Chapter 7

Twenty-one days before Christmas...

After Mass, Jess hugged her half-sisters goodbye after Kitty buckled Ava's car seat into Lily's Range Rover.

"Are you sure you don't want me to drive with you?" Jess asked in concern.

Kitty shook her head, "You're booked solid between final exams and work. Besides, if your Parole officer finds out you left Tampa, you'll be in trouble. We'll be fine... I'll take my time," Kitty assured her.

Lily grinned sadly, "I'll make her stop and eat and sleep, Jess, don't worry."

Jessica wiped her tears after she leaned back from kissing Ava on the head. "I'll miss you, Half-sissies." She clung to the siblings who had been her best friends since she was a pre-teen when the Aunts decided to find all their father's children.

"I'll miss you too, half-sissie," Lily murmured into Jessica's blonder hair.

Kitty waved before she pulled away from the church parking lot. In the passenger seat, Lily held a plain manilla envelope containing copies of her and Ian's divorce paperwork, and Ava's birth and christening papers. As Kitty drove north, a flash caught her attention. The wedding ring Lily wore was a replica of Ian's grandmother's Claddagh ring, it glittered in the midmorning light. Lily saw Kitty glancing at it and slipped off her wedding ring, then angrily tossed it in her purse.

"Stop looking at me. I took it off." Her marriage had not even made it to their first Christmas together and she didn't even know why. It seemed like no matter how hard she tried, she always failed and the only thing she was good for was nothing. The familiar blanket of depression clung to her like the icy spray off Lake Michigan.

"I didn't say anything. I know you loved him," Kitty murmured.

"I don't want to talk about it," Lily muttered.

Kitty tipped her head, glancing from the road to her broken sister. She knew from the slump of her shoulders that her sister's depression was back and anything she said about Lily's marriage would just provoke a fight.

"You know, you could come out and live with me if you don't want to stay in Oconto. The Pacific keeps Washington a lot warmer than Lake Michigan."

"I can't... You know how bad my seasonal affective disorder gets. I can't function after a week. The month I visited there was... I don't know how I am going to manage at Aunt Evie's either. I need sunshine. I need to live where there is sunshine."

Kitty scowled, reminding, "It rains almost every day in Florida."

"Only an hour a day, the rest of the time, it's sunny." Lily insisted, "The only place sunnier is Colorado or Arizona."

"Fine, where do you want to live?"

Lily chewed her lip. "I don't know."

"Well, you have time to figure it out. Jack's buddy is buying this for seventy-nine thousand, if you are careful, you can take a year or three off with Ava," Kitty revealed.

"And do what? Have another breakdown because I fail at everything? My degree in hospitality isn't finished and there are no good jobs in Oconto," Lily spat argumentatively, "Unless I work for Auntie, my only other option will be working at the Econo Lodge for barely over minimum wage and cleaning rooms parttime." She sobbed, "I worked so hard to get my degree for the job at Blue Water Resorts Gulfview, and now I can't finish."

"You're on maternity leave, not dead... Ian can't make you quit school forever," Kitty snapped, then she rubbed her forehead, "I don't want to fight. I just want you to be happy and not do... the thing again."

Lily looked like she was going to explode, then she imploded, slumping down on herself. She unfastened her seatbelt and crawled into the backseat next to the baby carrier. Kitty wanted to scream at her to snap out of it as she watched and listened to her sister's muffled crying.

"I'm sorry." Kitty felt like she was always apologizing for hurting someone's feelings. It was going to be a long drive to Wisconsin.

<<@>>

Nineteen days before Christmas...

Jess sat on a barstool doing the books for Vivica's brother, Rapper Dj VJ. She was still wearing her stage dance costume under an oversized men's shirt buttoned twice at her waist.

"Ay, chica, change clothes so I can clean them and pack them for the next show," Monica demanded. Vincent's girlfriend was the best stage manager Jess had met.

"Yeah, yeah, just a second... Mon, what are all these charges by Russell?" Jess tapped the sheet. "The numbers don't add up."

"Sure they do, blondie, you just need a new calculator," Russel snarked as he walked around the bar and poured himself a drink. "I'm his business manager and agent, all my expenses are correct." At his statement, Monica scoffed and started muttering in Puerto Rican.

"Actually, Russel, for this week alone, you are two hundred fifty over actual, and for the last three months, you have billed him for studio time Vin didn't use, car services on nights Vin was in other cities, and dancers when there were no shows," Jess announced as she tapped the book.

He snorted, "What would a pasty ass white ho like you know about keeping the books? You're just some damned stripper he gave a job to cause his sister asked." He reached across the bar and hooked the front of her top between her breasts and pulled her toward him. "I mean they're nice for real ones and you can shake that arse, but don't make me send you back to the stripper pole, biyatch. Vin and I go all the way back to grade school."

"Get your hands off her dance costume before you stretch it out," Monica snarled as she slapped his wrist.

But Jess held out her hand to her friend, "Did Vivica ever tell you why she wanted me to work for Vincent?"

Russel looked confused.

"I am a stripper and dancer because it has paid for my college. This year I will double master's in forensic accounting and corporate tax law." She seized his thumb and twisted hard enough the strap his index finger was hooked around snapped but she didn't care as she grabbed him by the chains and slammed his head onto the bar. "Vivica told me you were a thief and a liar... And you know what, biyatch? She was right. I can prove you have been embezzling from your old grade school friend to the tune of five thousand and that's just the last three months. That's felony theft, ho. You spread it around, but I found it."

Reaching behind him as she twisted his thumb, she leaned over him with her nipples barely covered by the shirt, and let her cleavage rub against his face before she whispered in his ear, "I will find every cent of it and put you away like you had Vivica put away on that fake drug stop."

He jerked free and reached behind him, then with the other hand.

"Looking for this?" Jess clicked off the safety and pointed the Glock pistol at him.

"What is going on?" Vincent demanded as he came in. "Jess, don't point that at Russell."

Monica walked over to her boyfriend, "It isn't what you think, baby." Her Puerto Rican accent got thicker as she snarled. "Chica proved this bastardo has been stealing from us, and he is the one who set up Vivica with the policia. We ain't struggling 'cause you aren't any good, baby. We're struggling cause your ole hombre has been stealing five thousand dollars a quarter from us."

Vincent stared between them, shaking his head. "No... no. Russ, you didn't?"

"Vivica told me she confronted Russell about it and two hours later, she gets pulled over with drugs in her car." Jess kept the gun level. "Tell him, Russell, tell him what you did so you could keep living high off the money Vin and Monica make."

When Russell started cursing at her, she put a bullet in the wall just over his shoulder. She smirked at his terror as he crouched.

"I grew up in Miami but when I was a teenager, I spent a few years in Wisconsin. There's nothing to do up there but fish or hunt. I hate fishing so guess which one I did." She cocked the gun for effect. "Tell Vin what you did or I will cap you with your own gun and say you tried to rape me. I mean, you already ripped open my dance top and got my glitter all over your grubby hand and face."

Backing away from her, Russell turned toward Vincent, begging, "Don't let her shoot me. I'm your best friend... We have a good thing going here."

"My sister who raised me is my best friend and you sent her to jail for three years!" Vin charged him as Jess uncocked the gun and stepped back. Monica grabbed the ledger from the bar while the men traded blows and curses.

"Should be stop them?" Jess asked.

"No, let Vin show him what happens when you betray a brother's love." Monica tucked the ledger under her arm and looked at Jess's torn top. "Hmm, no problemo, mi madré can fix this easy. So, you want to come over for some lechon or pernil asado on Sunday?"

"Oh, the names sound delicious, what are they?" Jess asked as they walked out of the room where the men were yelling at each other.

"Lechon is a spit roast pig and pernil asado is, um, pig shoulder with spices." Monica explained. "Slow cooked, it is very tender."

"If it is anything like the pork in your abuela's tamales, oh hell yeah," Jess agreed as she stripped out of her dance costume then dressed. "But I am dancing at the Members Only gentleman's club after four." There was a loud crash and Jess looked at the wall.

"Ay dios. I'll go break them up."

"What should I do with this?" Jess asked as she wiped her prints off the gun. "We can't give it back to him or he'll shoot someone unless..." She quickly slid the pistol into pieces on the towel. "Gotta love Austrian guns, they come apart so easily to be cleaned." She took the recoil spring and extractor spring and threw them in the trash. "Now it's a paperweight."

Monica laughed evilly as she wrapped the remaining pieces up in the towel, then she handed the ledger and her appointment book to Jess. "Find the rest of my Vincent's money. He was about to give up on his dream."

"I will. See ya Sunday."

They hugged and Jess left feeling more validated and capable than she had in a long time. She tucked the books in her motorcycle saddle bag and went home. She loved riding through the city so late at night.

<<@>>

In the bitterly cold breeze blowing off Lake Michigan, Lily eased out of her parked rental moving truck in front of the quaint Tiger Lily Inn Bed and Breakfast. She hurt so much from sitting up straight for eight hours to drive.

In Indianapolis at Leonard's house, she and Kitty had a huge fight because Kitty thought she was taking too much pain medication and threw her phone away for looking at picture of her life with Ian. In a fit of pique, Lily rented the uHaul to bring her the rest of the way home alone. She shouted things she didn't mean at the sister who had spent their life trying to protect and encourage her, but Lily didn't want encouragement and platitudes right now, she wanted to give up and die. The blanket of depression that smothered her in teen years and after Marlana's murder was back and worse than it had ever been. Only the promise Leonard extracted from her, kept her driving to Oconto instead of into Lake Michigan.

The Victorian-era home had been converted to accommodations for visitors to Oconto in the 1970s by her grandmother and great-aunt. Snow-covered topiaries filled the front yard. The place glowed warm and inviting in the early afternoon light. Lily's great-Aunt Evelynn opened the door. Two teens, obviously twin brothers, and a woman waited with her.

The elderly innkeeper smiled warmly, "Since I knew you would be tired, I hired some muscle. Do you remember John Micheals's family? Katherine, David, and Daniel. Don't ask me to tell you which is which, I haven't been able to tell since Ava delivered them."

She held out her hand to them, not remembering if she had met more than John before. "Lily Hasting... uh, I mean Johansen."

Katherine smiled sympathetically, "Sorry for your divorce. Just call me Kathy, everyone does, and don't worry about the boys... I can't tell them apart unless I look at their feet." She took Ava's baby carrier from Lily.

"Their feet?" Lily was confused as she stripped out of her coat.

Grinning Kathy revealed, "I had numbers tattooed on their heels after the third time Dr. Ava had to tell me which was which... Okay Thing One and Thing Two, unload the lady's boxes and take them up to the third floor."

"Yes, Mom."

As they climbed the stairs, Lily nodded, answering, "Thank you, Kathy."

The phone rang so Evelyn went back down to answer it. "Happy Holidays, Tiger Lily Inn."

<<@>>

Kitty rubbed her forehead again. She didn't have a headache unless it was a headache named Lily. The more miles she put between herself and her sister the better. After three days of Lily sniffing and saying, I'm fine, in a tremulous voice, Kitty was ready to scream at her or slap her or shake her. She knew her sister had issues but why couldn't she just snap the hell out of it. Her logic brain ranted.

Life is hard, bad things happen, and all the PMA rainbows and manifestation unicorns in the world won't make it any easier. It is all crap. There is only the here and now and how one deals with it. Living in the past is as toxic to one's mental health as all the positive affirmations were lies. Accept it happened, and move on because no one gets a fairytale, not anymore.

Happily ever after was for fools and her sister certainly met that criteria.

What did she expect? She married a guy she had only known for a few weeks because of what? A night on the beach watching for falling stars and manifestation mumbo jumbo.

Halfway across Iowa, Kitty stopped for fuel, bought a meal, and took her ten hours off. Instead of sleeping she tossed and turned and mentally cursed her moody sister for being so fragile. She almost turned around and went to Oconto but she stubbornly refused to. She wanted Lily to stand on her own, she wanted her sister to be as strong as she was. Finally, she prayed, that if there was a god, they would make Lily strong enough to be a good mother to Ava and that she wouldn't fall back into a suicidal depression as she and all their siblings feared she would.

After one last look at the location app on her sister's new phone to confirm Lily was still in Oconto, Kitty went to sleep.