Life, it's something you should never take advantage of. It's short and messy, yet full of adventure and wonder. That's how it all started, I took life for granted. I didn't appreciate it, but I hope you do.

I opened my eyes and looked around before checking the clock. It read 12:02 am, I must have dozed off, last I remember it was 11:23 pm. Levi still wasn't home? I sat up and sighed before getting up. I was about to head into our bedroom when I heard keys at the door.

The door opened and Levi walked in looking up at me. "Hey babe, what are you still doing up?" He asked before walking up and giving me a kiss.

"I wanted to wait for you so I could welcome you home, so um, welcome home," I said before throwing my arms around him.

"I love you brat," he said before picking me up and throwing me over his shoulder.

"What are you doing?"

"You're opening tomorrow, you have to get some sleep," he said before carrying me into the bedroom and setting me down on the bed. "I appreciate you waiting for me, but you need your sleep," he insisted before heading out of the room probably to grab something to eat.

I just sat on the bed with a pout on my face determined to stay awake until he came to bed. Next thing I knew I was waking up to my alarm so my plan to stay up must have worked so well. I sat up and let out an annoyed sigh. I was way too tired to go to work.

"Babe, can you please turn that off," Levi groaned next to me as he tried to shove his face farther into his pillow.

"Sorry," I whispered to him turning off the alarm. I slid out of bed and went to start my day. After I finished showering and getting ready I walked back in and placed a kiss on Levi's cheek before leaving, or that was the plan, but Levi wrapped his arms around my waist and wouldn't let me go.

"I have to go to work," I mumbled not really wanting to go. Anyone could hear how bleak my voice sounded. I just wanted to crawl back into bed and forget the day. However, if I did that then I would just be allowing depression to take hold again.

"When does your shift end?" He asked looking up at me. I could tell he was still a little groggy from sleep, but, he looked hopeful about something.

"Around 4."

He fully perked up as his lips moved to my ear nibbling on it for a moment before whispering to me. "So you mean I might actually get to see my husband for more than 5 minutes." I could tell he was excited.

"Yup, as long as they don't call you in."

"This has been my first real day off in almost two weeks, they're not calling me in. If they call I'm hanging up," he said and couldn't help but laugh. We would finally have a night to ourselves that wasn't overtaken by one of our work schedules.

"Well, maybe tonight we can finally have a date night?" I couldn't help but smile now maybe today wouldn't be that bad after all. Usually I never truly believe that tonight will be the night neither of us has to work because something always comes along. However, he seemed to be determined so I'll remain hopeful... for now.

"It's a date," he said before pulling me in for a kiss. "Now hurry up and leave so you can come back sooner."

"That's not how it works," I rolled my eyes but before I could leave Levi caught my wrist.

"Did you take your meds?" he asked quickly remembering to remind me to keep me on a better track than where I was taking myself.

I just stopped for a minute. He knew I had stopped taking them since my dad died and that's probably why my depression has been coming back worse than before. "I'll take them now," I sighed before grabbing my antidepressants and a quick bite to eat and heading to work. I did end up taking them but I don't know I feel like they only do half of what they used to since I stopped taking them. Maybe it's just because I'm still grieving.

I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder a little after my mom passed away. I mean, they were just telling me what I already knew. I might not have known the name of the mental disorder, but I knew I had something wrong with me. Especially after all those thoughts kept berating my head day in and day out.

Apparently, it wasn't normal to want to jump in front of traffic every moment of the day? Who knew? I definitely didn't know that. I'm just glad that my dad realized something was wrong. Then again he is a doctor so I guess it only makes sense for him to know something isn't right. He took me to see a mental help specialist and sure enough something was wrong with me.

My poor father, he tried his best after mom died, he really did. However, I still had to grow up fast. Mikasa and I both did. It was hard. We were left on our own for several hours, occasionally days at a time as dad worked himself to death to support us. All that stress really did a number on him. He aged ten years in the span of one. He always looked tired and he always seemed sore.

Once in a blue moon when he actually had a day off he would sit down for movie night only to fall asleep 15 minutes into the movie. We couldn't blame him, he was doing his best. As much as I thanked him and appreciated what he did it still doesn't feel like enough. Especially since he passed away. It feels like he wasted his life for mine, and my life is nothing compared to his.

He was a well-respected doctor who worked himself to death for his kids. I'm just a pathetic bartender who will never amount to anything more. If I could have given him the years I had left I would have. He was more important than me. He is the one that should be alive spending his life how he wants rather than me who is wasting mine.

I was almost done with my shift when my reason for giving my hopes up came in. My boss broke the news to me, lo and behold the universe keeping us apart once again. She pulled me aside and informed me that someone had just told her they were refusing to come in for there shift and they were short staffed. She regretfully told me that I was going to have to work a double shift.

I felt my heart sink, I was finally able to spend some time with Levi, but that hope was flushed down the drain. That's what I get for actually having plans and being excited for them. She apologized to me upon seeing the disappointment in my face. It was hard to blame her I mean it wasn't her fault, she wasn't the asshole who decided to ditch work for the second time this month. Some good news was that said asshole was getting fired, but of course, the good news comes with bad news. One less employee meant more work for the rest of us.

I asked her if I could step aside and tell my husband and she told me that was alright before heading back to work. I called up Levi who I knew was waiting for me to come home. I held back the disappointment in my voice as he answered.

"Hey, babe off work already?" He asked and I felt guilty for even suggesting a date night tonight. Not only was I destroying my own hopes up but now I have to tear Levi's down too.

"Not exactly," I sighed.

"Don't tell me," he groaned. Was I that obvious? Of course I was how could I not have been I was pissed.

"I'm sorry, some dick didn't show up for his shift," I took a breath holding back my anger and sadness. I was really looking forward to tonight and I could tell he was too.

"It's fine, it happens," he sighed, "how late do you have to work?" he asked. There was still some hope in his voice. It just made me angrier.

"Until around 11."

"Oh," there it was the last bit of hope that had been in his voice crushed beneath my response. Nothing like destroying your husbands hope to make you love your job.

"Sorry." I know he could tell how upset I was, but I just hope that he wasn't too angry about it later. Maybe if I finally quit then we could spend some time together? No, to quit I would have to find another job and I'm not good at anything else.

"It's not your fault, I'll see you when you get home tonight," he said and I felt like throwing my phone right then and there. I hated hearing him so disappointed especially because of me. I hated feeling so disappointed. I should have known that Levi and I would never get some damn alone time. I should have just stayed quiet this morning I mean seriously what was I thinking? Date night? As if, for both of us to be off it would have to be the end of the world or something. Nope, if it was the end of the world chances are Levi would still have to go to work.

"I love you, babe," I mumbled not even sure if he was still on the phone. I wouldn't be, I would have hung up so he wouldn't realize how upset I was.

"I love you to brat," he said and I heard the line cut off before I could say anything more. I angrily shoved my phone back in my pocket and got back to work. My voice was no longer cheerful, I wasn't even trying to kiss ass for tips anymore my tone was apathetic afraid that someone might hear just how upset I felt.

I mean people came to the bar to forget their problems not to hear about someone else's. Right now I just wish I was on the other end of the counter.