Jungkook laid on his bed his chest constricting. He couldn't stop thinking about what happened some few days ago. He was heavily aware of his condition. He hadn't really cared about anything or anyone before. Loving someone, receiving such love had never been an issue for him. He was okay with the way things where. Having the best boys and girls in his life. Spoiling them with things that could make them feel attached to him but at the end, it still came back to one thing Love! That dreaded word and everything was over!

He thought a lot about it during recent times especially after Taemin broke up with him. He wouldn't deny that Taemin had a special place in his heart. He was an amazing person. He was kind and generous with his feelings. Always listening to him when he had so much to say. He was always there for him. He had so much love to give but the sad fact was that he had also wanted a bit of love in return and that was something Jungkook couldn't do no matter how much he tried.

He couldn't find the pleasure in waking up one morning and planting a kiss in someone else's unbrushed mouth and inhaling their morning breath. He didn't find the meaning in simple things like gifting a person flowers with romantic notes attached to it just for the sentimental value. He didn't find the need in waiting outside for someone in the cold just to see them for how long? Two hours tops. Why would anyone do such things?

"Jungkook, I need to tell you something!" Taemin had said when they where sitting in this room. Jungkook just stared at him. Taemin had a different look in his eyes this time around contrast to the normal smile usually shining through them.

"What is it?"

Taemin sighed. "The thing is Kookie. I've been wavering in my feelings. I met someone who i used to like so much"

"Minho?" Jungkook muttered dryly.

Taemin nodded. "Yes and you and i have been quite detached lately in this relationship. I like you Kookie and i would choose you in a heart beat over him but I need to know where i stand in your life. I need something to hold on to so please tell me how you feel about me"

Jungkook scratched the back of his neck nervously as he gathered spit.

"How i feel?" he said through trembling lips. He felt like a caged bird but it was at that complicated moment that his mind drifted over to years ago when a certain best friend had told him this same thing.

"Jungkook, I like you. Like a lot. I know it's sudden. We are best friends and all but I couldn't hold back from you anymore" He bit his lips. "So I was wondering, Do you like me too?"

Jungkook shook his head fervently. "Sorry Yugyeom but i don't. I can't. I don't even know how to feel about this!"

Yugyeom widened his eyes looking like he had just discovered something "You're aromantic aren't you. You can't love anyone!"

Jungkook didn't say anything and Yugyeom nodded his head in confirmation. "I suspected it. How you would toss flowers aside when people gave them to you or how you've never talked about someone without referencing their ass"

Yugyeom smiled painfully. "I just thought it was the bad boy in you talking but now i see it's much worse"

Jungkook cringed looking away from him "Don't pity me Yugyeom! I don't need it"

Yugyeom smiled sadly. "I'm not pitying you Jungkook. It really isn't a big deal to me. I've known you for so long and I'm certain that I have just about enough love for the both of us"

He continued "I know deep down inside you really care about me. That's enough for me. Just let me be there for you. That's all I ask!"

Jungkook shook his head again. "I'm sorry but you don't deserve that! No one does. You don't deserve not to be loved by someone. It's not right. I'm not good for you or for anyone. I'm sorry Yugyeom"

Yugyeom looked really hurt as he Jungkook walked away from him stopping him from saying more.

*****

"Kookie! Kookie!" Taemin said tapping his shoulder to bring him back to earth.

"Huh?"

Taemin looked offended as his brows knit together "I was asking you how you felt about me!"

Jungkook looked nervous. "That? I don't know. You're great and all. You're good in bed. You have a nice ass"

Taemin rolled his eyes.

"But.... "

"But what?"

"That's it. I won't lie. I enjoy spending time with you but i don't see the reason why feelings have to be involved all the time. Can't we just go with the flow?"

Taemin looked like he had been slapped in the face.

"Does this mean you don't like me? Then what am i to you?"

Jungkook looked confused. "It's not that. I like you. I like spending time with you. Isn't that enough?"

Taemin took a deep breath. "No Jungkook, it's not enough for me. Why would you think it's enough for me!" he blurted out in anger.

He stopped running his hands over his face. "So you don't like me in a deeper level"

He scoffed. "Have you ever loved something, anything, anyone?"

Jungkook hung his head. "No! I don't even know what love is! "

Taemin nodded knowingly as though something just hit him.

"You can't love anyone can you? because you can't feel it!" he muttered in a soft voice.

"I should have known! You're aromantic!"

He ran a hand over his hair. "I can't do this. I need some time to think"

He left the apartment, Jungkook's eyes following him. They where on edge around each other even during the camping trip until the following day, Taemin finally spoke to him the day before his mountain climbing accident. They where both together in Jungkook's tent.

"This can't work out between us. I can't be with someone who can never love me so I'm sorry Jungkook but we have to break up"

Jungkook was silent for a while before finally nodding his head. "Fine then, let's break up"

Small tears fell down Taemin's eyes.

"I can't give you what you want. It will be wrong to keep you with me" Jungkook muttered as Taemin wiped his tears.

"Let's not tell the others about our break up yet" Taemin said and Jungkook nodded his head mildly. He looked embarrassed because he hated showing his vulnerable side to others but he paused as Taemin knelt down to him, whispering into his ears.

"I hope that one day you can be happy even though you can't experience the beauty of love. The truth about love is you can be hopelessly in love with someone one moment and yet break up with that same person over the smallest of things simply because you don't know each other or understand each other. Because you've never seen each other at your worst only at your best!"

He sighed. "Love is friendship. It's better to be with someone who knows you more than you know yourself. A person who will never leave you even when others do that's when you become fulfilled and with that person beside you, you'll look forward to a brighter future"

Jungkook grinned. "Yah! I didn't know you where so wise" he teased.

Taemin smiled. "I'm not wise. It's just knowledge from all the lessons I've learned over the years"

He held Jungkook's hand lovingly. "For someone like you, you'll need someone who understands you. I'm sorry that person can't be me"

He kissed his hands. "It will hurt but I'll move on"

"Yeah with Minho!" Jungkook whispered a bit sarcastically.

Taemin just sighed. "Good bye Kookie" He simply said placing one last kiss on his fore head before he left.

Then he walked out of the room and Jungkook took to drinking alcohol through out that day.

Some days after they had all returned from camping, Jungkook had spotted Taemin and Minho at a restaurant hands intertwined. They looked really happy and his heart burned just by watching them so he drove away. Thankfully, he had gotten much better and didn't need crutches to move around anymore.

He arrived at his apartment because he lived out of campus but was suddenly surprised to see Yugyeom leaning against the wall, his eyes closed. He wasn't wearing glasses this time. The glasses where stuck in front of his shirt and he seemed relaxed and looked different from his normal nerdy look.

"What are you doing here?" He said in a grave voice as he walked past him to open his door.

Yugyeom opened his eyes looking relieved to see him.

"I thought you weren't coming back today"

Jungkook just rolled his eyes and opened the door. He entered into his apartment and Yugyeom followed suit.

He stopped in the middle of the room and glared at the other. "What the hell are you doing here?"

Yugyeom looked upset at him but them seemed to relax a little.

"I came to check up on you. How's your leg?"

Jungkook wiggled the affected leg. "As you can clearly see...."

He stopped. "Besides why do you care? Weren't you the same person who said I was bad? Why do you suddenly care about me?" he spat.

Yugyeom sighed in resignation. "About that, I'm sorry. I said that in a moment of anger. I have been holding a grudge for a long time over how our friendship had ended. I thought you had no conscience left in you but clearly I was wrong"

Jungkook arched a brow. "What do you mean?"

Yugyeom smiled. "I thought you didn't care but it's starting to get to you isn't it. Knowing that you can't be in love like others"

Jungkook frowned but Yugyeom continued.

"I understand. After you left me, I felt terrible within myself and I wished I had never confessed my feelings for you. I vowed that I wouldn't worry over you or care about you anymore"

He breathed deeply. "But then we met again at the orphanage and immediately i could read through you. I could feel your unhappiness. I could see how your smile never reached your eyes. You act all tough but inside, you're breaking"

"Shut up!" Jungkook growled.

"I'm not going to shut up Jungkook. You need to accept yourself for who you are and stop living this life of pretense, acting as though everything is okay. Jumping from one bed to another hoping it will fill the void in your empty life!"

"Yugyeom! Shut the hell up!"

"And I will not! Because despite everything, I was once your best friend and i loved you!"

Jungkook froze looking at the other with surprise. He was surprised at his determination, at the fire burning in the other's eyes.

"I can't help but worry about you. Worry about your feelings. I can help you even though you don't want me to"

Jungkook dragged his leg and sat on the sofa.

"You don't understand what I feel!" he said in resignation. Yugyeom sat down beside him.

"I do. You don't have to pretend like you have everything under control. At least not with me because i know you. I've known you since we where babies in diapers"

Jungkook chuckled remembering the early days as Yugyeom went on "We did everything together. Even when we lost our virginities and had our first relationships, we told each other. We where good until... "

Jungkook raised a finger placing it on his lips to stop the reminiscing "I need a drink right now...how about you?" he muttered.

The tension around them had gradually eased and Yugyeom nodded his head.

"I think that will be okay!" he whispered.

Jungkook quickly stood up and dashed towards his room before returning with a bottle of alcohol. He dropped the bottle on the center table with two glass cups and they both started drinking talking about nothing and everything.

Before long, they where drunk and Jungkook started laughing for nothing.

"You where really my best friend. You know everything about me!"

"Of course i do!" Yugyeom said loudly giggling.

There was a moment of silence before Jungkook reached out to lightly touch Yugyeom's bangs.

"Do you still like me?" he whispered.

Yugyeom slowly nodded, cheeks aflame. "Yes, i do!"

"How much do you like me?" he whispered, his breath ragged as he leaned closer nibbling at the other's neck. Yugyeom let out a slight moan.

"Very very much Kookie. I don't think i ever stopped"

Jungkook stopped his ministration on his neck and faced him so that their eyes met.

"Even when I don't kiss you in the morning because you have morning breath?"

"Even then"

"Even when I don't remember to send flowers during our anniversary?"

Yugyeom smiled. "Even then....

"Even when..."

Yugyeom clapsed his hands in his own. "Even through all your faults, I'll still like you Jungkook"

A small smile lit up Jungkook's face "Then kiss me" he whispered.

Yugyeom's eyes widened but then his hand slowly reached to the back of Jungkook's head as he drew him closer so their lips could meet. There was no butterflies in Jungkook's stomach. Just more or less a feeling of safety, of reassurance. He slowly wrapped his arms around Yugyeom's neck pulling him closer so that the kiss deepened. He was feeling more lustful and started to fumble with the buttons on Yugyeom's shirt but the latter held his hand between his own stopping him as he pulled away.

"Not now Kookie!" he whispered.

The excitement slowly died as Jungkook looked at him.

"I love you too much to just be like the others to you. I want to really help you. I want to teach you how to feel for others. How to not only think about sex when you kiss someone"

He tightened his hold on him. "Even if it takes me forever, I'll teach you, step by step but only if you let me!"

Jungkook had never felt so timid or vulnerable in his entire life. He smiled genuinely and nodded his head.

Yugyeom looked really happy. "I'm travelling tomorrow so maybe when I'll return we'll get to see!"

Jungkook shrugged "It's fine. I'll be waiting"

Yugyeom hugged him tightly. "Okay then see you and thanks for the kiss!"

He left and maybe just maybe Jungkook felt a tiny little butterfly in his stomach.

But a few days passed and Jungkook was in a record company talking with a manager. The company wanted to sign him up and he had been given a contract to read over and decide on. He was leaving the building when his phone rang in his pocket. He picked it up on seeing Yoongi's caller ID.

Yoongi hyung, what's up?" Jungkook murmured from the other line.

"Kookie, you wouldn't believe what I've just found out"

The other was now curious.

"Hyung, tell me. What is it?"

"Why don't i just send it to you so you can see for yourself"

Within few seconds, an image was sent to his phone. It looked like a note and when he read it, he was shocked.

"Wait, Taehyung and Jimin are in a fake relationship?" he said to Yoongi.

"Apparently so. They did it to make you jealous!"

Jungkook laughed. "That's good! It's so good. Don't tell anyone about this discovery especially your boyfriend. I'll take care of it"

"Of course Kookie!" Yoongi said and hung up.

Jungkook laughed loudly. Park Jimin, the one who got away. The one who had awoken his insecurities he had long buried had still being in his trap after all. All those things he kept doing with Taehyung had only been for show. He was back in the game now but then that voice rang in his ears.

I could feel your unhappiness. I could see how your smile never reached your eyes. You act all tough but inside, you're breaking

You need to accept yourself for who you are and stop living this life of pretense, acting as though everything is okay. Jumping from one bed to another hoping it will fill the void in your empty life

I want to teach you how to feel for others.

Even if it takes me forever, I'll teach you, step by step but only if you let me.

He felt his chest tighten with guilt but he ignored it. This was just a game he left unfinished. That's all. He was going to get Park Jimin!

How was the chapter? We are moving to the climax people. A lot is abou to go down. Probably, this book has a few chapters left. I'm not sure but let's keep going. Love you all!