Oliver laid on the floor next to his bed, headphones blasting dubstep. With every song that played in his shuffled playlist he was probably losing his hearing, but he didn't care. He needed to stop thinking.

Whenever he closed his eyes, Fukase's face instantly came to mind, desperation and heartbreak carved into his features like they'd stay there forever.

Oliver rubbed his eyes and stared at the ceiling fan making lazy circles above.

Why was Kase like that?

Why was everyone like that?

Just because they'd been dating for more than a year didn't mean they were going to spend their entire lives together! He rolled over and slapped the carpet. Fukase was stupid for ever thinking that. Just like that girl he had dated before. What has her name? Rin? He kissed her once and she practically started making wedding plans. No thank you.

Fukase had to think about his own life. His own future. Spending his life with the wrong person could ruin it.

Yohio came to mind. When he found out Oliver was dating Fukase, he told Oliver, "Don't go breaking his heart now, you hear me? I can tell he's sincere, so don't take advantage of that."

Did this count as breaking Fukase's heart?

Oliver blew out a puff of air. No it didn't. Kase was just stupid.

The fan continued circling above.

He sat up. Yes it did.

His thoughts turned back to Yohio. What was he gonna do when he found out? Would he be mad? Would he not care? Would he be so disappointed that he stops speaking to Oliver altogether until he and Fukase make up?

Oliver shook his head. Okay, that was a little extreme. Yohio wouldn't care that much.

His parents, on the other hand, didn't know about any of this.

He'd just keep smiling around them. He never told than anything anyway. That way, they'd never worry about him. He'd continue to face and fix all his problems alone, like usual.

Though he'd never admit it, a tiny part of him wanted to tell them everything and make them pay attention to him for once, but that was a terrible idea.

Picking up his phone, Oliver opened he messaging app. There was Fukase's contact, right underneath Flower's. He remembered wanting to put a heart emoji next to Fukase's name once.

He didn't, though.

Now he wondered whether or not to delete it. He couldn't stay friends with Fukase after this. No way. He wouldn't be able to continue things as normal friends and have to see Kase's broken expression every time he looked at him.

Why did he look so heartbroken anyway?

He could always meet someone new. Someone better than Oliver. Someone who would actually love him back with as much or even more love as he did them.

Oliver scrolled down the contact list. At the bottom was Yuki. He couldn't help a small smile, and selected her name. A blank message popped up, and he set his thumbs to type, but nothing came to mind to say. Nothing that wasn't about Fukase, anyway. He closed the app and turned off his phone, leaning against the side of his bed.

Fukase had to be crazy. If he was in Fukase's shoes, Oliver would have accepted the scholarship and begin getting ready to leave the city without a second thought. The way Fukase explained it, it was basically a full ride through college. It was the perfect thing to do to help his family.

Family came first. Always.

But to Fukase, Oliver came first.

He felt sick just thinking about it. There had to be something Fukase got out of their relationship. Something worth destroying a path to a future he would be so successful at. But what was it?

He thought about all the things Fukase had done for him. The food from the café brought to him at school, the keychains he was given seemingly every month to add to his collection, all the time Fukase spent helping him with math homework and celebrating with ice cream when he got a good test score.

What did Oliver give back to him?

Fukase always paid when they went ice skating, or out to eat, or to the movies. He always tried to help Oliver with everything, from proofreading essays for class to picking nice combinations of clothes to wear. He never missed a single choir performance of Oliver's and even brought him flowers after.

But what did Oliver give back? What did Fukase get out of it?

They just... hung out together.

Oliver strained his mind thinking, even turning down his music. What did he give to Fukase? There had to be something other than his company.

He couldn't think of one thing.

Against his better judgment, he typed out a text message to Fukase.

...

Why did you like me so much?

He stared at it for a minute. Another minute. The song ended and another one began.

Send.

He instantly regretted it.

No no no! Why did he do that?! Sending a text right after their fight and consequent breakup was most definitely not a good idea! What was Fukase going to think of him? Oh God, there was nothing to do but wait.

And he sat there, a strange feeling of guilt and impatience stirring in his gut. Why was he thinking so obsessively? He had never thought this hard about their relationship when they had it. It was just a casual thing to him. Sure, he called Fukase his boyfriend, but... he was never serious about it.

Fukase was just a friend.

Oliver took off his headphones and sat up as he realized.

Kase was just a friend.

That's all Fukase ever was to him. A really good friend...

Who just happened to swing the same way. Who just happened to be as lonely as him. Who just happened to know what it was like to look different from other people and be desperate for any kind of affection because of it.

It was never love.

Why did he ever think it was?

His phone dinged. Fukase. Oliver grabbed it so fast, the phone slipped out of his fingers and hit the floor. He picked it up again, this time more cautiously, and opened Fukase's message.

...

I'm sorry.

Oliver sat there, weighing the consequences of replying.

This would get him nowhere.

He stood, and noticed he still had one of Fukase's hats he had borrowed on his desk. Picking it up, he tossed into into the trash.

He deleted Fukase from his contacts.

It was time to move on.