Chapter 11

You pushed me down the cliff thinking you were saving me from the demons that were chasing us. Now you say you're sorry.

Vee

24th April 2019, Wednesday
15:50

The only person I approved of was not here when she needed him and I was to be blamed for the wreck. Ashiamma had wanted peace but she had also wanted assurance that no one would judge her after Shay's friendly allegations. She had wanted someone to tell her that he would not believe in the rumours. She had specifically wanted a he.

"How did I not see that coming?" she had said.

I had stayed quiet as usual. I had nothing to say. Consoling, sugary words and even insults had not worked. Everytime I had glanced at her, her teary eyes tucked at my heart. So when I had seen Rishab in her house, I had lost my cool. Anyone in my position would. It was the betrayal on her part that now pricked me.

Ashiamma had known about her brother and her boyfriend. She had found that very day but she hadn't uttered a single word in all these months. My chest hurt. I had spent days wiping off her tears and telling her she was the perfect friend I could ever have. I had spent hours handling the work myself which we both were supposed to do because she had been going through that post breakup phase or whatever it was called. I had failed to decipher her behaviour then. I was failing to decipher it now.

'She's dead anyway,' my mind said. 'Does it matter?'

That was why I did not want to think about the circumstances of her death, it mattered. That was the problem, it was not supposed to matter. I needed a drink badly but I also needed to attend the idiot who was constantly ringing my phone.

A message popped up. I'm outside.

I grunted and left my room to welcome my guest. Hardik grinned at me as soon as I opened the door. I did not return it. He was supposed to be here before.

"Why did you call if you were going to show up anyway?" I asked.

"That is not a warm welcome," he replied and stepped into my house, pushing me in.

"How was your trip? Did you enjoy the east coast? If you're still hungover, we can pretend to be in that happy bubble you're drifting inside," I said and sat down.

He stared at me with a frown.

"Stop being modest and sit down. You are already here." I pulled him down.

"How much did I miss?" He asked.

I laughed. He was not ready for this. "Are you asking me that question while I'm sober?"

He did not know what I meant. Of course he didn't. I had been in shock after finding out about Ashiamma. I remembered it vividly, standing at the podium and the only words I had said were the first two letters of my name. I had broken down then, looking at Kiara's broken face, the empty space where Ashiamma was supposed to be.

"Your girlfriend is dead," I stated.

Hardik shook his head. "Man, I'm serious. You're joking."

I raised an eyebrow.

He scoffed. "I return from the railway station to my house and directly call you. You don't pick up. I visit you and you're treating me with that attitude. Keep it for the people at school. Get to the point. Did I do something wrong?"

I shook my head. "Maybe, maybe not."

He sighed. "Vicky, how did you go from 'I'm sober' to 'Your girlfriend is dead'?"

I leaned forward and said, "Hardik, Ashiamma is no more."

He gave me an incredulous look.

"What was the last thing she said to you?" I asked.

"Have a good trip. I'll wait for you," he mumbled, slumping back. "I don't believe you. We talked on her birthday."

"And then? Did you talk after that?"

"We both were busy. I promised her I'll visit her after I return."

He would visit her after he had met me and Mehak. He would visit her if she was there in the first place.

I stared at him. "Call her."

He clenched his jaw and fished out his phone, his hands trembling. I snatched the phone out of his grip and dialled Ashiamma's number. As soon as the line connected, Hardik grinned.

"Hello," came Roy's voice.

I raised an eyebrow at Hardik and cut the line.

"Roy," I answered him before he could ask. "He is an annoying police officer looking into Ashiamma's case."

He blinked at my words but said nothing. We sat there in silence. I analyzed his face. This guy was my best friend, my brother and the first person I had talked to at Dandelion Presidency. He was the guy who bunked classes with me. We both shared the pleasure of standing outside the class when an argument with the teacher did not settle well. He was Ashiamma's boyfriend who I introduced after Rishab's dramatic exit. He was also the guy who did not date Ashiamma because he wanted to but because I asked him to.

"When?" He asked.

"11th."

He looked at me. "11th of April?"

I nodded.

He scoffed. "It was her birthday."

"She was taken to hospital that night and the next day, everyone found out. Only a few people knew. Kiara told me. Papa found out before me but he asked everyone to shut their mouths. Do you want something to drink?" I asked because neither of us were ready for this.

He looked at the door and nodded. "I brought my car."

16:15

"That's your second glass," I pointed.

Hardik shoved my finger away and continued to drink. It was not alcohol, plain cold drink. I had not touched mine. Hardik gestured to the waiter to bring another.

I folded my arms. "I'm not paying."

His hand shuffled through the pockets of his jeans and brought out a few notes of money.

"There you go," he said.

After we settled into the restaurant, I told it all to him. There was nothing to tell, honestly.

"I don't believe that the police found nothing. How is that even possible?" he said.

I shrugged. "There is nothing to find. Most people are saying it was sui-"

"No! I do not agree. I knew her, okay? She could never do that. Vicky, it is your friend we're talking about. How can you say that so casually? Ash never did anything without giving a heads up."

I said nothing. How could I say so casually? Maybe because I knew I would go home and see her standing in a white dress covered in blood.

"I am sure the police have something but they're just not telling us," Hardik said.

"Roy came to school yesterday. I met him at the gate. I think he talked to Kiara too. Sh-"

"How is she doing? You three were pretty close," he mumbled into his drink.

"She was ready to lurch at me," I said. Hardik raised an eyebrow. I smirked. So much for being close. "Roy told her about Ash wanting to apologize for something."

He stopped drinking. "For what?"

I shrugged. "Kiara thinks I told him that. I didn't. I found out myself."

"Did you ask her family?"

I paused and glanced at him. It was not my place to tell about Rishab and Sameer so I shook my head. I realized at that moment that I had not asked any of them about it. I had gone there to tell Sameer about Roy and got pulled into something entirely different.

Hardik continued to ramble on about Ashiamma. His eyes were beginning to fill with tears. I could not speak for the rest of the world but I knew all those who had known her were more than just sorry.

"What about Shay?"

Her face flashed in front of my eyes, the small smile that could light a billion eyes, that always hid something. I didn't even know if I'd be seeing that again. "Uh-" I cleared my throat. "She had an accident."

Hardik choked on his drink, wheezing loudly. "I was gone for two months, two damn months."

"It happened a few days back. She was leaving the city and it was a road accident. She has been discharged. I heard today in school."

"Leaving? As in permanently?"

I shrugged again, not wanting to think about it. About Shay, or Ashiamma, or Kiara. I had three girls in my life, three friends and all three were gone.

"You really do not know anything. Stop drowning in sorrow and start doing something, Vicky. Ashiamma has died and we don't even know how."

I froze.

"Are we going to do something or not?"

I licked my lips and nodded. "How about you visit Mehak just like you promised?"

He scowled. "She did not tell me anything."

"Hardik," I said, stretching my neck. "I'd advise you both to lay low for some time. Please don't do anything stupid. You're still Ashiamma's boyfriend."

He clenched his jaw. "I'm not crazy, Vicky. Just because she's dead does not mean I'm going to declare Mehak as my girlfriend."

I played with the fork. "You better not. Ashiamma was like my sister." I knew it was all my fault but she deserved to be respected.

My heart sank further as I thought of Mehak, her uncanny look. She looked rather relieved to be free. Now that Ashiamma was no more, she did not have to pretend like she approved of her and Hardik. The hair on my arm rose at the memory of her calm posture. At the same time, I was thankful. I did not have to worry about Kiara. Mehak had her back. Hardik got up to pay the bill. I stared at the road. He wanted me to do something but hadn't I already done enough damage?

My phone rang.

"Who is it?" Hardik asked, as he returned.

I picked it up. "Sameer?"

He sobbed. "Ash...it was..."

"What is it, Sameer?"

Hardik gestured to me, asking if everything was fine. I tilted my head to the door and mouthed him to leave.

"It was a suicide. She did it."

"I need you to do me a favour," I said to Hardik. "Date Ashiamma. Pretend you like her."

Looking back at it, I felt foolish to say the least. I laughed at the obscure idea to save Ashiamma while Sameer's sobs continued.

"Vicky," Hardik called.

"You were stupid to agree to the idea," I said. "But I am worse."