Hey!

So Basically, I wrote a note (don't know the exact word) on my page: It was that:

"Hello. Yeah, sorry to bother you: I noticed that most of you (readers) are trans guys. (well, a bit obvious considering that my book is litteraly "tips for trans guys").Well, I just wanted to ask: I'm writting a story, like a whole book. You may not know it but this is what I aspire to do. So (if I finish it), I'll present it to an editor (luckily for me, my dad have connections). I want to include a trans character, because I really think we miss representation, and I never read a book with a trans character (that is not only here for their transidentity). So, since you are concerned, what kind of trans character would you enjoy?Like, would you like me to describe their dysphoria? Should their transidentity be mentionned? Or should they transition during the story? Tell me.Sorry, kind of long message, not even sure anyone will answer but hey, I have to try.So yeah, bye bye, take care of you"

You get the idea. Thanks to the people who responded by the way!

So this is not exactly an advice, but since some of you read, some of you write, I thought it could be a good idea to let you know how I write my trans character in my book. You see, to let me know what is okay or what is not, what i could do to improve myself, things like that. Plus, a lot lot of you are trans (well, since the book is litteraly for trans guys (and NB), it is kind of normal), you could tell me if this representation seems good for you.

I originally wrote that in french (natal language and all), and then traduced it in english. I'll put the two versions, so if some people perfectly speaks the two languages, or are just better at traducing than me, feel free to correct me!

This is kind of ... surnatural I guess? Yeah, don't be too worried about that.

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(This character is presented is the book as his deadname at first, cause he is perceived from the point of view of the other characters. Here, the first extract from his point of view. For the point of view of my characters, I always write at the third singular person. So, I can't give you the whole story, but in fact, this passage from the book was made to make believe the reader that this is a new character when in fact, this is simply that we learn who he really is, what he thinks... So yeah...)

Will. A good guy. The kind of person to whom you would tell your entire life story just by looking at his face for ten minutes. Well, you had to succeed in perceiving it first: Always his head down, immersed in a book with an indefinable number of pages, almost seeming to forget all the noise and movement around him. Maybe to the point of forgetting himself. That was all he asked for: Forget even his existence, slalom between the various obstacles of earthly life, and wait without dreading it but without wanting to advance it either, the day when all this would end, and that he could finally just close his eyes and never reopen them again.But for the moment, Will was stuck there, with a few words written on a cold piece of paper as his only escape. It was sufficient for the moment. It would have to be for a while longer.

- Hey S-Sandra!

Ouch. Will gritted his teeth for a few moments, then looked up resignedly. It was only a few letters. A miserable word, a poor name: He should have been used to it, considering the quantity of words he swallowed every day through the lines of his countless books. And yet ... This one gave him the effect of a spider encrusted under his skin. He was used to that kind of feeling in truth, and if he had been asked, he much preferred spiders.

What do you want ? He said, in a jaded ton.

Assoon as the words left his mouth, he regretted them. They echoed inhis aching skull for a few moments. He knew his voice, and yet hecontinually forgot how... feminine it was. It made sense, somehow, itwas normal ... But every word made him want to scream until his vocalcords tore off.

Theyoung boy standing in front of him looked at him in embarrassment,grinding his hands, his gaze pinned to the ground sometimes brievlylooking up in Will's direction.

Could you.. Do your thing ? Wi-with your hand, y'know...

Why, are you that bored ?

No, it's just that.. I'll like to know if.. If this works with. You kn-know.

I see.

With a sigh, Will straightened up and rolled up his sleeve. It didn't really come from his hands, most of the time he made them come from his arm. He huffed: It was never very pleasant, but the boy looked terribly alone. Plus, they would like to come out at one time or another,so why not now. Both eyes fixed on the arm, he concentrated,until a small bump emerged in his forearm. It stirred, shook herself,like a cake swelling in the oven, and a small slit opened. Timidly,one paw at a time, she tested the outside air, and rushed outside.There, all curled up against Will's arm, a timid peacock spider scrutinized the young boy with interest. Will had many more, besides,he felt them move, scratch his ribs, play hide and seek in his stomach, jealous of not having been chosen for the outing. Violin spiders, tarantulas ... that wouldn't have been the perfect spider for a presentation.

(The story continue, but I'll stop here.) 

__________ French Version__________

(Ce personnage est présenté dans le livre en tant que son deadname au départ, car il est perçu à travers le regard des autres personnages. Ci dessous, le premier passage de son point de vu. Pour les point de vu des personnage, j'écrit tout de même à la troisième personnage du singulier. En gros, je ne peux pas donner toute l'histoire, mais ce passage est fait pour faire croire au lecteur qu'il s'agit d'un nouveau personnage, quand en vérité c'est simplement qu'on apprends qui il est vraiment, ce qu'il pense. Voilà voilà...)

Will. Un bon gars. Le genre de personne à laquelle on confierait sa vie entière rien qu'en regardant sa bouille une dizaine de minute. Enfin, il fallait réussir à la percevoir : Toujours tête baissée ,plongé dans un livre au nombre de pages indéfinissable, semblant presque en oublier tout le bruit et le mouvement autour de lui. Peut-être jusqu'à s'oublier lui même. C'est tout ce qu'il demandait : Oublier jusqu'à son existence, slalomer entre les divers obstacles de la vie terrestre, et attendre sans le redouter mais sans vouloir l'avancer non plus, lejour où tout ça se terminerai, et qu'il pourrait enfin simplement fermer les yeux pour ne plus les rouvrir.

Mais pour le moment, Will était coincé là, avec pour seul échappatoire quelques mots inscrits sur un papier froid. C'était suffisant pour le moment. Il faudrait que ce le sois pour quelques temps encore.

Hey ! S-Sandra !

Aïe. Will sera les dents quelques instants, puis il releva la tête d'un air résigné. Ce n'était que quelques lettres. Un misérable mot, un pauvre nom : Il aurait dut avoir l'habitude, vu la quantité de mots qu'il avalait chaque jour au travers des lignes de ses innombrables livres. Et pourtant...Celui ci lui faisait l'effet d'une araignée s'incrustant sous sa peau. Il avait l'habitude de ce genre de sensation en vérité ,et si on lui avait demandé, il préférait de loin les araignées.

Qu'es ce que tu veux ? Fit-il d'un air blasé .

Aussitôt que les mots étaient sortis de sa bouche, il les regretta. Ils firent échos dans son crâne douloureux quelques instants. Il connaissait sa voix, et pourtant, il oubliait continuellement à quelle point elle était...Féminine. Ça tombait sous le sens, quelque part, c'était normal... Mais chaque mot lui donnait l'envie de hurler jusqu'à s'arracher les cordes vocales.

Le jeune garçon qui se tenait devant lui le regardait d'un air gêné, triturant ses mains, le regard cloué au sol.

Es-ce que tu pourrais... Faire ton truc ? Av-avec tes mains là.

Pourquoi, tu t'ennuie à ce point ?

Non, c'est juste que... J'aimerais vérifier si ça marche sur... Tu sais.

Je vois.

Dans un soupir, Will se redressa et releva sa manche. Ça ne venait pas vraiment de ses mains, la plupart du temps, il les faisaient venir de son bras. Il souffla : Ce n'était jamais bien agréable, mais le garçon avait l'air en manque terrible d'affection. Et puis, elles voudraient bien sortir à un moment ou un autre, autant que ce soit maintenant. Les deux regards fixés sur le bras, il se concentra, jusqu'à ce qu'une petite bosse émerge au niveau de son avant bras. Elle remua, se secoua, comme un gateau qui gonflerait dans le four, et une petite fente s'ouvrit. Timidement, une patte après l'autre, elle testa l'air extérieur, et s'engouffra dehors. Là, toute recroquevillée contre le bras de Will, une timide araignée paon scrutait le jeune garçon avec intêret. Will en avait bien d'autre, d'ailleurs, il les sentait remuer, gratter ses côtes, jouer à cache cache dans son estomac, jalouses de ne pas avoir été choisie pour la sortie. Des araignée violon, une mygale... ça n'aurait pas été l'araignée parfaite pour une présentation.

(l'histoire continue mais je m'arrête là.)

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So yeah, that's it! I hope this is okay, I'm not really confident in my writting, I'm not sure it is good but I'll work on it. So yeah, if you read it, tell me what I could change and all, if this is too much description or not enough... I wanted a character that is trans and make the reader live it thought his eyes, but in the same time, I did not want a character that is only transgender. He have a whole role in ths story, and his transidentity is just yet another part of who he is. 

I'm writting an chapter of advices on transidentity, so don't worry, I won't invade the book with personnal thing. Just wanted the opinions of people who could understand. 

Bye bye.