Chapter 12 - "Leave and Distance for Love..."

Clara's PoV

It wasn't too shocking that Lilly thought I was a fool and agreed with my Father.

She told me I should end it at once, but I wasn't going to do that. We all knew that.

Her included.

But she did promise to keep it a secret and that she wouldn't tell anyone until or unless she really had too. Which I'm hoping would be never.

'So Clara. I've been thinking about inviting three more men in to meet you before the wedding. Your Uncle James has found a couple of possible suitors. Especially since he found Lilly, Richard' Dad said.

I mumbled incoherently.

'I'll have some tea in the library. Oh and if you could hang my coat on the wall. I'll be going out after lunch' Dad asked Rory.

'Whys Rory doing John's job? Why is he being the footman as well?'

'Mr Smith has taken some leave. He has some urgent family matters to deal with' Dad said making me feel sad and guilty.

I hope he was coming back.

I excused myself from breakfast and ran down the stairs to see the cooks and maids, hoping to bump into Mr Smith before he leaves.

Luck wasn't with me because he wasn't there.

I was planning on asking someone to assist me down to the farm, but seeing as nobody other than John and the farmer knew the way, I put my boots on and went myself.

'Where are you off too Miss Clara?' Rose asked.

'Just going for a walk. Maybe even head down to the stables' I shrugged, not necessarily lying because I probably would end up in all those places.

'Would you like some company? I can ask a servant to assist you out' Rory said.

'No. I'm just fine thanks' I smiled, taking off onto the land and out towards the gate.

I jumped the gate as I normally would seeing as Mr Smith would have the key, and trudged through the mud towards the farm.

It was quite a bleak and dark day for the beginning of August. I just hoped that it wasn't going to be like this in a weeks time for the wedding, Lilly's been so looking forward to it.

I realised that I should have bought an umbrella when it started to rain, but shrugged the rain off looking towards the farm and found the gate. I knew there was a shed there which was fully stocked with supplies so I could warm up.

I jumped onto the wooden gate, and climbed over, but lost my footing somewhere as I jumped down.

I slipped and hit my head on the gate, and man did it hurt. I landed in the mud and was going to move but even to this day the sight of my own blood makes me feel a little queasy, making me pass out in the cold rain.

- - -

'It's almost Tea time. Has anyone seen Clara today?'

Lilly panicked internally that maybe she has run off with Mr Smith and wasn't planning to look back, but it didn't escape her notice that she went downstairs earlier.

'I bet Mr Williams knows' she piped up, making her father venture down stairs to the kitchen where he had never been.

The waiting and kitchen staff were settling down for their supper before upstairs, when Mr Oswald walked in. 'Sit down please' he muttered. 'Has anyone seen or heard from Clara today? I'm sure she's fine it's just I haven't seen her since breakfast'

'She was going for a walk of the grounds. Said something about the stable and fresh air? That was well early this morning' Rose said.

'And nobody else has seen her?'

'Well check the stables sir. Send a couple of Servants out to search' Mr Williams said. 'I'll go myself also. Mr Smith check the lands'

'Mr Smith. I thought you were on leave?'

'I am sir. Train leaves at 9 tonight' John said.

'Will you help look for her?'

Mr Smith nodded knowing he wouldn't stop ripping the world apart to find Clara. 'I'll check the farms. And the land on the way' he nodded.

- - -

'You really are a silly child sometimes' someone said really close to me. I felt myself being lifted up and a jacket wrapping around my body. 'What were you thinking coming down to the farm alone?' He muttered.

'I wanted to find you? But Dad said you were on leave'

'I am. I have some family matters to deal with. That wasn't a lie. I leave tonight and won't be back until the wedding'

'That's two weeks away. That's almost two weeks where I won't see you' I muttered.

'Miss Clara your freezing, bleeding and delirious, we need to get you back to the main house' he sighed, placing a hand on my cheek. 'Your fathers going to go crazy. He's got everyone out on search for you'

'What time is it?'

'Dinner. You've been out here all day yes?'

'Yeah. I guess I slipped on the rain and fell into the fence. I'm fine though' I admitted, trying to stand but felt John catch me when I couldn't stand straight.

He hoisted me up into his arms and smiled down at me. 'I'm really heavy. You can't carry me the whole way'

'Forget about it. Your safety is more important than my back' he chuckled, moving on through the mud.

'Dad will love you for finding me you know' I pointed out, wincing as my head had started to hurt.

'I'm sure he will. Doesn't dispute the fact that we still can't be together. I'm going away Clara and I don't know for sure that I'm coming back' he admitted.

'Yes you are. We agreed. I'll sort this out. I'll smooth things over with Dad. I will make sure you can stay. Just let us wait until after the wedding and the honeymoon. That's only two months' I begged.

'Clara'

'Please, just promise me that you'll come back for the wedding at least. Please?' I asked.

He winced a little at my begging but did promise.