Almost six o' clock na ng umaga ng maghiwalay kami ni Althea.

I dropped her off sa hotel nila kasi alam kong pagod na siya after her concert and then sa aming night out sa beach.

We were inside my blue Honda roadster and the first time she saw it, hindi nito maitago ang admiration niya.

"Do you race?" tanong nito and my answer was a simple nod.

Thankfully hindi niya ako kinulit kasi I wasn't ready to reveal anything about that particular hobby of mine.

In the beginning, people are impressed that I do lalo na ang mga guys.

Then slowly, they get intimidated or have preconceived ideas about racing and racers.

So I try not to talk about it lalo na kung hindi naman kailangang pag-usapan.

Merong isang bagay na kinukulit sa akin si Althea.

Hindi ito pumayag na hindi ko ibigay ang phone number ko aside from one more request na I find endearing.

"Selfie talaga?" tanong ko as Althea moved closer to the driver seat to take our picture.

"Oo," sagot nito.

"I want to freeze this moment in time," dagdag pa nito as she positioned her phone for a better angle.

At hindi ito nakuntento sa isa lang.

She continuously pressed the button kaya we have a succession of photographs in varying poses.

Merong wacky, pacute at lovey-dovey with Althea and I pretending to kiss each other.

"Hmmm..." she said as she checked the pictures.

"Puro almost kiss naman karamihan," parang disappointed ito.

Napangiti lang ako sa sinabi niya.

"You have to earn the real one," I told her as she got back on her seat.

"I will do that," sabi nito as she looked at me.

I could see na she's smitten with me and it's so adorable how she tried to control her feelings but her beautiful dark brown eyes always gave her away.

Without saying anything, I leaned closer and kissed her on the cheek.

Nagulat ito at walang nasabi.

"Hayan na," I said to her.

"Will that be enough to tide you over till you get a real one?" I teased.

Tumango ito ng paulit-ulit at kitang-kita ko sa mukha niya na she was very happy.

"I'd better go," she placed her hand on the car door to open it but I held her back by pulling her hand.

Tiningnan ako ni Althea with a frown on her face.

"Thank you," I said to her.

"No," she replied.

"I should be the one to thank you for....this," sabi nito.

She paused for a bit bago nagsalita ulit.

"I have forgotten how it feels to be truly happy Jade," there was a sadness in her voice and I got curious.

Mukhang may pinaghuhugutan si Althea and I could feel her pain.

"Pero that's a story for next time," binuksan na nito ang pinto at naiwan akong nabitin sa kwento niya.

"Ang daya mo naman eh," kunwaring maktol ko.

"Bakit hindi mo pa sabihin ngayon?" pamimilit ko.

Pero mukhang desidido si Althea not to tell me.

"Para you will agree to go out with me again," she explained.

Since bukas ang pinto, pumasok ang malamig na hangin sa loob ng kotse and I shivered a little.

Sinara niya ulit ito.

"Hay...."

"I think this is going to be the longest goodbye," sabi ni Althea as she locked the door again.

"Would you like to go dancing with me tonight?" she asked.

"Sige ba," I willingly answered.

Kahit di pa kami nakapagpapahinga, ready na ako ulit lumabas with her until I remembered something.

"Hindi pa ba kayo babalik sa Maynila?" I asked.

Althea shook her head.

"We'll be here for five days pa to unwind," she replied.

"And then what?" follow-up question ko.

"Is this an interview?" she stuck her tongue at me at natawa ako sa childish reaction niya.

"When we go back to Manila, we'll be preparing for our next major tour," she revealed.

"A tour?" on overdrive na ang curiosity ko.

"Yes," sagot niya.

"The last time we had a big concert was when I turned 18,"

"Debutante Tour ang title ng concert na yun which was appropriately named after my 18th birthday."

"This time, it will be called The Lucky 7 Tour,"

"Lucky 7?"

"That's how long I've been in the business," she explained.

"I see," tumango ako sa kanya.

I glanced at the dashboard and saw na  almost one hour na pala nag lumipas since we got to the hotel.

"Naku, anong petsa na Althea?" Medyo alalang nasabi ko.

"Do you really want to let me go?" tanong nito sa akin and there was a mischievous look in her eyes.

Nginitian ko siya.

"I don't pero we have to," I replied.

"Besides, I want to go dancing with you tonight at kailangan nating magpahinga para may energy tayo," I explained.

"I challenged you to a dance-off," hamon ko sabay kindat sa kanya.

"Ah ganun pala ha?"

"Baka mapasubo ka Jade," nakangiti ito at parang eager na patunayan na I will lose the challenge.

"We will see later," I told her.

"For now," I unlocked the car door. "Your bed is calling you," I playfully pushed her out the door and she pretended to be hurt.

"Huwag ka na mag-object," sabi ko sa kanya.

"Longest goodbye na nga di ba?" paalala ko.

"Kapag nagkwentuhan na naman tayo, we'll be sitting here for god-knows-how-long." Paliwanag ko sa kanya.

"Okay fine," binuksan na nito ang pinto and then turned to look at me again.

"Walang goodbye kiss?" hirit pa nito at natawa ako.

"Sige na nga," I agreed and I was about to kiss her on the cheek when she moved her head.

The kiss landed on her lips at pareho kaming natigilan pero napangiti si Althea.

"Mga style mo talaga," yun na lang ang nasabi ko sa kanya as she got out of the car.

"I miss you already," sabi nito bago tuluyang sinara ang pinto.

I only smiled at her.

The truth was I don't want Althea to leave.

I didn't want the time with her to end pero I don't want her to think that I'm clingy.

I am never clingy, not with anyone or my ex-boyfriend.

But with her, it was hard to detach myself.

Parang may magnet pulling me to her and the thought scared me a bit.

As I drove away, I saw her standing on the side of the road watching as my car pulled away.

She waved at me one more time and then she was gone.

***

When I got home, Dada was waiting for me by the door with a look of disapproval on his face.

I walked to where he was to give him a kiss on the cheek and parang bato lang ito sa pagkakatayo.

"Saan ka galing magdamag?" tanong nito agad.

Hindi man lang nagtanong kung kumain na ako or if I'm okay.

Diretso na agad.

"I was with a friend," I answered as I made my way to my room.

"Jade, come back here!" sigaw ni Dada and I closed my eyes in frustration.

"Dada, can we talk about this later?" I pleaded.

Sakto naming bumaba si Mama from upstairs at ng makita ako, ngumiti ito sa akin.

"Nandito ka na pala anak," alalang sabi nito sabay lapit sa akin to give me a kiss on the cheek.

"Nag-alala kami sa'yo," mahinahong sabi nito sa akin and I felt guilty kahit I texted her last night to

tell her I'm fine.

"Yan ang hindi maintindihan ni Jade," sabat ni Dada.

Nilingon siya ni  Mama and told him to give me a break.

"Oscar, pagpahingahin mo muna ang anak mo and then mamaya na natin siya kausapin okay?"

Mama told me to go upstairs and change.

"Gusto mo ba ng breakfast?" pahabol na tanong nito bago ako umakyat sa kuwarto ko sa third floor.

"Mamaya na lang po ako kakain," sagot ko.

Tumango lang ito.

As I was climbing the stairs, I heard Dada told her na kaya lumalakas ang loob ko ay dahil sa

kinukunsinti ako lagi ni Mama.

Napailing na lang ako.

Kung wala si Mama or kung pareho silang strikto, baka matagal na akong nabaliw.

***

When I reached my room, I undressed and then headed straight for the bathroom.

As the cold water touched my skin, parang nagising ang katawan ko.

I thought of what happened the night before with Althea.

The experience was eye opening kasi her world was totally different from mine.

While she was exposed to the limelight, ako naman very sheltered ang existence.

My parents had to know where I'm going lalo na si Dada.

Hindi rin pwedeng pupunta sa mga parties ng walang chaperone lalo na when we were younger.

Si Kuya Gab at Paul, since older sa akin, maagang nakagraduate from curfews and chaperones.

At dahil lalake sila, hindi masyadong mahigpit si Dada which I find unfair lalo na when I was reaching

puberty at nao-observe ko ang mga nangyayari around me.

The truth was, they were allowed to go out as much as they want as long as they told our parents

where they are.

Pero hindi naman absolute yun dahil hindi naman santo ang dalawa kong kapatid.

For sure, meron silang mga kalokohang tinatago.

Lalo na si Kuya Paul.

I feel na meron siyang big secret at kung kelan niya ire-reveal yun, only time will tell.

Lagi ko kasi siyang nahuhuli na may kausap ng patago.

Hushed tones lagi ito at parang laging nagbablush.

Pero iba ang story when it comes to me.

Since I'm the only girl, mas mahigpit si Dada sa akin.

When I was younger, hindi ako pwede pumunta sa mga pajama parties ng friends ko sa school.

I know he had a good reason for doing so.

I've heard of scary stories about young girls being molested while in someone else's house when I

was older and I was thankful that my parents were careful about letting us sleep somewhere else.

Well, trusted at kilala naman namin ang mga family ng classmates ko pero Dada didn't want to take

the risk.

Lagi niyang sinasabi na it's better that we're safe.

"Nasa huli ang pagsisisi and ayokong mangyari yun," sabi niya sa amin before.

His attitude was passed on to us.

Kahit we tried to explore or dared to be adventurous, laging calculated ang risk.

When Gab went bungee jumping once, he did a thorough research sa place to make sure na walang

mangyayari sa kanya.

I found it weird kasi safety is relative lalo na since he was tempting fate by trying dangerous sports.

Hindi pa tumigil sa bungee jumping.

Nagsky diving din ito and car racing.

Pati ako, naimpluwensiyahan niya sa racing when he invited us once to watch him.

Gab did it without the knowledge of Dada and Mama pero eventually nalaman din naman nila dahil

siyempre, my father has eyes and ears everywhere.

Pinagalitan si Gab pero hindi naman masyado.

Parang proud pa nga si Dada dahil sa lakas ng loob ni Gab to try something dangerous.

Si Paul naman, opposite ni Kuya Gab.

He's into arts, music and fashion.

It sounds cliché pero yun ang hilig niya kahit noong mga bata pa kami.

The most time he was into sports was during PE classes niya.

May nararamdaman ako kay Paul pero I don't want to ask him.

Kahit kapatid ko siya at feel ko na baka bading siya, I can't do his outing for him.

I did my research before.

Coming out is a journey and the person had to do it themselves dahil it's a complicated process.

Another thing he's into is working out.

Kaya naman ang pecs at abs, panalo.

Ang  mga girls swoon over him pero deadma sila.

Kasi nga, alam na kung ano talaga ang gusto niya.

***

Ako naman, I was never into girls.

That is until I met Althea.

Iba ang hatak sa akin ng rakista.

Hindi ko maamin na napanganga ako as she was doing the riffs for Nirvana's song.

Ang limber ng mga daliri.

I wonder how it feels to be touched by her?

Bigla akong kinilig hindi dahil sa malamig na tubig kundi dahil sa I imagined her calloused fingers

against my back.

I could be her human guitar.

Stop it Jade!

I turned the tap off at lumabas na ng shower.

Baka kung ano pa ang magawa ko, mahirap na.

Pero yun ang totoo.

There is something intriguing about Althea.

Kapag tinititigan niya ako, I feel weak in the knees.

Very soulful naman kasi makatingin.

I could get lost in those dark brown eyes and won't mind not coming back where I'm from.

I didn't like lying to her about my parents being okay with me staying out too late pero I really want to

spend more time with her.

I feel so free kapag kasama ko siya.

As if everything is possible.

Go getter din si Althea kaya kahit saan ko yayain, mukhang oo lang ang sagot.

Well, obvious naman kung bakit di ba?

She likes me at hindi na nagpakiyeme ito.

Sinabi na agad na gusto akong ligawan.

That to me is new.

Wala pang babaeng nanligaw sa akin at hindi din ako nanligaw or tumingin sa babae in a way na

kakaiba.

Hindi ko nga matandaan kung meron akong girl crush.

Sa tingin ko kay Althea, hindi nito kailangan manligaw.

Nakita ko ang kanyang adoring fans.

Wait, understatement yan--legion of fans.

If she wants to, she can take her pick.

Ang dami ding mga attractive girls who wants her attention.

They are literally throwing themselves at her feet.

Pero Althea doesn't see them.

Paano nga ba naman sila mapapansin eh sa akin laging nakatingin?

Ang haba ng hair mo Jade.

Hindi lang shampoo ang gamit mo baka may fertilizer din.

Natawa ako sa naisip ko.

For my part, hindi ko din naman diniscourage si Althea.

But it's not because I want to experiment with her.

It's because I feel something for her too.

The more I realize what it is, the more I want her in my life.

The thought scared me because I never felt something this strong for someone.

I think I am quickly falling for her kahit we just met pa lang.

This is a risk I couldn't calculate dahil when it comes to the heart everything is tricky.

***