This chapter is dedicated to my ate unnie ilovebeingme07 hihi love love ateeee~ ♥♥♥

"La la la... La la la... Hmm.. Hmm..." Taehyung is humming while lighting up a candle infront of his father's grave. "Hello Appa, I'm here. Of course because I'm not there hehe." He opened his backpack and put out two cup noodles with different flavors. "I bought these on the convenience store we usually go, Appa. I know you'll like this one. Beef flavor. Mine's chicken." He placed it over the grave and opened them. He put out a thermo bottle and poured out hot water into the cups. "I missed those times that we use to eat this beside the Han river, Appa..."

He sighed.

He still can't get over how his father left them without a word. The last time he checked, they were having a fun time shopping together with things they find interesting.

"Ah, look Appa..." He put out a box that has a size as a phone and opened it. "I bought this last month, it's pretty, right? Will this look good for me if I wear this on a special event?"

It was a pink dotted purple necktie. He put it over his chest to see if the tie would look good in him. "But I've never been invited to parties. I can't wear this." He pouted and put the tie back to its box. "Maybe next time. But I'll keep collecting neckties Appa. So far we have... Hm... About fifteen? Fifteen neckties? This is the fifteenth." He stood up and fixed himself. "I'm going now Appa. Eatwell with the noodles, you can have mine. I still need to buy room designs for Yoongi hyung. Ah, do you know Yoongi hyung? Yoongi hyung is my hyung. Don't worry I'll find another time for you to meet him. See you again Appa. I love you." He started walking away when he ran back to the grave and whispered, "There's a new anime to be aired in Tooniverse next week. I'll let you know what it is and I'll download the whole series for you Appa. Hehe. Bye bye~"

He went his way to the mall to buy things that he had promised to his Yoongi hyung.

"Hmm..." His pointing finger is touching his lower lip while looking for good stuff. "How about this?" He pulled out a wall sticker but... Uh... Flower stickers?

"He'll probably like this hehehe..." He giggled and carried the wall sticker.

While walking across the racks of the store he saw a guy in his peripheral view.

Taehyung, mind if you would like to join the theater club? Surely you will  get popular...

He chased his gaze to that guy, making sure if it was really him. And because of curiousity, he mindlessly followed him. He saw him entering a breadshop and so he did.

I would like to... But it's not for popularity...

He made sure he's having a distance from the guy so he won't get noticed. He picked a bread using a tong while the attention is focusing on the guy.

Then, what is it for?

I want to join so I can perform with someone I'm looking up at...

The guy was picking up several packs of chocolate biscuits and went towards the counter. Taehyung went to the place where the guy was and saw different flavors of biscuits.

He squint looking at the chocolate biscuit the guy had picked, "Oreo." He chose the shop's sugar butter biscuit instead of the branded Oreo. He put it in his tray and turned around, expecting that the guy is still in the line over the counter paying for the biscuits...but he wasn't there already.

He panicked.

He doesn't know why but it feels like he has to tell something to him, but he missed the chance. And the thing was that, he doesn't have any idea what to tell to him.

He went out of the bread shop and searched for him. He tried his best to make his vision sharp just to look for him between the crowd inside this mall.

He's gone already.

He's very talented, and I see perfection in him...

His mood went down, and became like a withering vegetable while walking his way out of the mall, he had missed the chance, the very big chance.

Where the guy is already on his reach but he let him go away.

He is walking across the dark path of parking lot, his hands inside his pockets, and thoughts flying in space.

He wants to be an alien.

No, he wants to jump between the asteroids and throw them everywhere.

Ah no, no, he wants to swim in milky way. He would probably glow like the stars in the galaxy.

And I'll do my best in theater so that I could perform with him and we could get close...

He stopped his pace as he put his vision away from the ground to the shadow infront of him.

He has only few steps before he could reach the open street but a silhouette is stopping him from going ahead. He bit his lower lip as a sign that he is getting scared with the shadow facing him. He couldn't identify the shadow since it is wearing a hoodie and hands in the pockets as well, like what he's also doing.

"I know something is bothering you..." The shadow spoke. He couldn't identify the voice as well, as he guess the shadow is probably wearing a face mask. "I can identify people who is bothered."

"Uhm... Uh—I..." He doesn't know what to reply, aside from getting scared, he's also uncomfortable to talk since her mom said never talk to strangers.

He remain silent and stared the shadow. He's breathing heavily. What if this shadow will take away his life? Well, at first thought, he would be happy because he could be with his Appa in heaven, but in second, he would get sad to the people he'll leave behind, how about his Eomma? How about Jimin? His Yoongi hyung? His school? The anime he is looking forward? His neckties? How about them? It makes his heart tight as he is thinking about those things.

"Pretend I'm the person you want to talk to right now."

He focused his gaze to the shadow when it spoke. Pretend he's the person he wants to talk to right now?

"Uhmm... Uh... You kno— Err..." He is figuring out what he's going to say. There is only one person he wants to talk to right now...

"Uhm..." He swallowed. "I got into a theater club in our school. And I'm looking forward to perform with you. Not right away, but soon." He pretended that he is talking with the guy he just stalked inside the mall awhile ago. "And uhm... Uh—I—Uh...Wh—wh—hehehe..." He laughed, with his wide smile. "Do you want me to tell you a funny riddle?"

The shadow didn't say a word.

"Uhm... There are thirty cows and twenty eight chicken, how many didn't?"

The shadow still didn't say a word.

"What me to tell the answer?" Taehyung broke the silence after about fifteen seconds. "It's 10! Hehehehe." He giggled and smiled wide with his own joke.

"I don't want you smiling to me."

"Why? Because you don't know the reason why the answer is 10? But no no I won't tell the reason why..." He waved his pointing finger towards the shadow saying it's a no no. "Anyway, let's be serious." He came back with his blank expression and sighed. "I admire you. You're almost perfect. Wish you could notice me and... And..." He sighed again. "No, Taehyung, that's not him. You shouldn't say this to anyone, especially to a stranger like that shadow." He talked to himself but stomped his feet afterwards. "But Taetae... I really like him. I like his voice, and I know he'll be kind to me and will like me too..." He whined and keep stomping his feet.

"But that's not him Taehyung! Go to school and say those things to him! Not to a shadow that belongs to a darkness! One second or so, that shadow will never be seen anymore!"

"Huh?" He stopped whining. "So you want me to go to school right now? This late night?" He stomped his feet again, "No, no! I don't want to go there this late! Appa might catch me and scold me! He'll probably take me with him! No, no, no!"

"Let's pretend I'm that guy you wanted to talk to." The shadow spoke again that made Taehyung's monologue stop. "Let's say he's going to say like this."

A silence for a couple of seconds.

"Expect nothing from me."

Taehyung swallowed. He imagined, what if the guy he admires will really say that? Is he going to feel a deja vu?

"I'm sorry I can't give back the feelings that you have for me."

"It's not that I don't like you, I just can't. I'm not fixed. I still need to fix myself."

"I'm too broken."

"Uh... Why..." Why are you saying that. Taehyung's mind got blank.

"And don't trust me."

---

"And, tadaaa! That's all hyung. And then the shadow was gone. I'm still confused if that is really a silhouette of a real human or I was just hallucinating."

Yoongi nodded. "I can't tell though. I was not there."

"Well, you would get scared if I was really just hallucinating with that black shadow. Omo! Is he a grim reaper?! Omo!" He grabbed his blanket and covered his head. Only his head. "Tell me there isn't someone here aside from us two, Yoongi hyung."

Yoongi rolled his eyes and tried to pull the blanket away from taehyung's head. "Don't be a scaredy cat, Taehyung. It would be better if you sleep already."

"Ah... By the way hyung," He took off the blanket. "Don't get embarrased just because I saw you kissing Jimin."

"Who said I'm embarrassed?" Yoongi stood up and shook his wrinkled pants. "No one."

"Yeah, but just don't get embarrassed in the future because it's not a big deal for me. And who am I to judge you two? I don't want to swallow my words though."

He received a shake in the hair from his hyung. "Sleep now."

"Okay. Goodnight hyung. Tell Jimin too."

"Jimin."

"I mean, tell him good night. From Taetae."

"Sure."

He watched his hyung walking out of his room and the closing of the door is the time his eyes are closed as well. But before he went to his dreamland he recalled the moment while he was still on the mall's parking lot and standing infront of an unknown silhouette.

---

"Why can't I trust you?"

"Because I don't deserve to be."

"If something's bothering you, try to look behind." The figure added.

"Wait!" The silhouette started to walk away when Taehyung shouted. "Who are you?"

The silence answered him as the shadow didn't say a word and fades in darkness.

'If something's bothering you, try to look behind.'

He knows that a humble person tend to look back where he'd been, and so he did it, looking behind him.

And...who is that you're looking up at?

Behind him is the mall and down near his feet is... A paper bag of... Bread and biscuits. He let out a small laugh.

"It's Jungkook."