Chapter 14 - "The Longford Hotel..."

Clara's PoV

'The Longford hotel? Are you serious? Isn't that the cheapest place in London? It's not a very nice area Clara' Lilly scolded on the train.

'I know. But I have to find him Lil. Either to persuade him or at least say goodbye. He can't just leave like that'

'Clara I think you might just need to let him go. Say goodbye without seeing him'

'No offence lil. But I'm going to that hotel to find him, if you come or not it's up to you. But I have to say goodbye. I know he'll be back for the wedding but it's just not the same'

Lilly sighed knowing she wasn't going to win this one. I could be very stubborn when I wanted to be.

- - -

We gave Amy the day off meaning we could be alone and that I had to live up my half of the promise.

Lilly dragged me from shop to shop, meanwhile I thought of a the crazy things that John could be up to eight now.

What if he didn't come back for the wedding? What if he didn't come back at all? What if he had already left. Then some truths about what he had said started to sink in.

If people found out that I had slept with someone who was paid to have sex - even though I didn't - it would get out in the papers.

If they found out that he has a child that he abandoned for years and that for out, who knows what this would do To my reputation? But John had a pull on me that made none of those things actually matter.

I was happy to be with him as long as I was with him. I don't care about any stories or back load of crap.

After dinner Lilly finally agreed to let us go to this hotel.

I knew money was the only way I was going to get to his room, so money was the way it was going to have to be.

'Alright love? Ya lookin a bit fancy to be rand these parts. Ya lost?' A man asked at the reception.

I was a little cringed out by him. But knew I had to talk to him in order to get to who I want. He was tall with hardly any teeth. I knew that this was the rough part of London, but even still, they could have some class.

'I'm just looking for someone under the name of Mr Smith. I believe he's staying?'

'Hmm. Maybe. What's it to ya?'

'What's your price?'

'I think you know sweetheart'

I cringed internally again, but heard a voice behind me. 'Clara. Isn't that Mr Smith?' Lilly said.

I turned around to see Mr Smith in everyday clothes. He looked like he had been for a run of some description, but I have to say that he looks even more attractive out of the suit.

'Lady Clara? How did you find me? He asked.

'Dad told me you were staying in London. And I figured I would come and find you. Even if it was just to say goodbye' I whispered.

'Clara. There's too many prying eyes. We should go somewhere private' Lilly said.

'Pavilion hotel. Floor 7 room 6. Meet me in the lobby at 9?'

- - -

'Clara I don't want this to be goodbye but it has to be. We can't do this. Me leaving is the best way' he said. 'You don't love me. Your just looking for a way to ruin your fathers life' he said coldly.

I was hoping he was playing the try and be horrible, then you'll stay away from me card. But I was trying not to let it get to me.

'You don't mean that John. I do love you really I do. You can't choose love. Love chooses you'

'Your secrets safe with me Clara. I'm not going to tell anyone I was with you and I don't want your money. Please it's just best if we stay away from each other. And me leaving makes that easier' he said standing up.

I had I visioned spending the night with him. Snuggling up in my room and kissing until dawn broke, letting him jump the window again, before running back home go tell all to my father.

Turns out that wasn't going to be the case, when I purchased that largest bottle of whisky I could find and collapsed in Lilly's hotel room passing out on the bed almost instantly.

- - -

'Mr Smith Correct? I've never really gotten to know you, never had the need I guess. Your a footman and I'm a Lady. But you can't leave Clara like that'

'If you'll mind my asking my Lady, what business of that is yours?'

'Anything that's got Clara so upset is business of mine. Your coming back to the wedding correct? On request of her father. Don't leave her in ruins like that'

'Why does no one understand? Of course she loves me. And I love her. I can see it every day. I lied to her to get her to love her life the way she should. You don't know me. And my past as well as my status in society will drag her and everyone around her down with it. Forgive me for taking such harsh tones my Lady. But I can't'

'You are however a good friend of my Fiancée correct?'

'We fought in the war together yes' John sighed.

'Then you will be at the wedding on accounts of not letting him down... Correct?'

'Correct'

'Then I look forward to seeing you there. And for the record. As much as I don't agree with what your doing with Clara. The feelings she has for you and her separation for you to marry her and no one else... I will back you all the way. And in sure my to be husband wi also. Just something to think about'