Freddie

The voice that finally greeted me on the other end sounded scrumptiously perplexed. "Freddie! You're back?"

"With a vengeance," I boomed, shaking my head at Danny when he offered me a gingerbread man. "And what can I do for you?"

He ignored the question. "How do you have Julia's phone?"

"I stole it, of course. Broke the first one, stole the other."

"You what?"

"Oh, it's quite true, you know. I'm such a lawless little tart."

"Yeah, I'll go with that," he said dryly, at last realizing that I was pulling his leg. "Where are you now?"

"I'm wherever you want me to be, dear," I purred as seductively as I could- not as easy as you might think, certainly not when I hated the man on the other end with a passion comparable to my feelings for those blood-sucking motherfuckers known the world over as the "press." I was still a little raw, after all, from my latest brush with them anyway, making the act that much more difficult.

Of course, Stuart hadn't any idea what I'd been up to- but he was not amused just the same. "I'd really prefer you be a little more cooperative, Freddie, for your own good. Just saying. Now. Where are you?"

I smirked to myself. "Who wants to know?"

Giggling, Danny poured himself a tall glass of milk and tiptoed closer to listen. Even he could tell that dear Gertrude was losing his cool. "Okay, if you're really going to keep acting like a prick, that's fine. I was calling to speak with Jules anyway, is she anywhere around?"

As if on cue, Julia called through the bedroom door, "Who is it, Freddie?" When I told her, she hesitated, then requested, very meekly, "Tell him I'll be right out, please."

So I did, sort of. "She's indisposed at the moment. Can I take a message?"

"No, thanks. I'll wait."

"Right," I grumbled. "She may be quite a while though."

"I've got time."

I rolled my eyes. "Very well." This was followed by an awkward silence that neither of us enjoyed- well, at least not until Julia started singing.

Since the record had stopped playing some minutes before, I could hear her softly crooning some very familiar lyrics- and from my solo album, no less: "Made in heaven, made in heaven... It was all meant to be..."

It was strange to hear anyone besides myself singing that song, especially since (for me, that is) the song had barely been out for any time. Even more peculiar was Julia's tone; she sounded so defeated. Beautiful, too, of course, but still tragic, almost as though she was simultaneously singing and choking back a wave of tears. On reflex I took a few steps toward the bedroom to see what was the matter- and whether I could perhaps comfort her in some way. Unlikely, considering how I had basically fucked up every attempt before this; all the same, I wanted to try.

But then Stuart's voice cut in again, "While we're waiting, I guess I might as well tell you."

"Oh, do," I replied, rubbing my eyes. "Tell me what?"

He smiled into his words. "Speck is fully repaired, ready to go."

I blinked. "It is? You are?"

"Just say the word and you're out of here, and headed back to Munich to finish that party."

"Are you really?" I said calmly. "Well, that's wonderful. Congratulations." Odd, how hearing this didn't immediately send adrenaline rushes to my brain, start me bouncing off the walls and the ceiling while I whooped and shouted with joy. I still wanted to go home, of course; I suppose I just wasn't as desperate to leave as I was in the beginning, is all.

"If you want, I can have a squad over there in less than half an hour," he offered. "That way you won't have to waste a whole other twelve to twenty-four hours hanging around here."

"Mm," was all I said. My eyes drifted toward Danny, who silently bit off the leg of one of his gingerbread men and sipped from his glass. When he lowered it, there was a slight milk mustache along his lip; I gestured toward it. His eyes widened, then he quickly wiped his face on his sleeve, cheeks flushing a little.

"So how does that strike you?" Stuart asked.

I sighed. "I don't know, it is rather late- what's more I'm quite knackered."

"It's only half past nine," he pressed. "I was under the impression you could stay up all hours of the night and barely even get circles under your eyes."

"Well, I don't know who you've been talking to, but-"

"No one, this is just stuff I've read."

"Look, I was told that I was scheduled to return tomorrow, I think it's best to sort of stick to the plan, wouldn't you say?"

A pause. Then: "Let me speak to Julia."

"I told you, she's indisposed."

"What's she doing?"

"Good Lord, you're a nosy chap, aren't you?"

"Answer me," he said coldly.

For the boy's sake, I gritted my teeth, fought back the words I wanted oh, so badly to say- that is, "I will when I'm good and ready to, you twat." Unfortunately, before I could spit out even a censored version of the same sentence, Julia quit singing to herself and opened the door. Out she came.

As much as Gertrude was driving me mad, I had to smile when I saw her step into view. She was dressed in a respectable lavender nightgown, with her hair down and falling softly past the frilly, scoop-necked collar. And even now, as cold a night as it promised to be, her feet were bare. Before I could force my thoughts in other directions, I heard myself think, What a lovely creature.

She didn't see me watching her, though; she seemed almost to be in a hurry, almost like she was avoiding me as she scurried toward the stairs.

And then Stuart demanded, "Freddie, tell me what she's doing or so help me I will find you this very night and-"

"Dear, would you cool it?" I answered finally. "She's right here."

Julia stopped, looked back.

"Here where?"

"Here in front of me- and looking quite radiant, I might add," I said, tossing a little wink her way- to which she merely responded by lowering her eyes. "She was just dressing for bed."

"Wait. You guys are home?"

I blinked. "Yes. What of it?"

"Just give her the phone, okay? Please? Thank you."

Under normal circumstances I would have done no such thing, but Julia moved too quickly. Keeping her face turned somewhat away from me, she hurried over, palm turned up.

"It's okay, Freddie, I'll take it," she said softly.

"Are you all right, dear?"

"I'm great, now please hand me the phone."

I hesitated, then laid Stuart's voice into her open hand. Very briefly she nodded a thank-you, just barely meeting my eyes before turning away again. Now I knew why she didn't want me to see her in this moment; I saw the red around her brows, and the way her eyes seemed polished, and shone like watery glass.

"Hi, Stu, what's going on?" Julia greeted him. "Yeah, we've been home for some time. We just finished dinner. What are you doing?" A pause. "Oh, okay. Man, you keep long hours, don't you?"

Danny tapped my shoulder. "Hey, Freddie, watch this!"

I was much more interested in straining to make out the tinny, crackling words humming into Julia's ear than watching "this." "One second, Danny."

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"I'm eavesdropping, of course. Shh."

"Mom says that's rude," Danny informed me.

I looked at him, brow arched. "You do it anyway, though, don't you?"

His mouth twitched. "Well- kinda."

"Everyone does, Mr. Phantom, people just don't like to admit it. Don't feel too badly."

"Really?"

"Oh, yes. Even your mum, she's one of the worst."

Danny giggled, but he didn't argue with me. Some son you are, don't defend your own mum, I said to myself, tongue mentally planted in cheek.

At the moment, however, there was nothing to be gleaned from the conversation; she and Stuart were going through the motions at present, small talking each other to death. I sighed, gave in. "All right, what is it?"

He plucked an untouched biscuit from the plate, and held it out toward me.

"This is Dr. Preus," he whispered.

I blinked. "Okay?"

A sly look crossed his face, his mouth curving in an almost mean little smirk. Before my very eyes, Danny shouted at the top of his lungs, "There can be only one!"

And he bit the gingerbread man's head off.

Both myself and Julia stood there, wide-eyed and somewhat concerned about the little kook. Well, she was, anyway; to be honest, I felt quite vindicated.

My God, I marveled to myself. Does Danny hate him too?

He only grinned at me. "Get it?"

I blinked. "Should I?"

"Too soon, Danny," Julia, who was so startled by the outburst she forgot she was still on the phone, told him. "I don't think Queen's been asked to record Highlander's soundtrack yet."

I squinted. "Highlander?"

Julia bowed theatrically. "I rest my case. What?" She raised the phone back up to her ear. "Oh! Right! I'm sorry, Stuart, the boys were fooling around and I got distrac-"

"The boys?" This I could hear from all the way across the kitchen.

"Freddie and Danny, I mean," she corrected herself.

Stuart's reply was much more unintelligible than before, but I could at least make out his point, which seemed to be "So now he's one of the 'boys', is he?"

"Stu, no, just- hang on." Julia lowered the phone and whispered, looking right into my eyes, "I'll be back in a moment."

Then Julia padded on downstairs, where we would not be as great a distraction. Before she drifted further out of earshot, I heard her apologize, "I know, I'm sorry, I just forgot to call and tell you, I got all caught up in cooking dinner and re-configuring this new phone... but you know now, right? Doesn't that count for..."

"When did you guys do Highlander then?" Danny asked me. It was a strain to mask how reluctant I was to leave off eavesdropping for the time being, but I managed.

I shrugged. "How should I know?"

"I bet it's soon," he said decisively. "It's a really cool movie though. All the swords and stuff."

"Better than Star Wars?" I teased.

"Way better."

"Mm," I nodded, looking casually at the remaining biscuit on his plate, then back up at Danny. "So, um- about the box."

He blinked at me. "Uh-huh?"

"You say it's in her room?"

"Mm-hm. Her closet, actually." He took the gingerbread man and bent in him in two, offering me the bottom half. This time, I didn't refuse.

"Thank you." I bit into it. "Is it up on the shelf?"

"Yeah. That one."

"I thought so. That thing nearly killed me the first day, fell off and almost struck me in the head."

"Are you gonna try and look inside it? See the stuff?"

"Are you going to tell your mum if I do?" I asked.

"Nah. Not like you can, anyway." Danny put his plate in the sink.

I frowned. "What do you mean?"

"It's locked," he explained. "There's a key somewhere, Mom hides it- that's the only way you can open it. I don't even know where it is- and I've looked all over."

So many fucking obstacles, I grumbled inwardly. I'm simply curious, Julia, why do you have to make it so damn complicated?

"Either way, don't tell Mom I told you about it, okay?" he whispered.

"Your secret is safe with me, Mr. Phantom- just like your solo."

He grinned. "Thanks."

"You sounded quite good up there, by the way. You have a nice voice."

"No I don't," Danny shook his head, cheeks flushing in embarrassment. "Not on that. I sound all high and squeaky, like a girl."

I rolled my eyes. He truly is his mother's son. "Danny, if they didn't think you couldn't do it and sound good, they wouldn't have given you the part. Wouldn't you agree?"

He shrugged. "I dunno-"

"Yes, you do."

"I do?"

I opened my mouth to answer "yes" once more, but then someone's fist rapped hard at the door. My hair stood on end, my mouth drying up.

"Who's that?" I whispered.

"I'll go see," Danny volunteered cheerfully. He marched toward the front door while I stood there, frozen and frightened. Did Stuart already send a squad to collect me? I wouldn't put it past him. Then again, how would they have arrived so quickly?

When I heard Danny greet the man standing there, however, I didn't know whether to be relieved or worried. "Hi, Mr. Adams!"

"Hey, Danny, is Rick anywhere around?"

"Yeah, he's in the kitchen- well, he was," Danny corrected himself when he saw me walk up from behind.

"Hey, man," he greeted me.

"Good evening," I answered coolly. Although he seemed to be alone at the moment, I remained a bit wary.

Danny craned his neck, squinted against the dark. "Where's Lauren?"

Like a charm, all of a sudden the redheaded girl appeared at her father's side. Breathlessly she chirped, as though she had run all the way here, "Come on, Danny, let's go play Super Smash!"

"Gotta ask Mom first." He turned around and shouted, "Mom, can I go over and play video games with Lauren?"

"You have school tomorrow, Danny," she hollered back after a beat.

"Just a half day, though- and all we're gonna do is sit around and watch Disney movies anyway."

"True, true. All right, fine, be home by eleven- but remember, no GTA!"

Danny rolled his eyes. "Mom, nobody plays GTA anymore!"

"And no Halo!"

"Mom, seriously? That's so old!"

"I'm just saying it to hear myself say it. You know what kinda stuff I'm talking about."

"Yeah, I do."

"All right. Have fun, sweetie!"

Danny bid us all a collective "Oyasumi-nasai" then galloped off at top speed after Lauren as soon as she screamed, "First one there gets to be Lucario!"

When we both were satisfied that the kids were safe and sound next door, Wes came further inside and turned to me, a look of apology in his eyes. "You okay, man?"

"I'm fine," I said. "Why?"

"Look, I didn't know they were going to do that whole thing this evening, I thought it would be a much more controlled, private affair-"

"You mean to say you didn't expect all that- press?"

"I didn't. I knew there would be at least one or two there, I didn't know people were taking this whole thing so seriously. But people- you should have heard on the radio coming back, people are going nuts! There's schmucks out there who actually think you're him reincarnated or something!"

"And a few of them were in that room, I think," I nodded, remembering Miami again. "But- you don't think that?"

"Eh, I got an open mind," he smiled. "But not that open."

I had to laugh. "That's fair. Um- yeah, I don't hold it against you. I just- my God."

"Yeah. Don't worry, it won't happen again."

"Thank you."

I looked at him still standing there, hands in his pockets. He was obviously waiting for some kind of invitation. "Um- would you like a drink?" I offered. "Or was there something else you came about?"

Wes smiled sheepishly. "Well- Julia did say something about having a treat here for us-"

"Oh! The cake. Right this way." I led him further in.

"But I will take you up on that drink, too," he added.

Of course you will, I said to myself dryly. "One moment."

I didn't mind, really; it gave me an excuse to trip downstairs to listen more closely to what she and Stuart were dishing about. I tried not to be too obvious as I came down, but I could tell from the look Julia shot me before turning away again, she knew what I was doing.

"Will you make me one too please?" Julia mouthed.

I nodded. "What would you like?"

"Whatever you're having," she sighed, then answered Stuart's unheard question. "No, no worse an influence than anything else. He's really behaved himself quite well around Danny, aside of an f-bomb or two that slips out, , but Danny hears that stuff at school anyway so-" A pause.

"Send him home? Tonight?" Another pause. "Well- did you ask Freddie what he wanted to do?"

Pause.

"He did- I mean, he does?" Her voice, much to my surprise, lifted a little. She even looked back at me, eyes wide and shining with amazement as if to ask, "Is this true?" All I did was smile at her.

While returning the smile, she replied, "That's fine with me, if that's what he- Stuart, really, it's fine, I don't mind him staying another night. Do you mind?"

Pause. A longer one. I handed her a vodka tonic, from which she took a long, greedy sip after thanking me.

"Stuart, it's not up to me, I'm not the one who's got to make the jump back- I appreciate that, thank you, but-"

Still another pause, full of more insistent babbles.

"What do I want?" she said. "You're asking me what I want him to do?" Her face fell, and that cornered, helpless expression entered her eyes.

She looked at me again. I swallowed hard, awaiting her answer.

And finally, Julia took a deep breath. "I want- whatever he wants. And if he wants to go, let him go. If he wants to stay one more night, let him stay. I know he's caused a lot of mayhem, you're absolutely right, and that is all on me- but Stu, it's late, I'm tired, he's tired, you're tired, let's just all get some sleep tonight and save the worrying about this for tomorrow morning, okay?"

"I'll be upstairs, darling," I said softly, walking toward the staircase. Her face pulled into another smile- but it wasn't her smile. It was gentle, and sweet, granted- but I knew the difference between something relaxed, and something forced. All the same, I was glad for her choice- and from the look on her face a moment ago, it seemed she didn't at all mind mine.

Upon reaching the top floor, I pulled myself together, acted as though nothing had happened. "I'll give it to you, she's on the phone right now."

"Stuart?" he asked.

"Yes. How'd you know?"

"Wild guess."

I lifted the rum cake off the counter, handed it to him. "What do you think of him, Wes?"

"Who? Dr. Preus? I don't know. Seems like a nice, steady guy. Don't know him personally, but- Julia likes him, so he can't be that bad." He looked me over. "What do you think?"

"About the same," I lied.

Wes smiled with closed lips, looking me over. "Are you- attracted to her?"

"Who? Julia?" The question caught me off guard. I felt my cheeks redden a bit. "Uh- why do you ask?"

"I don't know, just- I wouldn't blame you if you are. I am too."

I tried to stifle a wide smile, but I failed horribly. "You are?"

"Just a little. We actually- when she first moved up here, we went on a couple of dates together. She's very nice."

"That she is," I murmured. "What happened?"

"Huh? Oh, nothing, just- she found someone else, I guess."

"Who?"

He pointed downstairs.

I blinked. "The devil?"

"No! Stuart."

I rolled my eyes. "That's what I said."

The joke went right over Wes's head. "Anyway, as soon as she went out with him the first time, that kind of put the kibosh on me and her getting together. We're still good friends, of course- but I still look at her sometimes and think the wrong things."

"Ah, well. Happens to the best of us."

"Yeah," he sighed. "Well, anyway. I better head back over before they get too into the game."

"Why? Do the nippers fight a lot?"

"No, I just like to join in," he chuckled. "Give them something to wrestle with. I grew up with that game myself- played it all the time."

"How nice," I hummed absently. But from then on till he left, I scarcely paid any attention to anything else he said. I was far too busy silently raging against Stuart.

He kept his lady on a very short leash it seemed, so that if Julia so much as took one step out of line, he only had to flick his wrist a slight bit to yank her back on track, choking a little more life out of her with each passing day.

Good Lord, I realized.My little stray kitten is now that bastard's caged bird. He didn't save her, he captured her. He baited the trap, lay waiting, waiting, till finally she gave in - and as soon as she lay a finger upon the the bait, he shut the door,locked her in, and threw away the key.

It was one thing for me to be unhappy; for me that was basically the default, I could deal with it in my own way thanks to years and years of practice. But jibes, jeers, and false bravado aside, I hated the idea that Julia should be so miserable. I simply couldn't stand that look in her eyes, that tone in her voice. She didn't deserve anything less than the best, and yet she resigned herself to basically a life sentence in her own personal prison - her "woman-made paradise," if you will - because she felt like she owed it to that horrible man.

Because of a job. A stupid fucking job, and one that obviously drove her crazy anyway.

I wouldn't have done this to you, Julia, I told her silently. I wouldn't have made you live like this. I would have helped you, yes- done everything in my power to be there for you, but I wouldn't have made you my captive. I didn't want your broken wings to heal simply so I could clip them.

All the same, it was still true, that as soon as the chance to fly away presented itself, she seized it. Even after all her promises, all her pledges, all her professions of love and devotion, she left. She left me.

And I still didn't know why.

By this point, Julia and I were completely alone in the house- well, if you exclude the animals, I suppose. I couldn't hear her voice anymore; I took that to mean the call had ended, and Gertrude had at last gone away satisfied.

I cleared my throat and called, "Is the old bugger gone now?"

Silence.

"Julia?" I headed down. "Darling, are you there? I asked, is the-"

But as soon as I saw her, I said no more. She couldn't hear me even if I did anyway.

For Julia was asleep. There on the sofa, with her half-drunk vodka tonic sitting on the coffee table, she lay stretched out, eyes closed, lips quietly parting and sealing at random while the dog dozed on the other end by her feet. She looked absolutely whacked.

Poor Julia, I thought. I haven't exactly made things easy for you this week, have I?

I knelt down, rested my arms on the cushion, and watched her for a few moments. I had only done this with her once before, many years ago- and yet, it felt so familiar, so natural. As though, for a single blink of an eye, it wasn't 2027- and no, it wasn't 1985, either. It was eight years further into the past, when she was barely twenty, and I was pushing thirty-one.

Life was easier, then, if I can even make such a claim. But it really was. The days before she happened, oh, I tell you- there is no comparison. I'm not saying I wished I could go back to them, you understand; I'll only say there was a radical difference, in very way. July of 1977 changed everything.

And you caused it, I told her silently. Well- not really. Not all by yourself that is. But let's just say you didn't help.

It was stunning. Even now, I had the urge to protect her- them, really, she and the boy together- to scoop them up and whisk them away to a better world, a better situation. Not that I could, all things considered, since I would allegedly be leaving tomorrow- but God, how I wanted to.

I couldn't help myself. Stroking her hair, though gently so as not to wake her, I leaned forward, and kissed her cheek. Her eyelids fluttered, and I smiled, something inside of me melting a little.

Oh, Julia, you fool. I touched her face, my throat tightening ever so subtly. We could have been so happy together, darling. I would have made you so very happy- as happy as you made me. But no. You chose the other way. You chose this life, the one without me. You chose solitude, abandonment, futility, a death by a thousand cuts. And I don't mean just for you, either. You sentenced us both.

I hope it was worth it, dear. I really do.

And yet, despite how much it hurt inside to think these things, I kept staring at her sweet, drowsy face, the tiny creases of worry and exhaustion hidden for now. She was obviously too whipped for conversation, I would not force her into it.

"You're not fooling anyone, dear," I whispered suddenly. "You think you're clever, don't you- nodding off on the sofa. It won't work, you know. I'll be right back."

With that, I stood up and ran to the bedroom, humming "Love Me Like There's No Tomorrow" under my breath- but not before I kissed her cheek just one more time.