7-10-2028

kuroo sighs deeply as he opens the door, taking of his shoes and calling out "i'm home" before heading to the living room. he'd been in the lab for the past thirty hours — he often stays for long periods of time, from evening to morning two days later.

"hey, tetsu-chan," oikawa smiles as he sits down next to him. he frowns when he notices kuroo's mood. "what is it?"

"they, uhm..." he starts out slowly, "they want to try out the replacement."

"that's awesome, right?" oikawa grins, "the sooner, the better, and we can live normally."

"tooru, the risk is huge," he says, looking up at him, "i'm not letting you do it just yet."

"but yo—"

"i know i invented it. i was the first. nothing succeeds the first time in science," he says, running his thumb over oikawa's cheek. "i don't want you to be the person we test it on."

"tetsu, you made this with me in mind. i want you to try it out on me."

"that's not happening."

"you don't care if it fails on someone else?" oikawa asks, biting his lip.

"no, no, i'd feel awful." kuroo sighs. "i'd feel worse if it were you. i'd never forgive myself. i love you."

"tetsu..."

"it's my development. i want you to try it once it's fully developed and safe."

"yeah, i understand," oikawa whispers. "i just want to be healthy. for me and for you."

"me too. which is why i'm going to perfect this."

27-1-2029

when kuroo returns home, he's exhausted. twenty-seven hours of surgery had tired him out completely. he can barely move anymore, and when he enters their apartment, he's lucky oikawa catches him, preventing him from falling.

"there there," he chuckles, bringing him upright. "let's get you to bed."

"bath," kuroo murmurs, eyes half-lidded.

"bed," oikawa corrects him, "you can bathe in the morning."

they head over, kuroo leaning on oikawa as they do, and he collapses immediately when he sees the bed standing there. oikawa chuckles, taking his coat off for him.

"c'mon, tetsu," he says, "let's get you changed." kuroo responds by pulling him on to the bed as well, wrapping himself around the brunet.

"sleep," he whines. oikawa sighs deeply.

"fine," he replies, relaxing in his grip. they stay silent for a moment, until oikawa asks, "how'd it go?"

"we succeeded," kuroo replies.

"you did now?"

"we did."

they fall asleep.

28-1-2029

kuroo wakes up around three in the afternoon the next day to an empty bed, not surprised seeing as oikawa wakes up early a lot. he gets changed in to sweatpants and a shirt, lazily making his way to the living room. oikawa's sitting on the couch, watching ansatsu kyoushitsu, nothing weird there.

he sits down next to him, wrapping his arms around his waist and pressing his nose against his neck, gently pressing a kiss against the soft skin, before comfortably settling down in to his position. oikawa throws an arm around him, playing with the pitch black hair.

"wanna talk?" oikawa asks, turning to face him.

"why?"

"you seem to be stuck on something," he says, "i'm curious. did something go wrong?"

"a lot went wrong," kuroo replies, "but we made it through." he sighs deeply. "it was painful and it took way too long. we had to switch nurses thrice, but i had no choice but to keep going."

"and?"

"we narrowly avoided failure too many times," kuroo whispers, "i'm still shaken up. we shouldn't have had so many near-death experiences in a day. i'm scared for you to go through it. i don't want you to."

"tetsu..."

"it's not trustworthy," kuroo whispers, choking on a sob. "i'm so sorry, tooru, i just wanted to make things easier for you, but i failed. i failed miserably and i hate myself for it."

"tetsurou, look at me," oikawa said sternly, a certain calmness in his voice, "i trust your word when you say we wait, but i haven't given up on you yet. you shouldn't either."

"i don't even know why i'm so fucking upset," kuroo said, wiping his eyes, "i mean, we succeeded, but fuck, i feel awful."

"it's probably the mental exhaustion," oikawa said, helping along by wiping his tears away, "it's okay. you'll see that things will perk up with time. your brain's just shutting down for a moment."

"even after sleeping for fourteen hours," kuroo sighs, sniffing softly. "i hate this. i hate everything right now."

"that's fine," oikawa chuckles, "take it easy today."

"movie night?"

"naturally."

"i love you," kuroo says, looking up at him, "do i say that enough?"

"tetsu, you say it a lot."

"yeah, but i mean, i tell you a lot when we're happy, i tend to neglect it when i break down."

"you don't break down a lot, anyway," oikawa says, "and i can understand. don't worry about it. i love you too."

15-3-2029

the second time kuroo comes home after attempting the transplant, he doesn't even talk. he immediately grabs ahold of oikawa and breaks down, muffling his cries with oikawa's sweater. oikawa's heart sinks at the heartbreaking sounds, knowing already what happened.

"tetsu..." he whispers, not knowing what to say.

"it was me," kuroo sobs, "it was my fault."

"how's that?"

"i had control. i was in charge for those few short moments. and then... she died, tooru, she died, i killed someone. i murdered someone."

"you didn't murder anyone," oikawa says quietly, "you tried to save her, and this time, it happened to go wrong."

"that's the thing, it can't go wrong," he hiccups.

"kuroo tetsurou," oikawa says, pulling away and grabbing kuroo's cheeks between his hands, "you are not a murderer. you are an incredible man who dedicates his life to spreading love around the world. and however awful you feel after something like this, it's not going to end your career. nobody will love you less."

"i feel so bad about it whenever i think about you," kuroo sighs, wiping his face. "all i want is to make this work for you."

"this isn't gonna make me love you any less, tetsu, don't worry so much. whatever happens in the future, i'm fine with it, as long as we get through it together."

20-3-2029

oikawa accompanies kuroo to the girl's funeral. he feels like he has no option, nor does he need one. kuroo needs all the support he can get, and oikawa possibly has the best shot at consoling the poor family.

"that's them," kuroo whispers as he spots a small group of four standing close to each other. "tooru, i can't do it. everyone here's staring at me as if i killed her. i can't do this."

"it's okay, tetsu," oikawa says, taking his hand, "i'm coming with you. okay?"

"tooru, i can't, i can't do this."

"tetsu, you're going to be okay. we're going to talk to them, and i'll talk, if you need me to. the world won't love you any less, okay? they're probably just upset."

"i'm going to cry."

"that's okay. you're allowed to."

kuroo takes a deep breath, squeezing oikawa's hand as they walk over. her parents are quietly sitting down next to each other, whilst a younger male is standing against the wall, a small girl next to him.

"we don't mean to disturb," oikawa starts, "but we'd like to pay our respects."

the man looks up at them, a sad look on his face. he forces a smile, "you're not disturbing, it's much appreciated. you two are..?"

"i'm kuroo-oikawa tooru. this is my husband. he was in the room with her."

"ah, yes, kuroo-oikawa-sensei," he says, kindness not leaving his face, "thank you for your hard work."

kuroo squeezes oikawa's hand so tightly oikawa can almost feel his bones breaking.

"i'm sorry," he whispers, biting his lip, "i-i tried, i promise you, i did whatever i could... i never meant for things like this to happen."

"you invented the process, right?" he asks.

"part of it, i guess," kuroo admits shamefully, his head hanging low.

"i respect you a lot," he says, "you worked incredibly hard and made her last days a dream come true. i've never seen her that happy before. she suffered so much under that disease..."

"yeah, we know what it's like," oikawa smiles sadly. "it's a handicap, isn't it?"

"you..?"

"i have tricuspid atresia," oikawa confirms. "we appreciate your kind words. he's had a hard time blaming himself. thank you for not doing the same."

"i had no idea," he says breathlessly. "but no, i don't blame you. she decided on this knowing the risk. it's unfortunate, and i'm upset beyond belief. but... at least she was happy."

"what was she to you?"

"my fiancé," he chuckles sadly.

"you have our condolences. if you need anything, please come to us," kuroo says, "your name is...?"

"daichi sawamura. i'll remember that," he smiles at them. "you keep up the good work. i hope you'll succeed soon."

4-4-2029

akaashi stops by the kuroo-oikawa household that wednesday, bringing over some groceries oikawa asked him to bring. he hasn't been over in weeks, seeing as kuroo's been busy and oikawa's mostly been tending to his insecurities, so they decided it's time to meet up again.

"hey keiji!" oikawa grins as he opens the door for him, "how are you?"

"i'm doing okay. how're you holding up?" he smiles in return.

"nothing to complain about," the brunet shrugs, "just glad tetsu-chan's doing okay again."

"yeah, how is he?" akaashi asks, closing the door behind him and following oikawa to the small kitchen.

"he took it very roughly," oikawa sighs quietly. "but he's been doing okay the past few days. he's gone to the gym with koutarou now, so at least he's, y'know, out."

"the girl passed away?"

"under his watch," oikawa says gloomily, "are those the groceries?"

"the mackerel's fresh from the fish market."

"you're a dear, keiji," oikawa says thankfully, "he needs his comfort food."

"anything for you two, you know that," he chuckles.

"how's yuuji?"

"yuuji's good. we're great. we're thinking about adopting sometime soon."

oikawa gasps, "really?! that's awesome!"

"yeah," he smiles shyly, "yuuji really wants a little one around the house. and honestly, i want to see him as a father. he has this way with people... i couldn't wish for a better partner."

"so, is a wedding on the way too?"

"not sure about that. we don't have the money, because we just bought the house. but i don't need to, anyway. we're happy like this."

"things really are turning out for the best, aren't they," oikawa chuckles, "i'm so happy for you."

"are you and tetsurou thinking about any changes soon?"

"moving out isn't an option. too much stress. and kids... i doubt those lie in our future."

"why?"

"i can't do anything out of the house, and tetsurou has work," he shrugs, "it's just too stressful to attempt."

"i think a new addition could potentially cheer him up," akaashi shrugs. "hey, have you ever thought about a pet?"

"hmm?"

"tetsurou adores animals. he's a cat person, but he loves dogs too. he loves anything. it could change a lot, you know. in a therapeutic way."

"keiji, you're a genius."

9-4-2029

"tooru, i'm home," kuroo says as he enters, replacing his shoes with slippers after closing the door behind him. silence follows.

"tooru?"

no reply.

kuroo's heart skips a beat. "tooru? where are you?" he walks towards the living room, which was empty.

"holy shit," kuroo breathes, "tooru, where are you?!" he runs to the bedroom, and opens the door. upon opening it, he jumps out of his skin.

"tooru, what the fuck?!" he exclaims, "i had a fucking heart attack! and you're here playing with a..." he stops talking, looking at the black ball of fur. "holy shit. is that..?"

"it's a kitten!" oikawa grins, holding it up for him to see, "isn't she cute?"

kuroo stares at him, wide-eyed, mouth open, before walking over and taking the small creature in to his own hands. "why do we have a kitten in our apartment?" he breathes, gently examining her.

"eh... surprise?"

"you didn't!"

"i did," he laughs. "keiji suggested it. we talked about our futures, and since we probably will never be able to adopt, and our apartment is too small for a dog or anything, i decided we should get a kitten."

kuroo looks up at him. "you got us a kitten?"

"yeah. well, mostly i got you a kitten. but us, yeah." he smiles softly. "pets help with certain depressions. i think she could help you a little."

"you got me a kitten?"

"yes, tetsu, i got you a kitten."

"wow, tooru, i—" he says, unable to process it all, "thank you, oh my god, thank you so much. are you sure this is okay? should we be in charge of a living thing?"

"you? definitely," oikawa grins, "you're the best guy for the job."

"this is the best day of my life."

"our wedding day?"

"this is the second best day of my life."

28-5-2030

"american doctors performed the same surgery," kuroo announces as he plays with mirai, their not-so-little not-so-kitten.

"and you're saying?"

"that i can't stop you from deciding to undergo it," kuroo shrugs, averting his eyes.

"i'm only undergoing it if you're my doctor," oikawa says firmly, forcing him to make eye contact, "so as long as you refuse to do it, that's it."

"tooru, that's idiotic."

"there's nobody i'd trust more than you," oikawa shrugs, "so i'm not letting this happen without you by my side."

"if you die, i'll never be able to face myself again."

"i'm not going to die," oikawa says, "why can't you accept that? i'm almost thirty-two, living with a rare case of a rare disease, and never did i come close to death but twice, at birth and when i had a stroke." he pulls his collar down to reveal multiple scars, all close together. "see those? this isn't my first surgery. i'm not gonna die."

kuroo sighs, running a hand through his hair. "i'm scared my nervousness will influence, well, anything."

"i trust you. do you trust me?"

"of course."

"will you trust me on this?"

kuroo looks away. "fine."

"really?"

"i'm going to do my best."