"Charlie, wait!"

Ignoring Hazel's shout, which he somehow makes heard even above the din of the club, I reach the door and slip through into the relative quiet of the street just as a large group arrives and blocks the entrance like a logjam, momentarily trapping Hazel inside.

Taking advantage of this, I set off down the sidewalk, but I know Hazel won't be delayed for long. Seeing my options as run, face him, or hide, I go with the least strenuous choice and duck into the used bookstore a few doors down from the club.

It's nearly deserted this close to closing time, and the tall shelves and maze-like aisles offer plenty of concealment. There's a basement devoted entirely to graphic novels, though, and it's to this I descend. There, I pretend to browse while the scene in Chase plays on repeat in my head.

I'm as much ashamed by my reaction as by the fact I hadn't even considered that Hazel might have a lively past. It's a good reminder that despite having spent nearly a month in close proximity, there's still a lot we don't know about each other.

Flipping blindly through a random volume of One Piece, I bite my bottom lip and fight tears. If I was someone else, maybe I could have played things off with a witty comeback, or a cutting reply, making my claim on Hazel known. Instead, I'd been too shocked to speak, betraying myself as the clueless innocent I was, before fleeing like a Cinderella who'd overstayed her welcome at the ball.

Like Prince Charming himself, Hazel would come looking for me—I know him well enough to know that—but I'm not quite ready to be found.

Thirty minutes later, the store's loudspeakers announce closing time, and I ascend to the street level again.

Outside, the air is cool, the night mist having rolled in from the bay, and the crowds have dispersed. I hug myself and shiver. Lana had talked me into wearing a very thin t-shirt, and if I hadn't regretted it before, I do now.

I glance up and down the street, but there's no sign of Hazel or Lana. We'd taken Hazel's car, and—alarmingly—there's no sign of that, either.

So much for Prince Charming.

As reality sinks in, I assess my options. The buses stop running at ten, and I'm five minutes too late to catch the last one. A ride-share could cost me half my monthly allowance at this hour, and I don't have any other friends to call. Meanwhile, the apartment I share with Lana is a little over three miles away, or an hour and a half, at an easy stroll.

Sighing, I set off on foot. At least it's free, and I'll have plenty of time to sort out how I feel.

Thinking that Hazel will have given Lana and Trey a ride, and hoping to avoid being spotted on the road, I choose an alternate route and follow the aptly named Ocean Street past Crestwood Beach. Warm from walking, I stop for a while and sit on the sand. The beach at night has its own charm, and the voice of the waves murmurs with a constant low rumble and hiss. When I start to get cold again, I get up, brush the sand from my clothes, and continue on towards home.

I arrive a little after midnight, letting myself in as quietly as possible in the hopes of not disturbing Lana. I quickly perceive I needn't fear, as I find her sitting on the couch, staring at her phone and worrying her bottom lip.

She looks up when I enter, and bolts to her feet as her face goes pale with relief.

"Oh my God, Charlie!" she shrieks. "Where the fuck were you? I was ready to file a missing persons report!"

"What?" I laugh awkwardly as she whacks my arm with the back of her hand and sweeps me into a hug, though the top of her head barely reaches the middle of my chest. "I think you have to wait twenty-four hours for that."

She sniffs. "Why didn't you answer my texts?"

I pull out my phone. Sure enough, there's about a hundred notifications for texts from both Hazel and Lana, though Lana has Hazel beat for sheer volume.

"Oh." I wince apologetically. "Sorry. I didn't want to see anything from Hazel, so I didn't even look."

Lana sighs and lets me go. One of her false lashes has fallen off and her makeup is faded and smeared, as if she'd been absentmindedly rubbing her eyes. "He told me what happened. You have to at least let him know you're okay. He's going crazy looking for you."

I frown defensively. "Why? I'm a grown man, not a kid or a dog. I'm not gonna get kidnapped or hit by a car, or whatever."

Lana makes a 'cringey' face. "Yeeeah. But you're also a little bit... er... accident prone? And Hazel's definitely a worrier. If you won't let him know you're okay, I will."

Grumpy, tired, and emotionally raw, I lose my calm and snap a little.

"Fine," I say, brushing past her on my way to my room. "Tell him whatever you want. I'm taking a shower and going to bed."

That's my plan, anyway, but when I emerge from my shower, dressed in a sleeveless shirt and briefs, I find a surprise waiting for me in the form of Hazel sitting on my bed.

He gives me a small, uncertain smile. "Hi."

I shake my head and cross the room to my closet, tossing my dirty clothes in the laundry hamper. "I'm really tired, Hazel. What do you want?"

"To make sure you're okay, mostly," he says. "And to explain, if you'll let me."

I shrug one shoulder, keeping my back to him as I make a show of arranging my clothes and putting my shower things away. I take a breath and try to control the quaver in my voice. "Who's Eddie?"

He hesitates, then says, "I don't really know."

Anger gives me courage, and I face him with a glare. "If you're gonna bullshit me, then—"

He raises his hands. "I'm serious, Charlie. I barely know the guy. I'm not gonna lie to you. We hooked up twice last spring. The first time he was performing as Edwina Prize. He—or she, in that case—came on to me hard. One thing led to another. We ended up in the bathroom and he sucked me off."

I wince. "I really did not need to know that."

Standing, he takes a tentative step towards me.

"I want you to know everything," he says, with disarming earnestness. "The good things and the bad. I swear I didn't mean to keep it from you, and I hated that look on your face. I never want to see it again."

I grimace. "What look?"

"Betrayal. Hurt. If someone hurts you, I wanna be the one to kick their ass, even if it's mine."

The corner of my mouth twitches with barely controlled emotions, and I harden my voice to keep it from trembling.

"Do you end up in bathrooms with random guys often? Because I don't think I want to date a guy who does."

He flinches. "No. I swear it was just that once, and I'd never cheat. I was... in a bad place that night, feeling reckless. It was the anniversary of my mom's death. I get... pretty depressed around that time. She died on May 11, two days before my birthday."

I shut my eyes and rub my brow. "Fuck. I'm sorry."

"Don't be. It's not your fault, and it doesn't excuse poor choices. That's on me."

"What about the second time, then? You said you hooked up twice."

"Do you remember Dave, my surfer bro?"

"The dude who filmed me embarrass myself? Sure."

Hazel hunches his shoulders and winces. "It was his younger brother's twenty-first. We were partying hard, and I had too much. Eddie—Eduardo—was at the club and we ended up dancing a little, but I was pretty wasted. He offered to call us a ride and get me home. Then..." He runs a hand through his hair. "It gets a little hazy, but I woke up with a massive hangover and a naked dude in my bed."

I blink a few times. "Wait... Did he take advantage of you?"

Hazel shakes his head. "No. It was mutual. I think. He was pretty drunk, too. It was just bad judgement and a big mistake. Anyway, I thought I made it clear that's all it was. I guess I didn't do a very good job, because he thinks I'm down for a casual hookup anytime."

"Are there others?"

"Like Eddie? No, just the one. I've had three 'serious' boyfriends, though," Hazel says with an easy shrug. "One in high school, one during my short stint in college, and then one I really fell hard for."

My eyes widen a little at that, and jealousy touches my heart with a bee-sting barb. Then again, I shouldn't be surprised; Hazel seems like a guy who falls in love easily—given that he says he's in love with me.

"How recently was that?"

"Pretty recently, actually," Hazel says, and his lips quirk a little. "He's super smart, and fucking adorable. A little shy, sometimes, and he has a hard time believing how great he is. We met on the beach. He's got a thing for dead clams."

Catching on, I try to maintain a good, no-nonsense glare, but can't help smiling a little. "Sounds like you're still together."

Humor fading, Hazel says, "I hope so. I kinda fucked up recently, though. Took him on our first bad date. Told him about some dumb shit I've done. I hope he can forgive me for that."

Defeated, I shake my head. "Everybody makes mistakes. He's probably not really mad at you; just... a little surprised."

"Yeah. I hope I can make it up to him. Maybe take him somewhere else. Like the beach, or a museum."

"Somewhere quiet and nerdy, like him, huh?"

Hazel shakes his head. "Somewhere we can both enjoy and have a good time."

I take a breath and swallow around the tightness in my throat. "I think he'd like that."

A smile lights Hazel's face and he reaches for my hand. I let him take it and step into his embrace. He smells like sour sweat—the kind triggered by anxiety—and I realize his worry for me was real. Wrinkling my nose, I push him away.

"You stink, and it's late. Do you wanna stay over?"

"Really?" He lifts his brows, giving off the energy of a scolded dog, sensing forgiveness and daring to wag its tail.

"Yeah. Go take a shower and come to bed. I'll get you some clothes."

Turning back to my closet, I rummage for the cheap underwear and t-shirt from our overnight hotel stay.

"You kept these?" he asks, taking them.

I shrug. "Sure. Waste not."

Grinning, he retreats to the bathroom. I look at my narrow bed and cringe; when I made my offer, I hadn't considered its size. Getting in, I pull the covers up to my chest and turn onto my side, leaving three-quarters of the mattress for him.

I'm almost asleep by the time he emerges from the bathroom and slides in at my back.

"You didn't have to worry so much, you know," I murmur. "I don't end up in a crisis every time I go for a walk."

He laughs quietly. "You gotta admit you don't have the best track record."

A minute passes before he speaks again.

"Actually, it's me, not you. I've got this irrational fear that people I love will just... vanish. It's my worst nightmare. After my mom... I used to have this nightmare. We'd be somewhere together, and I'd turn away for a second, and she'd be gone. I'd have this feeling that I had to find her or something terrible would happen. Then I'd wake myself up screaming her name. I still have that dream, sometimes; about my dad, too. And now... sometimes I dream about you. That's how I know I really love you, Charlie, because I'm terrified you'll disappear."

"That's..." I swallow, unsure exactly what to say. Terrible? Disturbing? "Sweet, but you really don't have to worry. I'm not going anywhere."

"It's okay if you don't feel the same," he says, kissing my bare shoulder. "I just want you to know that I care about you, and that I'm not a cheat. I fuck up sometimes, for sure, but I'll never knowingly hurt you."

I roll over to face him. "I guess since we're sharing, there's something you should know about me, too."

He lifts himself on one elbow. "Oh? Is there someone else I should know about?"

I laugh. "As if. No, it's nothing so exciting. It's just..." I bite my lower lip and pick at the lint on my pillow. "My dad used to call me Humpty-Dumpty."

Hazel frowns. "Because you're an egg-head?"

I laugh. "No. Because once my trust is broken, it can't be mended. I think it's because of my parents' relationship, but it's really hard for me to believe people don't have ulterior motives when they're nice to me. I've been proven right too many times. Like the kid who just befriended me so he could copy off my exams, or the guy who just wanted..." I shake my head. "Anyway, when I finally do trust someone, they have my trust entirely. Like Lana. And... you. The thing is, if that trust is lost, it's lost for good."

"No second chances, then," Hazel says quietly.

"It's not that I don't believe in second chances—third chances, even. You wouldn't be here otherwise. Breaking my trust isn't easy, it's just... when it happens, it's done."

"Duly noted," he says solemnly. "Let's make a promise, 'kay? Don't disappear on me, and I'll never try to force you out of your comfort zone again."

I laugh. "I don't mind leaving my comfort zone. Just make sure Eddie's not there to ambush me next time."

"Deal," he says, and kisses the end of my nose.

"Deal," I agree, and roll over again to switch off the light.

With Hazel's warmth at my back, I shut my eyes, but my thoughts keep spinning like a hamster wheel in my head for some time, and it's nearly dawn before I fall asleep.