"I mean, why would anyone want to marry me?"

"Why do you think she doesn't want to marry you?"

"Who wants to marry me Vaishu?" I asked as he removed my t-shirt and limped towards the bed. My crutch helps me to stand and to walk for a little but for long can tire me out. It has been two years since the accident and there are few parts in me that still needs recovery.

The doctor said my depression was not helping me in anything, said it's worsening my condition and that I need to pick up my pieces if I want to get better. There's no exactly bringing my leg back, it really gets hard when I am tired, it still hurts sometimes when I strain too much.

I work at home, free lancing. My degree in B.com has come to handy when I wanted to earn something on my own.

There are only two things I know very well about, one is armed forces and the other is commerce.

"Why would any one leave you out? You are smart, handsome and good at heart."

"And you are liar."

"Varu-"

"Varun! You still did not take a bath? Maha will be home soon! You are going to greet her like this?"

Maha. Maha. Maha. Her name is sounding like a lightening in the dark sky. The pretty girl, the neighbourhood cute girl, Bhargav's younger sister, the girl who is off limits. Mahalakshmi.

Why did she agree to this marriage? I know, I know, I know, I know that she is pregnant with someone else, I know my mother thought it would be good if there's someone in my life but why her?

I know what is going to happen, Mahalakshmi is just few weeks pregnant so everyone is going to pretend that the baby is mine. And my mother is fine. She is fine with accepting anything as long as her Mahalakshmi is there in the situation. She is hell bent on getting me married to her. And that's for a reason only I and she knows. My mother believes that Mahalakshmi can change me.

My mother thinks there exist a thing let alone human that can change me, or make me fall in love again. Love. Love and suddenly I feel my heart aching.

"Varun!" I heard my mother yell as she came and shook me.

"Go and get dressed. And Vaishnavi, go and see if your Anitha bhabhi needs something."

Vaishnavi left like that leaving mom and me in my room.

"Varun. Why are you doing this? Don't you like Maha? See I know you are thinking about her baby but see think about the change Maha can bring you. You and I-"

"Have you moved on from Khushi death ma?"

My mother went silent. Khushi, my girlfriend. Who was in that car with me, who looked at me for the last time before death took her away from me, whose death I have seen with my own eyes, who took her last breath looking at me with those beautiful black eyes that I can no longer look into.

"How can you expect me to stay happy when my happiness died with her ma? I am marrying, yeah, but did you ask me ma? Whether I want this marriage? Whether I want to marry someone else while I lost the woman I wanted to spend the rest of my life with?"

My mom looked at me like that for a few seconds before she smiled at me, a knowing one making me frown.

"One day, you will thank me for doing this."

"You are not just doing this to me but for her also."

"Her father is getting her married and he will do that with you or someone else. They have seen you grow up and Bhargav is practically your close friend after Vaishu. They are our neighbours so when I asked them they are completely fine with that. Don't think Maha has any say in it. Poor girl suffered enough."

"She also made her father suffer to maa. Imagine how many dreams he might have dreamt? I am not saying that whatever they are doing is right but actions have consequences." Nobody knows that better than me.

"Get ready soon or you will be late for ceremony." My mother said nothing regarding what I spoke and instead instructed me to get ready. Soon my brother came inside me to help me get ready.

I still can't get accustomed to people helping me, it makes me feel like I am weak, that I am lesser than them, that I am useless.

"Lift your leg slowly." My brother said as
He made me wear my pants. "You don't have to do this." I said and picked my belt from behind.

"I know."

I sighed.

"If not me then who?" He asked.

"Mom? Dad?" He chuckled and got up from his position.

"You need to understand this that family helps each other in needs, and I am sure you would have done this for me and way more than this infact if it was me in your position. I know considering your choice of profession and how your life before that incident is tough, but when you need to lean on someone, do it. It's fine. You don't always have to be strong. And I guess from tomorrow it would be your wife doing this for you."

He said those last words in a cheeky tone with a wink. As if. As if Mahalakshmi the mighty would get on her knees to help me get in my pants. Blasphemy that would be the biggest joke. I need to learn ways to help myself. And even if she wants to, I can't let him sit on the ground and do all these chores, what if something happens to her baby? That reminds me that I have no knowledge on pregnancy, maybe I need to buy some books on how to look after a pregnant woman.

"Varun it's time for the ceremony."