Danny

Staring at the multicolored ribbon screensaver flickering on the white screens where they project the hymn lyrics during church, I let out a huff.  "Man, they are taking for-ev-er."

"She's on her way, Mini-Prince," Cousin Roxie coos.  "Last time your mom texted me, she said she was about ten minutes away - and that was nine minutes ago.  So, she should be here any second."

Yeah, any second, except for this one, I mutter in my mind. 

My stomach rumbles a little, reminding me that I still haven't eaten anything except three gingerbread men and a big glass of milk three hours ago.  Trying not to sigh too heavily, I slide the yo-yo up and down on its string one more time, then stick it back into my backpack.  While I'm doing this, I check my phone again.  I see one more message from Lauren, which I leave unread like the others. But Mom hasn't texted me since the last message she sent, asking me why I was trying to kill her.  I wasn't, of course, I just wanted to know if we had really and truly surprised her. 

It was so much fun, setting up the trap for Mom.  Freddie and Mr. Burdon were the ones who did most of the scheming, true.  But they still listened to me, and directly asked me if I had any ideas of my own. Freddie even took my idea about telling Mom that there was a big church party at the Tavern, saying it was probably more believable than anything else we could have come up with.

Dr. Preus has never done that, ever.  Listen to me, I mean. I seriously think that guy pretends that I'm not even there unless Mom is around, like I'm her imaginary friend or something.

But my favorite part of the whole project happened right before Freddie left.  He was just pulling on his white jacket, while all three of us were running through it one last time.  When we finished, he looked at the floor with this nervous expression, his mouth twitching the way it does sometimes.

"Right, then, here's hoping we don't overplay our hand here," he murmured quietly. 

Mr. Burdon just nodded, but that didn't seem to help Freddie very much.  So I said, "Shinpaishinaide."

All that basically means in Japanese is "No worries" - Ms. Yamaguchi taught me that phrase because music from The Lion King was playing over the class speakers that day- so I might as well have just told him "Hakuna matata" and been done with it. 

But if I had, Freddie probably would not have replied, "Arigato, waga tomo yo." 

Then the funny part happened.  I straightened up and halfway bowed before seeing his fist clench for a bump, so I made a fist too only for him to start a bow, so on instinct I put my hands out to stop him, which he slapped like we were playing some weird version of patty cake.  Giggling, I asked him what the heck he was doing, but he only pinched my nose again, and just laughed when I rubbed my face to make it stop itching.  I know Freddie was just playing with me, so I don't really mind too much- but man, it tickles like crazy when he does that.

Hey, tell me something.  Why is it that Mom leaves a great guy like Freddie after just two weeks, but she dates boring ol' baggy-eyed Dr. Preus for three plus years?

I mean, as nice as it is to watch them together (when they're not mad at each other, that is), I still can't believe that Freddie and Mom were literally boyfriend and girlfriend once.  He said that they were only technically lovers, whatever that's supposed to mean- but I'm not stupid.  I know how it works.  They wouldn't even be called "lovers", if there wasn't love and all that stuff involved between them at some point, so it still counts. 

Not only that- but Freddie's still in love with her.  He said so.  And to me, that's the part that makes the least sense, because if the two of them were lovers, why didn't they stick together?  That's what happens in the movies, and in the books.  The good ones, anyway.  I mean, Neo ended up with Trinity in The Matrix, Rick stayed with Eve in The Mummy, Dean and Annie from The Iron Giant- well, you get the idea. 

Maybe Mom just wanted to be friends, and Freddie didn't, I think to myself. Or maybe she really liked Freddie, but she didn't want to cheat on Dad, because she was so in love with him, or something. I don't know.

For a moment I almost text Lauren and ask her what she thinks.  She knows more about the whole romance business than I do.  But I don't.  I'm not really mad at her anymore, but I told myself I wouldn't talk to her till tomorrow, and I'd rather hear from Uncle John or Mom than her right now anyway.

That second one I thought of seems believable.  After all, Mom loves Dad like crazy- way more than she loves Stuart, that's for sure.  And I guess it's sort of true that she probably would never have met my father if she hadn't come back home.  But Dad's gone now, he's been gone for years.  And it doesn't look like he's ever coming back.  And as sad as it makes me to say that, and as wrong as I would like to be, it's probably true.

And pretty soon, Freddie's going to leave us too.  He needs to go cut the cake. 

Feeling angry and helpless, I kick my backpack.  It's just not fair. 

I'm not the only one who's going to miss him, though.  As much as she says she still loves Dad, and only Dad, Mom looked awfully unhappy this afternoon, when I told her Freddie had left.  In fact, while she was driving me up to church, she wouldn't turn on the music.  Even when I asked to so much as turn on the radio, she said no.  That kind of scared me, to be honest, because Mom always listens to music while she's driving, and usually even sings along, no matter what she's feeling or what she's thinking about.  She always tells me that music calms her down, eases her mind.  And I believe her, because it does the same thing to me.  So she must have been really upset, to not even try to cheer herself up.

She likes him, that's for sure, I tell myself.  I don't know if she loves him, but liking is pretty good too.  You can turn liking into love.  They say that happens all the time.

But for that to happen with them, would only be possible if our great big plan worked.  And I have absolutely no clue whether it did, because nobody's telling me anything- and that's very rude of them.  If Freddie and I are "dear friends," like he said, he would tell me what's going on.  Call me nosy, call me curious, I don't fu- whoa, I almost did it again- I don't frickin' care. I need to know. 

Pushing my glasses further up my nose, I pull that little note Freddie left by the nine red roses out of my pocket again, wondering what the other lines under the "te o toriatte" part mean. Under my breath I try to sing how I think the Japanese words fit in with tune of "Let Us Cling Together," but it keeps falling apart. I sure wish Mom had sung me both versions, the English and Japanese, when I was younger, so I would know for sure.  It could be she forgot, but I still wish.  Maybe I can get Freddie to sing that version for me after they come and get me.

"If they come and get me," I correct myself, pouting.

And then a second later, I almost throw up.  I've just had the most horrible idea.

What if Freddie's gone already?

What if they were still really mad at each other in the end, and Mom drove all the way back to Princeton to send him back to 1985?  They keep on saying that there's a team waiting around the clock to get him home.  And he's already said goodbye to me, sort of, so they might have thought I didn't need to be there to see him off. 

Somehow that's really easy to see happening.  It certainly would make Dr. Preus happy- and Mom always tries to make sure that he is.  My heart thumps faster, and the big sanctuary itself starts twirling around and around in front of me-

"Oop!  She's here," Cousin Roxie announces, waving her phone around.  "Just got the text-"

But I'm already out of the pews and racing for the exit before she can finish.  Like a battering ram I burst through the double doors, looking around wildly before there, by the front entrance, I see the skirt of a long red dress.  Mom has her back to me, facing someone who's standing very, very close- someone a little taller than her, with short black hair. 

I almost whoop with joy.  Freddie's still here!

"Where were you guys?" I cry, throwing my arms up in the air as I run to them, though a bit awkwardly thanks to my backpack hanging off of one shoulder.  "What took you guys so long?  What's-"

But then I stop in my tracks.  As loud as I sounded, I don't think they heard me.  Not from the way they're acting. 

They look like they've been standing in the cold for hours. I guess it's snowing outside, because Freddie's brushing little wet flakes off Mom's shoulders and out of her hair- which is kind of a mess, almost like it looks when she washes it and lets it air-dry without combing it first.  His doesn't seem much better off, though; as short as his hair is, it's begun to curl around the edges, which Mom is making even worse by running her fingers through it.  They're staring at each other like always, but it's not an awkward stare this time, or a sad one.  Just like this morning, my heart flutters again.

And then Cousin Roxie prances in and spoils everything.  "Julia!" she calls out. 

Mom and Freddie snap out of it, turning our way.  "Oh, uh, hello, Roxie," she chuckles kind of awkwardly.  

"Hello, dear, and- Rick, right?  Oh, it's so good to see you again!" she croons, putting her hand out for him to shake- but when he does, she yelps.  "Oh, you poor thing, your hands are like icicles."

"Sorry," Freddie mumbles as he lets go, but his eyes are on mine- and I worry what happened with them all over again.  He's giving me such a weird look right now, so weird it makes me uncomfortable.  My gaze drops down to the floor, and that's when I notice.

"Mom, where are your shoes?" I ask.

"I left them at the restaurant," she replies, as though it's the most normal thing in the world to do.

Roxie squints.  "Have you just been walking around barefoot this whole time?"

"Mm-hm."  Mom shrugs like she doesn't really think it's a big deal.  "There's worse things to lose, though."

"True.  You know, one time I was in such a hurry to leave that I actually ran outside without putting my shirt on?"

"Oh, wow.  Nobody saw though, right?"

My cousin twiddles with her ruby ring, deep in thought.  "Well- let's just say enough people saw to make an impression, you know?"

"Oh, you poor thing," Mom chuckles sympathetically.  "When did this happen?"

Rapidly I lose interest; I'm in no mood for some random family story.  While the women keep jabbering, I notice that Freddie has kind of edged himself away from the group, slinking a little closer to the door.  I guess Roxie is annoying him again.  Even though he's met her before, he must not like her very much, as he doesn't really even talk to her if he can help it- and when he does, it's always in that deep Agent Smith voice. 

However, I know for a fact that Freddie likes me, so I creep on over to where he is, sneak up quietly behind him and whisper, "Konnichiwa."

Very slowly Freddie turns around.  Since I can think of nothing else to say right off, I just smile at him while silently I pray one more time what I've been praying all throughout rehearsal: Please, God, don't let them be mad at each other anymore.

After a minute he leans down, gets closer to my level so I can see his expression isn't quite so weird anymore- but oh, man, is it sad. He's not even smiling, which makes it much harder for me to hold my own. But I try.

"So?" I whisper.  "Did it work?"

Freddie just blinks at me.  "Did what work?"

"The plan!  You know!  Are you guys, uh- are you guys okay?"

He doesn't answer right away.  He just keeps staring at me so intently, almost like he's searching for something in my face.  Just like before, I look down- to see that his shoes are missing too.

And again, it must be asked, "Did you guys both leave your shoes there?"

"Mm?  Oh, no, no, I, um-" all of a sudden he giggles- "I took them off because she wasn't wearing hers, and I didn't want her to, uh- sort of suffer alone, I suppose."

I squint at him.  You and Mom are the absolute weirdest people ever, no joke.

He must be able to read my mind, because he lifts his chin and scoffs, "Well, after all, you did ask me, Danny."

"Yeah, I just don't get it."

"You will.  Someday, you'll understand."

"Um, no, I don't think so."

Freddie shakes his head, grinning while I let myself laugh, although a bit nervously because he still hasn't answered me.  I almost ask him again- but before I can, he just throws his arms around my back and hugs me to him so tightly it almost hurts to breathe.  I put my arms around him too, even though his coat is pretty wet and chilly from him being outside so long.  He even shivers a little.

"Thank you," Freddie whispers at last.  "Thank you for your help."

I gasp.  "So it's- you guys are good again?"

"Yeah, we're all right," he nods, pulling away with a little sniff.  "It's good at the moment, and, uh- I think it's to the point where it will stay good as well."

"Really?"

"Mm."  He smiles again, but it's kind of a weak, trembling smile.  He lifts a hand, and I immediately cover my face so he can't pinch my nose- but that's not what he does.  Instead, very gently, he brushes my bangs off my forehead.

And I just look at him.  Freddie's never done that before, no one ever has except for Mom and Uncle John- and I don't know what to think.  I really hope he's not just saying all this happy stuff to make me feel better.  I mean, if it's good right now, why does he look so sad?

Danny, stop being a worrywart, and just believe the guy, okay? Shinpaishinaide yourself!

Roxie must have left, because it's here that Mom tiptoes over, clears her throat.  "Uh- so, you guys ready to head out?"

"Oh, yes," Freddie coughs, standing back up again and lowering his eyes. 

"So what are we doing?  Are we heading home first, or, um..." She trails off, as though she can't even speak the words, "Princeton first."  I don't blame her, because neither can I.

Before anyone can answer, I cut in with a third option.  "Mom, can we stop at White Castle first?  I'm starving."

"I thought you said you ate before we left," Mom frowns.

"I did, but it was just- cookies.  And we haven't been to White Castle at all in a long time, can we?"  I can eat at home, I know, as I should have before- but I have to stall this.  I have to.

Freddie looks at Mom.  "How far out of the way is this- White Castle?"

"It's on our way home," she replies.

He nods thoughtfully.  "Right, and how far out of the way is Princeton?"

"It's thirty minutes or so from the house, in the other direction."

Freddie shrugs like he doesn't really care- but if he didn't, then he wouldn't have said what he says next: "I mean, the boy's hungry, I don't see why we shouldn't.  And as for the university, it is terribly late- and with the weather the way it is, I'd say it's much safer for us to simply sort of wait, and take care of it in the morning."

My eyes widen.  He wants to stay another night.  Things ARE good!

Mom is just as surprised as I am.  Her eyes are big and soft as they look him over.  "Are you sure, Freddie?"

"Quite. To be honest, I'm knackered as it is, I'd rather just, uh- you know, I can wait a little longer.  Can you?"

"Of course I can," she murmurs, taking his cold hand- and gasping.  "Oh, my God, Roxie's right.  Here."  Without another word, Mom grabs both his hands and rubs hers vigorously all over his, blowing gently on them at intervals.  And he just stands there and lets her, smiling as he watches.

I have to smile, too, thoughts drifting back to the "family crest" I drew in art class. Maybe, if Mom fell in love with him again, the way he says he's still in love with her, she might ask him to stay here, with us. Half of me knows that he'd probably refuse, but I still wish she would ask, because the other half believes there's a teeny weeny chance he might say yes. Freddie would make the best stepdad.

Before we walk out the door, though, I have a silly idea.  I run over to the wall where a few chairs are and plop down onto one of them.

"Danny, what on Earth-?" Mom cuts herself off and somehow flies halfway across the room when she sees my left shoe come off.  All Freddie does is burst out laughing.

But Mom is not nearly as amused.  "Sweetie, it's below freezing out there- and snowing!  Put your shoes back on!"

"You guys aren't wearing any shoes, though," I protest. 

"You did start this after all, darling," Freddie chimes in.

"I left mine behind on accident, you two are just taking them off to do it!"

That doesn't bother Freddie. "The principle may be different, dear, but the outcome is the same."

Mom just rubs the corners of her eyes.  "Monkey see, monkey do," she sighs.  "All right, stubborn, if you really want frozen toes, go for it.  But you're going to be smarter about it than your mom, and not leave your shoes here."

"Yes, ma'am."  I've got both my shoes and socks off now.  "Okay, ready!"

"Unbelievable," she mutters, but she's smiling as Freddie takes her hand again, and out the door we go, heading for the car.

To be honest, I regret ever taking off my shoes as soon as my feet hit the concrete- but I'll die before I let them know that.  I can be tough, too.  We're keeping Freddie one more night; I can be anything.