Lilibet
Lilibet
11th December, 1936
Dear Diary,
Papa had a grown-up talk with me today.
I knew it was something important, because he looked very sad and worried when he entered the schoolroom, promptly sending Margaret away. He had meant to tell me sooner, he said, but he'd been waiting for "the right time".
It may have been "the right time" for him – but the same cannot be said for me.
Uncle David has been King since Grandpapa died earlier this year. It is a fact – just as the sky is blue, and Mama loves Papa. It is never something I have thought too much about before; that's just how it is.
No – how it used to be.
Today, Uncle David decided that he doesn't want to be King anymore – which means the duty has passed on to Papa.
I have had enough lessons about the constitution to know that Uncle David must have had a very good reason for abdicating. One cannot simply choose not to be Monarch – to be crowned is to swear before God to serve the country as long as you shall live.
When I asked what had happened, Papa just said it was complicated. I loathe that word! It is the word grown-ups use when they want to avoid having to explain something.
And then, in the midst of my exasperation, it hit me.
"I will be Queen," I whispered, stunned.
I know that Great Britain has had two queens. Both reigned for many years, and both were strong and respected women.
One day, I am to be the next.
But, how can I? A Monarch needs to be elegant and powerful – not awkward, and shy. Papa says it is bound to be a shock, and in time I will get used to the idea, but I don't quite believe I ever will.
Yet somehow, I must. This is not a job I can refuse; not like Uncle David. I may not know the full story, but I know enough to realise he has disgraced the entire family.
For Papa, there will not be a choice – nor will there be one for me, when my time comes.
And my time will come.
I cannot bear to think of it. On the day I become Queen, I will have lost my Papa – my dear Papa whom I love so dearly.
For now, I want to continue as normal, even though I know that everything will have to change. This morning I woke up as Lilibet; now I'm not sure if that person even exists anymore. I feel the same, but everything else is different.
I'm the same person, I suppose – which is part of the problem.
Because one day, I will be Queen.
And I am so terrified that I will not be enough.
Bạn đang đọc truyện trên: AzTruyen.Top