The next day was back to work for the both of us. My two days off were through and who knew when the next time we both would be off would be. Levi left before I even woke up leaving a note on the counter. I picked up the paper and read it.

"Eren, shoot me a text after you take your meds I want to make sure you remember to take them. Also, have a good day at work babe hopefully I'll see you tonight before bed~ sincerely your loving husband." After I finished reading the note I got straight to taking my med. I couldn't let Levi down, not again.

I took my meds and sent him a text with a two emojis a pill and a thumbs up. I don't know what it is, but even just the thought of typing out a message seemed like too much effort. It must be really bad today. Maybe it's because I just know we will be in the same rhythm as before. Going all day without seeing each other for more than 5 minutes. When we started living together I thought that meant spending more time with each other, and when we got married I thought that would mean spending my life with him. That just doesn't seem to be the case. It seems I'm spending my life without him which is ironic since I only feel like I'm actually really living when I'm with him.

This morning it was so hard to convince myself to get out of bed, it was even harder to finally make myself hop in the shower and get dressed. It all took so much effort that I couldn't even force myself to make something to eat before leaving for work.

I knew it would come back to bite me in the ass. I was working another double tonight courtesy of the jackass who quit yesterday and refuses to come in to finish his two weeks, on top the guy who got fired a week ago. Our short staff just got shorter and despite the help wanted sign no one is applying.

I can tell how stressed my boss is, and I know it's not her fault that I'm getting scheduled so much, I mean we all are. She's trying so hard, but those dicks are just making her job harder. I'm just hoping more people start applying.

I head into work and go about my shift as normal. Any minute now is all I keep thinking. Any minute now my meds should kick in and my depression should start feeling at least a little better, but it never comes. Which leads me to two separate thoughts. Thought one: my meds that were only half working have suddenly stopped working all together now. Or thought two: my depression is worse than I realize and my meds are helping but it's so bad it feels like they aren't.

Either way, I know one thing for sure... Today is going to be a long day. I should've probably seen a doctor and ask why my meds aren't working as well as before, but then again I just couldn't be bothered. Well, it's not that I couldn't be bothered, but rather that I just couldn't bring myself to make the effort. I hate that that's how I feel because it makes me sound lazy. I'm not lazy, it's just my depression makes me so tired and sucks the life out of me to the point that even breathing seems like a difficult task. It makes doing the most mundane things impossible like showering or even getting out of bed. I don't know how many times I've collapsed because I had just forgotten to feed myself for days at a time.

Honestly, I think that's the real reason that I don't want kids, not that I hate them or that I'm against them, but just that I can't even take care of myself so how could I take care of someone who is too young to take care of themselves.

It makes Levi's life a lot harder too. I mean he shouldn't have to be a babysitter to me. "Eren did you take your meds? Eren did you eat something? Eren are you staying hydrated?" These shouldn't be the constant things he has to ask me. He shouldn't have to feel obligated to as these almost daily.

"Excuse me," I was pulled out of my spiraling thoughts by a small voice. I looked around and there at my bar a young lady had sat down. Oops, how long was she sitting there?

"I'm sorry what can I get you," I said slapping on a fake smile and getting to work.

She placed her order and not long after another girl had joined her. Her friend wasn't as soft-spoken as she was, her voice was shrill and slurred. I could tell by their conversation that there meeting up wasn't going according to plan. The soft-toned girl was apparently just stopping in on her lunch break for a light martini meeting up with her friend who she didn't know was already shit-faced at 1 in the afternoon.

Who gets drunk this early? I mean alcoholics, but I don't know she didn't seem like a usual alcoholic to me. Mostly because she seemed to be a lightweight with how much she told her friend she drank there is no way she could be an alcoholic.

I shrugged it off and served the next customer who wandered into the bar. That was until my attention got dragged back to the two girls. "Hey hot stuff," she let out an ear-splitting yell to get my attention.

I hesitantly turned around. It's not my first time getting catcalled by a drunk girl. I always felt bad for the girls who worked here cause they got it ten times as bad, but usually, when they get catcalled I can easily intervene because even if they don't listen to me they will sure listen to the biker gang members who adore me. However, girls hitting on me... that doesn't invoke the same reaction out of people. It just makes it awkward if I turn them down since typically men are supposed to like girls especially drunk ones, but frankly I find that a disturbing stereotype.

"My friend thinks you look sexy and wants your number," she told me. Before I could even say anything the other girl's face went bright red and she started apologizing for her friend's behavior.

"I'm so sorry sir, she's just drunk and doesn't know what she's talking about," she quickly mumbled.

"No you told me you think he's hot," she said persistently before turning back to me, "so aren't you going to give her your number."

"Sorry," I turned towards the embarrassed and quiet girl, "It's nice to hear that you think I look attractive, but I'm already taken," I gave her a kind smile hoping that would appease her drunk friend, but I thought wrong.

"You're only taken if you're married and I don't see a ring on your finger," she said and I had to stop myself from rolling my eyes at her ignorance and blatant stupidity.

I lift the ring on my necklace, "my wedding ring is right here," I said with a blank expression. I held back any sort of anger that she was making me have. Her friend clearly was embarrassed and didn't like her meddling, but still, she continues. I never understand these types of people.

"First off you aren't wearing your wedding ring on your finger which means your fair game, secondly who cares if your married have you seen how hot my friend is," she said pointing back to her.

I just stared at her trying to ignore the arrogant nature and rude comments. Her friend does seem like a sweetheart who doesn't want any part of this, but she just can't get the hint.

"Well, your friend is a very lovely lady but-," bitch didn't even let me finish my sentence.

"But what, but nothing. You should give my friend a shot!" She said raising her voice. Her poor friend has given up and just put her head down on the counter and she looks like she's having a rough time.

"I don't think she's my type," I started to say. I wanted to break it to them easily but she keeps cutting me off.

"What do you mean she's not your type. Hot young women aren't your type?" She asked practically leaning over the bar to get in my face.

"I mean she doesn't have a dick," I said getting frustrated and silencing her right then and there.

"What?" She looked so dumbfounded.

"Women aren't my type in general," I said more calmly this time.

"He's gay you dumb whore," her friend who had gone from dying of embarrassment to laughing at her friend's stupidity had practically choked on her own laughter.

"Oh," she said so quietly. "My bad." She sat down looking so broken and embarrassed. Her friend was trying to apologize but was laughing too hard to get another word out.

"That's what you get for being stupid," she laughed.

My regulars seemed to be laughing their asses off from there tables. Glad I could be so amusing. My regulars have long known about my sexuality and some of them even tell me if anyone ever gives me shit for it to point them out and they won't be an issue anymore.

As nice as that offer is I don't want anything illegal happening since ya know my husband is kinda a cop. After getting off work I was right about skipping eating biting me in the ass. My stomach was already cramping up. When I got home I wanted to just crawl in bed, but I guess it depends on the level of pain I'm in. If my stomach hurts more than this then maybe, just maybe I might have to make something to eat.

I really didn't want to make something so I decided to just pick up some fast food. I tried not to do this since it was a bad habit, but I couldn't force myself to make anything and I didn't want to upset Levi by not eating all day. Because not eating for a whole day leads to not eating for a few days which leads to collapsing at random which leads to more worry for him.

I called Levi on the way home to see if he wanted anything. I pulled into the drive-thru right as he answered.

"Hey baby on your way home?" he asked.

"Just stopping to pick up food, want anything?" I told him where I was and he gave me a small order. Just as I was rolling down my window at the speaker a butterfly flew in my car. I didn't even think butterflies flew this late at night. Maybe it's as odd as I am? That's not the only strange thing about it. I've never really seen a black butterfly until now. As quickly as it came it went. It flew out when the voice came through the speaker and it disappeared into the blackness of the starless night sky.

I placed our order and headed home. Levi and I sat down and ate quickly before heading to bed even though I know you aren't supposed to eat right before bed, but I didn't really have much of an option this time.