"I love you Ren"

Four words— four words that she loved the sound of when it rolled off her tongue, or the reaction it elicited from the only person capable of destroying her.

"I love you too, Amanthy"

More words she couldn't get enough of. More words that seemed to grow further and further out of her reach.

Amanthy stared into the hazel orbs that never failed to make her weak— a weakness she simply can't afford. That's what began this mess in the first place, because she was weak, and her resolve was weak, everything just seemed to fall apart the moment she let herself feel again. Amanthy was doomed the day she ran into Serenity smith and she was well aware of that now, even subconsciously.

"Back then you didn't know any better" Amanthy spoke after a beat of silence. She knew this wasn't real, she knew her words wouldn't truly reach her. Amanthy watched the crinkles form around Serenity's eyes as an amused smile tugged at her lips. Deep down, this is the real Serenity— the Serenity who knows exactly what she means prior to an explanation, the Serenity who knows the chaos and storms that hides behind her lovers smile, or the Serenity who isn't selfless enough to sacrifice her own agenda for a woman who once sacrificed everything for her.

"Know any better?" Serenity tilted her head as she furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. Amanthy shook her head in disbelief as she let out a chuckle that lacked any actual joy.

"You know Serenity, I'm sure that you do" Amanthy said referring to her partners confusion. Was it even appropriate to consider her a partner knowing that things were brewing and that soon everything would fall apart, maybe even worse than last time? Amanthy had no idea, all she can think about is how much it'll hurt if she has to let go again.

"Of course I know, you may not say it or show it, but you blame me. Somehow you blame me for something I had no control over, something that I was willing to die for in the end. Amanthy you deprived me of that choice" Serenity said as her smile faded and her eyes fazed to their unnatural hues. Her left eye practically resembling red as black danced across the whites of her eyes.

Amanthy processed her words as she herself suddenly felt selfish and entitled, because as much as she'd love to deny it— even in the midst of her sacrifice she hadn't realized how much she was truly destroying Serenity rather than herself. Her lover searched her eyes for this acknowledgment, and as quickly as it was found she still opened her mouth to solidify her statement.

"You took that choice from me Amanthy, now I will take a few from you"

—

Amanthy woke up slowly as she reeled from the conversation she had in her dream. She had to constantly remind herself that it was just that— a dream.

The emerald eyed woman took in her surroundings as she shook off her grogginess. She had slept on the couch in Amara's room, refusing to return back to her infuriating lover. Their argument ended with a screaming match and a door slamming in her face after they'd returned yesterday evening. Amanthy could count on one hand how many times she and Serenity had argued and now that she was becoming familiar with it she was sure she wasn't fond of it in the least.

"I see your awake" Amara spoke from the doorway to the bathroom, practically scaring Amanthy out of her skin.

"Ugh I do not miss you and your strange stealth at all" Amanthy said with a groan. Amanthys' life long theory was that Amara manipulated the energy around her, effectively creating no sound.

"Magic" she said as she turned back into the bathroom and resumed her morning routine. Amanthy rolled her eyes as she got up from the couch and began to mentally prepare to head back to Serenity's room where her clothes and toothbrush were. She knew she could just borrow clothes from Amara and use a spare toothbrush just as she had with Serenity but she was also aware of the fact that she couldn't avoid her forever.

She folded the blanket she used through the night and left it neatly on the couch as she headed for the door.

"Thanks, I'll most likely be back later to fill you in on how this goes" she said turning the nob just as Amara threw a dismissive wave out the bathroom as she departed.

Amanthy walked in quick strides to her lovers room as she contemplated how the conversation would go. She felt like she was being backed into a corner as she cursed under her breath. At this point her options were clear, she could tell Serenity the truth and risk mg killing her off, or she could maintain her silence and risk losing Serenity, the foundation they once built would be gone.

As she got closer to her destination, she began to notice the looks she received as she passed the people going to and from in the halls. Some gazes thrown her way were hopeful whilst others were disbelieving. It's not everyday you see a dead person come back to life, obviously this will take some adjusting.

Amanthy reached her door as she knocked twice and tested her luck twisting the knob. To her surprise it was unlocked. She slowly crept into the room as she heard the shower running in the adjacent bathroom.

She knew she wasn't very stealthy in that moment and it came as no surprise when the water immediately stopped upon her entry.

Amanthy closed the door behind herself as she walked further into the room heading for the drawers to help herself to some clothes.

Serenity opened the door, standing in the doorway as she watched the green eyed woman rummaged through a drawer looking for something to wear.

"Did I say you could enter my room" Serenity asked with her chin up half kidding but also half serious as she fought off a smirk. Amanthy turned to face her mate and returned her expression.

"You mean the room that was mine first?" Amanthy bit back as she crossed her arms challengingly. At this point Amanthy was sure this is what their day would consist of, pointless banter and bickering.

"Keyword was, my love. Past tense seems to be the theme of the week" Serenity said dropping the towel she was wrapped in to the floor with a victorious smirk. Amanthy fought to keep her expression neutral as her eyes roamed the body that was approaching her, anticipating every sway of her hips, her gaze beckoning the woman closer.

Serenity could see the hunger pool within her iris's as she detoured to the drawer next to her on purpose. She almost laughed at the older woman's facial expression which quickly subsided as one of her arms wrapped around her thin waist tugging her close, their bodies now flush against one another.

"Where do you think you're going Ren" Amanthy practically growled out as she pulled her impossibly closer. Serenity registered the old nickname quickly as nostalgia accompanied the memory. After all this time this woman could still make her heart want to leap out of her chest.

"Why are you here Amanthy?" Serenity asked fighting her own desire for her partner. She couldn't let lust cloud her judgement, not now
when the truth was so close. She could see the internal battle Amanthy was fighting as she remained silent pondering her thoughts. Amanthys' eyebrows furrowed as she came up with the most honest answer she could.

"I'm sorry, but I can't tell you love"

————

A/N: how long y'all think amanthy gone keep it up for lmfaoo?? Personally I think she'll just spill the beans... who knows tho.

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