C H A P T E R   N I N E
spilling secrets

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when surfers pull themselves into the most powerful part of the wave.

I'm not sure who was more shocked by the words that came out of my mouth, Dawson or I. He was standing there, his mouth slightly agape before shaking his head almost as if to snap out of his thoughts.

"You want me.. to help you surf again?" he starts, "am I hearing that correctly? Because if I'm not mistaken the other day when I asked you to catch some waves with me you ran off."

"I wouldn't be here if I wasn't one hundred percent sure." I don't know who I was trying to convince with that statement, because I could hardly believe my sudden change of heart.

I rest my arms against the sales desk, leaning up against it as a stack of papers catches my eye. Dawson follows my gaze and grabs one of the papers which reads Chancier Regional Surf Competition.

"Don't you get any ideas with this." he says sliding the paper over to me. "If you haven't been on a board in years, training for a competition while dealing with whatever made you stop in the first place adds too much stress."

"Thanks for the concern but I know what I can handle, I've dealt with much worse. Besides you don't know what I've been through Dawson!"

"That's cause you won't tell me Ainsley!" he retorts, his voice louder as he runs a hand through his hair in frustration as he realized customers turned their attention towards the two of us. "I'm off work an hour or so, meet me at my truck and we'll finish this conversation then." He says brushing past me before engaging in conversation with a customer.

I nod, grabbing the flyer as I walk out the door not turning back. It seemed as though Dawson was mad, I was expecting him to be happy but I was clearly wrong.

I look down at my outfit, still realizing I am in my work uniform I decide to head back to my car to change since I had some time to waste.

Instead of walking back down the boardwalk I walked through the sidewalks lined with storefronts of the town.

Looking at the displays in the windows took my mind off of what just happened. In the last few weeks I found myself getting closer with Dawson which I never expected, and he was the one person who I knew could help me get back out into the water.

There were few people out there that I could trust, but seeing how he was with me the other day it was evident that he cared about me.

Sure I could have asked Miranda's to help me but she wouldn't give me the push I needed to get back out there. She'd use Crystals death to hold me back, she'd be afraid that I would go back into the depressive state which held me captive for months.

I didn't want to put her through the pain I caused her again.

As I approached my car I threw my bag in the back before climbing into the back seat as well. My windows were tinted so I quickly took off my shirt and changed into a white tank top I had in my bag. My uniform shorts were red and went with my shirt so I just left them on.

I made my way over my centre console and threw my keys into the ignition bringing my Jeep to life. The time on the radio clock showed that there was still fifteen minutes until Dawson was off.

On the way over to the Surf Shack I stopped at a drive thru and picked up two iced teas for Dawson and I. I wasn't sure if he even liked iced tea that much but I remembered he ordered it at my work, besides it's the least I could do after making him upset.

When I pulled into the parking lot I had exactly five minutes to spare. I parked across the lot from his truck and gathered the few things I needed from my car and put them into my purse.

I pulled down my mirror and fixed up my appearance before grabbing the iced tea and purse before making my way over to his truck.

Taking a seat down on the curb in front of his truck I pulled out my phone and aimlessly started scrolling through social media as I awaited him.

"Ains." A voice says from behind me causing me to slip my phone into my pocket. "You waited out here the whole time?"

I look up into his blue eyes as he looked at me admiringly. Tiredness was evident in his eyes but he still looked as handsome as ever. His dark blonde hair was tousled as a slight stubble dusted his sharp jawline.

I shook my head and handed him an iced tea. "I didn't, but I got you this. I don't know if you want it but it's may way to say sorry for snapping."

He takes the iced tea from my grasp before offering a hand to help me up off the curb. I placed my smaller hand in his as it felt as though electricity was pulsing through my veins. His hand was slightly calloused by still soft as he laced his fingers with mine before pulling me up to my feet.

It seemed like time stood still for a moment as I kept my hand intertwined with his. He didn't pull away but eventually I did as I reached down to grab my bag and drink. Thankful that my long hair was covering the blush which tinted my cheeks.

I heard his truck being unlocked as well as a door opening as I looked up and saw him throwing his bag into the backseat.

He walks back over towards me before reaching behind my body and opening the passenger door. "Hop in." he says motioning inside with a tilt of his head.

I made my way up into the passenger seat as Dawson closed the door before making his way over to the drivers side as he jumped in with ease.

He grabbed a pair of sunglasses from the centre console, slipping them onto his face as he looked at me with a slight smile. "Mind if I take you somewhere? It is not too far from here."

"Of course, let's go." I reply as Dawson throws the truck into drive. "Where are we heading to?"

"You'll see. It's a secret." He turns his attention to the road which was packed with the cars of beachgoers.

With every turn of the wheel his muscles flexed and strained against his dark grey t-shirt. He effortlessly weaved in and out of the traffic getting us to the highway before turning on the radio to ease some of the newfound tension between us.

Whenever I was in awkward situations or was nervous I always found myself playing with the bracelet on my wrist that Crystal gave me and that's exactly what I was doing now.

I noticed that Dawson turned his head and saw me flicking the charm. It looked as though he wanted to say something but instead let out an almost inaudible sigh before focusing back on the road.

I could tell something was on his mind as he clenched the steering wheel tightly, his knuckles white from his grasp on it.

After a few minutes he slowed down and turned onto an unmarked gravel road. There was a hand-painted sign that we drove past so quickly I didn't get a chance to read what it had said.

Up in the distance I could make out the sun reflecting off the blue water of the ocean, the view being lined with trees on either side of the road.

The road wasn't very long, but it was extremely bumpy as we neared the end. Dawson pulled the truck off to the side and put it in park before taking the keys out of the ignition.

"We're here." he says finally breaking the tension between the two of us. Grabbing his iced tea he makes his way out of the truck and over to my side before I even had a chance to open my door.

The door swings open as Dawson stands there with a slight smile pulling at his lips as he helps me out of the truck.

Below my feet was sand and a path that led through the trees was in front of us. He starts off down the short path with myself following closely behind him.

The only sound was that of the waves crashing upon the rocks ahead. The amount of trees lining the path was becoming less and less until the sight of a small secluded beach with cliffs on either side made itself apparent.

The cliffs were quite large, I never even noticed we had gone up in elevation until I turned to face behind us and noticed the road up here was quite steep.

The beaches weren't like the ones within Chancier. Instead it was cluttered with large rocks as oppose to the soft sand I was used to.

"Welcome to my favourite place." Dawson says leading me over to a flat rock which was situated close to the waters edge. "I come out here to talk, to think, to escape." he sits on the rock as I follow suit as he looks out at the ocean. "I don't show many people this spot."

My heart beat went into overdrive at hearing those words.

"I apologize about earlier. I never meant to doubt your ability. It's just after seeing you run out like that I was worried that you were, or someone else was trying to force you to do this."

I take a deep breath running my hand through my hair as I prepare for what i'm about to say next.

"You want to know what happened to cause me to stop surfing? I'll tell you. I lost my best friend to surfing and I have blamed myself for what happened to her that day." I say, my voice faltering as I fought back tears.

"Ains, you don't have to tell me if you don't want to." He said softly, his eyes filled with concern as he looked at me.

"I need to tell you...It was my idea to go out on the ocean that day. It was stupid of me, I knew the weather was bad but I was selfish and all I could think about was riding a big one. The entire time she was telling me how this wasn't a good idea, how it was dangerous, how one of us could get hurt, and she was right. She didn't even want to surf that day but I forced her to." I say as tears started making their way down my face as I couldn't hold it back anymore.

Dawson didn't say anything, instead he placed his hand gently on top of mine silently urging me to continue as his thumb rubbed circles against the back of my hand.

"She ended up drowning that day. They think that she got caught up in a riptide and couldn't find her way out. She lost her life, her future, everything she worked for and dreamed of all because of me. I threw everything away after that because if she couldn't surf I shouldn't either."

I paused for a moment. My mind was having a mental debate on rather I should open up to him about what happened after that.

"I quit after that. I locked up my boards in a shed and threw the key away. The diagnosis of depression came  shortly after that. One year after she passed away I hit an all time low and attempted suicide. I went in my backyard and attempted to drown myself in the ocean, if it wasn't for my mother I wouldn't be here right now. She found me. Dragged me up out of the water and I laid there lifeless on the beach just as though Crystal had done a year prior."

"Ains you don't have to say anymore." Dawson says. His voice quiet and breaking after he said my name.

"I was in a coma for days. They never knew how long my brain was without oxygen for. Apparently it wasn't for long enough cause here I am, living, and she was the one who had to suffer."

Sobs wracked through my body as Dawson's arms quickly engulfed my body holding me against him. I buried my face in his shirt as he held me not saying a word.

His hand softly moved up and down my back in an attempt to calm me down as my tears soak his shirt. I never break down like this in front of anyone but I felt safe with Dawson. I felt safe from judgement and harassment.

"Ainsley." he says as I lift my head off his chest to look up at him. He gently reaches down, wiping some tears off my face with his thumb. "You aren't responsible for what happened to her, it was a freak accident. I know you blame yourself, and me telling you not to probably would do no good, but you can't be so hard on yourself."

"I never knew your friend, but I can guarantee you she wouldn't want you to blame yourself. I'm so sorry for everything that you've been through and if there was a way I could take away your pain I would. But you are strong, you wanting to get back on a board proves that. She'd be proud of you and I sure am as well."

I look up at him, meeting his blue eyes as I can't help the smile that makes it's way onto my face.

"Thank you Dawson." I practically whimper as my voice came out weak and muted. "For everything."

"No need to thank me, and for helping you surf again. I'd be more than happy to do anything I can to get you riding a wave again."

"Really!?" I ask, the excitement causing me to move out of his grasp as I sit up straighter.

"We'll start tomorrow."

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Word Count: 2399