"What!" you shouted throughout the pub, much louder than you should have, but it was completely called for, "What do you mean, I'm dead? I mean—I feel-I feel alive...I think?"

Great now you were just as freaked as Brian was last night, but this time, likely even more so. What did he even mean!? Could you be actually dead? You felt alive, you felt your body, you could breathe. What did he mean dead?

"No you're not dead here," he tried to calm you, "You're very much alive here...at least I think," he answered, your mind was absolutely racing.

"But how—why?" you replied, running your fingers through your hair and then attempting to stabilize yourself but you felt extremely overcome with emotion though you couldn't wrap your head around it.

"Y/n," he said calmly, "Just logically speaking, of course...," he sighed, "if you traveled back to the past and altered it, you shouldn't be able to remember that it was supposed to be another way," he grabbed the paper and gently placed his finger on your timeline and traced it as he spoke, "You see, your timeline ended here in 2017," he tapped on it, "If you really were to travel back in time everything you did would have an effect on present you. Your ability to remember a different present—er, well—past, means that your timeline in the future had to have stopped...and there's only one logical way that can, well.." he trailed off.

Tears began to well in your eyes and instantly your face flew into your hands. Who knows what the people around the pub must be thinking, either way, it didn't matter, nothing mattered...it seemed obvious you'd never be getting home. Somehow you just had it in your mind that everything was fine, and even if you weren't thinking about it quite particularly, there was at least a hope you'd be able to return home. The thought hadn't fully occurred to you that you didn't have a home—yes when you'd split with Freddie for that short period of time and lived with Jer it had, but not in this way. You always thought you'd be able to just be whisked back to where you left off in the future...maybe it was the fantasies of books, music, and tv shows that made that possibility seem all to real. It's also hard to know you're falsely hoping when the thought never crossed your mind to hope at all.

Brian came around the booth to sit with you. You just couldn't stop the tears from silently flowing, your head was down and Brian just tried to sort of comfort you.

"...so you're saying that I'll never see my mother again, my father, my home, my friends, my life?" you said brokenly as you looked up at him. It was consuming you. Then you stared out the window and pressed your lips together, looking down, "Do they even know what happened to me?" It was all just crashing in. Brian didn't exactly know what to say, he just sighed and had his hand on your shoulder.

"It's going to be okay y/n," he said calmly, sighing. You turned around to him tears in your eyes.

"How could it possibly be okay Brian? If you're right—and I'm sure you're right, you're Brian fucking May, of course you're right—that means I can never go home," you cried, "What's the fucking point, god!"

"Y/n," he said calmly, but you just sank into your hands.

"I might as well go and fucking die," you said, muffled by the sleeves of your jacket. You were just overcome with such sheer intensity of emotions you had no idea how to handle it. People were beginning to stare but Brian kindly feigned them off. It was just all too much.

"Don't talk like that," he said gently, "You've got a life here, don't you?"

"Yeah," you lifted your head up, in tears, "but look at it, I've fucked up Freddie's life, yours and Roger's I'm sure, and I don't even know half of what it is I've done yet. And I'm dead Brian—I'm fucking dead!" you cried, you're sure the bystanders who might at this point be still listening thought you were an absolute mess, "I can't even kill myself here," you became hysterical, "I'm dead and I can't kill myself. How about that!? It doesn't matter whether I live or die anymore, I've just completely ruined all of your lives!"

"Y/n, you haven't ruined anyone's lives, please don't be so hard on yourself," Brian replied, he was handling you quite well really, much better than you could've possibly handled him last night, "...you are right about one thing, ending your life is not an option. The events that have happened here will continue to alter the future, but y/n, you have people here who care about you".

"Really?" you sighed and sniffled, then wiped a tear.

"Yes, my god!" Brian sort of laughed, he could sense your pain and you noticed the littlest bit of a tear in his own eye, "I haven't even come to know you yet and I care enough to be sitting with you here now," he then grabbed your hand with both of his, "I really want to help you, y/n. I'll help you try and fix all this if you like, you and me, we'll figure out how to put things right".

"Thanks Brian," you said, letting go of his hands and giving a smile. He really was a good guy, "Thank you".

"It's my pleasure," he smiled back.

You looked around the pub, it was practically empty at this point, figures. He was right though, you suppose, there were people here that cared about you. Maybe you could live a happy life here, or could you? You were sure there would always be this guilt plaguing you about what you had don't. You wanted to tell yourself it wasn't your fault, but you weren't really sure how it happened. Would you ever know?

You suddenly became concerned about time, my god you must've been out at least a few hours. Hopefully Freddie wouldn't notice you'd been gone more than the amount of time appropriate for a lunch.

"Goodness Brian, I better get back," you stated, leaving your thoughts, "I told Freddie I wouldn't be all that long," you continued, picking up your purse off the seat as Brian stood up.

"Of course," he replied, "And I really think we should meet up and talk about this further. I know you don't want to tell me about what events happen next, out of fear of me interfering, but maybe I can help keep things on course". Maybe he could aid your guilt and help get things back on track, you thought.

"Oh um, okay, what works best for you?" you asked, slinging your purse over your shoulder, "I need a little time to process all this and this week I'm terribly busy with work and the gig on Tuesday—I assume you're going?"

"Yes," he responded, "Let's see, do you think you could come by the college the week after this next? Tuesday maybe, after lunch—seems less conspicuous if you're trying to feign off Freddie's curiosity," he suggested, that would be rather important.

"Sure," you replied, "Tuesday the 16th. Sounds good," you stated, taking a deep breath, you really hoped this would go over well and maybe Brian could actually help you set things right, you walked out the door of the pub with Brian who was headed in the opposite direction of yourself, "See you tonight then I assume, the usual get together?"

"Yes," he nodded, "See you tonight," he replied and turned away.

You took a big deep breath in and dried the last of your tears...which was kind of useless because as you walked away they came again. The trouble with emotions is that they always seem to persist. You walked down the street contemplating life. You certainly couldn't go back to the flat and absolute mess, so you walked around a bit until you were calm. The London scene always seemed to help, there was always something magical about the city—even in all it's ups and downs. You just felt special being here. That was the best form of comfort, feeling like you belonged...or at least trying to feel like you did.

It wasn't very long before you found yourself back at the flat. As you came up the walk you heard the sounds of the boys still jamming away, playing a tune of something rather familiar. You could've sworn Freddie and the boys were playing Liar!

You opened up the wooden door to see the whole lot of them fully immersed in their craft. Freddie smiled, a sparkle in his eye when he saw you.

"Lover, you never believe me!" he sang.

Ah, you remembered, it was called Lover way back when, Freddie was having an absolute ball. He carried with him the same presence now as he would on stage in later years preforming this same—well slightly different—song. It was unbelievable.

They suddenly stopped a moment, they'd only written so far. A strange curiosity to the song in it's beginning stages.

"How was lunch dear?" said Freddie as he came over to you wrapping his arms around your shoulders. You took a breath in and smiled, it was nice to be with him again.

"Good, uneventful really," you replied, that probably was the wrong thing to say but he was rather wrapped up in his task at hand.

"Glad to have you back honey, now have a seat, we're working on something big, I can feel it!" he said excitedly as he gestured towards your usual place on the couch, almost like he had laid it down just for you.

"Ooh exciting!" you said sitting down, it really was rather exciting, all of this coming together. A good distraction from the days earlier events really.

Mike and Tupp were busy debating what would come next in the song while Tupp was rat-tat-tating out the familiar beat that rest so closely to your heart back home. Mike strummed out a few blues-like chords and Freddie instantly grew diva-ishly dissatisfied.

"No, no, no, no, no," he started, waltzing about the room with a certain stature of authority, "We're never going to get anywhere playing all this three-chord blues crap, we'll have to write some songs with substance. Key changes, anything!" he bursted out.

"What do you want a key change for?" replied Mike.

"It makes the song more interesting, gives it a lift," replied Freddie with the pride of a champion and the gesture of a sovereign.

"Why have you always got this thing for gratuitous key changes?" Mike rolled his eyes.

"Not always," replied Freddie, rolling his eyes right back and quickly glancing to smile at you.

"Get real," scoffed Miffer, he always had some comment to add.

"Just give it a go," instructed Freddie then counted them in and they began to play. Freddie always found a way to get his way, as they played Mike messed around with the chords a bit and it really fired Freddie up, he had gotten his wish.

Funny hearing Lair—well Lover—in it's early bits now. It sounded so much like Zeppelin really, similar to the original tune of Liar you'd come to know. It was almost the same tune, but not quite. It wouldn't be finished in time for the show on Tuesday, but it was such a wonderful thing to hear him fiddling with here in the early days. It made you smile, Liar had always been one of your favorites anyway.

The Ibex boys continued on practicing this awhile, well into the afternoon and early evening. It wasn't long before Smile and the gang came over and joined you. The whole lot of you always had an absolute ball together. It gave life much more warmth.

Maybe Brian was right, you did have people here who loved you. Hell you'd even become close friends with people you could only imagine in your wildest dreams becoming close with. Not to mention the bonus of their friends and acquaintances. Things may just be okay, but only time would truly tell. 

_______

Sorry if this chapter got rather dark at part of it. I was going to more into detail about the complexes going on in y/n's mind but I was worried it might get a little intense, so that's why its a little bit of a less...detailed (?) chapter than I'd like. Just an interesting thing to note about this whole circumstance if you're into analysis, during this time in the actual timeline of Freddie's life he was going through a lot of the same emotions that y/n is now feeling. He had a whole period of depression during this time (that really should be talked about more in Queen history). He had lots of conflicting negative thoughts about his place in the world not only about his career and even bits dealing with sexuality, but also regarding feeling like he was a burden to people because he felt if they weren't in his life they could be on a better path. (It should be noted that his relationship with Rosemary sparred a lot of that depression). I just think it's an interesting contrast that in y/n's timeline back in the 60s she takes on the emotional complex of Freddie that he would've otherwise had, had she not been there...everything down to wanting to die and wishing he hadn't ruined people's lives. Just an interesting little thing to think about and analyze...

Anyway, thanks for reading!