After the first day spending time together, we both came back exhausted. Or at least, that was how I felt. We took several short breaks during the day because my feet gave up on walking. Hideyoshi was considerate enough to offer me a piggy-back ride, to which I politely declined, saying that he already had to carry shopping bags on his hands, so I wouldn't want to trouble him with my burden. He had this look on his face that said he could have even lifted another five hundred pounds, but kept silent for my sake.

We reached my apartment late afternoon. In summer, even after 6 pm, it was still as bright as 3pm of a winter day. We could have wandered around the streets a bit more – I was simply dead tired, to the point that I realized my hands and feet were shaking out of hunger, out of my own neglection, and out of the after-effects that excitement left me, having lost in Hideyoshi's stories for so long. Not only he told me about Nobunaga, he also complained about Mitsuhide – though I thought it was more out of concern than just complaints, about Masamune, Mitsunari, Ieyasu, and literally everyone else in Azuchi palace. He did sound like a mom, but his stories were all interesting and funny that I couldn't stop myself from listening to them wholeheartedly.

My body did not agree with my heart, of course. We passed lunch time without even noticing, as the clear and sunny sky didn't fail to shine through all day. When I looked at my watch, it was already 3:30pm.

"Would instant noodles do?" I asked quietly, opening the cabinet. Hideyoshi was setting the bags on the counter. The kitchen was small enough for my voice to echo through the whole room even without much effort.

Hearing my question, he walked towards me and peaked into the cabinet.

"No, that wouldn't do. Noodle doesn't give you that much nutrition to begin with. Don't you have something else? Oh, I saw some dried shiitake. Canned vegetables? Not sure what that is, but it's still vegetable."

I was too tired to even push him away. "Hideyoshi, pleas-"

"I know that you don't seem to care much for cooking. But even so, you need to eat properly. When I see one, I know it. You neglect your meals, cook whatever you find, or sometimes, you might not even cook at all. Am I right? You're just like some certain idiots back in Azuchi. And they even have attendants caring for them. How can you live like this??"

Hideyoshi was still going on about his lecture on what to eat for dinner tonight. I got it, it was the Hidemama side of him started to slip out. Even so, my body just really, really wanted something to digest...

I grabbed his shirt, feeling my legs completely gave out as I shifted my body weight onto him.

"Oi, Arisu? Are you alright?" He stopped his lecture to turn to me, and his horrified expression told me that I must have looked terrible at that moment.

I could feel my hands shaking, probably out of hunger. I didn't know, nor did I care to find out. It had always been like this, just random symptoms of exhaustion, and I found it easier to simply ignore them and carry on with life. I'm twenty, my body should be strong enough to regenerate energy out of all the tummy fat that had been building inside me, right? So starving a little shouldn't be a problem.

My feet were left off the ground, and my body suddenly became light. I could even feel his warmth touching me as my eyes refused to open. His strong and muscular arms wrapped around me, secured my body against his, as he murmured some angry words. I couldn't make out what they were, but I could feel him running up the stairs, and I could hear his heartbeats. They were all jumbled up though, these vague motions that my brain picked up through distorted senses. I could feel them, but they could also be a dream. They could have come in different orders, or they might just have been my imagination flying again. Eventually, my brain gave up deciphering hints, and my consciousness slipped into total darkness.

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I woke up several hours later, feeling like a vampire kicking out of her coffin after getting resurrected. My body felt like lead, and my head kept spinning. But I could think clearly now.

The clock on top of my nightstand pointed at 1 o'clock.

It was dark outside. It must have been a bit after midnight then. I must have fallen asleep too early in the afternoon, which would explain why I woke up at such an eerie hour. My phone was nowhere to be found. Everything was dark, except for the kitchen light.

"Arisu...?"

My eyes fell onto the hazelnut-haired guy sitting on the floor, his head rested on my bed, but his eyes peeked open at me in a sheepish way.

!!!

I almost cried out loud when I saw him, if it hadn't been for instant memories rushing back to inform me what in the world had happened yesterday. The nap I took felt like forever, and apparently it had shut me down from knowing even who I was.

But I remembered everything now.

"Hideyoshi? Sorry for waking you up. Would you like to sleep on the bed? It must be hard to sleep while you are sitting on the hard-cold floor like that." I patted his head in order to wake him up completely. Sleeping or not, I would hate for him to catch a cold this way.

He blinked a few times, then as if a light bulb had lit up in his head, he stood up and rushed to the kitchen. The bedroom was still covered in darkness, with just a dim light reflected from outside. Yet he was able to run outside so fast, I couldn't deny that I was impressed.

Hideyoshi came back with a tray, and the instant he stepped inside, the room filled itself with delicious aroma. He set it on my nightstand.

"Oh, could you..." I pointed at the light switch, realizing he didn't know about how to operate lights. "Could you turn the light on, please? The switch is right behind you. Just flick it."

Hideyoshi did as told, and the light bulb went on. I squinted at the sudden change in brightness, despite having prepared for it.

The tray he set down carried a big bowl of ramen in it. Not just any instant ramen like the one I pulled out, he also put in mushroom, green vegetables, slices of pork, and even a boiled egg. He also dashed it with finely chopped green onions.

"I didn't know you could cook." I looked up at him, ignoring the grumbling of my stomach.

"Not as good as Masamune." He sat down beside me. "But I know how to make some decent meals, with basic nutrients. Taste and decoration are out of question though."

"They look delicious to me."

"Then eat up." He placed a pair of chopsticks in my hands. "To someone who fainted from starvation, you sure are holding yourself back."

"How did you-?"

"Your stomach might not have been as quiet as you thought. I heard it all the way carrying you to your bed."

I blushed and turned away as he let out a laugh. "Sorry, I didn't intend for it to be so loud. And thank you for carrying me to my bed."

I had prepared myself for another scolding from him. Why, the last thing I remembered before passing out, he was talking my ear off about how I should balance my meal out and how I should take care of myself. It was nothing new, really. I got lectured at all the time, about many different things. How I should be studying, even though I got perfect scores at school. How I should be calling my family every week, even though they would simply reply in anger and mockery. How I should be trying harder to surpass my peers, or to get a job. How I should this, and how I should that.

Yet the lecture never came. Instead, the bowl of ramen appeared on my lap.

"Are your hands working properly now? They aren't shaking, are they?"

I looked back, only to see him touching my palm, holding it up carefully.

"Do you need me to feed you?"

His question voiced a real concern for me. Hideyoshi was already on the way of taking the chopsticks from me to carry on with the "feed Alice" mission, but I snapped back to reality on time.

"I- I can do it. My hands are fine now." I answered in haste, bringing a chopstick of noodle to my mouth.

"Is that so?" Relief brushed through his face. He simply smiled at me, in the purest smile possible. "That's good then."

As soon as the noodle touched my taste bud, my whole body reacted in joy. Food, food! I could even hear the chants of the cells, welcoming the new source of energy coming to the land of nothingness. Not only that, Hideyoshi mixed the perfect spices for the ramen. It was neither salty nor too spicy, just enough spices to bring out the flavors hidden in both the meat and the vegetables.

"Wow, this is really delicious!" I exclaimed after several bites. "How did you do that?!"

"Haha, it's just a simple bowl of ramen. There's no need to look so happy, you will make me regret that I haven't cooked anything fancier than that."

Despite what he said, his eyes clearly showed that he was satisfied with his work.

"Have you had dinner?"

"Of course I have. I figured if you were to wake up in the middle of the night feeling hungry, I should prepare myself for that. You can't feed someone else if you yourself is hungry." He glanced at me, the look alone made me feel guilty. "I know how to take care of myself, unlike certain someone."

"I am sorry." I looked down to escape his glance, feeling like someone just weighed my inside down. It wasn't just guilt from his concern for me, but also guilt from something in the past. Something related to my past love. Hideyoshi's words just now resembled him too much, that I even felt disgusted at myself.

My ex-boyfriend, whom I broke up last year.

"Sorry, I'm not hungry anymore." I set the bowl down, leaving a third of the food untouched. "I have lost my appetite. It's way past dinner time anyway. Thank you for cooking. I will wash the dishes. You can sleep on my bed."

Words came out of me like a machine. I grabbed the tray and ran down to the kitchen, leaving Hideyoshi's calling my name behind. I couldn't take it. All the sentiments of my previous relationships had left me feeling it would be okay to be single. To be by myself. Because I was strong after all. I could do this on my own.

Why did Hideyoshi have to come? Why did he have to stir up my life? Why did he have to say such kind words, showed me that unwavering concern that he truly cared about me?

He was fine as a character in the game. I didn't mind all the cliché romantic lines, because I was protected by a screen. He wouldn't break my heart, that was my thoughts, because he was a 3D character. 3D characters never disappoint you, that's a fact. But now...

Now he is a real man standing in front of me. There was no guarantee how he would react, no producer to guarantee he wouldn't explode if things went wrong, no fandom to voice my feelings for me if something went off rail.

Because I understood it all too well. Real life guys came by, whispering sweet and kind words in your ears, sweeping you off your feet with their actions. The moment you believed they were the ones, things started to go wrong. They would change their attitude, they would care less about you, only call you when they feel like it. If something broke out, they would blame you. You were always the ones in the wrong. Look at me, I am trying my best to put things together, but here you are, refusing to speak. Did you think a few texts could resolve everything? Stop running away from the problem. You are the problem!

"Arisu. Arisu!"

The voice came so estranged to me that I didn't realize he was calling me. After all, that wasn't my name. But I recognized his voice, so I turned around.

"What's wrong? You're leaving the water running. I understand that this world is a much better world, but... Wouldn't that waste the resource?"

Hideyoshi was standing behind me, looking at me with concern. Again.

"You're right. I'm sorry." I reached up to turn off the faucet. The sink was filled with bubbly water, thanks to my spacing out.

"Are you sure you've had enough? You didn't finish your meal. That was not a lot."

"I'm fine, really." I brushed off his words, continued to focus on doing the dishes. "Why aren't you sleeping? You don't have to be up with me."

"I can't take the bed. That's yours to sleep in." He protested.

"I can't let my guest sleep on the floor. Besides, I had enough sleep. I will stay up to do some work at my desk." I nudged him. I didn't believe I would fall back to sleep anyway, not at this random hour of the night.

Hideyoshi didn't speak, and neither did I. Between us was the sound of the clock ticking on the wall, along with mixed noises of animals around the neighborhood outside.

After what felt like eternity, he finally spoke up. His voice was not loud – he showed no sign of frustration. The words came out slowly and calmly, whispered into my ears in the middle of the night. His voice was that of a deadly honey, with just the right tone to make any woman in this world fall for him.

"If you decided to stay up, I will stay up with you. I'm a warlord, and I'm not foreign with keeping watch during the night. What kind of warrior would I be if I sleep comfortably in bed, while a lady stays up and works? No matter how you think about it, that's just ridiculous."

When he put it like that, it really convinced me that such a sight would be strange. He was a trained soldier – a general, at that – and this was a world of peace. Simply living would already be too easy for him. He would have had no trouble staying up nights after nights to direct an army, why would he be affected if he stayed up one night doing nothing?

"Do as you like." I answered, putting the last plate on the drying rack.

I moved back into my bedroom, and he followed. I sat down on my desk, he settled himself on the red furry chair next to my desk, looking perfectly satisfied with the fluffiness of the chair. I went on with my assignments at school, fully aware of the presence of a man inside my room. His scent filled the space, a scent that I could not describe with words. What was it again? The smell of dry leaves. Iron weapons, probably his sword. His kimono, folded nicely next to him. A muscular scent, from his own body, next to all of these.

Hideyoshi sat perfectly still, like a statute. I didn't mean to look at him, but my eyes found themselves wander toward the chair anyway.

"What's wrong?" He would ask every time that happened, breaking the silence. I would turn back to my work, trying to ignore him again, only to find myself looking back.

"Do you hate me for meddling with your business? For making it sound like you couldn't take care of yourself?"

I looked up from my laptop screen. His hazelnut eyes were fixated on me, eager for an answer. He looked like an abandoned puppy.

"No, that's not it." I looked back down, wondering if he could have made out any emotions in my eyes if I were to continue looking. "I just... The problem is not you. It's me, really."

He stopped, but I knew he had wanted to ask me for more. He just didn't know if he should do it, for fear that he would overstep my boundaries.

"I..." I sighed. Maybe I should just tell him straight out. "You resembled my ex-boyfriend a lot, so I was taking it out on you, even though you were so kind. Sorry."

"Ex-boyfriend?"

"Yes, ex-boyfriend. Boyfriends are people who girls date. You know, like lovers." I explained.

"Why would you even have multiple boyfriends??" He exclaimed, clearly trying to find a logical place in his head for modern ideas.

"We date, then if it doesn't work out, we break up. We will no longer be lovers. Just strangers."

"Would boyfriend be your significant someone?"

"In a way, yes. But not really. That would be more like a husband."

"Ah, that part makes sense." He smiled. "But why strangers though?"

"It's complicated." I closed my laptop, finding no motivation to finish my assignment anymore. "When people date, they get to know a lot about each other. About the good, and about the bad. You would hold them dear to your heart, right? Then when we break up, it feels like that person who was standing so close to your heart just conveniently pull out a knife and stab you right there. A fatal hit. It should have killed you instantly. But no, instead you would turn your heart into stone, making in impossible for that person or anyone else to hit it again. That being said, you would also close up all the gates for people to enter into your heart."

Though in my case, 2D characters always got a free-pass to my heart, because my heart knew they would never hurt me.

"That sounds terrible." He commented. "Is that what happened to you and your... ex-boyfriend?"

"Who knows?" I shrugged. Confessing how I was wounded in my past to another guy was still foreign to me, even to Hideyoshi.

Realizing that I had made the atmosphere heavier, I stood up from my desk and grabbed a candle from one of my drawers. The label said "spring showers". The candle gave out the green smell of a freshly washed forest, dancing with a sweet aroma from flowers.

I lit up the candle, setting it on my desk, between him and me. The candle was small, but the light it gave managed to spread through the whole room.

"You don't have to worry about anything that I've just said. Just be yourself. You have the right to do what you want. My problems are mine to resolve."

I said to him as if this was a matter of changing a broken light bulb. Take it out, put a new one in, then all would be well.

"I understand what you're going through."

What he'd said completely took me off guard. My fingers were already on the way of pressing the PLAY button on the music player. The sound of piano crept into the air as he continued to speak.

"In Azuchi, many girls have confessed their love to me. They said I have been so kind to them, and they would love to marry me, to be my wife."

I thought Hideyoshi was supposed to be single?

"Of course, I rejected them all. I couldn't accept their love, even though they were all wonderful ladies. As someone who serves Lord Nobunaga, my top priority has to be him all the time. I wouldn't have time to spend with them, if I were to return their feelings. I have made many of them cry. Some of them would even lock themselves in their rooms, refusing to eat anything for days. I was the one who broke their hearts, yet I couldn't see any other resolutions. It was like a two-way road – with Lord Nobunaga on one side and the girls on the other side. I can't go one way without turning my back to the other."

So he was single. I breathed a sigh of relief.

Wait, why was I relieved? He basically said to my face that he loved Nobunaga more than any other girl! Okay, that might have not been his exact words, but they all meant the same thing, right? (No.)

"I'm just trying to say..." He scratched his head, perplexity in his eyes. "I understand that love is not simple. You may make mistakes or fall into one of the bomb holes and lose your way. We all get haunted by our past. It's not like everyday you can stand up tall and become unbeatable. We try, but we still get beaten up sometimes. It's a long process, you know? So don't be too harsh on yourself. It's not a problem. Everyone goes through it. It's just a phase."

Finally, someone said it! Someone actually said it to my face, instead of just my internet friends who were super supportive towards me at all times. Someone real.

Partially real.

"Thank you, Hideyoshi."

"Huh? Why?"

"You are one of very few people who actually acknowledge how hard it is to live, to love. To do the right thing. Many times, the answers are clear. But they are not always easy to do. It's not easy to do the right thing and come out unscathed."

It wasn't easy to be strong. I knew that. But just imagine being strong all the time, getting hurt, and no one else around you even noticed that you were forcing yourself to fight through the day, through the emotions and things that harmed you, through the storm that just kept wrapping around you without letting go.

"People around me often came up to me and said, 'That's it, right? Now it's over, get up and work. Do something useful.' I mean, sure, I can get up. But let me first deal with these mess inside my life, then once I untangle them, I will be back to work, 100% ready. Wouldn't that work?"

Hideyoshi kept quiet the whole time, and I went on and on about my past relationship, unknowingly. I told him about how I met this nice guy, how kind and caring he was, how he was everything to me. I told him about our fights, our arguments, and how I ran away from all those conflicts, seeking a place to clear my mind from all the troubles. I told him about how we broke up, through thousand miles across the planet, all wrapped up in all the texts I had sent. I told him about how I denied all of my ex's calls, fearing to speak up in the needed time.

Hideyoshi didn't judge me. I hadn't thought I would just pour out like that. He was looking at me in a way that urged me to continue my story. I couldn't resist. When I was with him, I didn't feel like myself at all, even when all that he did was looking at me with kindness.

He would be the dead of me, because I could lose my control around him.

We continued throughout the night. Neither of us fell asleep. We just kept talking, laughing at jokes, sharing things that you could only talk about at night. He patiently listened to me, chimed in only when he felt the need to, and just like that, another morning came.