Sup guys. I'm back. I actually got back from band camp a week ago, but I have been busy with marching band and stuff.

Stuff has been going on. A lot. Yesterday my family made me feel worthless. I almost *cough* you know...

Today wasn't as bad. But I still feel emotionally like crap. I really need some spirit lifting. Lol but it's good

I've been smiling though the pain

It's all good

I'm sorry I'm telling yall this. I know probably 99.9% of you probably don't care. I don't have anyone else to talk to... It's comforting being able to talk to people even if I don't know any of you in real life (except those I do)

I really freaking wish I could die right now. There are only 3 things stopping me.

1) Fear. The fear that if I attempt to commit suicide, then I might not succeed, and I would have to explain to family if I live. Also I'm mildly afraid of death, so...

2) Hope. I know things will get better. But I'm fucking tired of waiting.

3) You guys. All your nice comments really touch me :) Thanks to all of you.

I'm done with that rant

But nobody better tell me "That if I truly wanted to commit suicide, then I would have done it already". I will freaking kill you.

I'm done here

Tinka

Ouuutttt

Oh yeah, also I'm getting a new cat soon :)

His name is Beret and he is a 3 month black kitten with yellow eyes :)

I miss Tinka though :(

This is forever my fav pic of her :)