"No chance you catch me down bad
P90, aim straight for your head
Callin' up my bitch, yeah, she know she at the top of the list
Said she pulled up with her friends, so I–,"

Steven gathered every ounce of bass in his natural voice, which could be considered a copious amount with how big he was. With a chest that broad, the sound that came out made their jaws drop. "Tell her throw it back, then I blow a bag," He watched as their faces grew completely mystified and then burst into cheers. The satisfaction of knowing he'd done it brought a glow to his eyes that he contained there as he watched Adam's face cycle through every stage of grief including the honorary ones. Adam's biggest weakness? That gravel with no escape.
"Drop it down low, let 'em know it's like that
Feel like I'm hexed, yeah, that bitch bad
Collar on her neck and her ass real fat."

They went through the entire thing, though they didn't need to since Adam's head was already resting against the table in defeat. It was almost humorous how easily they'd taken him out and how easy it turned out to be.

His poor Connie looked a good four seconds to her absolute limit of shock and loving lust. He had only used what the girls respectively called The Voice a few times, and he was pretty sure it was laced with a human kind of magic that took people down for the count. It was even royally satisfying to use it, and he let himself test the limits by going a bit deeper on his verse.

The two fist bumped and bowed to the ones who weren't flustered enough to be unable to cheer and let them jabber in pride of their two apparently crazy cringey friends.

"That alt enough for you, Adam?" Steven asked the puddle he assumed to be his friend.

Adam took a deep breath and seemed to be attempting to force himself to move, but was unable on the first try. He sat up straight, snatched off his beanie and threaded his hands through his hair as he stared over at the two mics used to take him out. What a weapon, he almost respected their purposeful leading him on that it would be bad. He puffed out his cheeks with a breath and let go. He let himself blush and though he hated it, he let himself whine about it. "You guys are total fucking assholes. Swear to god when I'm out of this I'm going to be so mean."

"We look forward to it."

Jacob grinned. "Every surface in the kitchen. We can order out tonight."