Part 2

Tiffany POV

"I know pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride!"

Everyone cheers as Ki's lips press onto mine and we kiss before a few seconds before pulling away,I turn to Olivia (My maid of honour) and Ki turns to Tom (His best man) They engage in a man hug and I embrace my best friend.

"I'm so happy for you." She whispers.
"Thanks." I say,turning back to my new husband as we walk down the isle.

Once we're back at the reception all through the night are dances,speeches and celebration. Normally,this kind of stuff would make me vomit,but it's different when you're surrounded by people you actually love and appreciate isn't it?

After all the celebration we're driven away in one of those fancy cars 'Just married' we drive for what seems like ages,hand in hand to the honey moon suite. It's beautiful I have to admit,large pool outside,with a beautiful bedroom with a kingsized bed cloaked with rose petals. I'm looking onto the distance to the balcony when I feel a pair of arms wrap around me,I turn round to see Ki (obviously) I blush then turn back to him.

"I can't believe we're married." He says "I love you."
"I love you more."
"Not possible,"

His lips gently graze against mine as he scoops me up,legs wrapped around his waist and softly lays me down on the bed. I had taken off my wedding dress before and changed into a short black dress which he takes off then peels his hands down the buttons on his shirt,then his trousers. I let my eyes close as my hands pull his lips down to my level as I kiss his warm neck over and over,feeling his pulse beat heavily against mine.

Once we begins his hips grind heavily against mine,as we melt into one I forget about everything. My eyes close as something fizzes inside of me. Electricity,sparking through me,it feels amazing. Like some kind of source only he can give me. I whisper his name over and over which he obviously enjoys,I get higher and higher until I reach my climax. As we detach and fall to opposite sides of the mattress,I roll over to him and kiss him gently.

I wake up in the night to a voice,it's coming from the living room. I'm not wearing anything so I grab my nightgown and slide it on,the silky material massaging my skin. I stand on the balcony to the steps so he can't see me. He just sits there on the phone.

"Look,James I can't do this right now!" He yells "I don't give a fuck about the figures. I'm off for the week,what makes you think you can call me? .... Well I don't care! .... Look bye."

He hangs up then turns to look at me.

"You all right princess?"
"Yeah." I start walking down the steps "Are you okay?"
"I'm fine, just some fuck up at work."
"Do you have to go back?"
"They want me too."
"Then go back then."
"I want to stay with you."
"Okay.. Look,tiff,I just need to sort out one more thing. Go to bed I'll met you there soon."
"All right." I kiss him then walk back upstairs to our room and fall back down on the bed,waiting for Ki,my eyes barely allowing to keep themselves open.

A hand gently brushes down my cheek as my eyes open to see Ki lying there,smiling at me.

"Morning beautiful." He says in his perfect morning voice.
"Morning."
"What do you want to do today?"
"It doesn't matter. As long as I'm with you."
"We could go down to the beach?"
"Perfect... Ki?"
"Yes?"
"Is everything okay,with work?"
"It's fine,don't worry."
"As long as you're okay."
"Course I am." As I snuggle deeper into his embrace I feel the need to say something stupid.
"Remember when I didn't talk?"
"Yeah."
"Did you hate me then?"
"No."
"You thought I was mental."
"I didn't know what I thought of you."
"Have you sussed me out now then?"
"Tiff you're not a puzzle,there's so much more to you than that."
"You really think so?"
"Of course I do. I fell in love with you for everything you are."

I turn round so I look deep into his dark eyes,they're full of lust.

"You know that I'm better now right?" I say,but for some reason I feel like bursting into tears "You know that everything's changed,times changed who I am."
"I know." He leans down and kisses me "But who you were.. There's nothing wrong with that."
"You sure?"
"Of course I am."
"That's what I always loved about you Ki."

He smiles widely.

"I'm going to make breakfast." He crawls out of bed "You coming?"
"Soon."
"Okay."

He walks away and I just lie under the sheets then after a few minutes walk back downstairs to see him making eggs.

"Need help?" I ask,sitting down on a stool.
"No,I got this."
"This better not be like pancake day."
"Right that wasn't my fault. Thomas pushed me." He starts to laugh and I do the same.
"Just don't let anything get stuck to the ceiling again? Because I'm not cleaning it up."
"You won't."

As my phone starts to ring I dash over to it,I check it to see it's an unknown number. I raise my eyebrow then pick it up.

"Who is this?"
"It's Ronnie. From work."
"What is it?"
"When can you get back?"
"A few weeks. Why?"
"Something's happened?"
"What?"
"The figures have gone done."
"What does that mean?"
"This business is going down."
"That's not my problem."
"You could loose your job."
"Is that all you wanted to tell me?"
"Yeah. And that you need to come into the office."
"Well I'm busy."
"Doing what?"
"I'll be back in a week. Goodbye."

I hang up and just groan.

"Who's that?" Ki asks.
"No one."
"Here." He hands me a plate of eggs.
"I'm not hungry."
"Let's go swimming then."

He walk to the beach then slowly submerge in the water,it's warm as he splashes me,making me shriek as I splash him back,bursting out with laughter. Not able to focus in anything else but him and the scorching sun, I think this is happiness.

The week flies past,probably one of the best in the world. With him all my troubles melt away,and it feels like we're the only people in the world. I don't care for anything else. I no longer believed in the idea of soul mates, or love at first sight. But I was beginning to believe that a very few times in your life, if you were lucky, you might meet someone who was exactly right for you. Not because he was perfect, or because you were, but because your combined flaws were arranged in a way that allowed two separate beings to hinge together.

On the plane journey home I sit with my head laid against the window as a picture of Alex filled my mind, what would Ki do if I told him? I couldn't risk losing or breaking his heart,I was an expert on hurting people. That's why I stopped talking,so that no one who lived in my presence would be. Don't look back at the past,the monsters are still there.

Once we get off and walk through the airport and get a taxi home,once I step through the door everything familiarises itself with how it was before.

I walk to the bedroom and fall down under the sheets, as I hear Ki join me a little while after..

Something in my stomach shakes me awake as I dash to the toilet,I hurl out vomit as I cling to the seat. I lock the door then search for a pregnancy test in the cupboard,I find a pack of three use the first one. I sit in the empty bath as I wait and the digital words come out

Positive

I feel myself start to shake as I try a second,then a third. But they're all the same. I feel myself start to panic,but I calm myself down. I throw the tests in the trash then lay against the tile wall,not sure what to do. I feel like breaking down but I wipe he first tears away,I don't let myself cry. It shows I'm weak,and that's not how the world made me to be. I just sit there,thinking for what to do until something comes into mind.

I go over and look at myself in the mirror. I'm wearing a scarf,jeans and a jumper. That's acceptable. I quickly brush my hair then walk out the apartment. Calling a taxi at 11PM which arrives at the office, I enter my department to see basically everyone there.

"What the fuck is going on?" I ask,walking towards a random person. I've seen them round I just don't dare to know them. I don't have time for other friendships,it's a waste.
"We've been like this for days." He answers,then I realise it's the guy from the phone call.
"What's going on?"
"It's exactly like I told you."
"Let me handle it."
"What?"

I walk over to my desk then pick up my phone as I begin to dial until I revive an answer.

"Hello?" The voice asks.
"Alex it's me."
"What?"
"I need you to come into work."
"But I quit."
"No you didn't. Look we need your help,I need your help."
"What's wrong?"
"I'll explain when you get here."
"Fine. I'll be there as soon as you can."
"Good bye."
"Bye."

Once he hangs up I walk over to my desk and begun typing. The best thing is that Ki's a deep sleeper,he's extremely tired from the plane so I guess he'll be asleep for hours and hours so I've got plenty of time. I'm too stressed. I'm just fucking sick of everything.

Everything.

Alex walks in a little while later and I cover up my wedding ring.

"What is it?"
"I need you to help me with this." I toss him a bunch of sheets "We don't have long."
"These are just statistics."
"Exactly,we need to raise them."
"And how do you expect do do that?"
"I don't know!"
"I thought you had a plan for everything." He looks at me with a convincing,crooked smile.
"Not now."

I start typing frantically,ignoring everything around me. Until something breaks and I need to stop.
"You need to calm down." Alex scoffs.
"You don't understand."
"Just talk to me,we can fix this."
"I can't.."
"Tiff.. We can sort it out. I promise."
"Fine. Well everything's crushed on me,I'm stressed and trapped in my thoughts,I need you to tell me it's not as bad as it all really is,it's suffocating me and I don't know what to do. And I did something I deeply regret and now I'm fucking trapped. So we can sort that out can we?"

He just sits there for a moment. Looking into my eyes,as if I'm the only one he's ever met in the world who's been broken,upset,depressed,alone. I just look at him.

"See,I told you."
"No. No. It's just I'm a little shocked."
"What?"
"You're the type of girl they write books about."
"You don't understand. No one ever does."
"I know you. You have so much fear in your heart."
"My heart? Oh yeah,I lost that years ago."
"You're just answering your own questions."
"Are you staying here tonight?"
"Maybe."
"I need to get back home,I'll be back soon."
"Bye."

I smile before I walk away and briskly back home. Ki's obviously still asleep,I check the time to see it's 5:30AM,I sigh then walk back into the bathroom and get a long steamy shower,get dressed (Nothing fancy) and get breakfast. I hear footsteps then see Ki walk into the kitchen as he kisses me lightly.

"What time is it?"
I check my watch "7:30."
"Right."

He sits on a stool.. This is the time to tell him.

"Ki.. Do you want a family?"
"Um. Well,I never really thought. Is everything okay?"
"It's just I.."
"Is this what I think it is?"
"What do you think it is?"
"Are you?"

I just look into his eyes.

"That's amazing!" He's about to kiss me but I pull away.
"No it's not."
"What?"
"I don't want a baby,"
"What,like not now?"
"Never."
"So,you want to remove it?"
"Yes."
"Tiff,I think you should think, but whatever it's your choice."
"You really don't want me to kill it do you?"
"Course not."

Then he walks into the bedroom and comes back a few minutes later dressed in sharp work clothes.

"I'll see you tonight. I love you."
"I love you too."

And with that's he's gone,leaving me alone. I walk into the bedroom and begin to cry. I grab a suitcase then find all my clothes,dumping them in and taking the precious photo on my nightstand. I walk into the kitchen,find a pen and paper as I begin to write.

Ki,

I want to tell you I'm sorry. Don't worry because this note isn't what you think it is. I'm sorry if I break you heart. But you have things you have to do. And if you're reading this I must've made it through.

I'm going to stay with someone for a while,if you call me I probably won't respond. I love you,I love you so so much but I know you can do better, look at me,nobody needs me. And I'm sorry. But I can't change myself,you've known that for years and years.

So this is me,and I'm saying thank you. I'll always love you.

Tiffany Sangster.

Ps,stay strong. You need to stay strong for me.

I sit on the train for hours and hours,alone. I turn my phone off,Ki will be calling me soon enough, I couldn't sleep. I needed to stay awake as the train signals my stop. I haul my heavy suitcase then stay on the platform until Olivia comes into contact. She hugs me for a while as I feel myself start to cry.

"What happened?" She asks.
"I'll explain it all soon. I promise."
"Okay,come on,we'll go back to my place." She holds my suitcase for me as we walk to a cul-de-sac of houses and she unlocks the door as we slump down on the sofa.
"I had to run away." I mutter,
"You always did that."
"I can't stop it. And I never will."
"Ki will go out of his mind."
"He'll find someone else."
"Don't be stupid."
"I'm not Liv."
"Of course you are."
"Everything's coming to an end. And it's fucking scary."
She just smiles.

"This isn't the end. You have to make it."
"Then what is?"
"Don't you remember what I used to say to you when we were teens.. That even though it's such a struggle we're going to make it no matter what."
"I know,that saved me all these years, but sometimes different now, times changed us,it changes everyone,"
"So? You've fucked up,I've fucked up,Ki's fucked up,Tom's fucked up but it doesn't all have to go to shit."
"Well maybe I wasn't worth the effort."
"Everyone is Tiff."
"Stop trying to pretend like this isn't happening!"
"It doesn't have to happen. Any of this!" She gets up,grabs her mobile and throws it at me "You've gotta ring him!"
"I can't."
"If you don't I will."
"You wouldn't do that because you're my best friend."
"Just sleep then."
"I don't want to sleep!" God,I sound like a five year old.
"I've got to go to work. Do you want me to call off?"
"No. Go in. I'll be fine here."
"Okay,well here." She switches in the TV as Phineas and Ferb bursts on,she hands the the remote "Feel free to eat,sleep,whatever. Call me if you need me."
"Okay. Thanks."
"No problem."

Once she's gone I sit there watching the kid show,the characters are building a roller coaster. There are so many people in the real world with such amazing minds. I remember when someone asked me what I thought beauty was,I replied death. They didn't understand,they asked why and I responded-

"Once you die you look back at all your mistakes,everything goes white,it's all shut off. It's peace,the peace you've been wanting forever. It's your choice,to live or not to live."

Maybe life was worth living,maybe even if it was hard it was going to be okay. I had to tell myself this. And it's not that people don't care that you're broken,it's that you don't let them care. But you know when you think you know someone? More than anyone in the world? You know you know them, because you've seen them, like, for real. And then you reach out, and suddenly they are just... gone. You though you belonged together. You thought they were yours, but they're not. You want to protect them, but you can't.