Returning to normalcy was a painstaking process. Luckily for Carina, James was almost too distracted with Lily to notice his best friend readjusting. She'd like to believe he still cared about her given the way he'd ambushed her after her solitary weekend in the Room of Requirement. The emotions playing across his face were clear as day- the relief that she was okay, the confusion as to where she'd been, and the frustration that she hadn't let them know.   

Nonetheless, it was really very easy to convince him nothing was out of the ordinary. Just a lot of stress with the year ending and needing to finish her projects before graduation, she'd said. He'd lapped up the words she'd offered on a silver platter. 

It was all too easy to create the semblance of normalcy.  

These days she spent most of her time with Remus. Like her very first year at Hogwarts. Sirius would still come by to annoy her every now and then, and Peter would always be drifting among them. But in all that time, James grew steadily busier and busier with his 'Head Boy duties.' There was so much to do with graduation right around the corner, he'd groaned to them. All the ceremonies and family receptions they needed to plan were endless! Never mind that every hour spent on said duties was another moment with the love of his life. 

That was how the day started- a typical day like any other. It was late April, with a mere two months left before their time in the castle ran out. She and Remus were sitting out by the lake studying and enjoying the crisp spring weather. 

"So, you're really going to do it?" He asked curiously. "Try and return as a potions professor?" 

"I want to," Carina smiled. "What about you? What are your plans after graduation?" 

Remus scoffed, a hint of bitterness tinging his voice. "I'll be lucky to get a job with my condition." 

"Nonsense!" She insisted adamantly. "Remus, you're one of the smartest people in this school. You're meant to do great things." 

"If only the world felt that way." 

"You'll find something," she insisted. "In fact, I think you should consider teaching. Clearly, Dumbledore has no issues with having you in the castle, and I happen to think you'd make an excellent professor." 

"You're being nice," Remus rolled his eyes. 

"No, really! I barely scraped by with an O in Defense because of your help! You know how terrible I am at combative magic." 

Remus's eyes twinkled in amusement. "You were rather in desperate need of help," he teased. 

Carina's smile froze as she narrowed her eyes. She picked up her pouch of quills and ink pots, throwing them at the smiling werewolf. "Ha. Ha. I passed, didn't I?" 

"CARINA!" They heard a yell from the direction of the castle.

Running towards them with his hair frazzled and robes unbuttoned and billowing around his legs was none other than Sirius Black. 

"Sirius? What's wrong?" She could tell from his panicked face and haphazard look that all was not right with the typically perfectly composed wizard. 

He dropped to the grass beside Carina and Remus, panting slightly as a sheepish expression overtook his aristocratic features.

"I might've done something stupid..." he admitted. 

Carina would've rolled her eyes at him if he didn't look so sad. 

"What happened?" 

"I was with Marlene, and you know we were talking and stuff..." 

"Sirius," Remus prompted, knowing his friend was stalling in nervousness. 

"She asked me what would happen after graduation." Sirius blurted out. "With us." 

"And?" Carina shrugged. 

"And what? I panicked, of course! I asked her why we needed to bog ourselves down thinking about that- why we couldn't just enjoy the here and now." 

"Oh... Sirius..." Carina winced. No girl would've wanted to hear that. 

"I know, I know!" He groaned. "She just got up and walked away. Didn't even say a word. Usually, she'll yell at me, you know? Or at least smack my head? She didn't even bother this time." 

"What are you scared of?" Carina asked curiously. "Don't you want to stay with her after graduation?" 

"I... I just... Whenever I picture my life after graduation, it's always included you lot. That's the only thing in my life I've felt certain of. I don't know whether she'd actually stick around..." 

"Do you love her?" Remus asked frankly. 

"Merlin, I don't know! She won't put up with my shit like all the other air-heads I've been with, that's for sure." Sirius smiled sheepishly, his mind wandering to the fiery witch. "I can't really imagine her not there, you know? Is that love?" 

Carina and Remus shared a find smile. "I don't know," Carina said lightly. "Only you can know that. But it seems like you answered your own question." 

"I did?" Sirius asked. His eyes widened in realization. "I did... thanks, love! You're brilliant." He got to his feet, leaning down to drop a quick kiss to her head. He turned to Remus, repeating the gesture, to the absolute shock of the wizard. "You too, Remus." 

Sirius rushed off, and Carina couldn't help but laugh at Remus, who still sat with his jaw dropped. His eyes narrowed playfully at her laughter, and he shook his head gruffly. "Crazy..." he muttered with a small smile. 

"I have to head out," Remus told her. "Prefect duties!"  

He began gathering his stuff, and just as he'd hauled his bag over his shoulder, another voice echoed across the field. They both turned to see Lily headed their way, her vibrant red hair flying in the breeze. Remus glanced down at her, silently asking whether she needed him to stay. Carina shrugged. She'd have to do this at one point or another. 

"Good luck," he murmured under his breath. 

Remus walked past Lily as she made her way to Carina, stopping briefly to let her know he had to run.  

"Hi, you!" Lily greeted, plopping down to the grass next to her friend. 

"Hiya," Carina smiled. 

"I feel like I haven't seen you in ages!" Lily cried. 

"Blame yourself," Carina said with a playful pout. "With all your planning and preparations. The commencement ceremonies better be majestical with all the time you and James are putting into them."           

"I suppose we've been generous with our time," Lily admitted, a small smile playing on her lips. "It gives us an excuse to talk and get to know each other more deeply." 

Carina smiled, and for the first time in weeks, it no longer felt forced. Seeing Lily's soft happiness made Carina genuinely happy for her friend. "I told you he's a good guy." 

"I know," Lily admitted quietly. "I wanted to apologize, actually."     

"For what?" Carina startled. 

"I don't think I'd realized how much of a prissy witch I was this whole year. And it always put you in the middle- trying to defend James but still be loyal to me! I know I was too brash in judging him, obviously. But I don't think I realized how much of a toll it took on you until James forced me to come to terms with it." 

"James did that?" Carina's jaw dropped. 

"I know," Lily laughed. "Just a few months ago, I would've cursed him to Hogsmeade and back if he tried to tell me I was wrong. But he made a good point." 

"I'm just surprised James actually spoke up to you like that," Carina said in amusement. 

"I know, right? It was always Lily-pad this, and Evans that," she smiled nostalgically, thinking back to their bantering. "Turns out that courage was good for us in the end. Most of the guys I've been with haven't really called me out on anything."   

Unbeknownst to the girls, who continued casually chatting by the lakeside, James Potter had gone in search of his girlfriend. He was surprised to see her by the lake with Carina. He didn't think the three of them had ever actually hung out together even though Carina was so close to both of them separately. With a small grin, he began to approach them, his advance hidden by the large trees sheltering them. 

He was near enough to make out their carefree laughs, and he relaxed at the thought of his girlfriend and one of his best friends being so close. 

Almost as he made it to the tree line, he heard Lily raise her voice hesitantly.  

"Carina...? I wanted to ask you something, actually. I haven't really asked James because I'm honestly a little scared to." 

James halted in his tracks. What could she possibly mean? For as immature as their interactions had been for all these years, he and Lily actually worked surprisingly well as a couple. He'd made sure to keep as open as possible about communicating. If there's one thing he learned from Carina, it's that misunderstandings could turn poisonous if left to fester. 

"What is it?" Carina asked curiously. 

"I know you and James fake dated and everything to try and turn my head," she began unsurely. "And it's probably silly of me to even ask! But... I don't know, it's just... all those weeks you two would spend time with Alice and me, it just seemed like there was something real between you two. Alice was convinced there was!" 

Carina stiffened. 

James had to strain to hear Carina's response. 

"What are you asking, Lily?" She asked softly. 

"Did you never fall for him in those weeks? Did he never fall for you?" Lily laughed wryly, breaking the tension. "I can't imagine him not- I mean, you're amazing. I would've fallen for you if I were so inclined!" 

Carina gulped, considering her words carefully. Time slowed as Lily watched her friend, bated- terrified of the answer she would give. It was something she couldn't get out of her mind these past weeks. Alice had been so insistent that Carina and James were it right up to their confession about them fake dating. She didn't know what she'd do if Carina admitted they actually had feelings for each other. She didn't think she could, in good conscience, stay with the wizard she'd come to so absolutely adore this term. 

James waited, growing more anxious the longer Carina went without responding. Surely there wasn't anything new for her to tell? Carina was the one who'd told him to tell Lily it was all fake! Encouraged him, even. Could there be more to it than she let on? 

The silence broke when Carina exhaled with a small smile. "You have nothing to worry about, Lily. James Potter has been in love with you, and only you, for the better part of seven years." 

Lily studied her carefully, and while Carina's response gave her some closure, she didn't really answer the question. James felt a small pit of disappointment in his gut, and he couldn't help but wonder why. Sure he and Carina had gotten closer than ever in those few weeks of their faux relationship, but it's not like he fell for her then. Did he? There was that one kiss. But Carina had brushed it aside so easily! She'd told him she was just caught up in her emotions after dancing with Malfoy of all people! It was like a slap in the face to learn she might've been thinking of that evil git while kissing him.   

Interrupting the somber silence that'd settled upon them, a magnificent phoenix screeched through the air, warning them of his presence before landing smoothly next to Carina. 

"Woah," Carina whispered as the bird gently nudged her shoulder, holding out its leg. 

She deftly untied the parchment from the phoenix, skimming over it. 

"I'm sorry, Lily, I have to go," she said, rising to her feet. Though she was genuinely grateful for the excuse. "Dumbledore asked me to his office." 

"Okay," Lily said quietly. "I'll see you around.

"See you." 

As she headed for the castle, the giant bird took flight, swooping straight into the air and back to the tower from which he came. As Carina climbed past the tree line, she startled to a stop when she noticed James merely standing there. How long had he been there?

"Hi," he managed to get out. "Going somewhere? I saw you and Lily from the castle and thought I'd come to join." 

Carina relaxed. It didn't seem like he'd heard anything. "I have to run, but I'm sure Lills would love the company. I'll see you later." 

"See you..." 

But as Carina walked away, James tried to think of how many times he'd actually spent time with her since they'd ended their charade. The few times he did see her, she was usually with Remus. And the handful of times he'd stumbled upon her alone, she always seemed to have an excuse to scurry away. Would he see her soon?     

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"Professor Dumbledore," Carina called, poking her head into his office. 

"Come in, Miss Lennox," the old wizard invited jovially. "Lemon drops?" 

"That's alright, thank you." 

She perched on one of the grand chairs in front of the headmaster's table. 

"Your friends were rather concerned for you a few weeks ago, Miss Lennox." 

"Sorry for the trouble, professor," Carina apologized sheepishly. "I didn't think they'd go to you." 

"It's quite alright," he waved off. "I was somewhat surprised to see you and Mr. Potter break up. Or shall I say it was surprising the whole thing was a facade?" His eyes twinkled knowingly.      

"Uh... well, it was a bit of a desperate plan James had," she shrugged uncomfortably. "Professor, did something happen?" She prompted.  

 "Yes, right!" He clapped his hands together. "I'm sure you're aware of the growing war outside the sanctuary of these walls, Miss Lennox?" 

"Of course," she said severely. 

"Is your commitment to fighting your parents' murders as strong as you indicated this past summer?" 

"Stronger," Carina insisted. 

"Hmm, good. I'm looking for a strategist. And you, my dear, truly have a rare affinity for arithmancy and astronomy."  

Carina raised an eyebrow. "Sir, my focus is on potions. I've spent all year specializing- I have almost five independent projects currently underway with Professor Slughorn!"

"I know," he told her understandingly. "But you have a gift, a truly rare one. Professor Vector hasn't seen a student like you in decades!" 

"What are you saying, professor?" Carina gulped. 

"I'd like you to join the Order of the Phoenix upon graduation. You remember I explained what the Order was when your parents' death was being investigated?" Carina nodded. "You'd train directly under Alastor Moody." 

"The Head Auror?" She exclaimed. 

"Yes, and his deputies the Prewett brothers. You might remember them, I believe they were in their last year when you first came to Hogwarts." 

"But, professor," Carina stuttered. "I can't be an Auror! I'm abysmal at combative magic!" 

"That's alright, you'd be taking a position as a strategist. It's not a combat job. It's an advisory role, and would give you significant leadership in the Order." 

"But, sir," Carina spoke weakly. "What about potions?" 

Brewing had grown into a cathartic practice for her- especially after her parents' death. She thought she wanted to be a healer and even had the aptitude for it. But after walking in on her parents' corpses, she no longer had the stomach to handle lives only to lose them in front of her very eyes. Being a strategist would land her right in the middle of the war and all the politics and decision-making. She didn't want that. She just wanted to help. 

"We already have a handful of skilled potioneers, and you're welcome to keep up your skills with them on the side." Noticing her small frown, Dumbledore leaned forward earnestly. 

"Miss Lennox, you have to understand how grave the situation is. Your talents in arithmancy and even astronomy are rare- something we'd be lucky to find once a century! Having your skills could make the difference between victory and failure for the Order. If you truly want to make a difference, this is how."       

Carina swallowed the bile rising to her throat. They were on the cusp on a war. She didn't have the luxury of doing what she loved. 

"Very well, whatever it takes. You can count on me."  

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Carina found herself back on the grounds, contemplating the sudden turn her life had taken. This term was honestly giving her whiplash! First, this whole fiasco with James and Lily. And now all her plans for her future gone up in flames, unable to withstand the pressure of the raging war to come. 

"What's got you thinking so hard?" Sirius asked, dropping down beside her on the grass. 

"Dumbledore just recruited me for the Order," she told him monotonously. 

Sirius inhaled a sharp breath, his head snapping over to look at her. "Merlin, the secret organization we've heard about? I thought it was a myth!" 

Carina shook her head. 

"Why are you so glum? Don't you want to be in it? I'll definitely try to join after Hogwarts if they'll have me."  

"I did..." 

"But?" 

"But, he recruited me as a strategist." 

"Oh... what about your potions?"  

Carina shrugged, staring out at the highland landscape. "I guess it has to take a backseat. Apparently, I have a rare gift for arithmancy, though I don't see how it's all that special. He wants me to work with his Aurors." 

"What'd you tell him?" Sirius inquired curiously. 

"That I'd do it, obviously. This war is coming whether we like it or not. If he thinks I can make a real difference drawing up battle plans and strategy, who am I to refuse? I knew I'd be involved one way or another." 

Sirius nodded. He understood- it wasn't ideal, but it was the reality they must live with. 

"Maybe we'll get to work together in the future," Sirius chirped enthusiastically. "I'm going to join the Aurors, after all." 

"Maybe..." she whispered hopefully. "That would be one saving grace of this whole thing." 

"Let's get your mind off it," Sirius said, pulling her to her feet. "Sitting here, stewing isn't going to do you any good." 

"And how do you propose I do that?" She asked wryly, letting Sirius tug her away from the lake. 

"How we always do it, of course! We're going for a fly!" 

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James Potter had been looking for his best mate everywhere, but Sirius was nowhere to be found. He'd tried his dorms, the common room, the kitchens. He even asked Marlene! When he finally pulled out the Marauder's Map, he pin-pointed the wizard's footsteps making their way out to the grounds. Without stopping to look at where exactly Sirius was headed, James sprinted outside. He'd been thinking about Lily and Carina's conversation all morning, and he needed to talk to someone about it- someone who knew the entire story. 

As he made his way out to the grounds, he didn't see Sirius, but he did spot two lone people near the Quidditch pitch. They weren't dressed in Quidditch uniform, so he assumed Sirius must've gone for a leisurely fly. 

A few paces later, the people on the brooms came into focus, and James stuttered to a halt. 

Sirius and Carina were laughing joyously, circling each other in the air and weaving in between the tall stands of the pitch. James knew Carina flew with Sirius every now and then to help him clear his mind after another incident with his brother or a letter from his family. But Sirius hadn't had any contact with his family all year- his little brother included. Their laughter and teasing voices echoed through the wind, reaching James. The sounds only added to the pit of discomfort he'd been feeling since earlier that morning. 

Apparently, Carina found time for everyone but him. Or was it the other way around? Would she spend time with him again if he sought her out? Merlin knew he missed talking to her. Things had just been so busy and filled with Lily. Not that it was a bad thing- he'd always wanted this phase where he and Lily could get caught up in each other like they were the only two people who mattered. He certainly didn't feel like his friendship with the marauders was suffering from it. So why did it feel like the closer he became to Lily, the further he got from Carina?    

Slowly turning back around, James ambled back to the castle, the sound of Carina's and Sirius's merriment ringing in his ears.