"So... how've you been?"

         "I told you at the wake."

         I pull my lips between my teeth as I see her nod from the corner of my eye, "Well... you told me about your work and living with Freya, you didn't really say much other than that."

         If only my flat replies would discourage her. But I'm not that lucky today. "What do you want me to tell you, Kirsten?" I say with a sigh, "If I'm seeing someone? I am seeing someone. Her name is Delaney and she just became old enough to drink."

         This time I purposefully look at her face, to see her brows a little raised, but that's it. "Well," Kirsten shrugs, "That's... nice."

         "I described her the way you would've if I only said that she's 21."

         "No I wouldn't," She frowns, "I'm not that mean!"

         "Yeah, right," I smile against my will, "And I was born yesterday."

         "Okay," Kirsten sighs, but I can tell she's relieved that I'm cracking jokes. Unless she gets to the hospital in under 5 minutes, that's not how we'll part. "So, um... tell me something about her."

         "You didn't seriously just ask me that."

         "What?" She shrugs- one thing I don't remember is her being this clueless. "I'm making conversation. Go on, tell me about the girl."

         I shake my head lightly, realizing something – I don't even want to tell her about Delaney. I don't want her to know anything about Delaney, I already regret telling her her name. I feel like giving her any piece of information about my life would make her a part of it again. The probability that the Evil Queen here and I created a child and now there's no going back for the rest of eternity is enough, I don't want her knowing things that aren't absolutely necessary.

         I don't even know why I asked her to give me a ride. I thought I had questions concerning Conrad, but I don't. Everything is crystal clear.

         "There's..." I keep shaking my head, opening the window on my side before intertwining my hands in my lap; the evening is very nice. Warm, but windy enough to make it perfect. If only I were lucky enough to be enjoying it instead of being here. "Not much to say."

         "Come on, where'd you meet her? What's the first thing that caught your eye?"

         I lean my head back against the seat, "You're embarrassing yourself. Stop it."

         She sighs, tapping the fingers of both of her hands against the steering wheel; she's getting fed up with my childishness. I'm not saying she has a right to that, but I know how she reacts to each of my behaviors.

         "Um, before I forget..." She starts after a minute, audibly three times as uncomfortable as she was before. "Here... you go."

         I turn my head to look at what she's doing, furrowing my brows a little as she rummages through her bag that's on the dashboard with one hand; before I can think about what it could be that she's about to give me, she pulls out a plastic bag – with a toothbrush in it.

         "For your... test."

         I take the colorful object from her hands, inspecting it through the transparent packaging. So far I'm getting the impression that Conrad likes green, yellow and dragons.

         "Thanks," I mutter, clutching the item tightly, "Does he still use it?"

         "Uh, well, yeah, but I'll get him a new one-"

         "He can have this one at my place."

         I purposefully watch her as I say that, noting that she only gulps heavily at what I said, not reacting any other way. This whole situation is evolving way too fast for her and I don't know why, but I really want to push her to her limits.

         "Is that a problem?"

         "U-uh, no, no, just..." She shrugs, "A couple days ago you were nervous about being around him and-and saying something stupid, and now... you want him to have a toothbrush at your place."

         Sounds like the first month of my relationship with Delaney.

         "That was before I knew Eric's paternity test turned out to be negative."

         "Okay," She replies curtly after a long few seconds- she's not giving in yet. "And you know, since... we're talking about that, I think you should know that-"

         "Let me guess, you're gonna say you've never slept with anyone but the two of us?"

         "Well... I mean..." She's visibly a little embarrassed, but she shrugs anyway, "I haven't."

         "So it's only me you cheated on?" I nod firmly to myself, causing her to grip the wheel tighter – I'm deliberately going back to that every chance I get, just to make her feel as bad as I can. Wow. And all these years, I thought Niall was the bitter one. "Just my luck."

         "Anyway," She drags the word out- I can't believe her. I mean I know a lot of time has passed, but if the roles were reversed, every other phrase coming out of my mouth would be I'm sorry. Her? Nada. "Since, um... Eric is eliminated, and you're the only one left-"

         "It sounds so dirty when you say it like that."

         "Can you let me finish?"

         "I always did."

         I smirk to myself when I hear her clearing her throat unnecessarily, knowing we're thinking of the same thing. She's not that clueless after all. "I just thought... since you... obviously want to be a part of Conrad's life, we could... be on... friendly terms?"

         I snort as she barely gets the words out, too ashamed to even suggest it – a fact that's strangely making me happy. "Kirsten, the only terms I want to be on with you is strangers."

         "Harry, come on, I'm serious-"

         "So am I," I raise my voice a little, not enough to wake Conrad up but enough to get her to stop talking. "Listen, when Conrad's there, I can joke and put on a happy face and act like everything is fine like I am right now, but other than that?"

         "Harry-"

         "I wish it was your wake I went to and not Eric's."

         She shakes her head this time, her lips pressed tightly together as she suddenly swerves to the side of the road- she didn't even turn her blinkers on, Jesus Christ, I hope she flies a plane better than she drives a car.

         "What the hell was- oh, you gotta be kidding me." First I put my hand on my forehead, then run it through my hair when I notice she's put her face in her hands, and her elbows against her thighs- she's about to start crying. She's gonna start crying but it won't soften me up at all, it'll only make me more impatient and, quite frankly, angrier. I might've been a little out of line with what I said, but it's nothing her actions didn't earn her.

         "You know what?" I say loudly as I look out the window, needing a minute but eventually recognizing the part of the city we're in, "I can walk to the hospital from here. Goodbye."

         Opening the car door even before I've finished my sentence and getting out as quickly as possible, I feel as if I've entered a whole different world by getting out of there, and starting to march down the road on this fine Sunday evening. This world feels like there is enough air for me to breathe.

         "Harry!" And, of course, there's that voice that magically sucks it all up. "Harry, wait, wait please-"

         "What the fuck do you want from me?" I initially thought I'd be yelling the words in her face, but right now I'm laughing as I slowly and involuntarily turn around to face her; the look of sadness on her already panicked face as she reaches me is a plus. "You gave birth to a kid that could be mine, great, can I please only have business with the kid?"

         "Look, what do you want me to do?" She shouts back at me, standing up to me for the first time, "Go back in time and not do what I did? I want that too, for fuck's sake, Harry, I'm not some monster that intentionally does bad things! I was young, and scared, and I made the wrong decision!"

         "You're saying marrying Eric was the wrong decision?" Poor dead guy.

         "I already had you, being with him at all was the wrong decision!"

         For a few moments I keep looking at her, inspecting her face, taking in every detail about the expression it holds – but in the end, I decide to raise my brows and keep up with my act. "Well, well, well, five years later-"

         "Not five years later!" She yells even louder, getting closer to me, this time successfully making me widen my eyes. "As soon as I replied when he texted me after I got back together with you!"

         I purse my lips and raise one eyebrow at her- she's breathing heavily, looking like she's about to burst into tears as well as pull out a tree with all of its roots. I'm not gonna lie, I hated Eric prior to his death but I was also aware that I'd been angry at Kirsten; it's rather nice to find out that she's been angry with herself all this time too.

         And there's no doubt about that – she's angry. And she has no one to be angry with but herself.

         "I don't know what to tell you, Kirsten," I frown at her, feeling sorry for her when her face turns completely blank, then full of disbelief, then hopeless. "I'm glad you realize that now, but what am I supposed to do with the information?"

         "Stand me," She answers instantly, looking at me like she's expecting me to know what the hell she means by that. "I'm-I'm not asking you to forgive me, I'm not asking you to even be on friendly terms with me, just..."

          Her legs and feet start shaking, making her look like she's bouncing in spot in nervousness, "Don't hate me. Don't wish me dead, be okay with the fact that I exist."

         I press my lips together, looking down at the small toothbrush in my hand; and for the first time today, I'm not hearing Niall's voice in my head telling me that she's someone Satan sent from the ninth circle of hell, I'm looking at her and I'm thinking... Conrad's mom. My almost-definite son's mother. I know he told me not to think of her that way, but I feel like that's more important than what she did to me five years ago.

         "You didn't just make one bad decision," I shake my head, after a minute of silence, "You could've ended things with him before it was too late. And even when it was too late, you didn't have to go on and marry him. And when you found out Conrad wasn't Eric's, well, where do I even start with that?"

         Kirsten parts her lips, looking at me with her big brown eyes- "I... didn't think I could live with myself if I saw you again."

         I think I'm getting the same feeling I got when I saw her at Eric's wake a month ago, for the first time in years; once again I'm starting to notice what a dark shade of brown her eyes are, how plump her sandy-brown colored lips are, how beautifully her natural hair frames her face, how fucked I am for allowing myself to notice all of this.

         "Come on," She says, even more quiet now, hesitantly getting a hold of my wrist, "Come back in the car."

         I hastily pull my hand away, before her fingers could slip down to mine, and take a deep, shaky breath before speaking, "I'm not ready for this," I shake my head again, looking down at my hands, "Maybe, maybe, sometime in the future, but now... I can't hang out with you now, Kirsten."

         "You're not even gonna let me take you to the hospital?"

         "It's ten minutes from here, and..." I stretch my arms out, as if surrendering, "I don't even know why I asked you for a ride. I felt like getting in a fight with you, but... I don't know. I don't know where my head is anymore."

         She starts nodding even before I finish my sentence, seeing how my mind has more or less fallen apart after such a day. "Well, we're in town for another couple of days, so you can see, um, Conrad, if you want to."

         "Yeah, of course," I nod back, not thinking twice about having him in the top of my priorities. "Give him a kiss from me."

         "Okay. Bye, Harry."

         "Bye," I almost whisper as she turns around, her arms crossed over her chest as she walks back to her car. I start walking down the road too, not too unhappy about choosing to walk to the hospital due to the nice weather, happy that this car ride didn't end in her running me over with her car.

*

         "Ni-Niall," I breathe out, turning left at the corner leading to a hallway where I notice the familiar face. After ten minutes of wandering around and becoming a little hopeless that I'd never find the delivery ward in this goddamn place, I'm beyond relieved.

        I start walking down the hall at a fast pace, almost jogging, but suddenly slow down and almost stop moving completely when I realize what he's holding in his hands; a small, tiny baby, and when I get a little closer, I notice a blue rubber bracelet around his left wrist. From my experience with Niall having his first two kids, I remember he'd worn a pink one each time. And they said 'it's a girl!'.

         And this one's blue.

         No wonder the son of a gun looks like he just got hit by a train.

         "Niall?" I call him again, with a growing smile as I approach them, and sit down next to him on the bench. "God answered your prayers this time? Third's a charm, innit?"

         I don't know why it takes me so long to realize, but he's not looking at his son; I start losing the grin from my face when I notice he's staring right ahead of himself, his eyes partially closed and his brows raised. I furrow mine when I also notice him rocking his whole body back and forth, and not just the baby. Okay. Something really strange is going on.

         "Buddy? You okay?" I pat his back a couple times, and when he doesn't snap out of his trance let alone give me a reply, I look down at the baby in his hands; at first I was expecting something really creepy, but, it's just a baby. His eyes are closed and he's waving his tiny arms around the way newborns do. So far the only creepy thing in all of this, is Niall.

         He can't be this shocked about having a son, right?

         "Ni- oh, good, mum," I sigh, getting up when my mother comes through a door, presumably the toilet. "Niall's weird."

         "Yeah, no kidding," She gives me a hug when I reach her and then crosses her arms, looking at the poor soul a few feet away from us. "He's been like that for an hour."

         "You think it's safe for him to be holding a baby?"

         "Yeah, that's not the problem."

         "There's a problem?" I raise my brows, "Why- is the baby okay?"

         "Yeah, yeah, it's a healthy, six and a half pounds heavy boy."

         A wide grin spreads across my face, happy myself that his wish finally came true. "I knew it, I knew it'd be a boy! Okay, so if it's not that, why does he look like he had a stroke?"

         "Harry..." Mum trails off, shaking her head and giving me a sad face. Okay, my day was already too long as it is, what could've happened now?

         "What's going on?" I breathe out a nervous laugh, "Is Freya okay?"

         Honestly, I was expecting her to immediately tell me that it's not her either, and that she's fine, and that she's recovering well after giving birth. But mum stays quiet, pulling her lips between her teeth to hide the expression she gets when she's near to tears-

          "Mum?" I widen my eyes, "Where's Freya?"

*

this ending makes me upset so i'm gonna update real quick lol, in the meantime please vote and comment :D i love you x